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Spontaneous meets
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Do people agree if it wasn’t for the people on here who are not here for the right reasons and only for a ego boost and to mess people about that the people on here who are genuine and mean well wouldn’t have to constantly prove themselves and meets would be less complicated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just because someone’s not here for the same reasons as you, doesn’t mean they’re here for the wrong reasons. I would suggest that for many ( not all ) women on here , spontaneous meets are the wrong reason |
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Is this another way of saying the idiots ruin it for the genuine guys because we all know that isn't true at all. They only ruin it for themselves.
Virtue signalling and genuine are rarely good bedfellows either.
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Do people agree if it wasn’t for the people on here who are not here for the right reasons and only for a ego boost and to mess people about that the people on here who are genuine and mean well wouldn’t have to constantly prove themselves and meets would be less complicated "
No. I disagree.
The people who are here to not meet are easily identifiable, whether that's through reading their profiles (like ours at the mo) or by exchanging messages, talking on the phone, having a social and progressing at a realistic and sensible pace, rather than rushing in because you have a hard on.
As for 'genuine' and 'having to prove themselves'? I'd expect anyone looking to meet a stranger via the internet to understand that people have concerns for safety and as such want to ensure the person they're chatting to isn't a catfish, a completely different gender to the one on their profile, or a serial killer.
If you want anonymous, instant hook ups with no pre-meet checks then I'd suggest hiring a professional.
A |
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"Do people agree if it wasn’t for the people on here who are not here for the right reasons and only for a ego boost and to mess people about that the people on here who are genuine and mean well wouldn’t have to constantly prove themselves and meets would be less complicated
No. I disagree.
The people who are here to not meet are easily identifiable, whether that's through reading their profiles (like ours at the mo) or by exchanging messages, talking on the phone, having a social and progressing at a realistic and sensible pace, rather than rushing in because you have a hard on.
As for 'genuine' and 'having to prove themselves'? I'd expect anyone looking to meet a stranger via the internet to understand that people have concerns for safety and as such want to ensure the person they're chatting to isn't a catfish, a completely different gender to the one on their profile, or a serial killer.
If you want anonymous, instant hook ups with no pre-meet checks then I'd suggest hiring a professional.
A"
Anyone who tries to message me at the moment probably wastes between seconds and a minute. My profile is clear and my filters are up.
And even if not, people have their own ways of working out who and when to meet, even if it's not convenient to others |
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Point I’m trying to make is that because of so many frauds on here people are more reserved. I’ve had conversations with friends on here m and f who have been on here for years and they say the same that they would’ve met someone spontaneously just for a social even but because there’s so many fakes and have been messed about that their opinion now is they tar everyone with that brush. Which on a whole has a negative view about here |
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"Point I’m trying to make is that because of so many frauds on here people are more reserved. I’ve had conversations with friends on here m and f who have been on here for years and they say the same that they would’ve met someone spontaneously just for a social even but because there’s so many fakes and have been messed about that their opinion now is they tar everyone with that brush. Which on a whole has a negative view about here "
No, I still don't think that's true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do people agree if it wasn’t for the people on here who are not here for the right reasons and only for a ego boost and to mess people about that the people on here who are genuine and mean well wouldn’t have to constantly prove themselves and meets would be less complicated "
I agree. I have mostly just had spontaneous meets on here in the past. I think with so many no shows and ghosters (that's a word), people looking for "spontaneous" meets are more likely to choose verified people more now than ever |
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"Point I’m trying to make is that because of so many frauds on here people are more reserved. I’ve had conversations with friends on here m and f who have been on here for years and they say the same that they would’ve met someone spontaneously just for a social even but because there’s so many fakes and have been messed about that their opinion now is they tar everyone with that brush. Which on a whole has a negative view about here "
And yet for everyone who comments on the forums about being caught out so many times and had numerous no shows there are those including myself who have never once been caught out or had a no show.
What that says to me is that some people are either not very good at vetting those they are talking to or they are prepared to take that risk. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Point I’m trying to make is that because of so many frauds on here people are more reserved. I’ve had conversations with friends on here m and f who have been on here for years and they say the same that they would’ve met someone spontaneously just for a social even but because there’s so many fakes and have been messed about that their opinion now is they tar everyone with that brush. Which on a whole has a negative view about here
No, I still don't think that's true"
Me neither.
I've seen no changes in the site since I first set up a single male profile way back in 2008 when there was a mass exodus from LS. There have always been good profiles and bad, people with realistic expectations and those that think it's instashag.
If you can't spot a profile that is disingenuous then it's often more a problem with your online behaviours than anything else.
More haste less speed.........
A |
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Maybe I’m not explaining my point right I apologise. Of course the right thing to do is be safe and careful and know who your talking to and comfortable that goes without saying, what I’m saying is that a minority of people have spoilt it. I know someone who constantly gets messed about and lies. Or abuse if after chatting with someone she declines to meet so opinions change on a whole. |
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i've had plenty of perfect meets , i keep them short and sweet , couple of hours, all been good.
socials are worse for me , met 3 people , i got the first round of drinks £42 as included a bottle of wine , and the second round £24 then they slipped away, total users. that was a 350 mile round trip for me and a 90 pound hotel , been chatting to them 2 years so thought they were ok.  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Point I’m trying to make is that because of so many frauds on here people are more reserved. I’ve had conversations with friends on here m and f who have been on here for years and they say the same that they would’ve met someone spontaneously just for a social even but because there’s so many fakes and have been messed about that their opinion now is they tar everyone with that brush. Which on a whole has a negative view about here "
No I don't agree with that.I find fakes are pretty easy to spot as are people who are on the site for different reasons to me like those that just look for wank material etc. Once I get an inclination of any of these I stop interacting and so far it has worked well for me I've never been ghosted on here so far anyhow.
I don't do spontaneous meets never have and never will,by chatting I get to know people before I meet.
I take each person as an individual and I don't tar everyone with the one brush I don't see why anyone would of I'm honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe I’m not explaining my point right I apologise. Of course the right thing to do is be safe and careful and know who your talking to and comfortable that goes without saying, what I’m saying is that a minority of people have spoilt it. I know someone who constantly gets messed about and lies. Or abuse if after chatting with someone she declines to meet so opinions change on a whole. "
You may find some people agree with you - they stop meeting from here because of being messed about. I have pretty much given up and that's the primary reason. Perhaps it will be suggested that I don't bet people well but I rarely meet anyone within a month of starting to chat. And it's always a social after I made a first-timer mistake.
But a lot of people use the site successfully whether for the "right reasons" or just their own reasons. I think people make their own choices and do what works for them. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
I couldn't do a spontaneous meet because I have a family and I imagine that would be the main reason for a lot of people.
I actually get annoyed at people assuming I would be there at their beck and call. It's not so bad when someone asks, despite it saying on our profile we can't, it's the demading or expectation that fucks me off
P |
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I don’t do spontaneous meets because my time is precious to me and I also don’t like shit sex. I want to get to know someone and make sure we seem compatible before meeting.
The only time I’ve been stood up is on a date from a dating site, so it’s not about vetting someone, just trying to gauge whether sex will be good or bad  |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Ugh, the relentless negging and clumsy-ass manipulation is never going to get me to meet up with someone. I don’t give a flying fodwaddle whether someone tells me they are sick of fakes and timewasters in a not-so-subtle attempt to get me to ‘prove myself’. I have veris and they clearly show that I have and will meet. In my time. When I’m ready and 99% certain the chemistry with other person is going to be worth the meet.
This is either a FFSDB GETB or a WKA. Either way, it’s ground my gears  |
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"Ugh, the relentless negging and clumsy-ass manipulation is never going to get me to meet up with someone. I don’t give a flying fodwaddle whether someone tells me they are sick of fakes and timewasters in a not-so-subtle attempt to get me to ‘prove myself’. I have veris and they clearly show that I have and will meet. In my time. When I’m ready and 99% certain the chemistry with other person is going to be worth the meet.
This is either a FFSDB GETB or a WKA. Either way, it’s ground my gears "
Yup. If me not meeting (or not meeting a particular person) makes me a fake time wasting man, guess I'm a fake time wasting man. Idgaf  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ugh, the relentless negging and clumsy-ass manipulation is never going to get me to meet up with someone. I don’t give a flying fodwaddle whether someone tells me they are sick of fakes and timewasters in a not-so-subtle attempt to get me to ‘prove myself’. I have veris and they clearly show that I have and will meet. In my time. When I’m ready and 99% certain the chemistry with other person is going to be worth the meet.
This is either a FFSDB GETB or a WKA. Either way, it’s ground my gears "
Damn it, haven't memorised them yet.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it wasn't for ten dickhead arranging meets may be easier ...
But I suspect spontaneous meets will still be difficult.
Imo asking for spontaneous meets doesn't give off the greatest if vibes.
And that puts ppl off. |
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I think it depends what you mean by spontaneous. I wouldn't meet after swapping a couple of messages with a random woman. If it's someone I'd been chatting to and we suddenly decided to meet spur of the moment then that's different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not in the slightest. If I was struggling to find people to interact with - for any reason, not just to have a spontaneous meet - the last thing I'd blame would be other people's behaviour.
Mr |
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