FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Confess you sins

Confess you sins

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sister Jennie Talia of the Order of the Sacred FAF is opening the confessional. Unburden your souls you poor misguided sinners. Seek absolution. Confess for the sake of your eternal souls!

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By *issEmmWoman over a year ago

Bournemouth

I bought my kids Easter eggs and hid them in a cupboard but then I ate them

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I bought my kids Easter eggs and hid them in a cupboard but then I ate them

This is a wicked sin indeed. Depriving the innocents, you miserable sinner. As suitable penance cover yourself on chocolate spread and await me on the confessional booth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I bought my kids Easter eggs and hid them in a cupboard but then I ate them

That’s class darling

I do that every year

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I bought my kids Easter eggs and hid them in a cupboard but then I ate them

That’s class darling

I do that every year

In that case join MissEmm in the booth that I may cleanse you both with my holy tongue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Only two? FAB be praised, we are without sin!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes "

The Jaffa Cake is holy manna from heaven, only able to be tolerated by the most pure of heart.

If you can consume a pack.of Jaffa cakes and they stat down you are worthy of this blessed being whom you crave. If not, you are cursed to a lifetime if longing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

The Jaffa Cake is holy manna from heaven, only able to be tolerated by the most pure of heart.

If you can consume a pack.of Jaffa cakes and they stat down you are worthy of this blessed being whom you crave. If not, you are cursed to a lifetime if longing."

Cursed I be

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

The Jaffa Cake is holy manna from heaven, only able to be tolerated by the most pure of heart.

If you can consume a pack.of Jaffa cakes and they stat down you are worthy of this blessed being whom you crave. If not, you are cursed to a lifetime if longing.

Cursed I be

Wicked sinner

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

The Jaffa Cake is holy manna from heaven, only able to be tolerated by the most pure of heart.

If you can consume a pack.of Jaffa cakes and they stat down you are worthy of this blessed being whom you crave. If not, you are cursed to a lifetime if longing.

Cursed I be

Wicked sinner"

I try

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

The Jaffa Cake is holy manna from heaven, only able to be tolerated by the most pure of heart.

If you can consume a pack.of Jaffa cakes and they stat down you are worthy of this blessed being whom you crave. If not, you are cursed to a lifetime if longing.

Cursed I be

Wicked sinner

I try

You are a trial

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

The Jaffa Cake is holy manna from heaven, only able to be tolerated by the most pure of heart.

If you can consume a pack.of Jaffa cakes and they stat down you are worthy of this blessed being whom you crave. If not, you are cursed to a lifetime if longing.

Cursed I be

Wicked sinner

I try

You are a trial"

I'm allowed

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You're loud

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Forgive me for my sins. I have skived off work at least one afternoon this week.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Forgive me for my sins. I have skived off work at least one afternoon this week. "

That would be forgivable had you dedicated that time to quiet contemplation. If, however (as I suspect) this time was use to peruse Fab in a lecherous and lascivious manner, then you are doomed to burn in the vanilla fires of eternity. Your only hope is to kneel and beg for Sister Jennie to anoint you with her holy unction

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Good evening sister Jennie I was

Farther Richard here I wondering how confession was going this evening . i see wonko waiting for absolution he almost as bad as Michael gove who attends my church .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself "

That's no sin.

Even I, the immaculate and most holy, have been known to partake!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Forgive me for my sins. I have skived off work at least one afternoon this week.

Do whatever you want to me sister.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sister Jennie.

Please forgive me, I have sinned on an immeasurable level. I needed a sugar fix, and nicked my daughters last Freddo. I’m ashamed of myself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good evening sister Jennie I was

Farther Richard here I wondering how confession was going this evening . i see wonko waiting for absolution he almost as bad as Michael gove who attends my church ."

There is only one Father I acknowledge, the most reverend Father Wonko, may all bow down before him.

To answer your question, confession goeth slowly. The world reeks of sin,mortal souls are condemning theirselves through thought and deed, with no compunction and no effort at absolution.

Amen

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

I was born

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By *mily36CWoman over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself "

Not in

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman over a year ago

North West

"Good evening sister Jennie I was

Farther Richard here I wondering how confession was going this evening . i see wonko waiting for absolution he almost as bad as Michael gove who attends my church .

There is only one Father I acknowledge, the most reverend Father Wonko, may all bow down before him.

To answer your question, confession goeth slowly. The world reeks of sin,mortal souls are condemning theirselves through thought and deed, with no compunction and no effort at absolution.

Amen"

Bend down near Wonko, I think not...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Forgive me for my sins. I have skived off work at least one afternoon this week.

Do whatever you want to me sister.

Its not that I want to, this vocation is a curse in equal measure but souls need saving.

Hallelujah

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman over a year ago

North West

"Sister Jennie Talia of the Order of the Sacred FAF is opening the confessional. Unburden your souls you poor misguided sinners. Seek absolution. Confess for the sake of your eternal souls!"

I'm compelled to confess to sloth, lust and envy....

I can't be arsed with cleaning (sloth).

I FaF (lust).

And I wish I was in Manchester (envy)...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sister Jennie, I liked you until I got to "rocket is not peppery it's horrible. And goat's cheese is food of the devil."

Now, I will have to consider if I'll bring cake for you at my next confession.

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By *.L.0460.Woman over a year ago

Bognor Regis

I confess that in a hungover state, I had a Macdonalds breakfast, a cafe lunch & about to order a Chinese for dinner!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie.

Please forgive me, I have sinned on an immeasurable level. I needed a sugar fix, and nicked my daughters last Freddo. I’m ashamed of myself. "

Chocolate seems the basis for much of recent sinful behaviour. Savoury restitution is required. Smear thr sinful bollocks with marmite and stand naked in the local dog sanctuary. Think upon your disgraceful behaviour as you do. If you get out alive, you shall be cleansed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I was born"

And praise be to Fab for the gift of Dowhatwherewhy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sister Jennie.

Please forgive me, I have sinned on an immeasurable level. I needed a sugar fix, and nicked my daughters last Freddo. I’m ashamed of myself.

Shit, this is awks, I was gonna confess to this sin too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself

Not in

In that case hide under my lecturn. Yes that's it, just there. Now just open your mouth a little wider.....

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Well I'm sorry. Confession was going slow but seams to have pick up quite nicely now .

Fogive me sister wasn't aware that wonko had in fact also taken the holy order .ok all credit due to him

But because I'm from. A different

Denomination than your self .

But pleased to see people attending

Church and confessing their sins

God bless all here .father Richard

From the church of the way wood

Sinners

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By *mashingPumpkinMan over a year ago

Carmarthen

Sister Jennie, I made pizzas and one was meant to be veggie but I forgot and put chicken and ham on. I picked it off after cooking and they didn’t notice. They had got pissed the week before and had a late night lamb donner, so in my defence it was a slight mishap.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan over a year ago

Aylesbury

"I was born

And praise be to Fab for the gift of Dowhatwherewhy"

Original sin init

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie Talia of the Order of the Sacred FAF is opening the confessional. Unburden your souls you poor misguided sinners. Seek absolution. Confess for the sake of your eternal souls!

I'm compelled to confess to sloth, lust and envy....

I can't be arsed with cleaning (sloth).

I FaF (lust).

And I wish I was in Manchester (envy)...

My child, I too wish to partake of the pilgrimage to The great cathedral of FAF that is Manchester. This is no sin, it is a desire to attain the ultimate Fab enlightenment.

To address the Lust issue, a vigorous application of the golden dildo of Saint Crumpet will control your roving eye.

As for Sloth .... geta fucking duster out you lazy, dirty biatch!

Praise Be!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie, I liked you until I got to "rocket is not peppery it's horrible. And goat's cheese is food of the devil."

Now, I will have to consider if I'll bring cake for you at my next confession."

Get thee behind me, oh spewer of Satan's filth.

(and whilst you are there ....)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I confess that in a hungover state, I had a Macdonalds breakfast, a cafe lunch & about to order a Chinese for dinner!!

A healthy portion of King Po Chicken and a side order of Singapore Noodles will purge your immortal soul.

Pick up a special Food Yung for me whilst you are there will you? Ta babes.

So sayeth Fab

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie.

Please forgive me, I have sinned on an immeasurable level. I needed a sugar fix, and nicked my daughters last Freddo. I’m ashamed of myself.

Shit, this is awks, I was gonna confess to this sin too.

In that case you are ready for induction into the inner sanctum. Report to Bishop Dom in the vestry. He'll show you the ropes.

And chains.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well I'm sorry. Confession was going slow but seams to have pick up quite nicely now .

Fogive me sister wasn't aware that wonko had in fact also taken the holy order .ok all credit due to him

But because I'm from. A different

Denomination than your self .

But pleased to see people attending

Church and confessing their sins

God bless all here .father Richard

From the church of the way wood

Sinners

This is a heretical order.

Conversation therapy is your only hope. Bend over

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie, I made pizzas and one was meant to be veggie but I forgot and put chicken and ham on. I picked it off after cooking and they didn’t notice. They had got pissed the week before and had a late night lamb donner, so in my defence it was a slight mishap. "

Through mishap do greater errors come.

Slam thy sinful phallus in the car door whilst reciting a dozen hail hairys

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman over a year ago

North West

"Sister Jennie Talia of the Order of the Sacred FAF is opening the confessional. Unburden your souls you poor misguided sinners. Seek absolution. Confess for the sake of your eternal souls!

I'm compelled to confess to sloth, lust and envy....

I can't be arsed with cleaning (sloth).

I FaF (lust).

And I wish I was in Manchester (envy)...

My child, I too wish to partake of the pilgrimage to The great cathedral of FAF that is Manchester. This is no sin, it is a desire to attain the ultimate Fab enlightenment.

To address the Lust issue, a vigorous application of the golden dildo of Saint Crumpet will control your roving eye.

As for Sloth .... geta fucking duster out you lazy, dirty biatch!

Praise Be!

LustBusting not Dustbusting!!

Woo.

Thanks Ma'am

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By *rispyDuckMan over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Forgive me Sister for I have sinned

Last weekend I shagged my work colleague so good/hard she called in sick on Monday, aching all over

. If my defence she said that just what she needed after a crap Friday

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Forgive me Sister for I have sinned

Last weekend I shagged my work colleague so good/hard she called in sick on Monday, aching all over

. If my defence she said that just what she needed after a crap Friday"

Oh the poor poor recipient of your lustful ravaging!

Wait for me behind the Chapel after evensong that you may demonstrate this regrettable behaviour. I must fully understand your transgression before I pass a suitable penance.

Purely for research purposes, you understand

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie Talia of the Order of the Sacred FAF is opening the confessional. Unburden your souls you poor misguided sinners. Seek absolution. Confess for the sake of your eternal souls!

I'm compelled to confess to sloth, lust and envy....

I can't be arsed with cleaning (sloth).

I FaF (lust).

And I wish I was in Manchester (envy)...

My child, I too wish to partake of the pilgrimage to The great cathedral of FAF that is Manchester. This is no sin, it is a desire to attain the ultimate Fab enlightenment.

To address the Lust issue, a vigorous application of the golden dildo of Saint Crumpet will control your roving eye.

As for Sloth .... geta fucking duster out you lazy, dirty biatch!

Praise Be!

LustBusting not Dustbusting!!

Woo.

Thanks Ma'am

The saving of your soul is all the thanks I need

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sister Jennie

I have to confess I am going to do bad things with a forumite and his wife soon and I can’t wait sorry not sorry.

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By *rincessPuddleDuck22Woman over a year ago

.•°°

I have nothing to confess, i'm too good

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I have to confess I am going to do bad things with a forumite and his wife soon and I can’t wait sorry not sorry. "

I will expect a fuller confession of your outrageous behaviour after the event. You may stroke The Shaft of Jennie Talia as you confess. For comfort.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I have to confess I am going to do bad things with a forumite and his wife soon and I can’t wait sorry not sorry.

I will expect a fuller confession of your outrageous behaviour after the event. You may stroke The Shaft of Jennie Talia as you confess. For comfort."

Oooh now that sounds like an offer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have nothing to confess, i'm too good

Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa

Fuck me, thats a good one.

Ahem .... sorry ... your purity is an example to us all, and shit, yadda yadda.

Whatever.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes "

Dear Sister Jennie, I must confess I don't like Jaffa Cakes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I have to confess I am going to do bad things with a forumite and his wife soon and I can’t wait sorry not sorry.

I will expect a fuller confession of your outrageous behaviour after the event. You may stroke The Shaft of Jennie Talia as you confess. For comfort.

Oooh now that sounds like an offer. "

The FAF moves in mysterious ways.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

Dear Sister Jennie, I must confess I don't like Jaffa Cakes

The jaffa cake is the holiest of foods. You miserable sinner. A healthy session with the paddle of Sister Excruciatrix is your only hope of salvation. Miserable Heathen!

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I confess that I am a woman using Fab while not, in fact, fancying a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I confess that I am a woman using Fab while not, in fact, fancying a fuck."

Oh. The cursed spawn of Satan.

Hereafter to be known as The Vile Prick Tease!

May the hosts of Hell forever torment you with their little flicky elastic bands.

Witch.

The hair proves it!

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By *idnight RamblerMan over a year ago

Pershore

I work at Sydney University.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I confess that I am a woman using Fab while not, in fact, fancying a fuck.

Oh. The cursed spawn of Satan.

Hereafter to be known as The Vile Prick Tease!

May the hosts of Hell forever torment you with their little flicky elastic bands.

Witch.

The hair proves it!"

I have some frizz but that's a bit harsh

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I work at Sydney University."

There is a special pit preserved for the likes of you. Filled with custard and chilli powder.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I confess that I am a woman using Fab while not, in fact, fancying a fuck.

Oh. The cursed spawn of Satan.

Hereafter to be known as The Vile Prick Tease!

May the hosts of Hell forever torment you with their little flicky elastic bands.

Witch.

The hair proves it!

I have some frizz but that's a bit harsh

Nothing is too harsh for those not of the FAF persuasion

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By *orkcoastguyMan over a year ago

Bridlington.

'Etete absolve'

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By *orkcoastguyMan over a year ago

Bridlington.

'Etete absolve'

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"'Etete absolve'"

vis a irrumabo

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"'Etete absolve'"

We heard you the first time

Impatience is a sin

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good evening sister Jennie I was

Farther Richard here I wondering how confession was going this evening . i see wonko waiting for absolution he almost as bad as Michael gove who attends my church .

There is only one Father I acknowledge, the most reverend Father Wonko, may all bow down before him.

To answer your question, confession goeth slowly. The world reeks of sin,mortal souls are condemning theirselves through thought and deed, with no compunction and no effort at absolution.

Amen

Bend down near Wonko, I think not..."

Fine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oooo sister Jennie I have sind so badly

Blow 6 guys yesterday

Let 4 off them fuck me

2 off the 4 was a spit roast

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good evening sister Jennie I was

Farther Richard here I wondering how confession was going this evening . i see wonko waiting for absolution he almost as bad as Michael gove who attends my church .

There is only one Father I acknowledge, the most reverend Father Wonko, may all bow down before him.

To answer your question, confession goeth slowly. The world reeks of sin,mortal souls are condemning theirselves through thought and deed, with no compunction and no effort at absolution.

Amen

Bend down near Wonko, I think not...

Fine

Good evening Padre

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good evening sister Jennie I was

Farther Richard here I wondering how confession was going this evening . i see wonko waiting for absolution he almost as bad as Michael gove who attends my church .

There is only one Father I acknowledge, the most reverend Father Wonko, may all bow down before him.

To answer your question, confession goeth slowly. The world reeks of sin,mortal souls are condemning theirselves through thought and deed, with no compunction and no effort at absolution.

Amen

Bend down near Wonko, I think not...

Fine

Good evening Padre "

I hung up my collar

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Good evening sister Jennie I was

Farther Richard here I wondering how confession was going this evening . i see wonko waiting for absolution he almost as bad as Michael gove who attends my church .

There is only one Father I acknowledge, the most reverend Father Wonko, may all bow down before him.

To answer your question, confession goeth slowly. The world reeks of sin,mortal souls are condemning theirselves through thought and deed, with no compunction and no effort at absolution.

Amen

Bend down near Wonko, I think not...

Fine

Good evening Padre

I hung up my collar "

How wise.

Trinkets and adornments would only distract from your purity.

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By *r SproutMan over a year ago

the middle

I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Could I have wonko collar

My wearing a bit thin.

Wow I never thought a sentence

Like that would come out of my mouth its usually me giveing out the collars . in my other life .

Father Richard

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By *mily36CWoman over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself

Not in

In that case hide under my lecturn. Yes that's it, just there. Now just open your mouth a little wider....."

... part of the priesthood training?!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

I'm glad you don't attend my church

Talking smut like that I hope

Sister Jennie can set you on the

Right path .

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By *r SproutMan over a year ago

the middle

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

I'm glad you don't attend my church

Talking smut like that I hope

Sister Jennie can set you on the

Right path ."

It was my pastor who brought up the subject

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By *r easy1981Man over a year ago

leeds

I am totally blessed

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself

Not in

In that case hide under my lecturn. Yes that's it, just there. Now just open your mouth a little wider.....

... part of the priesthood training?!

If it is I think we will adopt this in our church .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself

Not in

In that case hide under my lecturn. Yes that's it, just there. Now just open your mouth a little wider.....

... part of the priesthood training?!

Yes of course.

Now hush up and put it in your mouth

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By *uperjackMan over a year ago

Bristol

Dear Sister Jennie.

I’m sure it’s ok, but I feel the need to check. Whilst trying to do the right thing by squeezing and massaging my engorged member in an attempt to make that sinful erection go away, I accidentally slipped a finger in my butt. A tumultuous eruption ensued and the pesky member returned to its unsinful state. Please confirm I am still at one with the baby Jesus.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

Curiosity leads to depravity.

Which leads to damnation.

Save thine own seed in a jar.

Once full, consume the vile concoction.

Your curiosity will be cured for good.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

I'm glad you don't attend my church

Talking smut like that I hope

Sister Jennie can set you on the

Right path ."

Oi heretic!

You. Hey you, get offa my cloud.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

I'm glad you don't attend my church

Talking smut like that I hope

Sister Jennie can set you on the

Right path .

It was my pastor who brought up the subject

A dog collar does not guarantee righteousness

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I am totally blessed

But are you.

Have you felt the holy loving light of Fab bathing you in glory?

Have the righteous fingers of Sister Jennie penetrated you in ecstatic fervor?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I regularly spam the lounge with pointless threads. I can't help myself

Not in

In that case hide under my lecturn. Yes that's it, just there. Now just open your mouth a little wider.....

... part of the priesthood training?!

If it is I think we will adopt this in our church ."

Convert.

Join the flock of Fab.

Feel the love wash over you in a tide of holy jazz.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear Sister Jennie.

You have taken a step closer to the vanilla flames of doom. Your intentions were pure but the deeds were misguided.

Maybe, just maybe, your member can be exorcised by Sister Lucrezia sucking the sinful effluent from it. We will have to be quick though, she's got an appointment to get her crack waxed in a hour or so

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Well with the world in the state its in

With so many sinners here .

The more people confessing and more ladies wishing to join the priesthood in willing to be seconded to your church to help in that training as know sister Jennie

It can be very stressful hearing.

Confessions and awarding penance

And absolution if wonko hung up

His collar .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *r SproutMan over a year ago

the middle

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

Curiosity leads to depravity.

Which leads to damnation.

Save thine own seed in a jar.

Once full, consume the vile concoction.

Your curiosity will be cured for good."

Can I add some summer fruits squash to it for flavour?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well with the world in the state its in

With so many sinners here .

The more people confessing and more ladies wishing to join the priesthood in willing to be seconded to your church to help in that training as know sister Jennie

It can be very stressful hearing.

Confessions and awarding penance

And absolution if wonko hung up

His collar ."

Saint Wonko the Blessed as he shall henceforth be known

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

Curiosity leads to depravity.

Which leads to damnation.

Save thine own seed in a jar.

Once full, consume the vile concoction.

Your curiosity will be cured for good.

Can I add some summer fruits squash to it for flavour?"

Nothing can mask the flavour of redemption

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Be Jesus god works in mysterious

Way indeed if wonko has reached

That level of grace .

They hope for us all .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Be Jesus god works in mysterious

Way indeed if wonko has reached

That level of grace .

They hope for us all ."

Who said this was about J Boy?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I failed and each day of inaction i get further from excitement

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hoirCouple over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Sister Jennie

Don't bother forgiving my sins for they are too numerous to repeat. Also I'd rather go to hell anyway ;P

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

I'm glad you don't attend my church

Talking smut like that I hope

Sister Jennie can set you on the

Right path .

It was my pastor who brought up the subject

A dog collar does not guarantee righteousness "

Not even if you assume the doggy position while wearing it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I failed and each day of inaction i get further from excitement"

Inaction risks sinful thought.

Get thee to a nunnery.

Oh .... hang on

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

Don't bother forgiving my sins for they are too numerous to repeat. Also I'd rather go to hell anyway ;P

The unrepentant sinner is a soul lost for eternity

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

I'm glad you don't attend my church

Talking smut like that I hope

Sister Jennie can set you on the

Right path .

It was my pastor who brought up the subject

A dog collar does not guarantee righteousness

Not even if you assume the doggy position while wearing it?"

See?

How the witch doth tempt us!

Although ... maybe a quickie wouldn't hurt?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *Bacchus.Man over a year ago

Torquay

OP you are freaking hilarious, excellent stuff

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m not sure it’s a sin but, I’m very curious about felching for some reason

I'm glad you don't attend my church

Talking smut like that I hope

Sister Jennie can set you on the

Right path .

It was my pastor who brought up the subject

A dog collar does not guarantee righteousness

Not even if you assume the doggy position while wearing it?

See?

How the witch doth tempt us!

Although ... maybe a quickie wouldn't hurt?"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Your cloud seam to be bigger

Than and had mine and the church is empty at the moment .there are so many sinners out there I can only Come over to help as I've I don't want you over doing things

Especially now wonko gone to

pastures new .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Your cloud seam to be bigger

Than and had mine and the church is empty at the moment .there are so many sinners out there I can only Come over to help as I've I don't want you over doing things

Especially now wonko gone to

pastures new ."

But you are a heretic.

I would need to initiate you in our holy ways.

Drop yer kecks and bend over!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Why is it all these all these in authority in churches seam to have these strange ceremony to enable you to get in .

I would have thought someone of my status been ordained already and with covid

And all that I wouldn't have to go through all that again .

Typical you offer a helping hand

I will consider my position and get

Back to you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve eaten loads of chocolate today and want more

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *inister_SpinsterWoman over a year ago

North West

"Well with the world in the state its in

With so many sinners here .

The more people confessing and more ladies wishing to join the priesthood in willing to be seconded to your church to help in that training as know sister Jennie

It can be very stressful hearing.

Confessions and awarding penance

And absolution if wonko hung up

His collar .

Saint Wonko the Blessed as he shall henceforth be known"

Amen.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why is it all these all these in authority in churches seam to have these strange ceremony to enable you to get in .

I would have thought someone of my status been ordained already and with covid

And all that I wouldn't have to go through all that again .

Typical you offer a helping hand

I will consider my position and get

Back to you

It is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for a camel to.

Or something like that

So sayeth Fab

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Camel toes now we are talking

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve eaten loads of chocolate today and want more

The mortal sin of chocolate.

It is prevalent and insidious.

It can only be assuaged by sticking cheese in your foof and laying down near a mouse hole

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well with the world in the state its in

With so many sinners here .

The more people confessing and more ladies wishing to join the priesthood in willing to be seconded to your church to help in that training as know sister Jennie

It can be very stressful hearing.

Confessions and awarding penance

And absolution if wonko hung up

His collar .

Saint Wonko the Blessed as he shall henceforth be known

Amen. "

Preach sista!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Camel toes now we are talking "

Be gone!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve eaten loads of chocolate today and want more

The mortal sin of chocolate.

It is prevalent and insidious.

It can only be assuaged by sticking cheese in your foof and laying down near a mouse hole"

WTF

you get worse

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’ve eaten loads of chocolate today and want more

The mortal sin of chocolate.

It is prevalent and insidious.

It can only be assuaged by sticking cheese in your foof and laying down near a mouse hole

WTF

you get worse

Question not the word of the divine.

Does it smell a bit marmitey route here all of a sudden?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sister,

It's been 51 years since my last confession ...

Last night I had passionate sex with a hot brunette who kept thrusting her boobs into my face.

This isn't a confession, I'm just telling everyone!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister,

It's been 51 years since my last confession ...

Last night I had passionate sex with a hot brunette who kept thrusting her boobs into my face.

This isn't a confession, I'm just telling everyone!

The sin of boastfulness?

Which fuels envy. A despicable transgression indeed!

Wicked unrepentant sinner.

A few naked hours in my basement will cure that. Report for processing this very evening.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Sister Jennie I've have confess even tho been a man of the cloth.

although you regard Me as a heathen .as with my camel toes stament I was cast out by you I sometimes can't help but say what

I think .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd confess, but the preists a bigger sinner

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I confess to going on a walk with someone recently and hoping from the very beginning he'd take me home to his bed and ravish me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sister,

It's been 51 years since my last confession ...

Last night I had passionate sex with a hot brunette who kept thrusting her boobs into my face.

This isn't a confession, I'm just telling everyone!

The sin of boastfulness?

Which fuels envy. A despicable transgression indeed!

Wicked unrepentant sinner.

A few naked hours in my basement will cure that. Report for processing this very evening."

Did I mention I was an atheist?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister,

It's been 51 years since my last confession ...

Last night I had passionate sex with a hot brunette who kept thrusting her boobs into my face.

This isn't a confession, I'm just telling everyone!

The sin of boastfulness?

Which fuels envy. A despicable transgression indeed!

Wicked unrepentant sinner.

A few naked hours in my basement will cure that. Report for processing this very evening.

Did I mention I was an atheist?

IS"

That adds an hour to the time in the basement, suffering as Sister Jennie flicks hot wax from the sacramental candles at yer nipples

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'd confess, but the preists a bigger sinner

Let he who is without sin cast the first bone.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I confess I'm slightly tipsy on a work night

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I confess to going on a walk with someone recently and hoping from the very beginning he'd take me home to his bed and ravish me.

Ravishment is an open invitation for the forces of evil to feast upon your soul. I hope for the sake of your purity, that said ravishing did not occur.

But.

If it did have you got any action photos?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"I confess I'm slightly tipsy on a work night"

Do saints go on work outing

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sister,

It's been 51 years since my last confession ...

Last night I had passionate sex with a hot brunette who kept thrusting her boobs into my face.

This isn't a confession, I'm just telling everyone!

The sin of boastfulness?

Which fuels envy. A despicable transgression indeed!

Wicked unrepentant sinner.

A few naked hours in my basement will cure that. Report for processing this very evening.

Did I mention I was an atheist?

That adds an hour to the time in the basement, suffering as Sister Jennie flicks hot wax from the sacramental candles at yer nipples"

Nipples are good

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I confess I'm slightly tipsy on a work night"

Saint Wonko.

You are forgiven. The pressures you bear, being an example to us all must exhaust you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Be Jesus god works in mysterious

Way indeed if wonko has reached

That level of grace .

They hope for us all ."

We're all going straight to hell

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister,

It's been 51 years since my last confession ...

Last night I had passionate sex with a hot brunette who kept thrusting her boobs into my face.

This isn't a confession, I'm just telling everyone!

The sin of boastfulness?

Which fuels envy. A despicable transgression indeed!

Wicked unrepentant sinner.

A few naked hours in my basement will cure that. Report for processing this very evening.

Did I mention I was an atheist?

That adds an hour to the time in the basement, suffering as Sister Jennie flicks hot wax from the sacramental candles at yer nipples

Nipples are good

IS"

Praise be!

A sinner joyfully welcoming their penance!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sister,

It's been 51 years since my last confession ...

Last night I had passionate sex with a hot brunette who kept thrusting her boobs into my face.

This isn't a confession, I'm just telling everyone!

The sin of boastfulness?

Which fuels envy. A despicable transgression indeed!

Wicked unrepentant sinner.

A few naked hours in my basement will cure that. Report for processing this very evening.

Did I mention I was an atheist?

That adds an hour to the time in the basement, suffering as Sister Jennie flicks hot wax from the sacramental candles at yer nipples

Nipples are good

Praise be!

A sinner joyfully welcoming their penance!"

Mmmm nipples

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I may have been leading the ordained astray...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ealthy_and_HungMan over a year ago

Princes Risborough, Luasanne, Alderney

i got biscuit crumbs in the bed

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

I must have been asleep

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

Does this count as confession or

More a promise or temptation

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

Well, as a witch, that is in the job description, surely?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

Well, as a witch, that is in the job description, surely?"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

Does this count as confession or

More a promise or temptation

Suffer not the witch to distract thee?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

I must have been asleep

The sleep of the righteous

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

I must have been asleep

The sleep of the righteous"

The sleep of the boring fat bastard

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

Does this count as confession or

More a promise or temptation

Suffer not the witch to distract

thee?"

But sister Jennie she said she may

Lead the ordained astray is it not

Our duty to challenge this and lead sinner back to the path of the church

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

Does this count as confession or

More a promise or temptation

Suffer not the witch to distract

thee?

But sister Jennie she said she may

Lead the ordained astray is it not

Our duty to challenge this and lead sinner back to the path of the church "

Trust me, that one's a lost cause

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

I must have been asleep

The sleep of the righteous

The sleep of the boring fat bastard "

The righteous boring fat bastard.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I may have been leading the ordained astray...

I must have been asleep

The sleep of the righteous

The sleep of the boring fat bastard "

At least it's not the asleeple of the sheeple

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I have fallen for someone

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think I have fallen for someone

Resist the sweet temptation. Be strong, be pure.

Unless its me you have fallen for ... in which case ...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I have fallen for someone

Slap your face twice then go to sleep

You will be overdue him in the morning

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think I have fallen for someone

Slap your face twice then go to sleep

You will be overdue him in the morning "

Wise words from Wonko the living saint

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have no soul and no sins

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I have fallen for someone

Slap your face twice then go to sleep

You will be overdue him in the morning

Wise words from Wonko the living saint"

Lol..

if only it was that simple...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have no soul and no sins

Soul less?

Hard to believe.

Sin less? Impossible to believe. Deny your sins at your peril.

Reoent before it is too late.

Of course if you truly are without sin, I can fit you in tomorrow afternoon at a discounted rate, to get you kitted out with a few

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Jennie I ate my messy kebab meat and chips covered in sauce in the hotels white bed...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Jennie I ate my messy kebab meat and chips covered in sauce in the hotels white bed...

Purity of soul starts with purity of body. To fill is with such filth is a direct route to the Devil's clutches.

The cleansing power of The Enema of Saint Lorna will purge you of such evil.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Good morning sister Jennie

I see you've had some success

Helping the waywood with their

Confession .hope there is equal

Attendance at other services put

On by yourself .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jenny... I (Shay) fucked my husband's best friend, and his wife, neither have any idea if their escapades

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yronMan over a year ago

grangemouth

"Sister Jennie Talia of the Order of the Sacred FAF is opening the confessional. Unburden your souls you poor misguided sinners. Seek absolution. Confess for the sake of your eternal souls!"

Jennie, I once took both shampoo AND conditioner into the shower.

You can imagine my shame.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

Jennie I've been too tired/busy/ill to Veet my back recently. I am currently Chewbacca.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Jennie I've been too tired/busy/ill to Veet my back recently. I am currently Chewbacca.

You must be a contortionist to be able to do that yourself

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Sister Jennie has had to step out

Due to a dicky tummy I think its

Called so is stuck in the church loo

At the moment

But those wishing to have immediate absolution

Can come across to our church if you cant wait. Father Richard

On secondment from another parish .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

A public notice

Evening song has brought forward

Its had to be perminatly moved

To 4.30 .in the afternoon

Because of the doggers in the grave

Yard . incase anyone want to attend

Those services.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mily36CWoman over a year ago

. (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes "

... are you cheating on me with someone else with jaffa cakes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Jenny... I (Shay) fucked my husband's best friend, and his wife, neither have any idea if their escapades "

I would venture that you cannot have been that good if neither were aware.

Regardless, this lustful confession saddens me. Your soul is lost forever unless you rub Father Zebedee's chilli lotion into your offending member. This may prove a technically difficult procedure, to I am happy to help with the rubbing

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Jennie I've been too tired/busy/ill to Veet my back recently. I am currently Chewbacca.

I shall send the _hoir across with wax strips... that will sort you out, you hairy heathen.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eliWoman over a year ago

Sister Jennie, I'm afraid to say I've sinned awfully this past weekend. I've had lustful thoughts. Acted on some of that lust with a devilish glee that will probably see me be blown about by a wild storm in the circle of hell where all sinners like me go.

Is there any salvation for the remnants of my soul or shall I bid it a fond farewell in an orgy?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Welcome sister normal service

Can be resumed.

Hope the dicky tummy gone now .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie Talia of the Order of the Sacred FAF is opening the confessional. Unburden your souls you poor misguided sinners. Seek absolution. Confess for the sake of your eternal souls!

Jennie, I once took both shampoo AND conditioner into the shower.

You can imagine my shame. "

This confession is head and shoulders above many i have heard recently. Did you think you could easily cleanse your soul and just leave? Just wash and go? I shall pray for your forgiveness, because you're worth it!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Jennie I've been too tired/busy/ill to Veet my back recently. I am currently Chewbacca.

You must be a contortionist to be able to do that yourself

The path to salvation is twisted and meandering it is contorted in it's progress.

Amen

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I confess I told my mum I couldn't visit her today because of dodgy food from last night, when really it was a hangover..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *carlet_woman_xxWoman over a year ago

somewhere

Sister Jennie

I was sat having dinner with grandson and son last night. Made a roast and had the usual veg including sprouts. You know what comes next. The most horrible smell escaped from my bum hole. Grandson immediately gagged. I blamed it on him. I'm a horrible person. Blamed the cat twice too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie, I'm afraid to say I've sinned awfully this past weekend. I've had lustful thoughts. Acted on some of that lust with a devilish glee that will probably see me be blown about by a wild storm in the circle of hell where all sinners like me go.

Is there any salvation for the remnants of my soul or shall I bid it a fond farewell in an orgy? "

I shall bring some friends along, and we can meet up in the vestry. I like the sound of this bidding farewell to your soul.

Praise Be!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Dear sister jennie

I have to confess I have a crush on someone who loves jaffa cakes

My mind says no but my heart says yes

... are you cheating on me with someone else with jaffa cakes

Jaffa Cakes, food from heaven.

All hail the cakes of jaffa.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Welcome sister normal service

Can be resumed.

Hope the dicky tummy gone now ."

He was big, but his dick didn't quite reach my tummy!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rinny4321Couple over a year ago

LISBURN

Sister Jennie

I keep my kids in aftershools longer so I get an hour to myself in the evenings after work.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I would like to thank Father Richard for his efforts in tending my wayward flock. But I am back now.

(So get your heathen hands of my congregation before I smite thee)

Hallelujah

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By *hekaiserMan over a year ago

Glasgow

I want to fuck my mates younger sister ...also want to get back with my ex...only because I want to squeeze her massive tits as she sucks me off

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

In gone evensong is starting now

Did you fogets its because of the doging it was on the notice bord.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I confess I told my mum I couldn't visit her today because of dodgy food from last night, when really it was a hangover.."

Use this time, time you have stolen from your blessed mother, to reflect on and contemplate your sin. Both the sin of imbibing and the sinful neglect of your parent. Any repeat of such infamy will result in an afternoon of flagellation.

Wicked child.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I can only think that the thrice beshitten butt plug of Saint Effluentia should be employed to control your satanic ejections!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sister Jennie

I keep my kids in aftershools longer so I get an hour to myself in the evenings after work."

An hour which you no doubt spend in silent meditation and worship of the great FAF. You are an example to us all!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I want to fuck my mates younger sister ...also want to get back with my ex...only because I want to squeeze her massive tits as she sucks me off"

Well, my child, temptation can be easily avoided with the knowledge that your ex is now noshing off Derek, the landlord of the Fawcett Inn. Her massive tits and filthy mouth need never sully your purity again. FAF works in mysterious ways indeed.

As for your mates sister. A sin in thought is still sin. In any case Derek is doing her too, so you have no chance.

Sing some hymns till the urge passes.

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By *hekaiserMan over a year ago

Glasgow

"I want to fuck my mates younger sister ...also want to get back with my ex...only because I want to squeeze her massive tits as she sucks me off

As for your mates sister. A sin in thought is still sin. In any case Derek is doing her too, so you have no chance.

Sing some hymns till the urge passes. "

Derek is a lucky fuck

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