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Am I anti social?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sometimes, OK, a lot of the time, I really don't feel like attending the social events I have planned.
Like this evening, I've got plans to meet friends for drinks and I just don't feel like going. I've been excited and looking forward to it, up until a few hours ago and now all I want to do is stay home and chill with my cat.
This happens a lot. Is there something wrong with me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably not. The last two years have created a certain amount of reluctance to leave the house in a huge amount of the population. It's hardly surprising given that amount of conditioning that some of it has stuck. |
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"Sometimes, OK, a lot of the time, I really don't feel like attending the social events I have planned.
Like this evening, I've got plans to meet friends for drinks and I just don't feel like going. I've been excited and looking forward to it, up
until a few hours ago and now all I
want to do is stay home and chill
with my cat.
This happens a lot. Is there
something wrong with me? "
Well I would have thought you
would be too busy to be going out
With your friends never mind staying in with your cat .you've a lot of people on your other thread waiting for their shopping you promised to get for us all. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
Maybe, maybe not. Depends on lots of things. Wrong may be not the correct term though. Nothing wrong with you.
I'm not an overly social person, I'm very selective in who, when, and how long I open myself up for. Sometimes that vibe fades but I do have social anxiety and am Introverted.
If it happens often it's worth chatting to your doctor about, it could be a sign/symptom of something else just as much as it can be your moho needs a bit of a kick start and normality returning to our lives. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I get like this. The thought of going out becomes overwhelming.
But once I’m out I’m usually alright. Until I’m not and I just want to get home and have a cup of tea.
I put it down to my age and my introvertedness.
You do you. But sometimes you have to push yourself and make the effort to step out of the comfort zone.
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Oh, this happens to me all the time so I’m assuming it’s normal. I am always so excited by my social plans but as they get closer I really don’t want to go. I usually still enjoy myself when I make myself go anyway. Go, drink and your cat will be waiting for you when you stagger back  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This was my tell tale sign that I was suffering depression
Doesn't mean that there's anything 'wrong' with you per say but it's something worth thinking about x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This was my tell tale sign that I was suffering depression
Doesn't mean that there's anything 'wrong' with you per say but it's something worth thinking about x"
That and/or social anxiety, I assume this is new. I've always been like that, but have always tried to push myself to go out anyway otherwise I sit at home being miserable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anti social no
Lazy yes"
Lazy might be descriptive of someone's overt behaviour, but as an explanation as to why someone acts a certain way it's utterly useless.
Unmotivated, lacking energy, anxious... there are lots of possible reasons. |
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Seams perfectly normal not wanting to go out .its cold why go
Out and mix with flesh and blood people who might be carrying the lurgie .after all your not on your own you have got a cat .unless you've actually given your word to
People that you will attend. You can always stay here and intice people. With your blk underwear
And promise of things from the shop . |
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Last weekend,due to meet a friend in Chester at 2pm for something to eat and a few drinks. At 12pm I was considering all sorts of excuses to get out of it.
Result, couldn’t think of any, went and had a great time.
Saturday my current partner, a few drinks in Manchester in the afternoon then back to hers for a home cooked meal ….and afters 
Too much to drink on Friday, really didn’t fancy going. I was yet again trying to think of an excuse (but she knew I’d gone out Friday so even harder to think of an excuse) so I wouldn’t have to go.
Result…I went and had a great time after initially getting over that tired feeling.
My advice…..think of great excuses, because I can’t |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s “normal” it can be emotionally draining thinking about the whole situation & by the time your night out has arrived you just haven’t got enough strength to see it through x |
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"Seams perfectly normal not wanting to go out .its cold why go
Out and mix with flesh and blood people who might be carrying the lurgie .after all your not on your own you have got a cat .unless you've actually given your word to
People that you will attend. You can always stay here and intice people. With your blk underwear
And promise of things from the shop ."
Agreed  I wouldn’t see anyone looking that good in my local  |
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Basically other people suck. They smell, they complain a lot and they have shit taste in music.
(This is hyperbole. People are hard work; sometimes you wont be in the mood for that work. Sometimes “sometimes” means “often”, too. It’s fine. Give yourself a little time to acknowledge what’s putting you off and pay *that* bit some attention, when you’re ready to. ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the replies all.
I'd be more motivated to go if it was meeting close friends, but it's a group of people and only one of them I'm close with. Most of the group will be more like casual acquaintances and I don't have the energy for making conversation.
I just want to socialise with people I know well.
I think that's what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes, OK, a lot of the time, I really don't feel like attending the social events I have planned.
Like this evening, I've got plans to meet friends for drinks and I just don't feel like going. I've been excited and looking forward to it, up until a few hours ago and now all I want to do is stay home and chill with my cat.
This happens a lot. Is there something wrong with me? "
Absolutely nothing wrong with you whatsoever. We can be exactly the same , but once one has made the effort to go it’s enjoyable |
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"I get the same feeling, after a days worth of cuntstomers at work I’ve had enough of human interaction  "
And they wonder...
Why you don't, go to the pub and talk to them.
Nothing wrong with time for yourself, it's healthy to re-group.
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I'm exactly the same, I'm fine though once I get there. The anxiety I get pre meeting people especially those I don't know well is through the roof. Sometimes I'll make it other times I don't. And yep I describe myself as a bit anti social. |
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"Thanks for the replies all.
I'd be more motivated to go if it was meeting close friends, but it's a group of people and only one of them I'm close with. Most of the group will be more like casual acquaintances and I don't have the energy for making conversation.
I just want to socialise with people I know well.
I think that's what it is. "
It's an age thing (well for me it is). I like the comfort of lounging on the setee. When I'm out, I'm a riot, but got to be up for it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im feeling like this.
Tomorrow supposed to be seeing a friend I haven't seen for a while.
After having crappy news yesterday I just want to hang out in my bed with the cats.
I will go as it will be good for me but it will be hard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah, not sure if this is the same reasoning you have, but since the pubs and clubs reopened after the lockdowns, I haven't really been bothered about going out. Went so long without going out, it's almost become second nature just to stay in and turn into a hermit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"...in fairness, if a cat told me to stay in with their eyes I'd be making some apologies to humans that were not cats.
 "
I've got a new pic if you'd like to see? Of my cat. |
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"Probably not. The last two years have created a certain amount of reluctance to leave the house in a huge amount of the population. It's hardly surprising given that amount of conditioning that some of it has stuck."
Agree |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
Nothing wrong with you but make yourself go as you will enjoy it and regret not going if you don't.
If it turns out rubbish, tell them you have a headache and leave early but that won't be the case. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Thanks for the replies all.
I'd be more motivated to go if it was meeting close friends, but it's a group of people and only one of them I'm close with. Most of the group will be more like casual acquaintances and I don't have the energy for making conversation.
I just want to socialise with people I know well.
I think that's what it is. "
This resonates with me - I guess we are looking for conversation that while not necessarily overly deep, at least being worthwhile. Conversation with people you do not know in an environment where you are not likely to get any depth, would make me feel like I don't want to go.
It is perfectly normal and yes, we live in strange times which probably does not help. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on what doing for me
Meeting for food or a pub quiz fine, meeting just for drinks not as much as don't drink and no fun in seeing group of people get d*unk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes, OK, a lot of the time, I really don't feel like attending the social events I have planned.
Like this evening, I've got plans to meet friends for drinks and I just don't feel like going. I've been excited and looking forward to it, up until a few hours ago and now all I want to do is stay home and chill with my cat.
This happens a lot. Is there something wrong with me? "
If it happens a lot there is a chance that eventually your friends won't even ask you but l fully understand where you're coming from , it is harder for a woman to get ready to go out , a guy takes a lot less, the hardest thing sometimes is getting ready to go out but it is easier to chill at home than go out . |
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By *al kalMan
over a year ago
london |
I think it’s a normal phase we all go though.
Depends on many things. Frantic week, fatigue the over excitement normalises. Realising you may want to get up early to sort some life admin on a Sat morning. Perhaps it’s your way of telling yourself you just want some me time (solitude not unsociable or loneliness).
We humans have about 70/80 thousand thoughts a day. So it’s ok to change your mind on a few of those. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's pretty normal, especially after a busy day. I guess it comes down to if you enjoy it or not when you finally go ahead and do what was planned. |
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