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Has Fab made you more...
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No more than when i was on dating sites tbh. At least people who send the FAF messages here are being honest about what they are looking for rather than drowning you with their BS about wanting a relationship then doing one when theyve gotten what they wanted. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think so but it has made me wonder if the people sitting close to me on public transport (would) send good or bad messages  "
 I don't think I'd risk it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No more than when i was on dating sites tbh. At least people who send the FAF messages here are being honest about what they are looking for rather than drowning you with their BS about wanting a relationship then doing one when theyve gotten what they wanted. X"
I've barely met anyone from dating sites. I have seen others say that elsewhere. Interesting! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The forums have yep. "
The forums? Hmm. I'd say the 1:1 interactions I've had have here made me WAY more cynical and jaded to the point I've given up. But the forums give me life. Why do they have such a negative effect on you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The forums have yep.
The forums? Hmm. I'd say the 1:1 interactions I've had have here made me WAY more cynical and jaded to the point I've given up. But the forums give me life. Why do they have such a negative effect on you?"
To be fair, as a woman I would imagine that it’s far more exhausting interacting 1:1.
The forums are great but sometimes the opinions can be a bit depressing and confirm the shit things I feel about people. I just stay clear of serious things these days though I’m not even all that good at that. (I’m sure my opinions have the same effect on others by the way I’m not pretending that not to be the case) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"cynical and jaded? "
In a way. I think I’m less naive though and less of a people pleaser than I was before. I can see through peoples shit and notice red flags more easily.
I’m less likely to settle or make do. My own pleasure is now my priority. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Absolutely not…I think some people make FAB hard work when really it’s just a tool to people connect with people…another avenue.
If FAB made me cynical or feeling negative I’d stop using it.
K"
Yes, I have stopped using it in terms of meeting people (other than socials). I'm just here for the forum and friends. How do you think I am making it hard work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think so but it has made me wonder if the people sitting close to me on public transport (would) send good or bad messages
I don't think I'd risk it!"
Sitting on the District Line tube one morning and a guy opened his laptop to the porn that was playing on an open tab. WITH sound effects was a worse experience. Not for me though haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The forums have yep.
The forums? Hmm. I'd say the 1:1 interactions I've had have here made me WAY more cynical and jaded to the point I've given up. But the forums give me life. Why do they have such a negative effect on you?
To be fair, as a woman I would imagine that it’s far more exhausting interacting 1:1.
The forums are great but sometimes the opinions can be a bit depressing and confirm the shit things I feel about people. I just stay clear of serious things these days though I’m not even all that good at that. (I’m sure my opinions have the same effect on others by the way I’m not pretending that not to be the case)"
I definitely sense that you want to bring positivity with your threads. I didn't realise it was because you feel negativity about many things.  Yes I do find messages pretty exhausting, so I just keep my inbox locked down pretty tight. |
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Life has left me jaded and fab has left me cynical. I always used to give people the benefit of the doubt but the more I see how some people treat others for their own benefit the louder my spidey senses tingle. It's good though because it allows me to be more clinical in removing people from my life and as such leaves for a more enjoyable fab experience. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
No, it hasn't in the slightest. I'm less naive than I was but admittedly I did join when I was 21 so rather young. That's not to say I've not seen the less than pleasant side of people, I have. Even on the fora. At times I've taken extended breaks. Cried over behaviour directed towards me.
But, I've also seen the good. The kindness in people with no ulterior motive. The helping hand offered to those who need it. The good natured joking, the very real friendships that can blossom from here. The comfort people can provide, even on a "sex site". It's helped me realise that I'm deserving of love (in no small part down to my fiancé who I met courtesy of the site) and actually not quite as odd and unlikeable as I thought I was.
So yes, it's not a perfect microcosm of Utopia but my faith and hope in humanity, if anything, has increased thanks to Fab. |
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Definitely not. If anything it has smoothed away some of my hard edges. You meet & talk to so many different people, learn about them , their likes & why and sometimes their lives.
Nothing is black and white, more grey come colourful, just take the time to talk, listen & understand. Plus leave the past behind and don’t tar all with the same damaged brush. |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
Somewhat, when friends unfriend, or people block for no clear reason. But that's probably mostly because I'll no longer be able to perv on them properly. Getting better at managing the disappointment though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The forums have yep.
The forums? Hmm. I'd say the 1:1 interactions I've had have here made me WAY more cynical and jaded to the point I've given up. But the forums give me life. Why do they have such a negative effect on you?
To be fair, as a woman I would imagine that it’s far more exhausting interacting 1:1.
The forums are great but sometimes the opinions can be a bit depressing and confirm the shit things I feel about people. I just stay clear of serious things these days though I’m not even all that good at that. (I’m sure my opinions have the same effect on others by the way I’m not pretending that not to be the case)
I definitely sense that you want to bring positivity with your threads. I didn't realise it was because you feel negativity about many things. Yes I do find messages pretty exhausting, so I just keep my inbox locked down pretty tight. "
I know you do. I’ve noticed.  .
Aww you notice my threads, what do you like me or something?  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Definitely not. If anything it has smoothed away some of my hard edges. You meet & talk to so many different people, learn about them , their likes & why and sometimes their lives.
Nothing is black and white, more grey come colourful, just take the time to talk, listen & understand. Plus leave the past behind and don’t tar all with the same damaged brush. "
This is lovely Shortie! Very much how I feel. |
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"Absolutely not…I think some people make FAB hard work when really it’s just a tool to people connect with people…another avenue.
If FAB made me cynical or feeling negative I’d stop using it.
K
Yes, I have stopped using it in terms of meeting people (other than socials). I'm just here for the forum and friends. How do you think I am making it hard work? "
I didn’t say you were making it hard work - I said some people do
I personally don’t use the forums as much as I did as I don’t feel the energy. Some people seem to want to use it negatively and there’s been some activity which I’d rather just walk away from 
K |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Life has left me jaded and fab has left me cynical. I always used to give people the benefit of the doubt but the more I see how some people treat others for their own benefit the louder my spidey senses tingle. It's good though because it allows me to be more clinical in removing people from my life and as such leaves for a more enjoyable fab experience. "
So you've come to terms with being more cynical? Or something you'd rather not be? |
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"Life has left me jaded and fab has left me cynical. I always used to give people the benefit of the doubt but the more I see how some people treat others for their own benefit the louder my spidey senses tingle. It's good though because it allows me to be more clinical in removing people from my life and as such leaves for a more enjoyable fab experience.
So you've come to terms with being more cynical? Or something you'd rather not be?"
I embrace it now because it prevents me from being a doormat. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No, it hasn't in the slightest. I'm less naive than I was but admittedly I did join when I was 21 so rather young. That's not to say I've not seen the less than pleasant side of people, I have. Even on the fora. At times I've taken extended breaks. Cried over behaviour directed towards me.
But, I've also seen the good. The kindness in people with no ulterior motive. The helping hand offered to those who need it. The good natured joking, the very real friendships that can blossom from here. The comfort people can provide, even on a "sex site". It's helped me realise that I'm deserving of love (in no small part down to my fiancé who I met courtesy of the site) and actually not quite as odd and unlikeable as I thought I was.
So yes, it's not a perfect microcosm of Utopia but my faith and hope in humanity, if anything, has increased thanks to Fab."
I'm very glad that it's been such a positive experience for you, Meli. Almost the complete opposite of my experience. But the answers here indicate that I am the outlier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab has brought me far more than it’s taken, and I’d never change it, but I’m definitely cynical at the moment.
It’ll change though, we all go through cycles I think. |
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No not at all! I can honestly say I've enjoyed my fabs experience so far and been here near on 4 years! Come across a few knobs along the way in more ways than one lol! But not fazed me at all! I call it the knob filter! And learnt so much as well think I was a bit green to start! But yes love it here very much so! Met some lovely peeps and hope to meet more x x  |
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For me (her) I was very naive 6 years ago when I first joined.
Now I see fab as an occasional distraction from real life and tend not to spend as much time on here, although I go through bursts of posting in the forums.
I wouldn't say I'm jaded by it. I'm just more careful with who I'll meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Life has left me jaded and fab has left me cynical. I always used to give people the benefit of the doubt but the more I see how some people treat others for their own benefit the louder my spidey senses tingle. It's good though because it allows me to be more clinical in removing people from my life and as such leaves for a more enjoyable fab experience.
So you've come to terms with being more cynical? Or something you'd rather not be?
I embrace it now because it prevents me from being a doormat. "
That is certainly a positive. I'd prefer to be a non-doormat who isn't cynical  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No.
I find fab’ a fun distraction from the troubles of everyday life. I avoid the stuff that would leave me feeling cynical if possible.
I have regular ‘unplugging’ too, to prevent that jaded feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I became more cynical when I realised how widespread certain views and behaviours are in the forums, but that isn't fab, that's just the mood of the country outside London.
So no, not really any more than I already was. |
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No, not really. I've always understood the fickle and sometimes unpleasant nature of the faceless people of the Internet/social media. So I've just always done my own thing and not really worried about the actions of others. After all it's hard to be disappointed if you dont expect too much of the site and just look to yourself for great things. This just a tool to pass the time, share information and make opportunities. And on the positive side I've met some great people over the years off here, often going onto meet in the physical world. Some great experiences, flings and freindships. But most importantly I found My Girl on here, see was made for me. So Fab has come up Trumps really. |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
Definitely not. I've enjoyed my time on fab.. obviously there are some good points being on here and also bad points.. both which I already have experienced but like everything else, you are bound to experience both at some point really but overall, it's been great really. I've meet and got to know some great people on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A degree of healthy cynicism is vital on here
When does if become unhealthy?
When it crosses the line into being bitter and overly focused on all the negative aspects "
Hmm. Don't think I'm bitter, I just don't see the point of trying to meet anymore. |
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"A degree of healthy cynicism is vital on here
When does if become unhealthy?
When it crosses the line into being bitter and overly focused on all the negative aspects
Hmm. Don't think I'm bitter, I just don't see the point of trying to meet anymore. "
Which is absolutely fine if you're really okay with that |
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It could, I suppose. Like any social media type... thingy.
If it feels like it might, I just go do something else. I'm probably pretty guilty of not paying attention enough to get too deep around here, though.
In my defense: there are a lot of distracting dongs here.  |
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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago
The Borough of St Peter |
I don't think I've learned anything I didn't know. I came on here in a flush of post-weightloss confidence and soon found that confidence wasn't enough and it's as cynical place as anywhere really. The big fish eat the little fish and round we go again. I have made some friends though, and for that I'm grateful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It could, I suppose. Like any social media type... thingy.
If it feels like it might, I just go do something else. I'm probably pretty guilty of not paying attention enough to get too deep around here, though.
In my defense: there are a lot of distracting dongs here. "
I find that too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think I'm already like that... Just confirmed a lot of things I already thought!
It has given me more confidence though, so that's a good thing!"
Actually, me too. Yes that is a good thing! |
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It's made me far more thick skinned as I realise just how many unfriendly people are about and how many are so far up themselves they don't even realise it. However I have chatted with a few decent people here, written a few nice stories for them and I've learnt not to give a fuck because there are more important things in life. The block button is my friend. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's made me far more thick skinned as I realise just how many unfriendly people are about and how many are so far up themselves they don't even realise it. However I have chatted with a few decent people here, written a few nice stories for them and I've learnt not to give a fuck because there are more important things in life. The block button is my friend."
Thick skinned is a necessity here but not grown overnight! |
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