FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Discretion
Discretion
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Is Discretion a dying art form?"
Not according to the woman I was queuing behind at the tills at Asda this morning, who was discussing the exact question with the checkout chick serving her because apparently someone at the local swingers club she went to last night had claimed that people there were being really indiscreet and talking about the guy who owns the local bakery and how much he likes shoving warm baguettes up his chuff whilst knocking one out into a cream horn.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In our experience discretion is a big part of the swinging world.
You would think it would be the same for others x"
I'm telling nobody what I'm upto. The looks of disdain when I mentioned it to one person where enough to tell me to stay quiet x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andSCouple
over a year ago
PDI for now |
"In our experience discretion is a big part of the swinging world.
You would think it would be the same for others x"
You would think and hope so. We haven't come across someone who isn't discrete so far.
Perhaps we've just been lucky, or perhaps how we conduct ourselves is a big part of how others treat us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is Discretion a dying art form?
Not according to the woman I was queuing behind at the tills at Asda this morning, who was discussing the exact question with the checkout chick serving her because apparently someone at the local swingers club she went to last night had claimed that people there were being really indiscreet and talking about the guy who owns the local bakery and how much he likes shoving warm baguettes up his chuff whilst knocking one out into a cream horn.
A"
You'd never get that in Waitrose. 
Winston |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is Discretion a dying art form?"
Better part of valour i thought....sparkles nice to see you again lol.
Discretion has never been a problem for me....being and receiving |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In our experience discretion is a big part of the swinging world.
You would think it would be the same for others x"
Has been so far with everyone we've encountered even when people we know from day to day life have seen us at a club...not a word spoken in the outside world. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In our experience discretion is a big part of the swinging world.
You would think it would be the same for others x
Has been so far with everyone we've encountered even when people we know from day to day life have seen us at a club...not a word spoken in the outside world."
Exactly the way it should be too....we are all adults (allegedly) here!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In our experience discretion is a big part of the swinging world.
You would think it would be the same for others x
Has been so far with everyone we've encountered even when people we know from day to day life have seen us at a club...not a word spoken in the outside world."
Must admit I've never mentioned names as to whom I've met...can't say though if those guys have done the same x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I know this is slightly off topic but discretion to me always feels like it means secretive. Like something is shameful or deceptive. This could just be though because of how many request discretion because they're worried about a partner finding out. I prefer to say respecting others right to privacy. I'm surprised so many have so many issues as outing is a straight ban in many clubs but then I guess things might be different among people who only meet in private. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"People talk. Assuming otherwise is naïve."
Exactly this. Never assume just because you may not talk about those you met that others don't .So only give out info that you don't mind being out in public.I learnt that fast on here that a lot are not discreet at all which is a pity. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most people don't even know the difference between "discreet" and "discrete". "
Discreet and discrete are homophones. They sound the same but they have different definitions.
Discreet means careful or intentionally unobtrusive.
Discrete means distinct or unconnected.
For those that don't.....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most people don't even know the difference between "discreet" and "discrete".
Discreet and discrete are homophones. They sound the same but they have different definitions.
Discreet means careful or intentionally unobtrusive.
Discrete means distinct or unconnected.
For those that don't..... "
i dont know what those other 4 words are so thats me fucked  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most people don't even know the difference between "discreet" and "discrete".
Discreet and discrete are homophones. They sound the same but they have different definitions.
Discreet means careful or intentionally unobtrusive.
Discrete means distinct or unconnected.
For those that don't..... i dont know what those other 4 words are so thats me fucked "
Google is your friend |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most people don't even know the difference between "discreet" and "discrete".
Discreet and discrete are homophones. They sound the same but they have different definitions.
Discreet means careful or intentionally unobtrusive.
Discrete means distinct or unconnected.
For those that don't..... i dont know what those other 4 words are so thats me fucked
Google is your friend "
i have no friends  waaaaa waaaa |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is Discretion a dying art form?
Not according to the woman I was queuing behind at the tills at Asda this morning, who was discussing the exact question with the checkout chick serving her because apparently someone at the local swingers club she went to last night had claimed that people there were being really indiscreet and talking about the guy who owns the local bakery and how much he likes shoving warm baguettes up his chuff whilst knocking one out into a cream horn.
A
You'd never get that in Waitrose.
Winston"
I’ll pass on the cream horns I think  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most people don't even know the difference between "discreet" and "discrete".
At least it isn't being mixed up with excrete
That's a whole other topic
"Is excretion a dying art form?" "
It's shit if it is.......
Winston |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I think it sometimes is on here
The amount of people that have had to start threads about people approaching them away from here .
Plus I get where do you live /work quite regularly or are u so and so who works at xyz. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There is an audience on here for indiscretion with some people using their ability to tell other people's stories as their USP. It must work for them as their entire social circle has changed beyond recognition. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is an audience on here for indiscretion with some people using their ability to tell other people's stories as their USP. It must work for them as their entire social circle has changed beyond recognition. "
Yep, and not sure which is the saddest, those spreading the shit or those stupid enough to believe what they hear lol... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is an audience on here for indiscretion with some people using their ability to tell other people's stories as their USP. It must work for them as their entire social circle has changed beyond recognition.
Yep, and not sure which is the saddest, those spreading the shit or those stupid enough to believe what they hear lol..."
I'd say 50/50 x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I am as discrete as I need to be.
I will happily discuss my life on here but omit identifying features such as names etc.
I will, talk theoretically, based on others experiences...again omitting important facts.
I do the same when talking to other swingers, which is somewhere that others fall down a bit.
Inside the darkened enclave of this site, or a club etc, some think its OK to chat about those they have met. I have been party to such conversations and felt a little uncomfortable.
I assume its not my place to share other peeps sexual or personal details so keep any chat fairly anonymous.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is an audience on here for indiscretion with some people using their ability to tell other people's stories as their USP. It must work for them as their entire social circle has changed beyond recognition.
Yep, and not sure which is the saddest, those spreading the shit or those stupid enough to believe what they hear lol..."
Unfortunately some of what I have witnessed people share at group socials is actually true such as the real names of other fabbers who aren't at the event. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is an audience on here for indiscretion with some people using their ability to tell other people's stories as their USP. It must work for them as their entire social circle has changed beyond recognition.
Yep, and not sure which is the saddest, those spreading the shit or those stupid enough to believe what they hear lol...
Unfortunately some of what I have witnessed people share at group socials is actually true such as the real names of other fabbers who aren't at the event. "
That is disgusting |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is an audience on here for indiscretion with some people using their ability to tell other people's stories as their USP. It must work for them as their entire social circle has changed beyond recognition.
Yep, and not sure which is the saddest, those spreading the shit or those stupid enough to believe what they hear lol...
Unfortunately some of what I have witnessed people share at group socials is actually true such as the real names of other fabbers who aren't at the event. "
And what happens behind the scenes on group chats. But I guess you will get gossip mongers everywhere so its not surprising that they are alive and well on here x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is an audience on here for indiscretion with some people using their ability to tell other people's stories as their USP. It must work for them as their entire social circle has changed beyond recognition.
Yep, and not sure which is the saddest, those spreading the shit or those stupid enough to believe what they hear lol...
Unfortunately some of what I have witnessed people share at group socials is actually true such as the real names of other fabbers who aren't at the event.
That is disgusting "
I started a thread a few weeks ago about online security and people's inability to recognise the dangers of sharing certain things here in the forums.
I thought it ironic that some people who responded were guilty of sharing others info and even more ironic when shortly after there were a number of threads and comments about fabbers contacting them either on social media or knowing their names. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is Discretion a dying art form?"
I’d imagine it is. Esp for the younger generation(s) - seemingly everything’s on display on social media.
In some respects that’s a good thing as it breaks down barriers and avoids taboos (mental health for example). But in other respects It could be detrimental int he long term. Then again in the woke world anything seems to go so maybe it is no big deal.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them."
That's when it stops being fun and turns to shit. I keep out of that x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them."
This is why I asked the question. Seen it/heard it first hand x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’ve had someone who I’ve played with walk into my place of work, I’ve served them and they were totally discreet, only winking at me on the way out. My heart was racing, but I messaged them and thank them. Luckily it’s only happened that one occasion since I joined 4.5 years ago |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve had someone who I’ve played with walk into my place of work, I’ve served them and they were totally discreet, only winking at me on the way out. My heart was racing, but I messaged them and thank them. Luckily it’s only happened that one occasion since I joined 4.5 years ago "
I wouldn't even do that x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ay9971Man
over a year ago
Manchester/London |
"I think some people have to be discrete due to cultural reasons…..
They may be but maybe the people they meet aren't as discreet x"
100% correct OP and that’s why I like to vet my meets xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them.
This is why I asked the question. Seen it/heard it first hand x"
We had it right here in the forums a few years back. Some of the stories were hilarious. It was a proper case of Chinese whispers and sadly much of the bullshit that went around was sourced from people we considered friends.
Such is life. There's often little point in trying to explain what's true and what's horseshit to people you don't know and don't give a shit about in the first place.
It does make you wary of what you reveal to others in terms of your off-site life and how close you let people get online.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would suggest anyone who considers discretion an art form isn't discreet. You're either discreet or you're not - any art that comes into it requires twisting things to make a picture the artist calls art. As with all art, taste is highly subjective and almost certainly not appreciated by all.
Is being discreet dying out? Highly unlikely, my guess is that if you were able to take a sample of people from 1953 and another from today there would be roughly equal levels of gossips, attention seekers, drama queen's and other character traits associated with indiscretion in both groups. This is why films, books and plays from decades, centuries even millenia ago still capture our interest - because the human stories in them resonate with us now. Untold years may have passed and cultures changed dramatically but human nature remains pretty constant.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would suggest anyone who considers discretion an art form isn't discreet. You're either discreet or you're not - any art that comes into it requires twisting things to make a picture the artist calls art. As with all art, taste is highly subjective and almost certainly not appreciated by all.
Is being discreet dying out? Highly unlikely, my guess is that if you were able to take a sample of people from 1953 and another from today there would be roughly equal levels of gossips, attention seekers, drama queen's and other character traits associated with indiscretion in both groups. This is why films, books and plays from decades, centuries even millenia ago still capture our interest - because the human stories in them resonate with us now. Untold years may have passed and cultures changed dramatically but human nature remains pretty constant.
Mr"
Aye that too, well said |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc..."
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Are explicit verifications discreet or indiscreet..??
You can choose not to show verifications, you can't stop people talking x
So is publishing indiscreet and not doing so discreet..??"
If both parties leave a verification then obviously said parties are happy for them to be displayed so in that respect discretion doesn't come into it x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Maybe not like it use to be years ago. Read on a women’s profile earlier how people had been trying to find her on Facebook and stalk her there. Surely that shouldn’t happen. Lots like the swinging side to be a secret from there family and other friends |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one! "
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would suggest anyone who considers discretion an art form isn't discreet. You're either discreet or you're not - any art that comes into it requires twisting things to make a picture the artist calls art. As with all art, taste is highly subjective and almost certainly not appreciated by all.
Is being discreet dying out? Highly unlikely, my guess is that if you were able to take a sample of people from 1953 and another from today there would be roughly equal levels of gossips, attention seekers, drama queen's and other character traits associated with indiscretion in both groups. This is why films, books and plays from decades, centuries even millenia ago still capture our interest - because the human stories in them resonate with us now. Untold years may have passed and cultures changed dramatically but human nature remains pretty constant.
Mr"
The tendency to gossip
May not have changed…. But the scope of subjects has broadened as have the means for acquiring and disseminating said gossip. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know "
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though. "
That's my point...I've never mentioned anyone who I've met because like to be discreet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though.
That's my point...I've never mentioned anyone who I've met because like to be discreet."
Then by process of elimination its the men you've fucked!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though.
That's my point...I've never mentioned anyone who I've met because like to be discreet.
Then by process of elimination its the men you've fucked! "
I know. Hence why I asked about discretion....Why people feel the need to say anything is beyond me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though.
That's my point...I've never mentioned anyone who I've met because like to be discreet.
Then by process of elimination its the men you've fucked!
I know. Hence why I asked about discretion....Why people feel the need to say anything is beyond me."
Why is it beyond you? And surely, in the name of discretion, you should discuss it with them privately? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though.
That's my point...I've never mentioned anyone who I've met because like to be discreet.
Then by process of elimination its the men you've fucked!
I know. Hence why I asked about discretion....Why people feel the need to say anything is beyond me."
Sorry for you, Sparkles. Discretion should be a given (unless you both agree you want to tell others!), so hope you're not too upset if you feel a trust has been broken... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"BTW this isnt personal as I don't know if any of my previous meets have said anything.
I'm going by what I've heard/seen from others x"
Ah, good, pleased to hear that! Point about discretion being a given still stands though! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"BTW this isnt personal as I don't know if any of my previous meets have said anything.
I'm going by what I've heard/seen from others x"
Isn't that hearsay/gossip? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"BTW this isnt personal as I don't know if any of my previous meets have said anything.
I'm going by what I've heard/seen from others x
Isn't that hearsay/gossip?"
Not when you hear it from the horses mouth so to speak. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"BTW this isnt personal as I don't know if any of my previous meets have said anything.
I'm going by what I've heard/seen from others x"
I've chatted with people in the past who have claimed to be very private and very conscious of everything they do and say on here and yet they used their real names in chatgroups, told everyone in those groups what they did for a living and had status conversations with whoever they were shagging at the time. They also spoke in private about people they despised on the forums but at the same time went out of their way to meet men closely associated with those very same people. Apparently their definition of discretion was different to mine and very often games are afoot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would suggest anyone who considers discretion an art form isn't discreet. You're either discreet or you're not - any art that comes into it requires twisting things to make a picture the artist calls art. As with all art, taste is highly subjective and almost certainly not appreciated by all.
Is being discreet dying out? Highly unlikely, my guess is that if you were able to take a sample of people from 1953 and another from today there would be roughly equal levels of gossips, attention seekers, drama queen's and other character traits associated with indiscretion in both groups. This is why films, books and plays from decades, centuries even millenia ago still capture our interest - because the human stories in them resonate with us now. Untold years may have passed and cultures changed dramatically but human nature remains pretty constant.
Mr
The tendency to gossip
May not have changed…. But the scope of subjects has broadened as have the means for acquiring and disseminating said gossip. "
That doesn't make being discreet a dying art form. It simply gives indiscreet people more means. The number of people likely to take advantage hasn't changed.
I'm not convinced that there are more subjects to be indiscreet about - as above our behaviour hasn't changed drastically, we all only have 24 hours a day in which to behave in gossip worthy ways. While the internet has increased the potential spread of gossip, I'm not convinced it has that big an effect. When we all lived in the same small village and everyone knew everyone else, indiscretion meant your friends, neighbours, relatives and associates knowing everything about you. Online, certainly on here, any gossip is likely to be shared by a handful of people who barely know anything about you.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though.
That's my point...I've never mentioned anyone who I've met because like to be discreet.
Then by process of elimination its the men you've fucked!
I know. Hence why I asked about discretion....Why people feel the need to say anything is beyond me."
You don't need to say anything directly for people to know. I'm not saying this is the case but there's plenty of lamp post pissing on here and little forum comments that, whilst they may not be explicit, give away a lot of info. There's plenty of ways of getting a good idea about who has played with who without either party explicitly saying anything ...
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I would suggest anyone who considers discretion an art form isn't discreet. You're either discreet or you're not - any art that comes into it requires twisting things to make a picture the artist calls art. As with all art, taste is highly subjective and almost certainly not appreciated by all.
Is being discreet dying out? Highly unlikely, my guess is that if you were able to take a sample of people from 1953 and another from today there would be roughly equal levels of gossips, attention seekers, drama queen's and other character traits associated with indiscretion in both groups. This is why films, books and plays from decades, centuries even millenia ago still capture our interest - because the human stories in them resonate with us now. Untold years may have passed and cultures changed dramatically but human nature remains pretty constant.
Mr
The tendency to gossip
May not have changed…. But the scope of subjects has broadened as have the means for acquiring and disseminating said gossip.
That doesn't make being discreet a dying art form. It simply gives indiscreet people more means. The number of people likely to take advantage hasn't changed.
I'm not convinced that there are more subjects to be indiscreet about - as above our behaviour hasn't changed drastically, we all only have 24 hours a day in which to behave in gossip worthy ways. While the internet has increased the potential spread of gossip, I'm not convinced it has that big an effect. When we all lived in the same small village and everyone knew everyone else, indiscretion meant your friends, neighbours, relatives and associates knowing everything about you. Online, certainly on here, any gossip is likely to be shared by a handful of people who barely know anything about you.
Mr"
Gossip has always been currency and I'm always surprised at the "very discreet, no drama" people who hang out with the storytellers. Are they really naïve enough to think that they aren't part of the storyline elsewhere? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x
Could you perhaps elaborate..
Example...People talking to others about who others have met etc...
This is why I don’t display veris & prefer them not to leave one!
I've never shown my private ones, only social event ones that I've attended but it seems even without these veris...people still know
Fab is a small community- especially the forum users.
The only way they could know is if you or a previous partner has mentioned it, though.
That's my point...I've never mentioned anyone who I've met because like to be discreet.
Then by process of elimination its the men you've fucked!
I know. Hence why I asked about discretion....Why people feel the need to say anything is beyond me.
You don't need to say anything directly for people to know. I'm not saying this is the case but there's plenty of lamp post pissing on here and little forum comments that, whilst they may not be explicit, give away a lot of info. There's plenty of ways of getting a good idea about who has played with who without either party explicitly saying anything ...
Mr"
Exactly. Honestly, people really aren't quite how they imagine themselves to be when it comes to discretion. To be frank, I find quite a bit of the thread, with references to others etc slightly distasteful and relying on gossip and in the process, becoming a gossipmonger. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In what way?
As in not being discreet x"
Discreet is miss-understood on here. *just my opinion.
A lot of people take it as someone who wants to cheat on someone etc, (not everyone)
I see discretion as it should be, if someone is private, I wouldn’t talk about them, or spill the beans etc. I’ve seen lack of it in here and I’ve also seen a lot of respect also from some users in the past. It’s a big ‘ole mix of behaviour.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well I am because only my Fab friends know about me and Fab. That means I can’t go into the office on a Monday morning bragging about the night before.
It doesn’t stop me going into the office with a big smile on my face though. Lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them."
I’ve heard about a heck of a lot that goes on behind the scenes on here - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Not only the sharing of messages/gossip - but the ‘blacklistiing’ of other fabbers (ie one person telling multiple others to stay away) and total bullshit being shared so often that it becomes a ‘truth’. Any chat groups can be toxic - but many of the fab ones are particularly so from what I’ve heard. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them.
I’ve heard about a heck of a lot that goes on behind the scenes on here - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Not only the sharing of messages/gossip - but the ‘blacklistiing’ of other fabbers (ie one person telling multiple others to stay away) and total bullshit being shared so often that it becomes a ‘truth’. Any chat groups can be toxic - but many of the fab ones are particularly so from what I’ve heard. "
Yay, another thing I can use as an excuse for not getting laid. I'm fab blacklisted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately some people don't see being indiscreet as an issue. For me it's paramount with my line of work I wouldn't want people knowing what I do in my private life. I'm not ashamed of it by all means. But I'm also not going to be judged by what people don't understand & be shamed by ignorance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them.
I’ve heard about a heck of a lot that goes on behind the scenes on here - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Not only the sharing of messages/gossip - but the ‘blacklistiing’ of other fabbers (ie one person telling multiple others to stay away) and total bullshit being shared so often that it becomes a ‘truth’. Any chat groups can be toxic - but many of the fab ones are particularly so from what I’ve heard.
Yay, another thing I can use as an excuse for not getting laid. I'm fab blacklisted "
Yeah me too - what other reason could anyone possibly have for not meeting me?
One thing though before I leave for work - do people not think all this talk about being discrete about who they meet is a little at odds with the fab verification system?
Personally I have mixed feelings about sexual verifications - though I show some of them myself. Whilst I fully accept that a fab playmate I’m fond of will have sex with others - I don’t particularly want to know the intimate details. Perhaps that’s a conversation for another thread though - I may even surprise myself after work and actually start one! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them.
I’ve heard about a heck of a lot that goes on behind the scenes on here - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Not only the sharing of messages/gossip - but the ‘blacklistiing’ of other fabbers (ie one person telling multiple others to stay away) and total bullshit being shared so often that it becomes a ‘truth’. Any chat groups can be toxic - but many of the fab ones are particularly so from what I’ve heard.
Yay, another thing I can use as an excuse for not getting laid. I'm fab blacklisted
Yeah me too - what other reason could anyone possibly have for not meeting me?
One thing though before I leave for work - do people not think all this talk about being discrete about who they meet is a little at odds with the fab verification system?
Personally I have mixed feelings about sexual verifications - though I show some of them myself. Whilst I fully accept that a fab playmate I’m fond of will have sex with others - I don’t particularly want to know the intimate details. Perhaps that’s a conversation for another thread though - I may even surprise myself after work and actually start one! "
That would be an interesting one topic.
This is why I don't show any private verifications as its no-one else's business who I meet x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have actually heard of some serious lack of discretion in group chats with photos and screenshot of personal messages being passed around.
One reason I don't get involved in them.
I’ve heard about a heck of a lot that goes on behind the scenes on here - and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Not only the sharing of messages/gossip - but the ‘blacklistiing’ of other fabbers (ie one person telling multiple others to stay away) and total bullshit being shared so often that it becomes a ‘truth’. Any chat groups can be toxic - but many of the fab ones are particularly so from what I’ve heard.
Yay, another thing I can use as an excuse for not getting laid. I'm fab blacklisted
Yeah me too - what other reason could anyone possibly have for not meeting me?
One thing though before I leave for work - do people not think all this talk about being discrete about who they meet is a little at odds with the fab verification system?
Personally I have mixed feelings about sexual verifications - though I show some of them myself. Whilst I fully accept that a fab playmate I’m fond of will have sex with others - I don’t particularly want to know the intimate details. Perhaps that’s a conversation for another thread though - I may even surprise myself after work and actually start one! "
Right!? Exactly
Haha I don't know, if people really want discretion they can ask not to be verified or not display them I guess. I don't like explicit verifications so I say so and if I still recieved one I wouldn't display it and probably wouldn't meet that person again. I feel like if I'm likely to be bothered by things in verifications people I have met recieve from others then I'm probably best just not reading them.
When it comes to people knowing who I have met, it's not something I broadcast but also not something I'm bothered by people finding out. I go to clubs so people I know through clubs often know because they've seen .
Basically like many things I think it just comes down to communication. Different people have different comfort levels. Communicate how you want to approach things after meeting. Do you want verifications? Are you uncomfortable with verifications saying certain things? Do you want to avoid each other in the forums? If someone explicitly asks if they have met you, can they answer honestly? Tell people what you want. If they break that agreement they're an asshole. I think assuming there is a default way that is acceptable to approach the issue is a recipe for upset. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
