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Using the word "female"
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Do people genuinely use the word "female" in real life to talk about women?
I've seen it on Friday Night Dinner, with the dad asking his sons if they've got a female yet. But I thought this was ironic comedy.
Yet not for the first time we've had a random message on here telling us the female is stunning. I mean, it's accurate (yes, another look at me post!  ) but it's a bloody weird way of saying it 
What other strange expressions do people have when they contact you - in fab or real life?  |
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I always find it weird when people message and use my profile name 3 or 4 times in the message. Even if I'm talking face to face with someone I don't use their name unless I'm calling them from across the street. |
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In relation to the use of the word female is probably because like so many other terms there are lots of mixed messages as to what is acceptable and many people aren't sure what word to use.
Even on here lots of women don't like the use of female and then we click into another another thread or profile and find other women describing themselves as sexy females. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't usually see men described as "males" do we? Except in police reports. Without getting into gender politics, when someone says "the female" they actually mean "the woman". For me, that's making her less of a person and more of an object, so I only use "female" as an adjective. |
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I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oi! You there…..bird!
*runs n hides*
 
Aww... I miss being called "bird".
Reminds me of people from my yoof that does! 
Posh  "
I’m stuck in 90’s Rik Mayall. |
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"We don't usually see men described as "males" do we? Except in police reports. Without getting into gender politics, when someone says "the female" they actually mean "the woman". For me, that's making her less of a person and more of an object, so I only use "female" as an adjective."
This is spot on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In relation to the use of the word female is probably because like so many other terms there are lots of mixed messages as to what is acceptable and many people aren't sure what word to use.
Even on here lots of women don't like the use of female and then we click into another another thread or profile and find other women describing themselves as sexy females. "
This is my thinking.
Many are not sure what terms to use anymore, people take offence do easily at words rather than the intent they were used.
Personally I don't like the term female, especially on an adult site.
Woman or Lady is fine, in my opinion, as it's describing an adult human. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People that say females instead of women are usually walking red flags.
I loved Martin in spite of it though. Miss him. 
Seriously lol?!"
I mean, for me, female and women shouldn’t always be used interchangeably. But also mostly when I see people refer to women as females (in my experience) they tend to be misogynists amongst other things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Single male is probably the most commonly used term for men on here by women and couples.
I don’t see the problem with male or female. It just seems people look for things to offend them when no offence is intended. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Round here they’re maids, either young maids or old maids.
Skinny maids or fat maids.
Pretty maids or ugly maids
Short maids or tall maids.
"
I get all the maids, I get aaaallll the maids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People that say females instead of women are usually walking red flags.
I loved Martin in spite of it though. Miss him.
Seriously lol?!
I mean, for me, female and women shouldn’t always be used interchangeably. But also mostly when I see people refer to women as females (in my experience) they tend to be misogynists amongst other things. "
I've never seen anyone use "females" who didn't also show other misogynist attitudes. If I referred to men as males all the time - it seems very objectifying. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence. "
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People that say females instead of women are usually walking red flags.
I loved Martin in spite of it though. Miss him.
Seriously lol?!
I mean, for me, female and women shouldn’t always be used interchangeably. But also mostly when I see people refer to women as females (in my experience) they tend to be misogynists amongst other things.
I've never seen anyone use "females" who didn't also show other misogynist attitudes. If I referred to men as males all the time - it seems very objectifying. "
Yeah. I know you get what I meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose it's ok in the right context.
Single Male, Single Female for example, as realistically we're referring to their profiles.
But to use the term Male or Female otherwise feels a little odd. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things! "
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists. "
All those who describe themselves as SWF to start with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The kind of person that uses the word “female” constantly is the same kind of person that tells somebody in a hole in the ground in their basement to put lotion back into a lowered down basket. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists. "
I honestly don’t think any of them are misogynistic. That word is thrown about willy nilly these days. But yes if I did think they way I’d say the word lady was more sycophantic than the word female. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as it isn't hun or darling they can call me whatever they want.
so bitch cunt & whore are OK ? "
I’ve never been called bitch cunt. That’s a new one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists. "
I think it’s different when men and women use the term female in terms of effect.
Also I think that when women intentionally use the term when they mean ‘women’ it can be indicative of other things. |
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground."
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists. "
Can you at least accept that referring to a woman as a female can be perceived as reducing her to an object? |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me. "
You'd just use 'her'. |
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me.
You'd just use 'her'."
Naturally I wouldn’t. That just sounds rude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me.
You'd just use 'her'.
Naturally I wouldn’t. That just sounds rude "
I agree. I often tell my kids to say thank you to the lady in the shop. There’s nothing wrong with it at all. |
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me.
You'd just use 'her'.
Naturally I wouldn’t. That just sounds rude
I agree. I often tell my kids to say thank you to the lady in the shop. There’s nothing wrong with it at all."
Yeah I do too. I’d never say to them say thankyou to her or say Thankyou to the woman. To me that sounds impolite. Im intrigued now how most people would say it. Might do a thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me.
You'd just use 'her'.
Naturally I wouldn’t. That just sounds rude
I agree. I often tell my kids to say thank you to the lady in the shop. There’s nothing wrong with it at all.
Yeah I do too. I’d never say to them say thankyou to her or say Thankyou to the woman. To me that sounds impolite. Im intrigued now how most people would say it. Might do a thread "
I can’t imagine saying it any other way. |
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me.
You'd just use 'her'.
Naturally I wouldn’t. That just sounds rude
I agree. I often tell my kids to say thank you to the lady in the shop. There’s nothing wrong with it at all.
Yeah I do too. I’d never say to them say thankyou to her or say Thankyou to the woman. To me that sounds impolite. Im intrigued now how most people would say it. Might do a thread
I can’t imagine saying it any other way. "
Me neither! I’ve done a thread. I’m genuinely interested |
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By *yron69Man
over a year ago
Fareham |
I honestly believe this new strain of pronoun Puritanism hasn’t yet reached the local level. But peeps get crazy if you don’t conform.
Reminds me of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers when a human gets exposed and the pod people start screeching and pointing. |
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"Female" is an adjective.
It's a describing word.
So in certain circumstances such as SWF, it's part of a description, so fine.
Talking about the female half of the couple is fine. It's being used to describe which person you are talking about.
Referring to a person as a female is objectifying. Same as calling someone a black.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve seen ‘the female of the couple’ and ‘the male of the couple’ used a lot on here, I’d have assumed it was a shortening of that in the situation that the OP describes"
Exactly my thoughts. I don't see an issue, it's certainly a more accurate descriptor than "lady" in many cases.
Signed, the female half |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I’ve seen ‘the female of the couple’ and ‘the male of the couple’ used a lot on here, I’d have assumed it was a shortening of that in the situation that the OP describes"
Quite possibly. I just found it humourous and odd. Probably humourous because of watching Friday Night Dinner. It's not something I can imagine anyone saying in a serious way in real life. The message literally started "female is stunning". Surely no-one would sidle up to my husband in a club and say that. Or would they?  |
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Every person on here has a random set of ideas about which words are offensive and when - as has already been pointed out there is massive inconsistencies in the application of their logic.
I have tried to keep up and think woman seems the least offensive and made a point of using that more, though personally I find that word dehumanising and rude. It has connotations of extreme misogyny to me as in "oi woman, where my dinner"
I'm aware that this is illogical as I don't see any issues with the use of man despite its regular appearance in mysandrist sayings such as man up, be a man and the old fashioned unmanned, not referring to the lack of a human operator but of a man who is scared of something.
I've reached the point where I feel that if someone is offended by my choice of words then fine, let them be offended. I actually often take a lot of time chosing my words as carefully as I can but have found this doesnt stop people misreading or misconstruing them.
Female is used widely in our household thanks to Martin from FND - a massive favourite of ours. If I was sending a message and wanted to praise the sexiness of one half, I too would likely use female. I cannot imagine any threads started by a man on a couple profile complaining they'd been messaged to say " the male half of the couple looks stunning" nor would any other word sound grammatically right in place of male (or female) in that sentence.
Mr
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We would both refer to female strangers as birds ie some bird just knocked on the door.
We would refer to people's other halves as his missus if we didn't know her personally
And if we know them we would use their given name |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists.
Can you at least accept that referring to a woman as a female can be perceived as reducing her to an object?"
Not when it's suggested that it's always used deliberately that way or that it's only men who use it.
Where I grew up calling someone love or hun was and still is a colloquialism so why would anyone take offence at those terms?
I've looked at the first 20 profiles in local updates and currently 9 of those use the word female in their profiles and 1 describes herself as a SWF. |
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"Every person on here has a random set of ideas about which words are offensive and when - as has already been pointed out there is massive inconsistencies in the application of their logic.
I have tried to keep up and think woman seems the least offensive and made a point of using that more, though personally I find that word dehumanising and rude. It has connotations of extreme misogyny to me as in "oi woman, where my dinner"
I'm aware that this is illogical as I don't see any issues with the use of man despite its regular appearance in mysandrist sayings such as man up, be a man and the old fashioned unmanned, not referring to the lack of a human operator but of a man who is scared of something.
I've reached the point where I feel that if someone is offended by my choice of words then fine, let them be offended. I actually often take a lot of time chosing my words as carefully as I can but have found this doesnt stop people misreading or misconstruing them.
Female is used widely in our household thanks to Martin from FND - a massive favourite of ours. If I was sending a message and wanted to praise the sexiness of one half, I too would likely use female. I cannot imagine any threads started by a man on a couple profile complaining they'd been messaged to say " the male half of the couple looks stunning" nor would any other word sound grammatically right in place of male (or female) in that sentence.
Mr
"
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I see it as part of a pattern, that I've observed over time. Someone who uses female as a noun often has other red flags going on, too.
People can and will do what they like, but I'll draw inferences from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists.
Can you at least accept that referring to a woman as a female can be perceived as reducing her to an object?
Not when it's suggested that it's always used deliberately that way or that it's only men who use it.
Where I grew up calling someone love or hun was and still is a colloquialism so why would anyone take offence at those terms?
I've looked at the first 20 profiles in local updates and currently 9 of those use the word female in their profiles and 1 describes herself as a SWF. "
I describe myself as the female, really don't see a problem here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists.
Can you at least accept that referring to a woman as a female can be perceived as reducing her to an object?
Not when it's suggested that it's always used deliberately that way or that it's only men who use it.
Where I grew up calling someone love or hun was and still is a colloquialism so why would anyone take offence at those terms?
I've looked at the first 20 profiles in local updates and currently 9 of those use the word female in their profiles and 1 describes herself as a SWF. "
Still don't know - is SWF Single White Female? I don't find female offensive. I am female. I find men referring to women as females a red flag though and I have always been proved right. In my personal experience. "All these females who think they're all that" is an example of the way I've seen the word used. Always in the plural. Just my take and you have a different one. There will always be disagreement about language. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Every person on here has a random set of ideas about which words are offensive and when - as has already been pointed out there is massive inconsistencies in the application of their logic.
I have tried to keep up and think woman seems the least offensive and made a point of using that more, though personally I find that word dehumanising and rude. It has connotations of extreme misogyny to me as in "oi woman, where my dinner""
I think this context woman is quite obviously misogynistic. Using words to describe women instead of using their name in this context mostly feels obviously problematic.
In the contexts I think most people take issue with female being used instead of woman I don’t think it’s a reach at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Still don't know - is SWF Single White Female? I don't find female offensive. I am female. I find men referring to women as females a red flag though and I have always been proved right. In my personal experience. "All these females who think they're all that" is an example of the way I've seen the word used. Always in the plural. Just my take and you have a different one. There will always be disagreement about language. "
all of this!
I’ve seen sentences just like your example LOADS on twitter. My partner also sees things like that as red flags. |
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OK OK...let me write down "female" in my "words that are now offensive" notebook. I wrote like 40 pages of words already ... there will come a day where I won't be able to use the English language anymore |
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me. "
I don't think it's old fashioned.
I think with a lot of the English language it's just very regional (as with hen, lass, duck, etc).
It's just best not to take offence to words that are not said in an offensive manner. Context is always important. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence. "
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it. |
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I think I've only ever used it in an "official" sense, if I'm arranging accommodation for colleagues or something and it's being written on paperwork.
Otherwise I think I pretty much always use "woman" or "lady" in person. "Female" just seems to clinical to me to use the same way for some reason.
LvM |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do people genuinely use the word "female" in real life to talk about women?
I've seen it on Friday Night Dinner, with the dad asking his sons if they've got a female yet. But I thought this was ironic comedy.
Yet not for the first time we've had a random message on here telling us the female is stunning. I mean, it's accurate (yes, another look at me post! ) but it's a bloody weird way of saying it
What other strange expressions do people have when they contact you - in fab or real life? "
I never use the word female , it's either woman or lady |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
I think it's one of those situations where it doesn't matter what word you use theres a likelihood of it causing offense nowadays with some people, I talk how I would talk normally and just adjust if corrected |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it. "
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad? |
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In answer to the OP, I personally think that the majority on here who use female as a noun are just making a grammatical error and there isn't any malice behind it. I must admit that I can't help but flinch when I see it though because of how heavily it is deliberately done online within incel and MGTOW cultures. When you see enough hateful comments about "females" and they're deliberately describing women that way in order to dehumanise them it does elicit an emotional reaction. I might cringe inside but I won't chastise someone just for genuinely not knowing the correct use of nouns/adjectives around my gender. As always, intent is the most important thing to me. Depending on the situation though I might explain to someone who does it why using females as a noun can be off-putting for many women. What they do with that knowledge is up to them though. |
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SWF is Single, white, and female
Three discriptive words. It's common enough to be the title of a Hollywood film.
It's part of the the old newspaper ad shorthand.
Due to space limitations in print ads, abbreviations for the vocabulary of personal ads became conventional in the 20th century.
Some abbreviations describe the advertiser and who they WLTM (would like to meet) by marital status, ethnic group, and sex, such as MWM (married white male) and DBF (divorced black female).
Some indicate a common characteristic, such as GSOH (good sense of humour) and NS (non-smoking), veg (vegetarian) etc.
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?"
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In answer to the OP, I personally think that the majority on here who use female as a noun are just making a grammatical error and there isn't any malice behind it. I must admit that I can't help but flinch when I see it though because of how heavily it is deliberately done online within incel and MGTOW cultures. When you see enough hateful comments about "females" and they're deliberately describing women that way in order to dehumanise them it does elicit an emotional reaction. I might cringe inside but I won't chastise someone just for genuinely not knowing the correct use of nouns/adjectives around my gender. As always, intent is the most important thing to me. Depending on the situation though I might explain to someone who does it why using females as a noun can be off-putting for many women. What they do with that knowledge is up to them though. "
You’re brilliant. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called. "
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc.... |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc...."
That's up to you. Other people feel differently. |
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"In answer to the OP, I personally think that the majority on here who use female as a noun are just making a grammatical error and there isn't any malice behind it. I must admit that I can't help but flinch when I see it though because of how heavily it is deliberately done online within incel and MGTOW cultures. When you see enough hateful comments about "females" and they're deliberately describing women that way in order to dehumanise them it does elicit an emotional reaction. I might cringe inside but I won't chastise someone just for genuinely not knowing the correct use of nouns/adjectives around my gender. As always, intent is the most important thing to me. Depending on the situation though I might explain to someone who does it why using females as a noun can be off-putting for many women. What they do with that knowledge is up to them though. "
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently. "
I agree and for some it's a permanent state of mind |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently. "
Being offended as an individual and asking someone not to call you that word is one thing, as most people will respect your wishes, even if they don't find that word offensive. The problem is when we start policing words and force people not to use them. For example (and this is a hypothetical scenario) You don't like to be called female- I respect that and won't call you female. But if we are within a group and I call another person within that group female, or someone outside the group female, you would most likely be offended by the word and tell me I shouldn't use it ( "You shouldn't call a woman female !" ) ...and this is where the conversation becomes a bit more complex, and a bit more dangerous |
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It's a weird one, I would usually use woman in real life for most situations but always used female in messages on here, especially to couples where I would say "the female half" or "the male half". Perhaps that's because it's the terminology Fab uses when viewing profiles I subconsciously use those terms.
I had no idea it could be seen as offensive though. "The woman" to me still feels a bit harsh to say due to the connotations NBVN referred to above but will try to watch my words a bit more in general |
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"It's a weird one, I would usually use woman in real life for most situations but always used female in messages on here, especially to couples where I would say "the female half" or "the male half". Perhaps that's because it's the terminology Fab uses when viewing profiles I subconsciously use those terms.
I had no idea it could be seen as offensive though. "The woman" to me still feels a bit harsh to say due to the connotations NBVN referred to above but will try to watch my words a bit more in general "
For me, "the female half" is fine and also makes grammatical sense. It would be equivalent to saying "the tall half" or "the brunette half". The context in which it can be jarring is usually when it's used as a noun. So "the female" or "females on here" or "are there any females who... ". That sort of thing. |
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"I don't like lady and those who use it tend to be very old fashioned in their views. I would love to be called hen though.I think woman is healthy middle ground.
I’m old fashioned in my views then according to you because I would always say “that lady over there”
Or “go and ask that lady”. Using woman in those sentences just doesn’t sound right to me.
You'd just use 'her'.
Naturally I wouldn’t. That just sounds rude
I agree. I often tell my kids to say thank you to the lady in the shop. There’s nothing wrong with it at all."
Same. And I am NOT old fashioned at all!
I might say "give the lady your book to scan" at the library, when speaking to my daughter... |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently.
Being offended as an individual and asking someone not to call you that word is one thing, as most people will respect your wishes, even if they don't find that word offensive. The problem is when we start policing words and force people not to use them. For example (and this is a hypothetical scenario) You don't like to be called female- I respect that and won't call you female. But if we are within a group and I call another person within that group female, or someone outside the group female, you would most likely be offended by the word and tell me I shouldn't use it ( "You shouldn't call a woman female !" ) ...and this is where the conversation becomes a bit more complex, and a bit more dangerous "
I didn't say I don't like to be called female or that I would be offended by you calling me or another female. |
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"OK OK...let me write down "female" in my "words that are now offensive" notebook. I wrote like 40 pages of words already ... there will come a day where I won't be able to use the English language anymore "
The word itself is certainly not offensive and fine when used in the right way/context. For example "a female dog" when referring to an animal at the local dog rescue. It doesn't sound right and it does feel very impersonal to receive messages to our inbox saying "the female is.....". Yes, to describe me biologically, I am female. I'm also biologically blood type O neg and white skinned, but no-one would start a message describing my phenotype in those terms!
Woman or lady - perfectly happy for those words to be used when messaging. But even better, my initial is on the profile, so if someone wants to refer to me in a message, they could say "N is..." or "Mrs KC is..." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently.
Being offended as an individual and asking someone not to call you that word is one thing, as most people will respect your wishes, even if they don't find that word offensive. The problem is when we start policing words and force people not to use them. For example (and this is a hypothetical scenario) You don't like to be called female- I respect that and won't call you female. But if we are within a group and I call another person within that group female, or someone outside the group female, you would most likely be offended by the word and tell me I shouldn't use it ( "You shouldn't call a woman female !" ) ...and this is where the conversation becomes a bit more complex, and a bit more dangerous "
Don't think anyone has said they would do this. I don't even ask individuals to stop calling me a female. I just bypass them. It's a filter. |
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"At a guess I’d say it’s most likely because of all the sad fucks that get upset by the words girl or woman.
But I can’t be 100%."
Nothing to do with being "a sad fuck".
I detest being called anything with girl in the sentence.. i.e good girl or whatever. I'm a grown woman not a child |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently.
Being offended as an individual and asking someone not to call you that word is one thing, as most people will respect your wishes, even if they don't find that word offensive. The problem is when we start policing words and force people not to use them. For example (and this is a hypothetical scenario) You don't like to be called female- I respect that and won't call you female. But if we are within a group and I call another person within that group female, or someone outside the group female, you would most likely be offended by the word and tell me I shouldn't use it ( "You shouldn't call a woman female !" ) ...and this is where the conversation becomes a bit more complex, and a bit more dangerous
I didn't say I don't like to be called female or that I would be offended by you calling me or another female. "
I said hypothetical scenario |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently.
Being offended as an individual and asking someone not to call you that word is one thing, as most people will respect your wishes, even if they don't find that word offensive. The problem is when we start policing words and force people not to use them. For example (and this is a hypothetical scenario) You don't like to be called female- I respect that and won't call you female. But if we are within a group and I call another person within that group female, or someone outside the group female, you would most likely be offended by the word and tell me I shouldn't use it ( "You shouldn't call a woman female !" ) ...and this is where the conversation becomes a bit more complex, and a bit more dangerous
I didn't say I don't like to be called female or that I would be offended by you calling me or another female.
I said hypothetical scenario "
Then I can't really comment on something that's totally made up and I can't relate to. I could describe a hypothetical scenario in which you are offended by being called a human and offended by anyone calling anyone else a human or even saying humans exist and make comment on that scenario but it's not really contributing to the conversation and a constructive way. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Fuck me this is a long thread, and I can't really be bothered reading a every single response. So I'm going to say my bit and leave.
There is likely a good few reasons. One of which is just luck of the draw, in the past I've said different variations of referring to the women folk - woman, girl, lady, female. At least once, every one of those words has either been received well or found offensive/insulting. It's hit and miss. Some more favoured than others but most certainly not a guarantee of being the correct thing to say. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently.
Being offended as an individual and asking someone not to call you that word is one thing, as most people will respect your wishes, even if they don't find that word offensive. The problem is when we start policing words and force people not to use them. For example (and this is a hypothetical scenario) You don't like to be called female- I respect that and won't call you female. But if we are within a group and I call another person within that group female, or someone outside the group female, you would most likely be offended by the word and tell me I shouldn't use it ( "You shouldn't call a woman female !" ) ...and this is where the conversation becomes a bit more complex, and a bit more dangerous
I didn't say I don't like to be called female or that I would be offended by you calling me or another female.
I said hypothetical scenario
Then I can't really comment on something that's totally made up and I can't relate to. I could describe a hypothetical scenario in which you are offended by being called a human and offended by anyone calling anyone else a human or even saying humans exist and make comment on that scenario but it's not really contributing to the conversation and a constructive way. "
That's not really what hypothetical means...a hypothesis is based on real existing ideas, not things that are made up. But I shouldn't have mentioned you personally in my hypothetical scenario, I can understand why you might have taken that personally, so I apologise for that.
You not thinking my comment is constructive, is your opinion (that I will respect), but I do think it is part of the broader conversation of what words are and aren't offensive and how many people are trying to control the usage of them (for everyone) within our society. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
There is a difference between calling yourself something though and other people calling you it. Take the word slut for example. Just because I've called myself a slut before or talked about being slutty doesn't mean I'm going to respond very warmly to a random man calling me it.
And if someone says "alright big lad?" or "alright wee lad?" am I supposed to be offended by the words big or wee or should I be more offended that a teenager is calling me lad?
It's entirely up to you if there are certain words you want to request not to be called.
That my point. There aren't any words that I feel the need to ask someone not to call me.
I've been called many things over the years simply because of where I was born and my religion but sticks and stones etc....
That's up to you. Other people feel differently.
Being offended as an individual and asking someone not to call you that word is one thing, as most people will respect your wishes, even if they don't find that word offensive. The problem is when we start policing words and force people not to use them. For example (and this is a hypothetical scenario) You don't like to be called female- I respect that and won't call you female. But if we are within a group and I call another person within that group female, or someone outside the group female, you would most likely be offended by the word and tell me I shouldn't use it ( "You shouldn't call a woman female !" ) ...and this is where the conversation becomes a bit more complex, and a bit more dangerous
I didn't say I don't like to be called female or that I would be offended by you calling me or another female.
I said hypothetical scenario
Then I can't really comment on something that's totally made up and I can't relate to. I could describe a hypothetical scenario in which you are offended by being called a human and offended by anyone calling anyone else a human or even saying humans exist and make comment on that scenario but it's not really contributing to the conversation and a constructive way.
That's not really what hypothetical means...a hypothesis is based on real existing ideas, not things that are made up. But I shouldn't have mentioned you personally in my hypothetical scenario, I can understand why you might have taken that personally, so I apologise for that.
You not thinking my comment is constructive, is your opinion (that I will respect), but I do think it is part of the broader conversation of what words are and aren't offensive and how many people are trying to control the usage of them (for everyone) within our society. "
Hypothetical situations can be useful. Giving a person hypothetical opinions is unlikely to be. A useful hypothetical situation in this conversation would be something along the lines of "you are in a social setting and someone calls another person a word you personally find offensive. How would you respond?" I can apply my own viewpoint to that scenario and imagine how I would respond due to my own opinions and life experiences. I can't imagine having opinions that I don't or behaving in ways I never would. |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists.
Can you at least accept that referring to a woman as a female can be perceived as reducing her to an object?
Not when it's suggested that it's always used deliberately that way or that it's only men who use it.
Where I grew up calling someone love or hun was and still is a colloquialism so why would anyone take offence at those terms?
I've looked at the first 20 profiles in local updates and currently 9 of those use the word female in their profiles and 1 describes herself as a SWF. "
Aye, but what's your point caller? |
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"I've seen men get their knuckles wrapped for calling a woman a girl and told it was demeaning and those same women talking about girl power and how us girls need to stick together.
It's often selective offence.
This
Never seen the word female/fem used so much as I do on fab.
My personal opinion is I really couldn’t care less. Girl/female/woman not sure if lady would would be appropriate though
I want the life of those who have time to worry about these kind of things!
In my opinion using the word lady is often sychophantic and I don't agree for a second that using the word female is a sign of misogynistic tendencies.
If that were the case there are a large percentage of women who are self misogynists.
Can you at least accept that referring to a woman as a female can be perceived as reducing her to an object?
Not when it's suggested that it's always used deliberately that way or that it's only men who use it.
Where I grew up calling someone love or hun was and still is a colloquialism so why would anyone take offence at those terms?
I've looked at the first 20 profiles in local updates and currently 9 of those use the word female in their profiles and 1 describes herself as a SWF.
Aye, but what's your point caller?"
You used the word perceived. Its all about perception. No one on this thread can claim to speak for their gender and it's obvious from various comments that what some perceive as intent is anything but and what some perceive as offensive others perceive as perfectly acceptable. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Yes people use the word female in real life the same as they do on here. Does it bother me ,no not really,in fact so little that I've never given it much thought. There's a lot worse that I can be called that would bother me. |
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Personally, I prefer people to address me exactly as they see fit, it's a good indicator of how they perceive me and sets the tone for any interaction with them. I've never been offended by any, even if someone has called me a c*unt, that's simply their opinion of me which they are perfectly entitled to have. |
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