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Rejection
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Okay so a bit of a reflection thread …
So I’ve been speaking to this guy (who I consider a friend) and we spoke a bit about rejection and he opened up about how he had a bad experience when rejecting somebody, and she took it badly and some shit happened . I don’t wanna go deep cos… bitch, this isn’t about him!
Then you see other people this week who did throw tantrum about being rejected or also rejecting somebody and the rejected turning into a bit of a nightmare
So my question is … are we really that afraid of rejection? Do we really struggle that much to be graceful and take it on the chin?
I mean it does suck, little back story, I got rejected (ladies and gents, yes I admit even I, Miss Kylie , got rejected !!! #livid  ) by this guy in that way, but I think I did take it gracefully as I understood and we became good friends. He’s an amazinggggg guy and the lady whos gonna snatch him will be a lucky woman x so sometimes, good things come from rejection! (Silver lining)
Anyway going back to my questions … yes being rejected is awful but maybe if we looked at ourselves and truly accepted ourselves and our flaws more (the good and the bad). Maybe We’d be better at accepting rejection altogether and let it wash off over us like nothing x
Thoughts? Do you suck at rejection? X
Stories of rejections from any angle, are well valued here
Especially if some positive came from rejection
Y’all CANT all be crazy banshees |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously I’m not single now but when I was a single man rejection was just part of life.
You either get on with it or don’t ever try.
My motto is you should only regret the things you didn’t do. If you don’t try you’ll never get anywhere and I wouldn’t ever want to be like that.
That goes for everything in life and not just relationships/pulling/sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I embrace rejection...I see it as my spiritual compass steering me away from people who'd inevitably fuck up my joojoo"
This is a very good way at looking at it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's rejection people struggle with, it's what it represents. Our minds are full of insecurites and every single one comes to the forefront when we get 'rejected'. It's that confirmation your not good enough and that's why it feels so shit. It's hard to face any form of rejection but when it happens people need to remember not too let someone else's preference dictate their self esteem. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Expect to be rejected and then it's so much nicer when you're accepted.
It's the same with a job interview.
If you go in thinking you're the dogs bollocks and they'd be lucky to have you (even if you are and they would) then it's going to be a huge smack in the chops when you don't get the job and you'll start looking for excuses like 'they wanted someone younger', or 'they wanted someone who they could pay less', or 'they wanted someone with bigger tits'.
Much like sex of course........
A |
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"Okay so a bit of a reflection thread …
So I’ve been speaking to this guy (who I consider a friend) and we spoke a bit about rejection and he opened up about how he had a bad experience when rejecting somebody, and she took it badly and some shit happened . I don’t wanna go deep cos… bitch, this isn’t about him!
Then you see other people this week who did throw tantrum about being rejected or also rejecting somebody and the rejected turning into a bit of a nightmare
So my question is … are we really that afraid of rejection? Do we really struggle that much to be graceful and take it on the chin?
I mean it does suck, little back story, I got rejected (ladies and gents, yes I admit even I, Miss Kylie , got rejected !!! #livid ) by this guy in that way, but I think I did take it gracefully as I understood and we became good friends. He’s an amazinggggg guy and the lady whos gonna snatch him will be a lucky woman x so sometimes, good things come from rejection! (Silver lining)
Anyway going back to my questions … yes being rejected is awful but maybe if we looked at ourselves and truly accepted ourselves and our flaws more (the good and the bad). Maybe We’d be better at accepting rejection altogether and let it wash off over us like nothing x
Thoughts? Do you suck at rejection? X
Stories of rejections from any angle, are well valued here
Especially if some positive came from rejection
Y’all CANT all be crazy banshees "
I got rejected so many times by women in the past, that it just numbed my expectations. So I just don't approach them anymore |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
I can generally brush it off, if it's based purely on physical attraction (ie on Fab). Rejection when someone knows you as a person is harder to take, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I try & move on without thinking on it too deeply |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think it's rejection people struggle with, it's what it represents. Our minds are full of insecurites and every single one comes to the forefront when we get 'rejected'. It's that confirmation your not good enough and that's why it feels so shit. It's hard to face any form of rejection but when it happens people need to remember not too let someone else's preference dictate their self esteem."
Yes for sure and accepting that our flaws in the eyes of somebody, won’t be seen as that by another person x |
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I think a bigger picture mentality kinda helps. People are all different, they all like different things. The logic of that makes it understandable to me 
I was probably more sensitive to it when I was younger, but then I'd just strip naked in front of a full-length mirror and sing Ave Maria, weeping softly, while plotting Gotham's downfall.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was a time once where i cared about someone enough to be bothered by rejection i didnt know how to handle it iv never really lost before so behaved like a spoiled child as a result iv learned not to care enough about anything to give the slightest of fucks about rejection again iv lived my fears and now i fear nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh, wad some pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us..."
Not only that, but to recognise that everyone sees us differently, depending on who they are and what they are looking for. If we can accept that, it's easier to accept "rejection". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We need to reject the fear of being rejected.
You are right we should all acknowledge our flaws and realise that everyone has flaws and reject this idea that anyone is better than anyone.
Sucks when it happens but some things are just not going to work out and its easier to just reject someone than drag them along to a bad conclusion.
I absolutely suck at being rejected but then remember that I would also reject people and have actually done so.
There was one time that I had met this woman absolutely amazing but lets just say first meet didn't go to plan. I probably mad the best decision of my life in rejecting her even though it cost me quite a few close friends.
Think I have used Reject more times than you now Kylie you have been ejected! |
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Rejection sucks but usually you can learn something from the experience.
My Dad rejected me and that hurt I won't lie. But I learnt so much from it and it's made me who I am today. And I kinda think I'm an ok person.
Fear of rejection I think is usually worse than the actual rejection. Plus you can miss out so much on life if you try and sheild yourself too much from it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me personally, I’d rather a woman just said sorry you’re not my type/what I’m looking for etc.
I don’t get why some people can’t just take it on the chin and move on.
No need to get grrr about it. |
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Rejection on fab? Couldn’t Care less… don’t think I have that much of an ego to bruise.. always someone else out there,
Rejection and knock backs are not the same as neglect, rejection is more going after something you want and then getting the knock back.. it’s always a test to see if you can handle it
Neglect is something that’s emotionally unconditionally expected but the other party is too self focused on them selves to share their own emotion… all the focus is on number one
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
As I’ve got older I care a lot less about fitting into little moulds that society has created or to that mindset of doing something to please someone else, of looking a certain way, of liking things because someone deems it cool to do so- I’m on my own path, I’ve got my confidence back that a previous relationship robbed me of and I’ve realised my own worth. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I don’t strive to be, if I want something I’ll damn well go for it and give it my all - as long as I can come away from it, reflect and know that I have gave it my best that’s all that matters, as for people well you either like me or you don’t, I’ll compromise for those who I feel are worth it but I’ll never change for anyone, I’m me and for me that’s more than enough xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay so a bit of a reflection thread …
So I’ve been speaking to this guy (who I consider a friend) and we spoke a bit about rejection and he opened up about how he had a bad experience when rejecting somebody, and she took it badly and some shit happened . I don’t wanna go deep cos… bitch, this isn’t about him!
Then you see other people this week who did throw tantrum about being rejected or also rejecting somebody and the rejected turning into a bit of a nightmare
So my question is … are we really that afraid of rejection? Do we really struggle that much to be graceful and take it on the chin?
I mean it does suck, little back story, I got rejected (ladies and gents, yes I admit even I, Miss Kylie , got rejected !!! #livid ) by this guy in that way, but I think I did take it gracefully as I understood and we became good friends. He’s an amazinggggg guy and the lady whos gonna snatch him will be a lucky woman x so sometimes, good things come from rejection! (Silver lining)
Anyway going back to my questions … yes being rejected is awful but maybe if we looked at ourselves and truly accepted ourselves and our flaws more (the good and the bad). Maybe We’d be better at accepting rejection altogether and let it wash off over us like nothing x
Thoughts? Do you suck at rejection? X
Stories of rejections from any angle, are well valued here
Especially if some positive came from rejection
Y’all CANT all be crazy banshees "
Couldn't give a monkey's!!
Can I just add though, you only have your "friends" side of the story and we all know there is 3 sides to every story!! |
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I try to be a social chameleon with everyone I meet so that I can get to know them and judge whether we get on, but doing that definitely comes with a fear of rejection if they don't think we click as much as I do. That goes for friends, work colleagues etc.
On here, I've stopped fearing rejection and pretty much come to expect it but even if we have messaged and clicked, I fear sending them a face pic expecting the conversation to end there  |
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I don't have flaws, I have quirks that are tailored especially to me. I just occasionally have socials with incompatible people, we didn't know we were incompatible till we met but that’s no biggie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I embrace rejection...I see it as my spiritual compass steering me away from people who'd inevitably fuck up my joojoo"
Exactly that.
A no from them is a no for me too.
It's simply not to be. |
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On fab? No I don’t care. It doesn’t take up any more headspace than the time it takes to read the rejection.
Away from fab? I always take rejection gracefully, but, it stings more than it probably should. It’s something I’m working through right now and it’s hard, it’s brought insecurities to the surface that I didn’t know I had but on the plus side, I’ll go away and work on them and be a better person for it. Eventually. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself right now. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I've not been rejected. Well once after I said no to having sex with him there and then but that's not a rejection really...
And to be really, really truthful with you Kylie? I'd probably be a bit crap with it. I've gone through life getting the results I want in all areas of my life. Never not got the job I've wanted, the grades, the penii, the quim... you get the idea. I don't expect to get the results but deep down I know I can and will. Gosh, that's actually some confidence from me.
And when it comes to "business time", I've always erred on the cautious side - it takes me a while to want to have sex with someone anyway and I wouldn't erm... well put myself out there too much in case I am rejected. So, essentially, this rather privileged twonk hasn't been rejected, probably won't be and in the very, very, very unlikelihood she is, she might jut her lip out a bit and moan to her best friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection is never nice but it is what it is
I get a lot of rejection but I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I accept that. We’re all beautiful and desirable to someone no matter how we look.
Everyone has something that someone else is looking for it’s just finding that person
Nobody is perfect and nobody is completely unwanted
We all have a quality someone wants x
Sending positive vibes x |
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All the men I have interacted with and have to say no thanks to have usually just sent back a polite reply. My sample size is a tiny percentage of the site but I have been impressed with how well they took it. I'm always nice and tell them why. |
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Stating the bleedin' obvious but
Rejection = Failure.
And we are woefully taught as kids how to deal with any failure (unlike some cultures like US). We have a raft of popular methods most of which are about ignoring or undermining the decision, the person or the objective - and focus our pain on hating; unhelpful ways to deal with something.
Personally we look at what can be learned to improve (and include yourself in the assessment), accept at the outset there will be things both beyond your control and even knowledge. Keep it healthy - once you have evaluated, stop and move on to the next challenge - if you don't defend you no bugger will  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Okay so a bit of a reflection thread …
So I’ve been speaking to this guy (who I consider a friend) and we spoke a bit about rejection and he opened up about how he had a bad experience when rejecting somebody, and she took it badly and some shit happened . I don’t wanna go deep cos… bitch, this isn’t about him!
Then you see other people this week who did throw tantrum about being rejected or also rejecting somebody and the rejected turning into a bit of a nightmare
So my question is … are we really that afraid of rejection? Do we really struggle that much to be graceful and take it on the chin?
I mean it does suck, little back story, I got rejected (ladies and gents, yes I admit even I, Miss Kylie , got rejected !!! #livid ) by this guy in that way, but I think I did take it gracefully as I understood and we became good friends. He’s an amazinggggg guy and the lady whos gonna snatch him will be a lucky woman x so sometimes, good things come from rejection! (Silver lining)
Anyway going back to my questions … yes being rejected is awful but maybe if we looked at ourselves and truly accepted ourselves and our flaws more (the good and the bad). Maybe We’d be better at accepting rejection altogether and let it wash off over us like nothing x
Thoughts? Do you suck at rejection? X
Stories of rejections from any angle, are well valued here
Especially if some positive came from rejection
Y’all CANT all be crazy banshees "
Not one bit afraid of it , it's part n parcel not only here but in real life too , everybody just really needs to realise that you ..yes YOU ..may not be somebody's type and even though you mightened be able to handle it , it's just the way it is ..you are NOT everyone's type . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think rejection certainly comes part & parcel of this site, dont get me wrong theres some amazing experiances to be had, on the otherside it can be demoralising and i certainly take a break every now and then otherwise the negativity gets too much. |
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When you’re younger rejection can be devastating and send you into a spiral of depression, because you don’t realise that you’re just looking for validation which, when it doesn’t come, makes you question your whole being. When you’re older and have a sense of self, it can be part of an improvement process (or you just say fuck off) |
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I struggle to get my head round anyone having issues over rejection, maybe I've been lucky and it's not happened very often, but I can't say that it's never happened. I've personally found though that since the advent of cyberspace courtship with dating sites to suit everyone, it's a bit like waiting for a bus, it doesn't matter if you miss the first one because, there will be another one along in a minute, and even if you jump on a particular bus, and you don't like the direction it's going in, you simply jump off that bus and get on another one until you get to the destination where you want to be. So why bother if you're not for one particular individual when the choice is endless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection by your wife of 20 years leaves a mark. As for here or dating sites, it comes with the territory and in the end you expect it, or at least I do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes when it's a loved one who Reject you it definitely hurts as u miss them everyday but only happen the one time but as Humans we socials Beings so now and then we lije to connect with people but remember we all have a kind of person we like and I find now innet can be a very nasty to some people date sites and so on but My way of thinking now if someone don't meet for what ever reason I move on or see a true friend as my time of life just like to be as happy as I can lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All the men I have interacted with and have to say no thanks to have usually just sent back a polite reply. My sample size is a tiny percentage of the site but I have been impressed with how well they took it. I'm always nice and tell them why."
I did have some men who I rejected, (in person) who took it so personally that ended up something a bit nasty. When in fact it was maybe more about me than it was necessarily about them.
so I think it depends from person to person, but I also believe some women aren’t used to being rejected so maybe it comes a bit as a shock if it happens x maybe?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You need a different way of thinking of oh well their loss"
I think also that is a bit the passive aggressive way of dealing with it
But rather
Well it probably would have not worked, so thanks |
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Rejection is something humans tend to be afraid of and what often drives people to become angry and become irrational.
I've been rejected but have learnt to relax and take a moment of reflection and move on. Why try and waste energy on anger and attempting to convince or hit out to the other person. |
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I was crippled by fear of rejection for many years. Still am in certain situations. Thing is, I handle it outwardly quite well. Probably missed out on lots of situations because of it. You have to learn to push on regardless of fears and have done that with age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Okay so a bit of a reflection thread …
So I’ve been speaking to this guy (who I consider a friend) and we spoke a bit about rejection and he opened up about how he had a bad experience when rejecting somebody, and she took it badly and some shit happened . I don’t wanna go deep cos… bitch, this isn’t about him!
Then you see other people this week who did throw tantrum about being rejected or also rejecting somebody and the rejected turning into a bit of a nightmare
So my question is … are we really that afraid of rejection? Do we really struggle that much to be graceful and take it on the chin?
I mean it does suck, little back story, I got rejected (ladies and gents, yes I admit even I, Miss Kylie , got rejected !!! #livid ) by this guy in that way, but I think I did take it gracefully as I understood and we became good friends. He’s an amazinggggg guy and the lady whos gonna snatch him will be a lucky woman x so sometimes, good things come from rejection! (Silver lining)
Anyway going back to my questions … yes being rejected is awful but maybe if we looked at ourselves and truly accepted ourselves and our flaws more (the good and the bad). Maybe We’d be better at accepting rejection altogether and let it wash off over us like nothing x
Thoughts? Do you suck at rejection? X
Stories of rejections from any angle, are well valued here
Especially if some positive came from rejection
Y’all CANT all be crazy banshees "
I’ve only been rejected once (by someone that mattered to me) and it has really fucked me up.
I am now sooo scared of heartbreak that I’d I even start to feel interest in a person, they get blocked immediately!
I never, ever want to feel that way again. Not sure I could survive it. He rejected me whilst seeing me for 5 years. A real head fuck, never again! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I’ve only been rejected once (by someone that mattered to me) and it has really fucked me up.
I am now sooo scared of heartbreak that I’d I even start to feel interest in a person, they get blocked immediately!
I never, ever want to feel that way again. Not sure I could survive it. He rejected me whilst seeing me for 5 years. A real head fuck, never again! "
So sorry to hear sweet! X
And was it like a relationship or you were seeing each other and then you made a move to go forward into that relationship and he rejected you?
God when you have a rejection + heart break that’s the worst combo.
Heart breaks are SO painful it feels like someone really rips it out of you and you can’t breathe |
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I suspect it is a natural instinct. Humans are by definition sociable mammals.
They have the need to be accepted into a couple or group situation.
Most will lash out with anger if not accepted. The level of this anger is the key and is probably to do with the person's own self esteem.
You have to love yourself before you can be loved by others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I’ve only been rejected once (by someone that mattered to me) and it has really fucked me up.
I am now sooo scared of heartbreak that I’d I even start to feel interest in a person, they get blocked immediately!
I never, ever want to feel that way again. Not sure I could survive it. He rejected me whilst seeing me for 5 years. A real head fuck, never again!
So sorry to hear sweet! X
And was it like a relationship or you were seeing each other and then you made a move to go forward into that relationship and he rejected you?
God when you have a rejection + heart break that’s the worst combo.
Heart breaks are SO painful it feels like someone really rips it out of you and you can’t breathe "
I wanted a relationship, he didn’t but we had this pseudo-relationship for 5 years until I couldn’t take any more of being used! It was getting silly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I’ve only been rejected once (by someone that mattered to me) and it has really fucked me up.
I am now sooo scared of heartbreak that I’d I even start to feel interest in a person, they get blocked immediately!
I never, ever want to feel that way again. Not sure I could survive it. He rejected me whilst seeing me for 5 years. A real head fuck, never again!
So sorry to hear sweet! X
And was it like a relationship or you were seeing each other and then you made a move to go forward into that relationship and he rejected you?
God when you have a rejection + heart break that’s the worst combo.
Heart breaks are SO painful it feels like someone really rips it out of you and you can’t breathe
I wanted a relationship, he didn’t but we had this pseudo-relationship for 5 years until I couldn’t take any more of being used! It was getting silly."
What a fuck boy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I’ve only been rejected once (by someone that mattered to me) and it has really fucked me up.
I am now sooo scared of heartbreak that I’d I even start to feel interest in a person, they get blocked immediately!
I never, ever want to feel that way again. Not sure I could survive it. He rejected me whilst seeing me for 5 years. A real head fuck, never again!
So sorry to hear sweet! X
And was it like a relationship or you were seeing each other and then you made a move to go forward into that relationship and he rejected you?
God when you have a rejection + heart break that’s the worst combo.
Heart breaks are SO painful it feels like someone really rips it out of you and you can’t breathe
I wanted a relationship, he didn’t but we had this pseudo-relationship for 5 years until I couldn’t take any more of being used! It was getting silly."
I understand ,trust me l do, huge hug to you . |
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Can’t understand how strangers get upset over other strangers views / rejection on them etc. to me it’s an illogical thought process .
I would understand it somewhat if it is rejection from friends / family but to get bent over randoms online rejection |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can’t understand how strangers get upset over other strangers views / rejection on them etc. to me it’s an illogical thought process .
I would understand it somewhat if it is rejection from friends / family but to get bent over randoms online rejection "
I agree! girl, the soul search and self acceptance we had to go through tho! Like x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection here or on dating sites as such... DO NOT get anyway upset , ever.
I see some people here have broadened rejection to real life so that's a total different kettle of fish, it can and does hurt ..big time , rejection from a family member or a friend, a person you are really into or even if you have an idea , any rejection can be hurtful , it takes time to recover but if you feel for any reason that you are constantly rejected I think ,and it's only my opinion , that you let go , don't be trying to please them always cause no matter what you do it's never gonna be enough, start enjoying what you like to do most yourself, it might take a while but you'll feel better for it . |
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