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Messaging directly from forums
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
As the others have said it entirely depends.
I have had great conversations with people based on forum threads.
I have also felt the need to start ending some messages (specifically about fetishes etc) with "this isn't an open invitation to message me" due to the amount of 'i love xxx - do it with me' messages I can get. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I prefer people not too unless there is a real reason why they need to message privately. Sometimes I think people start thread potentially asking for advice, and when I give advice in the forum and they message privately about it, it ends up with thinking they're just starting a thread to start messaging people in private who have expressed an interest.
They then take the subject matter off course and try to arrange a meet or cam etc |
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If it's someone you've interacted with via the forums before or, just a light hearted/helpful comment, i believe it's fine.
Random comments from non forum contributors or sex pests should be frowned upon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would only do this with people I regularly talk to and was talking to at the time.
I don’t mind if people do it to me but I don’t think they’re doing it to just get into my pants. |
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I’ve done it from time to time, when the comment is relevant, or when it’s a supportive message in relation to a personal matter. I’ve never had any adverse comments in reply. Quite the opposite, in fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on the context.
Very rarely have I messaged privately in response to a forum post, there have been times where I believe it's justified and when I have, it's their comment I'm replying to, not using it as an excuse to message people in particular.
Messaging a thank you for posting could put many people off, feels like an excuse, when all it takes is a thank you to all on the post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you receive a PM on said subject it should be because the sender doesn't want to reply on the forum but wants to give their point of view to you , that's all it should be , it shouldn't contain any other hidden agenda such as changing the subject or looking for a meet etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you receive a PM on said subject it should be because the sender doesn't want to reply on the forum but wants to give their point of view to you , that's all it should be , it shouldn't contain any other hidden agenda such as changing the subject or looking for a meet etc "
I tried to reply to you via mail on this subject but it says you have blocked me....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless it's one of those "I'm in!" kind of threads that encourage messaging, then generally any reply from a forum thread I ever received has been one that a) should have been a public post, and b) often wasn't public because it included some sort of comment about another user that the sender wouldn't dare say publicly... |
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It depends on the message. If it's something related to a post that they don't want to discuss in public that's fine (apart from if it's the "I fancy" threads, I've told plenty of people to do one in the past because of that...if you can't publicly admit that you find me attractive on a fun thread then don't come sniffing round my inbox!). But what isn't fine is when men reply privately to a post as an excuse to be all smarmy and start with sex chat, especially when they've previously messaged and been ignored. |
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By *ames5169 OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"It depends on the message. If it's something related to a post that they don't want to discuss in public that's fine (apart from if it's the "I fancy" threads, I've told plenty of people to do one in the past because of that...if you can't publicly admit that you find me attractive on a fun thread then don't come sniffing round my inbox!). But what isn't fine is when men reply privately to a post as an excuse to be all smarmy and start with sex chat, especially when they've previously messaged and been ignored. "
True x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends on the message. If it's something related to a post that they don't want to discuss in public that's fine (apart from if it's the "I fancy" threads, I've told plenty of people to do one in the past because of that...if you can't publicly admit that you find me attractive on a fun thread then don't come sniffing round my inbox!). But what isn't fine is when men reply privately to a post as an excuse to be all smarmy and start with sex chat, especially when they've previously messaged and been ignored. "
This  |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"I’ve only done it from one of my own threads normally thanking the person for commenting Always women though !! A good range of opinions though thanks "
Yeah that falls into my 'why have you emailed me - don't do that'... Especially if you only thank women for commenting |
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By *ames5169 OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"I’ve only done it from one of my own threads normally thanking the person for commenting Always women though !! A good range of opinions though thanks
Yeah that falls into my 'why have you emailed me - don't do that'... Especially if you only thank women for commenting "
Fair point well made !! Can I message you? Lol xx |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Is this something that’s frowned upon or encouraged ? I’ve found I receive considerably more replies when messaging from a forum thread x what’s everyone’s opinion on this ?"
I have occasionally sent messages of support to people. I've had lots of messages from (men) agreeing with me on something or maybe sending a funny/flirty message.
It doesn't bother me- I'll either reply or not, depending on the circumstances |
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I don't have a problem with people sending me a private message relating to a post I have made. It is not usually because they are trying to get my knickers off.
What I think is pathetic are the chancers who use a forum thread to comment creepily on another poster's profile/pictures or offering their service because they are 'nearby', unless that is specifically the point of the thread.
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By *aretobareCouple
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
Sometimes it is really nice to have a message from a thread, especially if it is something of a shared interest that could lead to either a good laugh or learning something new on other occasions it can be a little creepy, it is all a matter of context! |
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By *ames5169 OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Sometimes it is really nice to have a message from a thread, especially if it is something of a shared interest that could lead to either a good laugh or learning something new on other occasions it can be a little creepy, it is all a matter of context!"
That’s the spirit I message in x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this something that’s frowned upon or encouraged ? I’ve found I receive considerably more replies when messaging from a forum thread x what’s everyone’s opinion on this ?"
Context and content is everything
Don't message someone on a thread about favourite crisps to tell them they've got crackin tits |
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By *ames5169 OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Is this something that’s frowned upon or encouraged ? I’ve found I receive considerably more replies when messaging from a forum thread x what’s everyone’s opinion on this ?
Context and content is everything
Don't message someone on a thread about favourite crisps to tell them they've got crackin tits"
Don’t think I did that ? Lol |
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I prefer people keep it in the forums
9x out of 10 the messages are nonsense and no better than the hi how are you messages just because they've seen something you like that catches there eye & the others are questions which if popped in the forum would likely help others too
I see no reason to take things private unless requested |
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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago
land of make believe |
Unless it is specifically said in the thread,people should ask or wait to be invited to message.
Men rarely realise how creepy and weird they are being.
Sometimes I receive messages that would be fine to post on the forums just as an excuse to message/chat.
I only have my message filters open when on a forum game too but unfortunately if they have already messaged me ,it doesn't include them,regardless of a reply from me.
Keep it on the forums ,it is more fun xx
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Yeah we’ve had so many private messages from comments we’ve made on a post and they have often been suggestive ‘I would love to have been there’ ‘when can I get involved with that’…sometimes from the OP, which does suggest they’ve set up the post to see who they can contact direct.
It’s often comments from people who haven’t even commented on the forum post…which I find quite sneaky.
Fine if you want to continue a discussion and not clog up the post. Not fine when being sleazy.
K
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By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago
land of make believe |
"Is this something that’s frowned upon or encouraged ? I’ve found I receive considerably more replies when messaging from a forum thread x what’s everyone’s opinion on this ?
Context and content is everything
Don't message someone on a thread about favourite crisps to tell them they've got crackin tits
Don’t think I did that ? Lol"
You did that exact thing to me!!  |
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By *ames5169 OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Is this something that’s frowned upon or encouraged ? I’ve found I receive considerably more replies when messaging from a forum thread x what’s everyone’s opinion on this ?
Context and content is everything
Don't message someone on a thread about favourite crisps to tell them they've got crackin tits
Don’t think I did that ? Lol
You did that exact thing to me!! "
It worked briefly!! Xx lol |
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If it’s something that’s too private to post - for example another woman messaged me after a thread about horrible meets to say she’d had a similar experience with a creepy, grabby guy. Totally understood why she’d want to chat privately.
Other times it’s just an excuse to creep and that’s just not good.
Especially the chap who messaged privately from the aforementioned thread playing the weird white knight with a promise not to assault me. It’s just creepy.
Most of the time it’s just lazy I’ve found. Saying you agree with my favourite jacket potato filling and accompanying it with a dick pic does not an interesting opening message make. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it’s something that’s too private to post - for example another woman messaged me after a thread about horrible meets to say she’d had a similar experience with a creepy, grabby guy. Totally understood why she’d want to chat privately.
Other times it’s just an excuse to creep and that’s just not good.
Especially the chap who messaged privately from the aforementioned thread playing the weird white knight with a promise not to assault me. It’s just creepy.
Most of the time it’s just lazy I’ve found. Saying you agree with my favourite jacket potato filling and accompanying it with a dick pic does not an interesting opening message make."
Especially the potato!! |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Fair point well made !! Can I message you? Lol xx
Depends on why you want to message me I guess?
To start a conversation xxxx"
Based on this thread? Erm no, you've not said anything that I can see would warrant this being in private messages rather than on the forum |
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By *ames5169 OP Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Fair point well made !! Can I message you? Lol xx
Depends on why you want to message me I guess?
To start a conversation xxxx
Based on this thread? Erm no, you've not said anything that I can see would warrant this being in private messages rather than on the forum"
Ok |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"If it’s something that’s too private to post - for example another woman messaged me after a thread about horrible meets to say she’d had a similar experience with a creepy, grabby guy. Totally understood why she’d want to chat privately.
Other times it’s just an excuse to creep and that’s just not good.
Especially the chap who messaged privately from the aforementioned thread playing the weird white knight with a promise not to assault me. It’s just creepy.
Most of the time it’s just lazy I’ve found. Saying you agree with my favourite jacket potato filling and accompanying it with a dick pic does not an interesting opening message make.
Especially the potato!! "
Just makes me hungry
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