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Polyamorous
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh they're everywhere on here 
LvM yet to speak to any others haha
I can't think of at least two lovely forum regulars we know of, I'm sure they'll pop in at some point  "
ah let's hope! We always say it's the hardest thing ever, hard enough finding one person who likes you nevermind two who also don't mind you having the first haha |
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"Oh they're everywhere on here
LvM yet to speak to any others haha
I can't think of at least two lovely forum regulars we know of, I'm sure they'll pop in at some point ah let's hope! We always say it's the hardest thing ever, hard enough finding one person who likes you nevermind two who also don't mind you having the first haha "
We've found from our experience and from talking to others it's much harder for poly guys than women.
We did both match with the same girl on f eeld and she likes us both so thats a result. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Poly here, as are a lot of people
A good friend is solo poly.
I don't make much of it as I don't think people are really looking for relationships on here, maybe they are.
But as others have said, there are likely to be better platforms, where people get what poly is etc and it isn't another lie to cover up cheating  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Poly here, as are a lot of people
A good friend is solo poly.
I don't make much of it as I don't think people are really looking for relationships on here, maybe they are.
But as others have said, there are likely to be better platforms, where people get what poly is etc and it isn't another lie to cover up cheating "
oh definately that seems to be a massive problem as the popularity of it increases so do the fakers |
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"Me
Personally I prefer OK Cupid to Feeld we did try that before didn't get very far aha "
Sorry to hear that. It's where I've found the most polyamorous people and where I met one of my partners. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me
Personally I prefer OK Cupid to Feeld we did try that before didn't get very far aha
Sorry to hear that. It's where I've found the most polyamorous people and where I met one of my partners. "
oh that's awesome we might have to give it another go, we've realised it's definately easier for us poly females than it is for the male half |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" oh definately that seems to be a massive problem as the popularity of it increases so do the fakers "
True, but, like lots of fakers they are fairly easy to spot with a few well-chosen questions |
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"Me
Personally I prefer OK Cupid to Feeld we did try that before didn't get very far aha
Sorry to hear that. It's where I've found the most polyamorous people and where I met one of my partners. oh that's awesome we might have to give it another go, we've realised it's definately easier for us poly females than it is for the male half "
It can be but then my partners seem to come by serious dates far more than me. I get more offers but I get messed about more. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" oh definately that seems to be a massive problem as the popularity of it increases so do the fakers
True, but, like lots of fakers they are fairly easy to spot with a few well-chosen questions"
my favourite is, how do you deal with jealousy? If they say figure it out on their own then great, if they say stop someone from doing that thing then nah |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me
Personally I prefer OK Cupid to Feeld we did try that before didn't get very far aha
Sorry to hear that. It's where I've found the most polyamorous people and where I met one of my partners. oh that's awesome we might have to give it another go, we've realised it's definately easier for us poly females than it is for the male half
It can be but then my partners seem to come by serious dates far more than me. I get more offers but I get messed about more. "
ah damn I'm sorry to hear that hopefully that doesn't happen too often! |
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"Me
Personally I prefer OK Cupid to Feeld we did try that before didn't get very far aha
Sorry to hear that. It's where I've found the most polyamorous people and where I met one of my partners. oh that's awesome we might have to give it another go, we've realised it's definately easier for us poly females than it is for the male half
It can be but then my partners seem to come by serious dates far more than me. I get more offers but I get messed about more. ah damn I'm sorry to hear that hopefully that doesn't happen too often! "
It used to but as far as serious relationships go I'm pretty happy with my lot now so I don't really do much proper dating anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my favourite is, how do you deal with jealousy? If they say figure it out on their own then great, if they say stop someone from doing that thing then nah "
The "only dick in the group" mentality |
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"my favourite is, how do you deal with jealousy? If they say figure it out on their own then great, if they say stop someone from doing that thing then nah
The "only dick in the group" mentality "
One penis policy?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my favourite is, how do you deal with jealousy? If they say figure it out on their own then great, if they say stop someone from doing that thing then nah
The "only dick in the group" mentality
One penis policy? "
Yeah sorry, couldn't think of the right phrase, thank you |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Proudly polyamorous, absolutely love it. That's not to say every dynamic I've been in has been perfect, I'm far from it. But I'm a lot happier and lucky to have the support and love of wonderful people. I've not really connected with many poly folk away from fab, bar Twitter, it might be an avenue I explore, one day. |
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"my favourite is, how do you deal with jealousy? If they say figure it out on their own then great, if they say stop someone from doing that thing then nah
The "only dick in the group" mentality
One penis policy?
Yeah sorry, couldn't think of the right phrase, thank you "
No worries |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Proudly polyamorous, absolutely love it. That's not to say every dynamic I've been in has been perfect, I'm far from it. But I'm a lot happier and lucky to have the support and love of wonderful people. I've not really connected with many poly folk away from fab, bar Twitter, it might be an avenue I explore, one day. "
we're always open to more polyamorous friends! Can never have too many! |
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Another poly one here.
Been on the feely site for 2 months and it would be great if you lived in London, even the ones that come up within a few miles often say London based so they could do with getting their geography right. |
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By *Ivy xCouple
over a year ago
Belper |
"Another poly one here.
Been on the feely site for 2 months and it would be great if you lived in London, even the ones that come up within a few miles often say London based so they could do with getting their geography right. "
Someone come take her on a date will ya, I'm tired of being the only constant fucking delight in her life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another poly one here.
Been on the feely site for 2 months and it would be great if you lived in London, even the ones that come up within a few miles often say London based so they could do with getting their geography right. "
we've just tried it and could agree more with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also poly here I have tried f leed as well but to no avail but maybe just because I’m a single guy, like on here can be hard work to stand out from the time wasters and dreamers.
But just thought I’d pop up and say hi to my fellow poly swingers |
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you can literally have your cake, eat it, from an all you can eat buffet. and membership rules. i hope one is you can't call yourself poly until actually your doing it. single guy surely cant be allowed membership, if your single, your single, saying your poly but single citing fakers and hard to meet other poly,s as to why this is so seems lame |
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"you can literally have your cake, eat it, from an all you can eat buffet. and membership rules. i hope one is you can't call yourself poly until actually your doing it. single guy surely cant be allowed membership, if your single, your single, saying your poly but single citing fakers and hard to meet other poly,s as to why this is so seems lame "
I disagree. If I split up from both my partners I would still identify as polyamorous and I would be seeking polyamorous relationships. I feel that not to say so would be deceiving anyone I was to date as I have no interest in monogamous relationships. |
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By *for2Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
I'm never quite sure if I can be classed as polyamorous or not. As I've gotten older I realised I was never really happy being monogamous. I've always preferred being in relationships different people provide different experiences.But, more importantly different people provide different emotional, intellectual, and physical needs that need fulfilling. I've always felt that if 'faithfulness' wasn't an issue and people accepted that fidelity either sexual or emotional wasnt necessarily a 'one person thing' and we were taught that jealousy is a useless and self destructive feeling then happiness, mental wellbeing and fulfilment would be a lot more prevalent than it is. If that makes me poly then I'm happy to be poly if it doesn't then I'm happy to carry on being whatever I am. |
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Most people here are searching for a unicorn . we started our in poly
With my pervious sub slut cherry id profile with her before Maya
Had few join us over the years but never found a full time replace ment
For Cherry. |
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"you can literally have your cake, eat it, from an all you can eat buffet. and membership rules. i hope one is you can't call yourself poly until actually your doing it. single guy surely cant be allowed membership, if your single, your single, saying your poly but single citing fakers and hard to meet other poly,s as to why this is so seems lame
I disagree. If I split up from both my partners I would still identify as polyamorous and I would be seeking polyamorous relationships. I feel that not to say so would be deceiving anyone I was to date as I have no interest in monogamous relationships. "
nothing to disagree with really, outlining my stance on guidelines for when you can and can't identify as poly, i don't have one and i wouldn't make the shortlist to write it either, was comment really on where i can see single guys going with this one.
silly question next bit but curious.
the need to identify, do people feel they are being questioned so its a response to that or other way around, implusion to state it as a sign they belong to a group? if you couldn't identify as polyamorous, the term didn't exist, does it change anything for you or how your viewed can you set your own rules based around a template. its not q and a and im not dimbleby but idont google shit if i don't understand as my un-conscious bias will inevitable lead me to find a way to blame Facebook in some way |
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"I'm never quite sure if I can be classed as polyamorous or not. As I've gotten older I realised I was never really happy being monogamous. I've always preferred being in relationships different people provide different experiences.But, more importantly different people provide different emotional, intellectual, and physical needs that need fulfilling. I've always felt that if 'faithfulness' wasn't an issue and people accepted that fidelity either sexual or emotional wasnt necessarily a 'one person thing' and we were taught that jealousy is a useless and self destructive feeling then happiness, mental wellbeing and fulfilment would be a lot more prevalent than it is. If that makes me poly then I'm happy to be poly if it doesn't then I'm happy to carry on being whatever I am. "
Sounds like poly to me. Typically poly people communicate their need/desire to have relationships with multiple people, keeping that out in the open and allowing space to navigate the complexities. Personally I use “polyamorous” as a short way of saying “ethical non-monogamy”.. but others have a stricter definition closer to “multiple long term relationships”.
Also… most poly people experience jealousy. It’s not “a useless emotion”, it’s a great teacher. It shows you what you want, what you’re clinging to, what you’re afraid of. The “useless” bit is the classic response that jealousy must lead to anger, or worse violence; or that it is an excuse to attempt to control another person’s behaviour.
A lucky few don’t experience jealousy.
Personally, I’ve felt it in some relationships and not others. When It shows up, I take a bit of time to work out why. If necessary, I may act on what I’ve learned, but often it’s enough to just know “myself” and carry on. |
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"you can literally have your cake, eat it, from an all you can eat buffet. and membership rules. i hope one is you can't call yourself poly until actually your doing it. single guy surely cant be allowed membership, if your single, your single, saying your poly but single citing fakers and hard to meet other poly,s as to why this is so seems lame
I disagree. If I split up from both my partners I would still identify as polyamorous and I would be seeking polyamorous relationships. I feel that not to say so would be deceiving anyone I was to date as I have no interest in monogamous relationships.
nothing to disagree with really, outlining my stance on guidelines for when you can and can't identify as poly, i don't have one and i wouldn't make the shortlist to write it either, was comment really on where i can see single guys going with this one.
silly question next bit but curious.
the need to identify, do people feel they are being questioned so its a response to that or other way around, implusion to state it as a sign they belong to a group? if you couldn't identify as polyamorous, the term didn't exist, does it change anything for you or how your viewed can you set your own rules based around a template. its not q and a and im not dimbleby but idont google shit if i don't understand as my un-conscious bias will inevitable lead me to find a way to blame Facebook in some way "
I'm afraid I don't really understand the question. |
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Potted site reviews:
“Alright Eros” used to be the best site for meeting people, but then it was bought out by a rival and destroyed. It’s now pretty much completely useless – just shows you the same people over and over again, no matter how many times you reject them.
“Pitch” is great on paper, but experiences seem to vary highly depending on where you’re based. If you’re in London, Manchester or Birmingham, I’m sure it’s amazing. East Deadlands, though? Not so much. The app is also quite buggy.
Oh, and addressing the central topic of the thread: I’m not sure I’d use the word “poly”, but I’m definitely ethically non-monogamous. Most of my partners are poly people fitting me in around their existing relationship dynamics, which suits me fine.
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"you can literally have your cake, eat it, from an all you can eat buffet. and membership rules. i hope one is you can't call yourself poly until actually your doing it. single guy surely cant be allowed membership, if your single, your single, saying your poly but single citing fakers and hard to meet other poly,s as to why this is so seems lame
I disagree. If I split up from both my partners I would still identify as polyamorous and I would be seeking polyamorous relationships. I feel that not to say so would be deceiving anyone I was to date as I have no interest in monogamous relationships.
nothing to disagree with really, outlining my stance on guidelines for when you can and can't identify as poly, i don't have one and i wouldn't make the shortlist to write it either, was comment really on where i can see single guys going with this one.
silly question next bit but curious.
the need to identify, do people feel they are being questioned so its a response to that or other way around, implusion to state it as a sign they belong to a group? if you couldn't identify as polyamorous, the term didn't exist, does it change anything for you or how your viewed can you set your own rules based around a template. its not q and a and im not dimbleby but idont google shit if i don't understand as my un-conscious bias will inevitable lead me to find a way to blame Facebook in some way
I'm afraid I don't really understand the question. "
i couldn't have worded it any worse or more confusing than i already did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One half of a poly couple here, currently planning a 2023 wedding.
I've just started looking for a partner after my previous relationship broke down last year, but haven't really found what I'm looking for on fab |
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"you can literally have your cake, eat it, from an all you can eat buffet. and membership rules. i hope one is you can't call yourself poly until actually your doing it. single guy surely cant be allowed membership, if your single, your single, saying your poly but single citing fakers and hard to meet other poly,s as to why this is so seems lame
I disagree. If I split up from both my partners I would still identify as polyamorous and I would be seeking polyamorous relationships. I feel that not to say so would be deceiving anyone I was to date as I have no interest in monogamous relationships.
nothing to disagree with really, outlining my stance on guidelines for when you can and can't identify as poly, i don't have one and i wouldn't make the shortlist to write it either, was comment really on where i can see single guys going with this one.
silly question next bit but curious.
the need to identify, do people feel they are being questioned so its a response to that or other way around, implusion to state it as a sign they belong to a group? if you couldn't identify as polyamorous, the term didn't exist, does it change anything for you or how your viewed can you set your own rules based around a template. its not q and a and im not dimbleby but idont google shit if i don't understand as my un-conscious bias will inevitable lead me to find a way to blame Facebook in some way "
Poly is what you are, rather than the situation you are in.
You can be poly, split up from your partners and still be poly, because you have the ability and desire to love multiple people at once.
If you are single, you are a single poly.
What your saying is like saying you can't be gay, or bi unless you are currently seeing someone of the same sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any other poly peeps on here? We'd love to get to know more polyamorous people "
Of course you’d love to, you Poly peeps love everything. ….
*it’s a joke!! |
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