FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is it worth the effort?
Is it worth the effort?
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Does anyone else sometimes wonder if it’s worth all the effort being on here? We love the social side that this brings and have made some great friends but when it comes to finding people to actually have sex with it does feel like hard work sometimes.
I’m not talking about a quickie as yeah if that’s what I wanted that’s easy enough to find. I’m talking about finding people who you click with and are attracted to that you want to have quality sex with.
A guy cancelled on me yesterday and sure it could be genuine, I know life gets in the way but I’ll never know. It’s not the first time and when it happens it does make me question us being on here. I know I’m not going to everyones liking but I think I scrub up ok and I have a decent personality. I’m pretty laid back and don’t demand too much I guess I just never thought finding people to have sex with would be this difficult.
Anyone else?
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be a effort for sometimes
Sometimes not all just depends
I blame covid and the news headlines in recent years for the influxe off none genie people
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've arranged meets as a single and couple, made loads of fantasy situations a reality. Never had a no show.
It took some work, sent lots of messages before I found suitable people. But always very good fun.
Not looking to meet people off here anymore so don't know the current situation. It works for what I use the site for.
If it's not working the way you want, try new things or use it for something else? |
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"Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night."
We do go to clubs and they are a good night out but when it comes to actually playing we often don’t find people we’re interested in and end up playing together. I don’t find sex in clubs does it for me as much as more personal meets. Partly because the build up to meeting someone is a bit part of it for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn’t seem that hard to us and yes it’s “worth it”
We are discerning and we’re not in a rush.
(Not saying you are)
We have appropriate safeguards and red flag rules and reckon we can achieve our desires as and when we want to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night.
We do go to clubs and they are a good night out but when it comes to actually playing we often don’t find people we’re interested in and end up playing together. I don’t find sex in clubs does it for me as much as more personal meets. Partly because the build up to meeting someone is a bit part of it for me. "
You could always try pre arranged meets in clubs. That way you’ve still got options if they no show.
I’m really beginning to think this is more of a problem in the North East. We’ve spoken to a few local couples who all say the same things yet when we were in Manchester a few weeks ago we were inundated with offers. |
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"I've arranged meets as a single and couple, made loads of fantasy situations a reality. Never had a no show.
It took some work, sent lots of messages before I found suitable people. But always very good fun.
Not looking to meet people off here anymore so don't know the current situation. It works for what I use the site for.
If it's not working the way you want, try new things or use it for something else? "
We’ve never had a no show yet. Just people cancel on the day. I’m not saying it’s all been bad. We’ve had some great meets. Just going through a bit of a dry spell I think and getting me down. |
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"Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night."
Exactly this. We don’t tend to use fab to organise anything. We put meets up for clubs as it’s then a sexy night out and if we meet people we click with and wanna get dirty with it’s an even sexier night out!
I think a lot of people put too much preassure on socials and private meets. We’ve only just started again with private and even then we wouldn’t actively look for them. |
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"I very often can't be arsed with the whole sex kinda thing on here. I seem to lose interest quite easily. Having a laugh, the forums & a guess the social side of things is fine. "
Can’t be arsed is going on my gravestone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I gave up trying to find meets in fab a long time ago. Just here for the friends made on the forum. But hopefully the right person finds me. "
Sorry you’re feeling rubbish by the way OP. sending strength. |
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"Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night.
We do go to clubs and they are a good night out but when it comes to actually playing we often don’t find people we’re interested in and end up playing together. I don’t find sex in clubs does it for me as much as more personal meets. Partly because the build up to meeting someone is a bit part of it for me. "
Speaking as a solo guy, the club scene has been a huge let-down for me, and I don’t have any plans to go to any more. Like yourself, it was rare to meet someone you actually wanted to have sex with, and if you did, you have the ‘luxury’ of a sweaty judo mat……
I’ve been using Fab for over 10 years now, to meet likeminded friendly people, for fun private meets, and continue to do so. I’ve never let anyone down, but have had some cancel on me. Life can get in the way at times, but I run a two strikes and you’re out rule. There are plenty of pebbles on the beach (more if you’re a solo female or couple admittedly) Keep the faith |
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"Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night.
Exactly this. We don’t tend to use fab to organise anything. We put meets up for clubs as it’s then a sexy night out and if we meet people we click with and wanna get dirty with it’s an even sexier night out!
I think a lot of people put too much preassure on socials and private meets. We’ve only just started again with private and even then we wouldn’t actively look for them."
We do use clubs too, I think it’s just that we find private meets are a different experience and what we do prefer. It’s good to have the variety of different types of meets. |
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By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
"Does anyone else sometimes wonder if it’s worth all the effort being on here?
Anyone else?
Kx"
Honestly….no!
I could sight many many instances name names but simply put maybe one out of 100 are worth it. Haven’t found that one in fan yet though lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night.
Exactly this. We don’t tend to use fab to organise anything. We put meets up for clubs as it’s then a sexy night out and if we meet people we click with and wanna get dirty with it’s an even sexier night out!
I think a lot of people put too much preassure on socials and private meets. We’ve only just started again with private and even then we wouldn’t actively look for them."
Obviously clubs aren’t for everyone but for us it kills 2 birds with one stone. A good night out and an opportunity to meet someone. Usually we book a hotel and make a weekend of it so it’s win win. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say it is worth the effort…
Although I really do feel you with cancellations. Absolutely anyone has the right to change their mind or something comes up - whatever it may be.
It still feels awful for the other person like yourself, especially when you’ve been looking forward and getting yourself ready. It can make you question things.
But having said that I do think it’s worth it, because there are some diamonds on here… it’s just a matter of finding them…
Hang on in there with your search it is worth it x |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
On this profile, I'm mainly here for the forum's and to keep in touch with people .
On our couple profile it's v hard to find other couples and get 4 way attraction and availability,so we will use a club if we want to meet together .
It does seem to be getting harder , judging by some of the recent forum posts . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have an admission
I’m one of the people who comes and goes from here.
However since taking part in the forums I’m enjoying it more
No expectations that’s the way I look at it |
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"I would say it is worth the effort…
Although I really do feel you with cancellations. Absolutely anyone has the right to change their mind or something comes up - whatever it may be.
It still feels awful for the other person like yourself, especially when you’ve been looking forward and getting yourself ready. It can make you question things.
But having said that I do think it’s worth it, because there are some diamonds on here… it’s just a matter of finding them…
Hang on in there with your search it is worth it x"
Oh I know there are and we have had some great meets. Just finding it difficult on here at the moment I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say it is worth the effort…
Although I really do feel you with cancellations. Absolutely anyone has the right to change their mind or something comes up - whatever it may be.
It still feels awful for the other person like yourself, especially when you’ve been looking forward and getting yourself ready. It can make you question things.
But having said that I do think it’s worth it, because there are some diamonds on here… it’s just a matter of finding them…
Hang on in there with your search it is worth it x
Oh I know there are and we have had some great meets. Just finding it difficult on here at the moment I guess. "
Yeah I think it’s quite common to go through phases like that I’m sorry to hear that though. Remember it’s just a phase it’ll pick up again I know it will |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear you’re feeling low OP.
I’ve found that I enjoy the site alot more now that I don’t meet from here.
If I want, I’ll go to a club with friends but I love the pressure free feeling of not actively looking for meets.
This works for me anyway |
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We can meet just anyone but as most of us won't be compatible with most other people, it takes a lot of effort to filter out those who are not.
Filtering out the unreliable can be toughest but experience helps. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
We haven’t bothered to arrange anything in over two years, we don’t have the fab mojo to look and have kept ourselves pretty low key so only chatting to a couple of people we have not met before, we generally just stay in touch with friends, had one club visit and a GC trip, to be honest the whole scene just doesn’t seem the same anymore, all seems a bit blah |
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This site thrives on the possibility of getting sex, not the reality. Rather like going to the pub.
There are plenty of other ways to find sex (excluding, again, the pub) but in my experience you cant beat conventional dating sites.
Otherwise, as so many posters keep saying, go to suitable clubs. Money well spent if you want a result.
If you still don't get anything it is probably time to give up or watch a video with Mrs Palmer! |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
My feelings these days are that unless a fella trips over and lands in me cock first, sex just isn’t worth the bother.
I’m hoping it’s all hormonal but yeah, the “can’t be arsed ness” is strong with me right now.
I’m sure things will pick up again for you soon OP, you’re a gorgeous lady - Summer will be here soon, and all the horny folk will be on here in spades! |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
Yeah, it worth the effort.
Just make sure you have genuine conversation, share face pics and social coffee before
Happy to meet single lady or a couple if anyone interested and around London or SE |
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"Does anyone else sometimes wonder if it’s worth all the effort being on here? We love the social side that this brings and have made some great friends but when it comes to finding people to actually have sex with it does feel like hard work sometimes.
I’m not talking about a quickie as yeah if that’s what I wanted that’s easy enough to find. I’m talking about finding people who you click with and are attracted to that you want to have quality sex with.
A guy cancelled on me yesterday and sure it could be genuine, I know life gets in the way but I’ll never know. It’s not the first time and when it happens it does make me question us being on here. I know I’m not going to everyones liking but I think I scrub up ok and I have a decent personality. I’m pretty laid back and don’t demand too much I guess I just never thought finding people to have sex with would be this difficult.
Anyone else?
Kx"
I think you are definitely worth the effort.
You are sexy, kind, delightful and lovely. Just do what suits you and _iddlesticks to the rest. |
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"My feelings these days are that unless a fella trips over and lands in me cock first, sex just isn’t worth the bother.
I’m hoping it’s all hormonal but yeah, the “can’t be arsed ness” is strong with me right now.
I’m sure things will pick up again for you soon OP, you’re a gorgeous lady - Summer will be here soon, and all the horny folk will be on here in spades! "
Looks for banana skin and quick release trousers...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly? No, it’s not worth the effort at all. Meets are getting harder and harder to arrange and there’s more fantasists and time wasters than ever.
We will still try and meet but we mostly use fab for clubs and for the forums. At least in clubs if you don’t get to meet someone you can still have a great night.
We do go to clubs and they are a good night out but when it comes to actually playing we often don’t find people we’re interested in and end up playing together. I don’t find sex in clubs does it for me as much as more personal meets. Partly because the build up to meeting someone is a bit part of it for me.
Speaking as a solo guy, the club scene has been a huge let-down for me, and I don’t have any plans to go to any more. Like yourself, it was rare to meet someone you actually wanted to have sex with, and if you did, you have the ‘luxury’ of a sweaty judo mat……
I’ve been using Fab for over 10 years now, to meet likeminded friendly people, for fun private meets, and continue to do so. I’ve never let anyone down, but have had some cancel on me. Life can get in the way at times, but I run a two strikes and you’re out rule. There are plenty of pebbles on the beach (more if you’re a solo female or couple admittedly) Keep the faith "
Sweaty judo mat!! So true.
Sticky or covered in undetermined liquid. |
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If you are on here to meet people for sex your wasting your time. We are only realistically on here for chat and forums,if we get a meet its a bonus, there's so many time wasters on here its hard to believe. |
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