FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What would you do?
What would you do?
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By *iona OP Woman
over a year ago
outskirts |
I've recently had a phone interaction with a man that I met on another site. We chatted through the app and then eventually we had a couple of phone conversations. We teally hit it off which is rare. Should mention this site is more of a dating site.
We planned to meet after about 2 weeks of chatting. He called about an hour before we were scheduled to meet to make sure all was okay and the meet was still going ahead.
While on the phone he asked if I was on any other sites. I told him I was. Mentioned this site. We continued chatting. I showed for the meet as planned. It quickly became obvious he wasnt goinh to show as he was a half an hour late. He eventually rang and he said he'd call over the next couple of days to "talk and set up another date," which he never did. I feel disappointed and perplexed by this incident. I've never been comfortable chasing after men, so I'm not sure what to do. "Confused".
Part of me wonders if my being on fab was the problem and don't know if I should cut my losses ir ask him straight out. What would you do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck him. His loss. Maybe don't mention fab next time x"
She shouldn’t have to keep it hidden. He’s a timewaster. Even if he staunchly disapproved of this site, he still shouldn’t have stood her up. And then the arrogant prick calls her up again to arrange another meet?
Nah, jog on pal, you cheeky bastard.
X |
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"Fuck him. His loss. Maybe don't mention fab next time x
She shouldn’t have to keep it hidden. He’s a timewaster. Even if he staunchly disapproved of this site, he still shouldn’t have stood her up. And then the arrogant prick calls her up again to arrange another meet?
Nah, jog on pal, you cheeky bastard.
X"
Yep, see your point wise one. Like he was ever going to get a second go x |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
Some vanilla guys just wouldn't be comfortable dating a girl on Fab  just like some girls wouldn't be dating a guy on Fab.
People on the outside will probably have a negative opinion on swingers most based on assumptions/prejudice  .
If I wasn't a Swinger I would most likely not have dated a swinger |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Delete and move on. He stood you up! What a twat. "
Exactly, whatever the reason he stood you up knowing you were sat there waiting. Forget him.
In future I’d either bring fab up earlier or wait until you meet, if at all . Right before a date isn’t wise. But what sites your on is really your business as long as your straight about being non-monogamous you don’t need to disclose the websites you use do you ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Strong, independent sexy, sexual women scare some people. Maybe he's a little intimidated x"
Intimidated!! That's the word i was trying to pull out of my foggy brain |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
"Delete and move on. He stood you up! What a twat.
Exactly, whatever the reason he stood you up knowing you were sat there waiting. Forget him.
In future I’d either bring fab up earlier or wait until you meet, if at all . Right before a date isn’t wise. But what sites your on is really your business as long as your straight about being non-monogamous you don’t need to disclose the websites you use do you ?"
Well said mate  |
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"Yeah, he didn't like you being on here.
A lot of men don't.
I dont like a lot of men. Or even most of them. 
Block/counter block and move on. Xx"
Oh, thankfully, we love you, and all the other fantastic ladies on here  x |
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"I’m more vanilla than a tub of Wall’s. It would be utterly ironic if a guy stood me up for being on Fab. Reckon I’d be kinda proud of myself though "
If they stand you up, you wouldn't second chance them. All ladies, be proud. There are lots if arseholes, but them out for the honest ones x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd leave it if I were you op
Even if he was put off by fab ,he didn't have to not show and leave it over half an hour to then ring you and make an excuse."
Exactly x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP look at you, you look great. If a man would mess you around like this he isn’t man enough for you. Move on and enjoy whatever you find that makes you feel right x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m more vanilla than a tub of Wall’s. It would be utterly ironic if a guy stood me up for being on Fab. Reckon I’d be kinda proud of myself though
If they stand you up, you wouldn't second chance them. All ladies, be proud. There are lots if arseholes, but them out for the honest ones x"
Do you know what Fifey, I have never not regretted giving a second chance.
If it’s not right, it’s not right and there’s no point forcing it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd leave it if I were you op
Even if he was put off by fab ,he didn't have to not show and leave it over half an hour to then ring you and make an excuse."
Indeed. Weak, feeble, inconsiderate and cowardly all come to mind. Qualities I’m sure that OP does not need. His loss. Chalk it up and move in. |
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Delete & move on.
He changed his mind, and did not have the courtesy to tell you beforehand. You'll never know the reason, so don't waste any more time on him, or second guessing yourself.
Plenty more decent guys out there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hugs I personally don’t get that just because someone on fab makes them any less desirable to date or anything
I see no difference bween someone have
10 meets on fab
Or 10 one night stands though a date app
Or 10 one night stands from a night club or pub
Could be 100 for all I care could be 1000 or 1 million
Dosent make them any less desirable
People are single and free do do as they please
They weren’t with me or I didn’t know them at the time so it’s none off
My business what they go up to
And right for the get go
I would sit down have a chat with them
About if they want open closed or semi closed
If they want open ok go head I would love to know what they got up to
If they want semi closed then ok tell me a little leave things out if they want
If they want closed then ok then it’s none off my business what happened before me
But please I never want to here it or off it
What happened in the past stays there
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
Just text him and tell him you had a lovely time that night (as if he had turned up or you had a great time without him) but you no longer think you are compatible so you wish him the best and you will be blocking him now. Then block him. And move onwards and upwards to better things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd leave it if I were you op
Even if he was put off by fab ,he didn't have to not show and leave it over half an hour to then ring you and make an excuse.
Indeed. Weak, feeble, inconsiderate and cowardly all come to mind. Qualities I’m sure that OP does not need. His loss. Chalk it up and move in. "
Move in? Yes please lol .. joke.. move on of course x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just text him and tell him you had a lovely time that night (as if he had turned up or you had a great time without him) but you no longer think you are compatible so you wish him the best and you will be blocking him now. Then block him. And move onwards and upwards to better things "
Sounds a bit petty imho. Why invent things just to get one up? Mature thing would to just ignore and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd leave it if I were you op
Even if he was put off by fab ,he didn't have to not show and leave it over half an hour to then ring you and make an excuse.
Indeed. Weak, feeble, inconsiderate and cowardly all come to mind. Qualities I’m sure that OP does not need. His loss. Chalk it up and move in.
Move in? Yes please lol .. joke.. move on of course x"
Ha ha yes. Never move in after the first stand up. Always wait to be stood up at least three times before going domestic |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"Just text him and tell him you had a lovely time that night (as if he had turned up or you had a great time without him) but you no longer think you are compatible so you wish him the best and you will be blocking him now. Then block him. And move onwards and upwards to better things
Sounds a bit petty imho. Why invent things just to get one up? Mature thing would to just ignore and move on. "
Not about getting one up. Sometimes reframing a situation that was bad into a good one helps to move onwards. Otherwise you can just keep overthinking it and wondering “what if” and taking back control by telling him there’s no second chance can give you back your confidence as a single person again. And blocking stops then from coming back and trying again when they are lonely/horny and putting you through those emotions again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just text him and tell him you had a lovely time that night (as if he had turned up or you had a great time without him) but you no longer think you are compatible so you wish him the best and you will be blocking him now. Then block him. And move onwards and upwards to better things
Sounds a bit petty imho. Why invent things just to get one up? Mature thing would to just ignore and move on.
Not about getting one up. Sometimes reframing a situation that was bad into a good one helps to move onwards. Otherwise you can just keep overthinking it and wondering “what if” and taking back control by telling him there’s no second chance can give you back your confidence as a single person again. And blocking stops then from coming back and trying again when they are lonely/horny and putting you through those emotions again. "
Ok. Still seems unnecessary. But I get your point that psychologically some might dwell on something and fester rather than just move on. So as a form of closure maybe it would help. Personally wouldn't waste time on such nonsense.
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"I've recently had a phone interaction with a man that I met on another site. We chatted through the app and then eventually we had a couple of phone conversations. We teally hit it off which is rare. Should mention this site is more of a dating site.
We planned to meet after about 2 weeks of chatting. He called about an hour before we were scheduled to meet to make sure all was okay and the meet was still going ahead.
While on the phone he asked if I was on any other sites. I told him I was. Mentioned this site. We continued chatting. I showed for the meet as planned. It quickly became obvious he wasnt goinh to show as he was a half an hour late. He eventually rang and he said he'd call over the next couple of days to "talk and set up another date," which he never did. I feel disappointed and perplexed by this incident. I've never been comfortable chasing after men, so I'm not sure what to do. "Confused".
Part of me wonders if my being on fab was the problem and don't know if I should cut my losses ir ask him straight out. What would you do?"
It dosent matter what his reasons was, he stood you up.
He had every opportunity to tell you he wasn't coming for whatever reason.
You owe him nothing and should waste no further time on him. Block, delete or whatever and move on. |
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I'd share very intimate personal information only with people I'd met, above and beyond what I chose to include on a profile. I'd assess suitability for meeting via the phone but leave it there. Not all questions asked by a stranger, deserve full intimate disclosure, until trust is earned.
That man would have completely lost all chances. He would be dumped. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Move on and block.
And he is a proper twat. How the hell do you miss a chance like that  "
Why is he a twat?
Miss a chance of what? A fuck?
Maybe he just doesn't want to date a swinger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Move on and block.
And he is a proper twat. How the hell do you miss a chance like that
Why is he a twat?
Miss a chance of what? A fuck?
Maybe he just doesn't want to date a swinger. "
This to be fair, maybe the reason was Fab which his perogative of course, swinging or swingers aren't for everyone but it was rude of him to stand you up, he owed you that explanation at least
I would move on and indulge yourself in all Fab has to offer and enjoy |
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OP. Be yourself then if it goes anywhere guys will know what they are getting.
Did you tell him your Fab handle? Maybe he could not hack your pictures of you and other guys?
ps Did you write the "I will survive" send up? It is great. |
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By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
If someone messes you about like that then giving them a second chance is offering them a free slap to ur face for the second time around.
As others have said best to give him a swerve and move on. It’s hard when you feel like you made a connection I know but actions speak louder than words. And as nice as he may have seemed in chats he left you high and dry… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like he got cold feet, possibly knowing that you were on a swingers site he figured it wouldnt go much further than a few dates and/or sex so he cut his losses but hid his reasons why.
Put yourself in his shoes, hes a single guy (i should imagine hes single), hes chasing women left and right, trying to get matched up, chat with women, hope a date can be arranged and that you hit it off etc. Any sign of a woman being less than likely to commit to forming a relationship, in your case being on a sex site, a guy is gonna cut his losses before investing so much time and effort into a woman.
What you should ask yourself when it comes to dating with the intentions of having a relationship, is the swinging lifestyle really so important to you that a potential suiter needs to know about it before you get serious? Do you intend to keep swinging while in a relationship or will you monogamous?
By telling new dates that youre on a sex site, you immediately introduce them to all the skeletons in your closet, that can be enough to frighten off some ppl. Certain things should only be brought out into the open once a serious connection is established and your new partner has seen that you are committed to them, so they dont do a runner when they start to learn more about your previous single lifestyle |
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"I've recently had a phone interaction with a man that I met on another site. We chatted through the app and then eventually we had a couple of phone conversations. We teally hit it off which is rare. Should mention this site is more of a dating site.
We planned to meet after about 2 weeks of chatting. He called about an hour before we were scheduled to meet to make sure all was okay and the meet was still going ahead.
While on the phone he asked if I was on any other sites. I told him I was. Mentioned this site. We continued chatting. I showed for the meet as planned. It quickly became obvious he wasnt goinh to show as he was a half an hour late. He eventually rang and he said he'd call over the next couple of days to "talk and set up another date," which he never did. I feel disappointed and perplexed by this incident. I've never been comfortable chasing after men, so I'm not sure what to do. "Confused".
Part of me wonders if my being on fab was the problem and don't know if I should cut my losses ir ask him straight out. What would you do?"
Had this situation, when asked about any other site I always say no. He's probably going to join this site, he may already be on it now. Sorry to say he's just used your chats to get information. Has happened a few times to me |
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By *iona OP Woman
over a year ago
outskirts |
"I've recently had a phone interaction with a man that I met on another site. We chatted through the app and then eventually we had a couple of phone conversations. We teally hit it off which is rare. Should mention this site is more of a dating site.
We planned to meet after about 2 weeks of chatting. He called about an hour before we were scheduled to meet to make sure all was okay and the meet was still going ahead.
While on the phone he asked if I was on any other sites. I told him I was. Mentioned this site. We continued chatting. I showed for the meet as planned. It quickly became obvious he wasnt goinh to show as he was a half an hour late. He eventually rang and he said he'd call over the next couple of days to "talk and set up another date," which he never did. I feel disappointed and perplexed by this incident. I've never been comfortable chasing after men, so I'm not sure what to do. "Confused".
Part of me wonders if my being on fab was the problem and don't know if I should cut my losses ir ask him straight out. What would you do?
Had this situation, when asked about any other site I always say no. He's probably going to join this site, he may already be on it now. Sorry to say he's just used your chats to get information. Has happened a few times to me"
Thanks |
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