FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why be a letdown
Why be a letdown
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Just wondered why certain people (I'll say it MEN), Feel the need to be let downs and not turn up.
I haven't had anyone not turn up to meet me, but I see on a daily basis, mostly females, putting that they've been let down. Are men stupid? I struggle to get my messages read let alone get to organising a meet!
SERIOUSLY men stop being idiots!
Here endeth my rant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered why certain people (I'll say it MEN), Feel the need to be let downs and not turn up.
I haven't had anyone not turn up to meet me, but I see on a daily basis, mostly females, putting that they've been let down. Are men stupid? I struggle to get my messages read let alone get to organising a meet!
SERIOUSLY men stop being idiots!
Here endeth my rant"
I'm not saying your bloke bashing but some women and couples do the no show thing too.
Some people are just the way they are regardless of gender  |
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You can't paint all missed meets with the one brush sometimes life gets in the way. We all have a life outside of fab. If you have organised one you should go but unfortunately that isn't always possible |
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I've never had a no show or been one but as already said it's not just men who don't show up. Sometimes there's a perfectly good reason and it's just the lack of communication that needs addressed rather than the fact they didn't make an appearance.
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It was me painting all miss meets the same just All I've seen is males who stood people up, my bad.
Also no I don't think mine will get read because of it im not a narcissistic person. I'm just saying if you do get read and do get a chance to meet..... don't be a dick  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a rule that if i don't hear from my meet the morning of the meet I assume it's off. That way I don't bother getting ready and never get stood up."
Yeah that has caught me out before. Twice. Not checked in through the day and then they tell me that they assumed I wasn't coming. Lesson learned... I think
I have had a woman just not turn up. It's not nice having your time wasted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was me painting all miss meets the same just All I've seen is males who stood people up, my bad.
Also no I don't think mine will get read because of it im not a narcissistic person. I'm just saying if you do get read and do get a chance to meet..... don't be a dick "
Agree with this  |
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By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
"I've been Plan B on two occasions but the silence on the day told me all I needed to know so I didn't travel. "
That’s it really isn’t it everyone is lining up multiple dates in case of a let down last minute you have a back up. I’ve been both back up and the guy she cancelled the other for. I’ve just accepted that that’s how it is in this scene.
When I get the vibe I’m the backup though I politely end the chat as it’s no fun being cancelled on for someone else. |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I've been Plan B on two occasions but the silence on the day told me all I needed to know so I didn't travel.
That’s it really isn’t it everyone is lining up multiple dates in case of a let down last minute you have a back up. I’ve been both back up and the guy she cancelled the other for. I’ve just accepted that that’s how it is in this scene.
When I get the vibe I’m the backup though I politely end the chat as it’s no fun being cancelled on for someone else. "
I wouldn’t want to be anyone’s back up or plan B - I’d not do that to someone either. Imagine being with someone only because the person they really wanted was not available.  |
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"I've been Plan B on two occasions but the silence on the day told me all I needed to know so I didn't travel.
That’s it really isn’t it everyone is lining up multiple dates in case of a let down last minute you have a back up. I’ve been both back up and the guy she cancelled the other for. I’ve just accepted that that’s how it is in this scene.
When I get the vibe I’m the backup though I politely end the chat as it’s no fun being cancelled on for someone else.
I wouldn’t want to be anyone’s back up or plan B - I’d not do that to someone either. Imagine being with someone only because the person they really wanted was not available. "
On one occasion I arranged to meet a woman who had pushed for the meet and had even suggested the location as it was close to where she worked.
It was a 40 min trip in the opposite direction on my journey home from work.
She went quiet on the day and didn't reply to messages. Eventually at 3pm she apologised and said she had a lunchtime fab meet that had gone on longer than planned and would confirm if she could still meet before I left work at 5.
Complete silence until 5 mins before the agreed meet time of 6pm to say she couldn't make it.
Next morning she had a shiny new veri that even named the coffee shop we were to meet in. She even had the balls to ask me to meet again sometime later which I refused to do.
The second occasion was arranging to meet a woman who continuously started forum threads about men not turning up and how she was always let down.
In my wisdom I agreed to meet her and we organised a time and location.
The day before she posted yet another status about being let down and I messaged to say she wouldn't have to worry about me not turning up the following day.
She claimed to have no idea what I was talking about and asked if we had agreed to meet?
She said she was was unable to regardless as something else had come up but said she had no memory of anything being organised.
The morning after we were supposed to meet, same story as before, a new veri.
I knew right then what the problem was and it certainly wasn't the guys who didn't turn up. |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I've been Plan B on two occasions but the silence on the day told me all I needed to know so I didn't travel.
That’s it really isn’t it everyone is lining up multiple dates in case of a let down last minute you have a back up. I’ve been both back up and the guy she cancelled the other for. I’ve just accepted that that’s how it is in this scene.
When I get the vibe I’m the backup though I politely end the chat as it’s no fun being cancelled on for someone else.
I wouldn’t want to be anyone’s back up or plan B - I’d not do that to someone either. Imagine being with someone only because the person they really wanted was not available.
On one occasion I arranged to meet a woman who had pushed for the meet and had even suggested the location as it was close to where she worked.
It was a 40 min trip in the opposite direction on my journey home from work.
She went quiet on the day and didn't reply to messages. Eventually at 3pm she apologised and said she had a lunchtime fab meet that had gone on longer than planned and would confirm if she could still meet before I left work at 5.
Complete silence until 5 mins before the agreed meet time of 6pm to say she couldn't make it.
Next morning she had a shiny new veri that even named the coffee shop we were to meet in. She even had the balls to ask me to meet again sometime later which I refused to do.
The second occasion was arranging to meet a woman who continuously started forum threads about men not turning up and how she was always let down.
In my wisdom I agreed to meet her and we organised a time and location.
The day before she posted yet another status about being let down and I messaged to say she wouldn't have to worry about me not turning up the following day.
She claimed to have no idea what I was talking about and asked if we had agreed to meet?
She said she was was unable to regardless as something else had come up but said she had no memory of anything being organised.
The morning after we were supposed to meet, same story as before, a new veri.
I knew right then what the problem was and it certainly wasn't the guys who didn't turn up. "
That’s a shocking way to treat someone. I guess a lot of women get more offers than a lot of men so can do that. I really wouldn’t dare and to post in the forums complaining about men doing it  what a dick move! Hope she got called out! |
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By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
"I've been Plan B on two occasions but the silence on the day told me all I needed to know so I didn't travel.
That’s it really isn’t it everyone is lining up multiple dates in case of a let down last minute you have a back up. I’ve been both back up and the guy she cancelled the other for. I’ve just accepted that that’s how it is in this scene.
When I get the vibe I’m the backup though I politely end the chat as it’s no fun being cancelled on for someone else.
I wouldn’t want to be anyone’s back up or plan B - I’d not do that to someone either. Imagine being with someone only because the person they really wanted was not available.
On one occasion I arranged to meet a woman who had pushed for the meet and had even suggested the location as it was close to where she worked.
It was a 40 min trip in the opposite direction on my journey home from work.
She went quiet on the day and didn't reply to messages. Eventually at 3pm she apologised and said she had a lunchtime fab meet that had gone on longer than planned and would confirm if she could still meet before I left work at 5.
Complete silence until 5 mins before the agreed meet time of 6pm to say she couldn't make it.
Next morning she had a shiny new veri that even named the coffee shop we were to meet in. She even had the balls to ask me to meet again sometime later which I refused to do.
The second occasion was arranging to meet a woman who continuously started forum threads about men not turning up and how she was always let down.
In my wisdom I agreed to meet her and we organised a time and location.
The day before she posted yet another status about being let down and I messaged to say she wouldn't have to worry about me not turning up the following day.
She claimed to have no idea what I was talking about and asked if we had agreed to meet?
She said she was was unable to regardless as something else had come up but said she had no memory of anything being organised.
The morning after we were supposed to meet, same story as before, a new veri.
I knew right then what the problem was and it certainly wasn't the guys who didn't turn up.
That’s a shocking way to treat someone. I guess a lot of women get more offers than a lot of men so can do that. I really wouldn’t dare and to post in the forums complaining about men doing it what a dick move! Hope she got called out! "
It’s always in a womans favour naturally but even with the hundred options to pick from it is shitty to lead 3 people on and then go eany meany miny moe on the day. Especially when I’m my case I’m a single dad and opportunity for a free night is very frustrating to waste on Someone that will flake. Worse if I’ve organised a friend to sit to go for a social.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a meet with a couple and they said I was their 7th attempt!"
Oh dear lord,Thats horrible can’t even imagine having to have that many conversations to just be stood up.
Ladies to avoid this from now on please make me your fourth attempt for now and ever!!
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I think sometimes there's a genuine reason people have to cancel a meet.
Some are just fantasists who never intend to meet and just want to get their kicks
Some are time wasters who sadly enjoy leading people on .
It's not just men though,I've seen couples and women let others down on here . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never had anyone be a no show, but I talk for a good while before meeting...I've only ever had to cancel once but let him know hours beforehand. I would never just ghost someone x"
Nobody should be let down but if someone cannot turn up they should contact out of common decency |
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"I've never had anyone be a no show, but I talk for a good while before meeting...I've only ever had to cancel once but let him know hours beforehand. I would never just ghost someone x
Nobody should be let down but if someone cannot turn up they should contact out of common decency"
One of the last guys that was a no show for me posted looking for a meet on his status that night (was meant to be an afternoon meet, confirmed at 10am) and had the cheek to add “No time wasters please - I’m sick of them”  |
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Sadly its life Jim but not as we know it .
Mutual respect and considerations
Gone out of the window.these days .
Hence no shows and decent explaining in time to arrange another meet. Just letdowns
Here endeth my grumpy old man
Rant with my two penny worth. |
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"Had a meet with a couple and they said I was their 7th attempt!"
My first 5 socials were no-shows.
I screen more effectively now, still have the occasional one but it's nowhere near as bad as it was.
I also plan a social somewhere I like to go alone and that way if I am stood up it's not the end of the world, I spend some quality time on my own somewhere I like to be.
I've only ever had one guy no-show for a meet after a social, very plausible reasons but did it three times. Arseholes gonna arsehole. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered why certain people (I'll say it MEN), Feel the need to be let downs and not turn up.
I haven't had anyone not turn up to meet me, but I see on a daily basis, mostly females, putting that they've been let down. Are men stupid? I struggle to get my messages read let alone get to organising a meet!
SERIOUSLY men stop being idiots!
Here endeth my rant"
I totally hate timewasters and ghosters simply because of their way of thinking so l definitely am not of those myself . |
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So we dont meet single guys in that capacity. Wifes more unto meeting women and couples. We tried just once to meet a single guy in our 25 years of swinging and lo and behold, he bailed at the last possible second (as we where leaving the house) because and I quote "he forgot the football was on".
Never again.
But we have run the odd organised social event where we open it to single guys and we also meet separately.
In the case of social events, we've had enough of the single fellas to be honest. If we have a venue that can hold 100 people and we allocate 20 slots to single guys, rest assured you are lucky if 2 show up. This has happened to us multiple times now and other social organisers in our area as well.
In the case of me meeting as a solo guy (and extension of those socials) I know several single women who are let down continously, numerous couples who struggle for mfm's and in one case, bar one other guy (who was in and out in minutes pardon the pun) I was the only guy to turn up for a 8 man gangbang. Not usually my thing but I thought I would give it a go once. That worked out in my favour as I had that lovely lady to myself for a few hours but I digress.
Point is, single guys as a whole get a bad rap on Fab simply because there is so many on the site. At least two thirds of the site is now single male accounts and its fair to say, a large portion of that number are fantasists. They're here for a wank and as soon as they've shot their load, they come back to reality and their bottle goes.
They're not swingers and never where. They're looking for a quick way to empty their balls and that's it. They view fab as a way to get a quick shag which it isnt for most people. For a lot of us, swinging is a bit more than just mushing genitals. Unfortunetly, these guys drag down all the legitimate guys with their behaviour.
There are guys who acctually put the effort in, do attend clubs and socials and do make a good name for themselves but anyone who's new to the scene and is serious, is going to get lost in the noise without some serious leg work.
This is always going to be the case with a free site. Ratios are much different on other membership sites so what do you do?
We often see posts about how to get verified or get meets on here from guys but when most guys don't turn up to socials and single males at clubs are the same faces every other week (at least at the club we attend) something does not add up.
I have no idea how to Improve this
But I would honestly say to the serious guys, just get to socials. Get yourself seen and the meets will follow.
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"So we dont meet single guys in that capacity. Wifes more unto meeting women and couples. We tried just once to meet a single guy in our 25 years of swinging and lo and behold, he bailed at the last possible second (as we where leaving the house) because and I quote "he forgot the football was on".
Never again.
But we have run the odd organised social event where we open it to single guys and we also meet separately.
In the case of social events, we've had enough of the single fellas to be honest. If we have a venue that can hold 100 people and we allocate 20 slots to single guys, rest assured you are lucky if 2 show up. This has happened to us multiple times now and other social organisers in our area as well.
In the case of me meeting as a solo guy (and extension of those socials) I know several single women who are let down continously, numerous couples who struggle for mfm's and in one case, bar one other guy (who was in and out in minutes pardon the pun) I was the only guy to turn up for a 8 man gangbang. Not usually my thing but I thought I would give it a go once. That worked out in my favour as I had that lovely lady to myself for a few hours but I digress.
Point is, single guys as a whole get a bad rap on Fab simply because there is so many on the site. At least two thirds of the site is now single male accounts and its fair to say, a large portion of that number are fantasists. They're here for a wank and as soon as they've shot their load, they come back to reality and their bottle goes.
They're not swingers and never where. They're looking for a quick way to empty their balls and that's it. They view fab as a way to get a quick shag which it isnt for most people. For a lot of us, swinging is a bit more than just mushing genitals. Unfortunetly, these guys drag down all the legitimate guys with their behaviour.
There are guys who acctually put the effort in, do attend clubs and socials and do make a good name for themselves but anyone who's new to the scene and is serious, is going to get lost in the noise without some serious leg work.
This is always going to be the case with a free site. Ratios are much different on other membership sites so what do you do?
We often see posts about how to get verified or get meets on here from guys but when most guys don't turn up to socials and single males at clubs are the same faces every other week (at least at the club we attend) something does not add up.
I have no idea how to Improve this
But I would honestly say to the serious guys, just get to socials. Get yourself seen and the meets will follow.
"
Agreed, some single guys make it hard for everyone else to just get along |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've never been let down by anyone not showing up for a meet. But then I tend to chat for a while and get to know the person before we arrange to meet.And so far I've never had anyone not show. Maybe I've been just lucky .
Also I think saying it's men who do it is a big generalisation as well as from what I see in the forum's and updates women and couples are just as guilty of ghosting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not saying your bloke bashing but some women and couples do the no show thing too.
Some people are just the way they are regardless of gender "
I've got about 7 no shows from women so far, the worst one I booked annual leave for. |
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By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
Just been let down again no response today to a date planned tonight spoke yesterday but radio silence today and I even booked us some bowling which she was excited about. £30 down the drain non refundable |
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"Just been let down again no response today to a date planned tonight spoke yesterday but radio silence today and I even booked us some bowling which she was excited about. £30 down the drain non refundable "
No time to get a mate and go? |
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By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
"Just been let down again no response today to a date planned tonight spoke yesterday but radio silence today and I even booked us some bowling which she was excited about. £30 down the drain non refundable
No time to get a mate and go?"
Booked it near her I’m south west she is north west. |
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"Just been let down again no response today to a date planned tonight spoke yesterday but radio silence today and I even booked us some bowling which she was excited about. £30 down the drain non refundable
No time to get a mate and go?
Booked it near her I’m south west she is north west. "
Bollocks  |
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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago
Z'ha'dum |
"Just been let down again no response today to a date planned tonight spoke yesterday but radio silence today and I even booked us some bowling which she was excited about. £30 down the drain non refundable
No time to get a mate and go?
Booked it near her I’m south west she is north west. "
Well let that be a lesson to you next time arrange to meet at McDonald's  |
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By *l6789Man
over a year ago
croydon |
"Just been let down again no response today to a date planned tonight spoke yesterday but radio silence today and I even booked us some bowling which she was excited about. £30 down the drain non refundable
No time to get a mate and go?
Booked it near her I’m south west she is north west.
Well let that be a lesson to you next time arrange to meet at McDonald's "
True normally don’t book something pay in advance non refundable on a first social, but let my guard slip believing her to be genuine after chatting, phone call and lots of flirting. Lesson learned |
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. Yes makes us sick, so far let down 3 times this last three weeks.