From somebody that's youngish at 32 I forever battle with bad skin . I never used to growing up , but now I do . With that it as obviously killed my confidence as I have got older .
I used to be able to walk in a pub and say hey .. And have a chat etc . 'And pull ' in them words .
Now I struggle to look people in the face when I talk .
So my question is .. As anybody else felt this way ?
That your confidence as just totally gone for some reason or another X
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We all have our insecurities.
As far as bad skin goes, I’ve never really had to deal with it, and I have friends that do. It’s only since hearing them talking about it that I’ve noticed it as something. Before that I didn’t even notice. honestly if you’re able to be confident, you shouldn’t let bad skin get in your way! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From somebody that's youngish at 32 I forever battle with bad skin . I never used to growing up , but now I do . With that it as obviously killed my confidence as I have got older .
I used to be able to walk in a pub and say hey .. And have a chat etc . 'And pull ' in them words .
Now I struggle to look people in the face when I talk .
So my question is .. As anybody else felt this way ?
That your confidence as just totally gone for some reason or another X
"
It's horrible isn't it. I think we are all a work in progress but we need to keep those little affirmations and the small wins to build confidence
For what it's worth, you look great and any lady would be lucky to have a drink and chat with you |
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Perhaps look at it as 2 or 3 things - your skin, your confidence and potentially who you associate with.
If you could get to accept yourself regardless of your appearance, that may also be a positive thing.
I assume that you have looked at your diet, lifestyle and other aspects of skin care, so that any underlying causes of your skin problem may be being addressed.
The people who you associate with will ideally be caring and supportive, as they may foster anxiety.
Your confidence could potentially be built in different ways. It's always good to recall times when you have been confident, before you get into a situation where you may face a challenge. Recalling an experience will get you to relive the frame of mind and feelings that you had then. Do it often enough and you will make an automatic connection between feeling confident and what may have been challenging, potentially without even being too aware, other than feeling good about yourself and the situation you are in. There's likely increased levels of confidence, compared to your past positive experiences, that you can experience in the future. Take things a small step at a time, without putting any pressure on yourself though. We often learn incredibly well when we've had something not go the best, so take everything in your stride.
There'll by other ways you can tbink of to cultivate your confidence too. It can be like a rolling snowball, gathering momentum, when things come together for us. Use the energy from any potential impatience, pressured stress etc, to fuel your acceptance of things taking the time that they can do. Change doesn't have to be slow but it's always good to be prepared to accept how things are going for you.
Occasionally it's great to just act as if you have everything that you need and to go for it. Perhaps if in a different environment you can just behave as if you have all of the confidence that you want, trying it on for size, perhaps you are as good an actor for those minutes, as any Hollywood star.
Eat well and get plenty of good rest and sleep, so that you've the best physiology, supporting your needs.  |
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I go through phases with it. I put on a lot of weight in my last year of uni and my partner at the time was emotionally abusive. Even though I've now lost most of it, it's hard to shake that feeling of shame and disgust in my body from coming back. The real irony in it is that I'm personally attracted to curvier women. |
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As for bad skin, the best thing I ever did for mine was start cleaning my face with those reusable face pads that you just use with water. They're like really dense flannel but I think they're made of bamboo which is antibacterial. I have no idea what kind of witchcraft it is but my skin feels squeeky clean after to the point where I can't use it before the shower as my skin gets too stripped of oils by showing after using them. After washingy face with them I use olay complete lightweight day fluid as it isn't too heavy and soaks in really well. I know many with oily skin think adding moisturiser will make it worse but if your skin dries out it compensates by producing more oil. If its really bad or really getting you down it might be worth speaking to your doctor about seeing a dermatologist. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
I've always had insecurities and issues with anxiety in social settings. It can be phases but is consistent with regards to those phases happening.
I have good and bad phases of how I feel about myself and going in to certain situations. I'm certainly shy and Introverted in ways.
However since having grown my beard my confidence has increased somewhat. It is not a magic beard that suddenly holds the power to unlimited confidence but it has given me a boost to how I feel about myself. I'm not likely to intentionally make myself centre of attention, nor would I want to unintentionally.
Im also much more confident when I have my dogs with me, they draw any focused attention away from me. They become the attention point that allows me to feel comfortable dealing with a situation. |
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I have always had very clear skin until a few years ago, when perimenopause gave me such bad acne I paid to see a specialist because I was convinced I had some form of skin disease.
It's so bad that a FWB genuinely asked me if I'd hit my face because he thought it was bruising rather than a flare up.
I can't do anything about it. I can use all the creams in the world, take the pills prescribed and still have a huge hormonal flare up, so now I just live with it and try not to let myself get too down about it.
I do feel your pain OP, but only you can change your reaction to it. I hope you find a way to be at peace with it and not let it negatively impact your sense of self. |
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