FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Sexual Orientation With Men Who Sleep With Trans Women
Sexual Orientation With Men Who Sleep With Trans Women
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. "
Isn't that their choice? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Your self identity is of itrelevant or invalid to some people, and it'll entirely depend upon how they view your identity and where they sit ideologically on the diferrence between sex and gender. I know that's difficult but that's the way things are right now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s not a case of how you identify.
If I’m meeting a girl I prefer she has a vagina.
That doesn’t take away anything from how somebody identifies, I guess with all things it’s a matter of preference.
I’m sure plenty of guys prefer trans girls, I don’t know what category they fall in as I don’t know enough about it, straight, bi, gay, no idea. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I think it does take away from how I identify if someone tells me they don't fancy me because they are straight. In my opinion, they are saying I am a man.
I know many heterosexual guys who love trans girls and they would not ever sleep with a man. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice. 
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement?"
Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. "
But some men don't agree that they can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. You're defining heterosexuality by gender, they're defining it by sex. Both are valid. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant."
So what excuse can they use for not wanting to sleep with a trans woman? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I wonder... would those men sleep with a trans man who was born with female biology but identifies as a man? That would be interesting to know. I suppose they could in their view, as they see the trans man as a woman? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant."
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
So what excuse can they use for not wanting to sleep with a trans woman?"
They could just say they don't like trans women...? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think how you identify and how others view you can be completely different. As much as you have the right to identify as a female they have a right to view you as they want. As long as they aren’t derogatory towards you or transphobic then that is up to them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet."
I am not trying to police someone's frame of attraction. I am saying they could just say they don't like trans women without needing to bring sexuality in to it, as it is hurtful and upsetting. In my opinion, hetero men can sleep with trans women. If a man slept with a trans man who has a vagina, then he is no longer heterosexual, he would be bisexual, in my opinion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Out of curiosity would you have sex with man that has transitioned from female but doesn’t have a penis?
"
No, I wouldn't, as I am not attracted to trans men. I would be polite about it though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Out of curiosity would you have sex with man that has transitioned from female but doesn’t have a penis?
No, I wouldn't, as I am not attracted to trans men. I would be polite about it though."
Then I’m struggling to see what your point is. Everyone has a preference and if you’re not theirs just move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet. I am not trying to police someone's frame of attraction. I am saying they could just say they don't like trans women without needing to bring sexuality in to it, as it is hurtful and upsetting. In my opinion, hetero men can sleep with trans women. If a man slept with a trans man who has a vagina, then he is no longer heterosexual, he would be bisexual, in my opinion."
What? So in your opinion men can be straight and sleep with you. But men sleeping with a trans man are Bi? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet. I am not trying to police someone's frame of attraction. I am saying they could just say they don't like trans women without needing to bring sexuality in to it, as it is hurtful and upsetting. In my opinion, hetero men can sleep with trans women. If a man slept with a trans man who has a vagina, then he is no longer heterosexual, he would be bisexual, in my opinion."
It sounds like they don't understand terminology outside of males have a penis, females have a vulva, bi, straight and gay.
It's probably not intentionally to upset you.
I try to find other reasons to tell someone why I'm not interested rather than I don't fancy them because I don't want to make them feel bad. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet. I am not trying to police someone's frame of attraction. I am saying they could just say they don't like trans women without needing to bring sexuality in to it, as it is hurtful and upsetting. In my opinion, hetero men can sleep with trans women. If a man slept with a trans man who has a vagina, then he is no longer heterosexual, he would be bisexual, in my opinion.
What? So in your opinion men can be straight and sleep with you. But men sleeping with a trans man are Bi?"
Yes, absolutely. Out of curiosity, would you sleep with a trans man who has female biology e.g. ovulation? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Lisa, Managing your own dysphoria is difficult enough without taking on the added weight of the opinions of those who can't separate sex and gender. Try and just worry about what's within your gift to control. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet. I am not trying to police someone's frame of attraction. I am saying they could just say they don't like trans women without needing to bring sexuality in to it, as it is hurtful and upsetting. In my opinion, hetero men can sleep with trans women. If a man slept with a trans man who has a vagina, then he is no longer heterosexual, he would be bisexual, in my opinion.
What? So in your opinion men can be straight and sleep with you. But men sleeping with a trans man are Bi? Yes, absolutely. Out of curiosity, would you sleep with a trans man who has female biology e.g. ovulation?"
Ovulation? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
What? So in your opinion men can be straight and sleep with you. But men sleeping with a trans man are Bi? Yes, absolutely. Out of curiosity, would you sleep with a trans man who has female biology e.g. ovulation?"
Hang on? Absolutely? Your double standards are shocking |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet. I am not trying to police someone's frame of attraction. I am saying they could just say they don't like trans women without needing to bring sexuality in to it, as it is hurtful and upsetting. In my opinion, hetero men can sleep with trans women. If a man slept with a trans man who has a vagina, then he is no longer heterosexual, he would be bisexual, in my opinion.
What? So in your opinion men can be straight and sleep with you. But men sleeping with a trans man are Bi? Yes, absolutely. Out of curiosity, would you sleep with a trans man who has female biology e.g. ovulation?
Ovulation? "
Yes, I'm trying to find a polite way of saying trans men who have female equipment |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lisa, Managing your own dysphoria is difficult enough without taking on the added weight of the opinions of those who can't separate sex and gender. Try and just worry about what's within your gift to control."
Very well said  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. "
You can identify however you like and men can sleep with whoever they like.
If you get to define yourself as a woman, then they get to define themselves as a heterosexual men who do not sleep with trans women. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Your perspective is your own, just as another's perspective is theirs.
If they see things differently, it's over to you how you receive that, either to take offence and be hurt by it or to realise you are not like minded and move along.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's their choice if they aren't interested...I never said that it wasn't their choice.
What are you saying then?
That they can't use straight as an arguement? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I find it disrespectful and ignorant.
You can't identify your way into someone else's frame of sexual attraction. Trying to do so is disrespectful and ignorant, not to mention arrogant and abusive. You're no different to a straight man telling a lesbian she hasn't found the right cock yet. I am not trying to police someone's frame of attraction. I am saying they could just say they don't like trans women without needing to bring sexuality in to it, as it is hurtful and upsetting. In my opinion, hetero men can sleep with trans women. If a man slept with a trans man who has a vagina, then he is no longer heterosexual, he would be bisexual, in my opinion.
What? So in your opinion men can be straight and sleep with you. But men sleeping with a trans man are Bi? Yes, absolutely. Out of curiosity, would you sleep with a trans man who has female biology e.g. ovulation?
Ovulation? Yes, I'm trying to find a polite way of saying trans men who have female equipment"
Ovulation is something your body does once a month and less frequently after menopause.
Do you mean female genitals? That would be a vulva. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This comes up a lot I hear with lesbians that refuse to sleep with trans women. Personally I think straight men can sleep with anyone that identifies as and therefore is a woman. I think it’s insulting maybe and suggests that trans women aren’t women that we question the sexuality of men that sleep with people that identify as women.
The issue is of course far more complex than this and there’s lots that I don’t understand and am not an expert in but that’s my take based on what I do know and the opinions I have formed from that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So as a bisexual woman who is predominantly more in to woman I am more drawn to a “tomboy” look and personality.
When and if I do meet men I am not drawn to the more rugged style or “a typical alpha male”
The truth is, only my opinion, there’s far too much trying to fit into a “box” or a “name tag”.
Attraction is based upon many things and for some sexuality has no bearing on it.
I am sure there are straight men and woman on here who see traits of their own sex they find attractive but are just not drawn to them.
I find trying to label someone is a backward step to where we should be
Just my opinion. Please don’t shoot me down |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This comes up a lot I hear with lesbians that refuse to sleep with trans women. Personally I think straight men can sleep with anyone that identifies as and therefore is a woman. I think it’s insulting maybe and suggests that trans women aren’t women that we question the sexuality of men that sleep with people that identify as women.
The issue is of course far more complex than this and there’s lots that I don’t understand and am not an expert in but that’s my take based on what I do know and the opinions I have formed from that. "
I wish there was an 'Agree' button. As I'd press it on this post.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
The truth is, only my opinion, there’s far too much trying to fit into a “box” or a “name tag”.
"
I agree that some people don't want to be labelled and there is nothing wrong with that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. "
I find gay men are interested in us just my observation tho
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it does take away from how I identify if someone tells me they don't fancy me because they are straight. In my opinion, they are saying I am a man.
I know many heterosexual guys who love trans girls and they would not ever sleep with a man. "
they’re in denial and definitely gay |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s not a case of how you identify.
If I’m meeting a girl I prefer she has a vagina.
That doesn’t take away anything from how somebody identifies, I guess with all things it’s a matter of preference.
I’m sure plenty of guys prefer trans girls, I don’t know what category they fall in as I don’t know enough about it, straight, bi, gay, no idea."
It might make life easier if there were terms about genital preference that didn't feel so crass. I know a guy who is pansexual but prefers his partners to have a vagina regardless of gender identity or gender presentation/expression. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. "
How will they know you are trans?
Do you state such details on your profile?
Do you only message men who are looking for TV/TS? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This comes up a lot I hear with lesbians that refuse to sleep with trans women. Personally I think straight men can sleep with anyone that identifies as and therefore is a woman. I think it’s insulting maybe and suggests that trans women aren’t women that we question the sexuality of men that sleep with people that identify as women.
The issue is of course far more complex than this and there’s lots that I don’t understand and am not an expert in but that’s my take based on what I do know and the opinions I have formed from that. "
Many lesbians also refuse to knowingly sleep with or date bisexual women. Apparently men are that contaminating |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This comes up a lot I hear with lesbians that refuse to sleep with trans women. Personally I think straight men can sleep with anyone that identifies as and therefore is a woman. I think it’s insulting maybe and suggests that trans women aren’t women that we question the sexuality of men that sleep with people that identify as women.
The issue is of course far more complex than this and there’s lots that I don’t understand and am not an expert in but that’s my take based on what I do know and the opinions I have formed from that.
Many lesbians also refuse to knowingly sleep with or date bisexual women. Apparently men are that contaminating "
many lesbians hate on trans woman |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual.
How will they know you are trans?
Do you state such details on your profile?
Do you only message men who are looking for TV/TS?"
It says so on my profile and sometimes they will ask me on other places such as KIK. To answer your second question, no I don't only message men who are looking to meet TV/TS. Strangely, there are men on this site who put that they are looking to meet TV/TS but have blocked all TV/TS, so I can't message them! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t normally post on these kind of threads because it’s so easy to misinterpret.
From my view point I would be glad to see everyone able to be who they want to be. I know that’s not the case. I’d also be glad to not have to justify my definition of “straight”. I totally understand why Lisa has asked the question - and I respect that.
Do I have an opinion about it? Yes. Am I going to try and persuade anyone I’m right? No.
This is my second “serious” post on a thread. If I do one more can someone have a word with me. I don’t want “thinking too hard” to become a habit. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual.
How will they know you are trans?
Do you state such details on your profile?
Do you only message men who are looking for TV/TS?
It says so on my profile and sometimes they will ask me on other places such as KIK. To answer your second question, no I don't only message men who are looking to meet TV/TS. Strangely, there are men on this site who put that they are looking to meet TV/TS but have blocked all TV/TS, so I can't message them!"
It does not state trans on your profile.
If you message straight men don't be offended if they say no because they are straight.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
From reading your profile you don't mention how you identify, only that your name is Lisa and you're straight. As you're listed as a TV/TS this is ambiguous enough as it is.
Perhaps it would be clearer if you mentioned where you are on your gender journey, if you're full time or part time, how you play, what potential partners might expect. Then they have the facts to make an informed decision? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it really boils down to how attractive and passing you are as a trans woman. Also, if you have a designer vagina, also that is a bonus.
Speaking of experience, I’ve had quite a few men who identify as totally straight and who have never been with a trans woman before but I made the exception or I’m their first who made them curious about it.
Had the discussion with a few , and majority said they don’t view me that way and don’t make distinction between me and a biological woman, and don’t think about it (whether concious or unconcious, we may never know) It could be out of politeness or whatever, I’m only reporting
So yeah!
Also, wanted to point out, I have been very attracted to trans men, but I think the lack of penis will present a problem, considering I love the dick and love being penetrated. Other than that, I think some trans men are fit as fuck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don’t normally post on these kind of threads because it’s so easy to misinterpret.
From my view point I would be glad to see everyone able to be who they want to be. I know that’s not the case. I’d also be glad to not have to justify my definition of “straight”. I totally understand why Lisa has asked the question - and I respect that.
Do I have an opinion about it? Yes. Am I going to try and persuade anyone I’m right? No.
This is my second “serious” post on a thread. If I do one more can someone have a word with me. I don’t want “thinking too hard” to become a habit. "
Thank you for your understanding and balanced input. I would guess me and you have different opinions of what heterosexual actually means. I wouldn't want to challenge your opinion on that or attack you for that opinion. Would you agree that a man saying he is straight to a trans women is an attack on their opinion of how they identify, and even though said man is entitled to his own opinion in what heterosexual means, it would be more polite and respectful to simply say he doesn't like trans women, rather than throw straight in the trans woman's face and discredit who they identify as? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This comes up a lot I hear with lesbians that refuse to sleep with trans women. Personally I think straight men can sleep with anyone that identifies as and therefore is a woman. I think it’s insulting maybe and suggests that trans women aren’t women that we question the sexuality of men that sleep with people that identify as women.
The issue is of course far more complex than this and there’s lots that I don’t understand and am not an expert in but that’s my take based on what I do know and the opinions I have formed from that.
Many lesbians also refuse to knowingly sleep with or date bisexual women. Apparently men are that contaminating "
Tbf, we men are pretty awful.
The biphobia is strong! Lots of straight women won’t date bi men either. So awful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t normally post on these kind of threads because it’s so easy to misinterpret.
From my view point I would be glad to see everyone able to be who they want to be. I know that’s not the case. I’d also be glad to not have to justify my definition of “straight”. I totally understand why Lisa has asked the question - and I respect that.
Do I have an opinion about it? Yes. Am I going to try and persuade anyone I’m right? No.
This is my second “serious” post on a thread. If I do one more can someone have a word with me. I don’t want “thinking too hard” to become a habit. Thank you for your understanding and balanced input. I would guess me and you have different opinions of what heterosexual actually means. I wouldn't want to challenge your opinion on that or attack you for that opinion. Would you agree that a man saying he is straight to a trans women is an attack on their opinion of how they identify, and even though said man is entitled to his own opinion in what heterosexual means, it would be more polite and respectful to simply say he doesn't like trans women, rather than throw straight in the trans woman's face and discredit who they identify as?"
But here for me is the confusing part
I look at the TV/TS profiles and some say they are “gay” but only looking for men.
So where does that fit in with this other than labelling doesn’t work, or, you’d have to create multiple categories.
And also a lot say they are on Fab Bi Guys or something, so how does that work as I believe woman aren’t allowed on there.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t normally post on these kind of threads because it’s so easy to misinterpret.
From my view point I would be glad to see everyone able to be who they want to be. I know that’s not the case. I’d also be glad to not have to justify my definition of “straight”. I totally understand why Lisa has asked the question - and I respect that.
Do I have an opinion about it? Yes. Am I going to try and persuade anyone I’m right? No.
This is my second “serious” post on a thread. If I do one more can someone have a word with me. I don’t want “thinking too hard” to become a habit. Thank you for your understanding and balanced input. I would guess me and you have different opinions of what heterosexual actually means. I wouldn't want to challenge your opinion on that or attack you for that opinion. Would you agree that a man saying he is straight to a trans women is an attack on their opinion of how they identify, and even though said man is entitled to his own opinion in what heterosexual means, it would be more polite and respectful to simply say he doesn't like trans women, rather than throw straight in the trans woman's face and discredit who they identify as?
But here for me is the confusing part
I look at the TV/TS profiles and some say they are “gay” but only looking for men.
So where does that fit in with this other than labelling doesn’t work, or, you’d have to create multiple categories.
And also a lot say they are on Fab Bi Guys or something, so how does that work as I believe woman aren’t allowed on there.
"
I think you have to make a definition of what a trans-woman is compared to a cis woman |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
And also a lot say they are on Fab Bi Guys or something, so how does that work as I believe woman aren’t allowed on there.
"
I agree, trans women shouldn't be allowed on Fab guys and when men ask if I am on Fab guys, my response is always, "Why would I be on there? It's a site for men". I do find it insulting that there is an option for trans women on Fab guys but I put it down to most of the Fab empire being set up around 15 years ago when terminology and awareness was very different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Pre op and post op "
Genital preference is totally valid, but also in general, those men who may end up indulging either is because they fetishise a trans woman (but that’s the one I think is least, in my personal experience) or they actually just fancy someone because they fit a standard that is very cis like.
If it makes any sense |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In my humble view , I’m not out to prove to anyone who or what I am. I know what I am. If the other person doesn’t agree then I know we’re not compatible and I go my separate ways.
I know I should probably be more activist about it and I’ll support my trans fellows in their struggle but right now I just can’t be bothered with anyone who says that I’m not a woman, I just let them be and carry on living my life as one  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. "
That’s your opinion. But I believe you can be either. Sadly it’s not so black or white |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual.
That’s your opinion. But I believe you can be either. Sadly it’s not so black or white"
I mean there are homosexuals who have pretended to sleep with women to save face sadly. Even had kids with them.
But generally speaking, Id say men who sleep with trans women tend to be heterosexual, bisexual or pan .
It’d be someone who definitely finds a woman and femininity attractive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"I don’t normally post on these kind of threads because it’s so easy to misinterpret.
From my view point I would be glad to see everyone able to be who they want to be. I know that’s not the case. I’d also be glad to not have to justify my definition of “straight”. I totally understand why Lisa has asked the question - and I respect that.
Do I have an opinion about it? Yes. Am I going to try and persuade anyone I’m right? No.
This is my second “serious” post on a thread. If I do one more can someone have a word with me. I don’t want “thinking too hard” to become a habit. Thank you for your understanding and balanced input. I would guess me and you have different opinions of what heterosexual actually means. I wouldn't want to challenge your opinion on that or attack you for that opinion. Would you agree that a man saying he is straight to a trans women is an attack on their opinion of how they identify, and even though said man is entitled to his own opinion in what heterosexual means, it would be more polite and respectful to simply say he doesn't like trans women, rather than throw straight in the trans woman's face and discredit who they identify as?
But here for me is the confusing part
I look at the TV/TS profiles and some say they are “gay” but only looking for men.
So where does that fit in with this other than labelling doesn’t work, or, you’d have to create multiple categories.
And also a lot say they are on Fab Bi Guys or something, so how does that work as I believe woman aren’t allowed on there.
"
Part of that is down to the fact that cd and tg is in the same category here, and then there's also the fact that identity is incredibly divergent. Some trans people are happy identifying as tgirl, shemale, gay when they sleep with men etc, others (myself included) have a real problem with that sort of terminology which largely only exists in porn and is part of a fetishisation/over sexualisation og trans people.
There's a lot of disparity over terms and language within the (huge) trans umbrella let alone outside it.
Personally I wouldn't see a man not wanting a trans woman on the basis being straight as correct from an identity perspective, but I wouldn't necessarily see it as an attack either.
Despite the fact trans people have been documented for thousands of years it's currently a very divisive area that many are treating as a newly invented problem. A lot of it is frankly recycled homophobia or misogyny. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Totally get that frustration. As far as I'm concerned you can be totally straight to love or have sex with a transwoman (pre-op or post-op). I'm straight but would happily sleep with and/or date a post op transwoman if the chemistry was right and I was attracted to them, no different from any woman. That doesn't change my sexuality. Some people may ask then if it was a pre op trans woman is a woman why I wouldn't. As far as I'm concerned they also very much women, it's just I have no sexual attraction to male genitalia, as simple as that. That's just me and what I'm attracted to. Plus when it comes to sexuality I rather hate we need labels anyway, surely you just fancy who you fancy.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Totally get that frustration. As far as I'm concerned you can be totally straight to love or have sex with a transwoman (pre-op or post-op). I'm straight but would happily sleep with and/or date a post op transwoman if the chemistry was right and I was attracted to them, no different from any woman. That doesn't change my sexuality. Some people may ask then if it was a pre op trans woman is a woman why I wouldn't. As far as I'm concerned they also very much women, it's just I have no sexual attraction to male genitalia, as simple as that. That's just me and what I'm attracted to. Plus when it comes to sexuality I rather hate we need labels anyway, surely you just fancy who you fancy.
Mr"
I think you have been pretty clear and I think you said some key things about whether there’s chemistry and are attracted to them. Just like u would be, with any other women.
Some you fancy, some you don’t.
Also sometimes, some can’t go past the notion of how somebody was born as. (Potentially a tiny negative pre-conceived notions - especially if there’s initial attraction)
I had a guy who graciously said, look you are very pretty and I’m attracted to you but I don’t think Im ready to go there (explaining also mentally)
Totally valid, and I just said that’s okay. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t normally post on these kind of threads because it’s so easy to misinterpret.
From my view point I would be glad to see everyone able to be who they want to be. I know that’s not the case. I’d also be glad to not have to justify my definition of “straight”. I totally understand why Lisa has asked the question - and I respect that.
Do I have an opinion about it? Yes. Am I going to try and persuade anyone I’m right? No.
This is my second “serious” post on a thread. If I do one more can someone have a word with me. I don’t want “thinking too hard” to become a habit. Thank you for your understanding and balanced input. I would guess me and you have different opinions of what heterosexual actually means. I wouldn't want to challenge your opinion on that or attack you for that opinion. Would you agree that a man saying he is straight to a trans women is an attack on their opinion of how they identify, and even though said man is entitled to his own opinion in what heterosexual means, it would be more polite and respectful to simply say he doesn't like trans women, rather than throw straight in the trans woman's face and discredit who they identify as?"
Hey Lisa. I think it’s too complex to say -without context - it’s an “attack on their opinion of how they identify”. If they say it without compassion - yes. If they hold an opinion that is different to the trans woman and is merely articulating their view of the world without _alice - no.
I don’t get offended on other people’s behalf, and I cannot even start to imagine what it is like to be trans. So my view is purely from my own belief system. The sad thing is I’ve no doubt offended some people here whilst trying to positively promote anyone’s own right to an opinion - unless they are a prick.
Here endeth the gospel according to _uperjack. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" To answer your second question, no I don't only message men who are looking to meet TV/TS. Strangely, there are men on this site who put that they are looking to meet TV/TS but have blocked all TV/TS, so I can't message them!"
Tbh this would be like us messaging a straight couple and getting upset if they turned us down. We are very mindful of who we contact otherwise we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.
I understand totally that people lie about their preferences though.
As others have said, it’s worth mentioning whether you are transitioning or maybe have already.
Some guys are only interested in those that have fully transitioned.
Viv |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messaging homosexual men just to prove the point. Men can be heterosexual and sleep with trans women. It does not make them homosexual or bisexual. "
.
I identify myself as bi curious, as mentioned on my profile during the course of my work I have wanked men.
I would never meet a man 121.
I have met and enjoyed TV and TS they are different in spite of what fab says.
I meet TVs as to me they are women some live as women 24/7 what relevance does their birth certificate have to their life.
I have not met a HPW to me they are CD again fab lumps them together.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have encountered a few times on here, men saying they are "straight" as a reason they aren't interested in me. I find this very frustrating, as I identity as a woman and no homosexual man would be interested in me, I have even tried messagin
I have not met a HPW to me they are CD again fab lumps them together.
"
What's a HPW? I've not heard of that term before. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it does take away from how I identify if someone tells me they don't fancy me because they are straight. In my opinion, they are saying I am a man.
I know many heterosexual guys who love trans girls and they would not ever sleep with a man. "
You are a man & a trans woman & there is the issue as its you choosing to be trans but you cannot change gender.
Just keep trying, there is someone out there for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it does take away from how I identify if someone tells me they don't fancy me because they are straight. In my opinion, they are saying I am a man.
I know many heterosexual guys who love trans girls and they would not ever sleep with a man.
You are a man & a trans woman & there is the issue as its you choosing to be trans but you cannot change gender.
Just keep trying, there is someone out there for you. "
She identifies as a woman - it's not very respectful to say what you've said. Especially given the topic.
I have never thought that anyone chooses to be trans - it's that they are trans. Its who they are. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
