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Who wants a drink…
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me so thirsty today cant shift it think its cos i was glued to the bog having a dumb and dumber moment dehydrated me  "
Gallon of water coming right up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As the OP from another thread wasn’t sharing, can I have a bottle of whiskey please?
The cheap stuff from Aldi will do  "
How do you know I shop at Aldi?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As the OP from another thread wasn’t sharing, can I have a bottle of whiskey please?
The cheap stuff from Aldi will do "
A whole bottle . Would you like a mixer for it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this?? "
No I’ve definitely not got the patience |
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"Think I need a double! In fact give me two amaretto sours please 
I have dissorono. Any good? X
I'm in a pub mate they have loads of it. Get your erse down here. "
I would. Small problem. 13 year old son with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience "
Add honesty to your list of pros |
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"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros "
You could help behind the bar  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I need a double! In fact give me two amaretto sours please
I have dissorono. Any good? X
I'm in a pub mate they have loads of it. Get your erse down here.
I would. Small problem. 13 year old son with me "
Bring him! We’ll all have a wee sing-along in a minute. He’ll have a ball! |
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"Think I need a double! In fact give me two amaretto sours please
I have dissorono. Any good? X
I'm in a pub mate they have loads of it. Get your erse down here.
I would. Small problem. 13 year old son with me
Bring him! We’ll all have a wee sing-along in a minute. He’ll have a ball! "
En route x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear Chëëky6? - please may I have a large highball filled Martin Miller's Gin and tonic, served with ice and a wedge of lime?  "
You’re Ram-bling now Nero, I think you’ve had enough |
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"Grrr it removes c0ke from my messages. Fuck it I’ll just have the whiskey
Ok Sprout calm the feck down…deep breaths and here’s a bottle
Thank you. I’ll be in my happy place in 30 minutes "
30? Amateur |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Think I need a double! In fact give me two amaretto sours please
I have dissorono. Any good? X
I'm in a pub mate they have loads of it. Get your erse down here.
I would. Small problem. 13 year old son with me
Bring him! We’ll all have a wee sing-along in a minute. He’ll have a ball! "
That sounds like the start of a social. |
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"Think I need a double! In fact give me two amaretto sours please
I have dissorono. Any good? X
I'm in a pub mate they have loads of it. Get your erse down here.
I would. Small problem. 13 year old son with me
Bring him! We’ll all have a wee sing-along in a minute. He’ll have a ball!
That sounds like the start of a social. "
This needs to occur |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros "
Like poster below said..you can come and help..pleeeeeeease |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x"
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Grrr it removes c0ke from my messages. Fuck it I’ll just have the whiskey
Ok Sprout calm the feck down…deep breaths and here’s a bottle
Thank you. I’ll be in my happy place in 30 minutes "
Where’s that then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks."
Yes and drinks are free |
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"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks."
Reach for the high stuff.....no, scrap that x |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks.
Reach for the high stuff.....no, scrap that x"
Whit nae Bombay Mix! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks.
Yes and drinks are free "
Free drinks?!
*whips off top*
Let’s partaaaaay! |
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"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks.
Reach for the high stuff.....no, scrap that x
Whit nae Bombay Mix!"
Brannigans.....oh shit, they're not available |
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"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks.
Yes and drinks are free
Free drinks?!
*whips off top*
Let’s partaaaaay!"
( . Y . )
Like your bartending skills, Dieu. . . |
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"Coke
Can’t you make your mind up
You’re lovely, gorgeous and clearly very efficient … but you sure you got the people skills for this??
No I’ve definitely not got the patience
Add honesty to your list of pros
You could help behind the bar x
I’d be a disaster, but I can smile, chat and put out bowls of snacks.
Yes and drinks are free
Free drinks?!
*whips off top*
Let’s partaaaaay!"
Ok, bit early, but why not x |
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"Sparkling water please. And something for yourself. 
Only serve tap water here but I can blow into for a few minutes to create some
I love the thought of your warm breath in my drink. "
No she was farting in it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sparkling water please. And something for yourself.
Only serve tap water here but I can blow into for a few minutes to create some
I love the thought of your warm breath in my drink.
No she was farting in it "
Mmmmmmm. Even nicer. |
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"Sparkling water please. And something for yourself.
Only serve tap water here but I can blow into for a few minutes to create some
I love the thought of your warm breath in my drink.
No she was farting in it
Mmmmmmm. Even nicer. "
you've had enough fella. Get the bouncers! |
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"Dear Chëëky6? - please may I have a large highball filled Martin Miller's Gin and tonic, served with ice and a wedge of lime?
You’re Ram-bling now Nero, I think you’ve had enough "
°
I'm totally bereft from being denied your libation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sparkling water please. And something for yourself.
Only serve tap water here but I can blow into for a few minutes to create some
I love the thought of your warm breath in my drink.
No she was farting in it
Mmmmmmm. Even nicer.
you've had enough fella. Get the bouncers!"
Bad news: you ARE the bouncer!   x |
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"Sparkling water please. And something for yourself.
Only serve tap water here but I can blow into for a few minutes to create some
I love the thought of your warm breath in my drink.
No she was farting in it
Mmmmmmm. Even nicer.
you've had enough fella. Get the bouncers!
Bad news: you ARE the bouncer! x"
Righto. Grab your coat son, you're barred! x |
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"......the DJ has arrived. Black Lace first up......we're having a gangbang, we're having a ball....
Can I request Agadooo?"
Steady son, he's got pat and Mick lined up next with ' I haven't stopped dancing yet' |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"......the DJ has arrived. Black Lace first up......we're having a gangbang, we're having a ball....
Can I request Agadooo?
Steady son, he's got pat and Mick lined up next with ' I haven't stopped dancing yet' "
Okay, okay I will wait 29 minutes. But can we have the Conga afterwards? |
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"......the DJ has arrived. Black Lace first up......we're having a gangbang, we're having a ball....
Can I request Agadooo?
Steady son, he's got pat and Mick lined up next with ' I haven't stopped dancing yet'
Okay, okay I will wait 29 minutes. But can we have the Conga afterwards? "
Yep, but it's naked! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"......the DJ has arrived. Black Lace first up......we're having a gangbang, we're having a ball....
Can I request Agadooo?
Steady son, he's got pat and Mick lined up next with ' I haven't stopped dancing yet'
Okay, okay I will wait 29 minutes. But can we have the Conga afterwards? "
Absolutely Davie.
There’s no haudin’ us back! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"3 fingers of good whisky please, Laphroaig preferably. Been a long day
P"
That's not a bad malt but my preference if going supermarket is Highland park dragon legend |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"3 fingers of good whisky please, Laphroaig preferably. Been a long day
P
That's not a bad malt but my preference if going supermarket is Highland park dragon legend "
It's a comfort thing, first whisky himself got me on. Laphroaig is actually a bit too heavy on the smoke and peat for everyday for me but when I feel like I need a real boost I go for this
P |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"3 fingers of good whisky please, Laphroaig preferably. Been a long day
P
Dieu, cheeky has left her post. Put you pants back on and serve some punters x"
Does she have to put the pants back on?
P |
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"3 fingers of good whisky please, Laphroaig preferably. Been a long day
P
Dieu, cheeky has left her post. Put you pants back on and serve some punters x
Does she have to put the pants back on?
P"
Well, they're currently dangling off the mild tap, so, it's a bit inconvenient. I could use them as a bar towel though x |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"3 fingers of good whisky please, Laphroaig preferably. Been a long day
P
Dieu, cheeky has left her post. Put you pants back on and serve some punters x
Does she have to put the pants back on?
P
Well, they're currently dangling off the mild tap, so, it's a bit inconvenient. I could use them as a bar towel though x"
See recycle and reuse
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"3 fingers of good whisky please, Laphroaig preferably. Been a long day
P
Dieu, cheeky has left her post. Put you pants back on and serve some punters x
Does she have to put the pants back on?
P
Well, they're currently dangling off the mild tap, so, it's a bit inconvenient. I could use them as a bar towel though x"
As long as I don’t have to put them back on after! |
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"3 fingers of good whisky please, Laphroaig preferably. Been a long day
P
Dieu, cheeky has left her post. Put you pants back on and serve some punters x
Does she have to put the pants back on?
P
Well, they're currently dangling off the mild tap, so, it's a bit inconvenient. I could use them as a bar towel though x
As long as I don’t have to put them back on after!"
only if I get to take the bra off x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x"
You all simply can’t be left alone can you |
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"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x
You all simply can’t be left alone can you "
No. This is actually a classy night out in Barnsley x |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x"
Who left?
I didn't hwvr Yiu down as a knuckle dragger.
Pats were mentod! Ooooooooof |
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"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x
Who left?
I didn't hwvr Yiu down as a knuckle dragger.
Pats were mentod! Ooooooooof"
You've had too much! Dieu has git naked. It's warming up! |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x
Who left?
I didn't hwvr Yiu down as a knuckle dragger.
Pats were mentod! Ooooooooof
You've had too much! Dieu has git naked. It's warming up! "
Iv sobered up.  |
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"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x
Who left?
I didn't hwvr Yiu down as a knuckle dragger.
Pats were mentod! Ooooooooof
You've had too much! Dieu has git naked. It's warming up!
Iv sobered up. "
It was dieu being naked that did that, right? She's currently lathering herself up in baby oil |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x
Who left?
I didn't hwvr Yiu down as a knuckle dragger.
Pats were mentod! Ooooooooof
You've had too much! Dieu has git naked. It's warming up!
Iv sobered up.
It was dieu being naked that did that, right? She's currently lathering herself up in baby oil "
Davie faints! |
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"What on earth is going on in here
Black lace has been on, you left, so I'm the bouncer, dieu is serving, and I'm using her pants as a bar towel. Normal Saturday night really x
Who left?
I didn't hwvr Yiu down as a knuckle dragger.
Pats were mentod! Ooooooooof
You've had too much! Dieu has git naked. It's warming up!
Iv sobered up.
It was dieu being naked that did that, right? She's currently lathering herself up in baby oil
Davie faints!"
Wait until dieu reads this...she'll kill me  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I hope you’re all feeling rough this morning
•
Chance would be a fine thing. You didn't serve me a single drink, despite my request for a Gin. "
Your status  |
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"I'm a tad rough OP. I blame the barmaid, she kept force beer down my throat.
...err.....it wasn't beer 
(Gasps in shock) "
It's OK, I've still got her undies, and she's sleeping it off. She got a bit wild |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I'm a tad rough OP. I blame the barmaid, she kept force beer down my throat.
...err.....it wasn't beer
(Gasps in shock)
It's OK, I've still got her undies, and she's sleeping it off. She got a bit wild "
That's those posh burds for you. |
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"I'm a tad rough OP. I blame the barmaid, she kept force beer down my throat.
...err.....it wasn't beer
(Gasps in shock)
It's OK, I've still got her undies, and she's sleeping it off. She got a bit wild
That's those posh burds for you. "
She had the campari on an empty stomach |
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