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Genuine question .....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't have many real sensible spells but here goes and be nice to me ......
I get nervous before going out on meets and being female imagined that most females do as well, I, rightly or wrongly assumed that for couples that wasn't the same, and hadn't thought about solo (and that word was chosen deliberately) guys, assuming that they didn't.
Having read something posted by a guy the other day about feeling nervous on his initial meet it got me thinking .......
On an initial social meet does everyone get really nervous and what are we all worried about? For me I think it's the he won't like me and ridicule me thought ..... Answers pls ....  |
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I have a guy i know, when he first came over we where chatting and he told me how nervous he had been.. It opened my eyes to guys being nervous.
Guys come to my house so i guess they dont know whats behind the door, i could have a filthy house, could have shown outdated photos. Just the same as it is for women and couples i guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes i think it is natural to get nervous, the fear that she may not like you in the flesh as opposed to the image she has built up of you via pics and chat.
the fact that you may not get on in social situation as opposed to the chat on a laptop, personalities and such
and biggest fear for men that we dont measure up in performance or expectations as compared to her previous meets
for me the biggest compliment and feel good is at end of meet she either asks or indicates that she would like to see me again , you leave a meet feeling ten feet tall and with that silly grin on your face lol
or at least i do |
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"I don't have many real sensible spells but here goes and be nice to me ......
I get nervous before going out on meets and being female imagined that most females do as well, I, rightly or wrongly assumed that for couples that wasn't the same, and hadn't thought about solo (and that word was chosen deliberately) guys, assuming that they didn't.
Having read something posted by a guy the other day about feeling nervous on his initial meet it got me thinking .......
On an initial social meet does everyone get really nervous and what are we all worried about? For me I think it's the he won't like me and ridicule me thought ..... Answers pls .... "
I'm nervous (Mrs) much more so than Mr N, I think it's only natural because most people want to be liked and we all know we're meeting with a _iew to having sex so you wonder if you measure up and will you met with their expectations. I find it helps to remember that they are just as nervous as you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's any different for males and females - and if anything possibly harder for couples!
Part of the 'nerves' I guess is the worry, fear or whatever you want to call it, that the meet won't end up as you hope - that you both get on, are in some way either physically or mentally attracted to eachother - and that something will go tits up and you'll struggle to make conversation!
I tend to find a good exchange of messages first prevents this and that it's then just a case of confirming initial interest and opinions about eachother in a face to face environment and deciding then what happens next! for me these days i'd say there's more adrenaline than proper nerves - but I always try and go into any encounter with an open mind and no expectations - that way i'm rarely disappointed!
My comment re couples is based on the fact there's double the people involved - and therefore more of a risk than one may be less interested/attracted than the other in a couple. But having only experienced that with friends rather than partners I guess couples would have a better _iewpoint on that!
And you can be sensible when you want! Honest!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have many real sensible spells but here goes and be nice to me ......
I get nervous before going out on meets and being female imagined that most females do as well, I, rightly or wrongly assumed that for couples that wasn't the same, and hadn't thought about solo (and that word was chosen deliberately) guys, assuming that they didn't.
Having read something posted by a guy the other day about feeling nervous on his initial meet it got me thinking .......
On an initial social meet does everyone get really nervous and what are we all worried about? For me I think it's the he won't like me and ridicule me thought ..... Answers pls .... "
i as part of couple we tend to get butterflies, bit apprehensive, then after a bit we are ok, but if i meet as a single , yes i get nervous( wee a bit)lol. but i am genuinely quite shy but i still get jitters and shake sometimes that i could mix cocktails,lol  |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Minxie, I will be surprised if anyone posts that they don't feel an element of nervousness. It is only natural. "
I agree with you although I think it is more a sense of anticipation and excitement? Maybe that is just me/ us then... |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
when I did do meets, either social or sexual I was always nervous the first time as they usually were as a result of being in the chat room and I am as brave as fuck behind a keyboard, in reality a lot more shy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I seldom meet anyone without getting to know him well enough to establish if he has ticked enough boxes for each other to be worthy of a meet.
This usually means PM exchanges over days or even years, exchange of pics, as well as speaking on the phone etc...
This way, there should be very few surprises when we eventually meet.
This has worked well for me, and I have no plan to change how I vet potential playmates.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still get nervous, it's natural as we all want to be liked and rejection is a big thing, no one likes!
Once I do meet people I think I relax and make them at ease, being quite the socialble chap I am  |
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It's a long time since we did private meets but thinking back, it was my fear of rejection coupled with the worry that the guy would look NOTHING like his photo, or have all the charm of a cold bowl of sago and how we'd consequently deal with it, that made me nervous.
Once we decided we'd switch to only playing in clubs, a whole new kind of nervousness emerged ... but that's another story |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still get nervous, it's natural as we all want to be liked and rejection is a big thing, no one likes!
Once I do meet people I think I relax and make them at ease, being quite the socialble chap I am "
Nervous now.... And no decision made yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's odd, but since we have started meeting as I couple I don't 'nervous' about meets. I get 'excited', yes, but I can't call it nerves.
On the other hand, Perky still gets very nervous and worries for days ahead sometimes, if she is going to 'perform' to everyone's satisfaction (the truth is she always exceeds our meets dreams and they keep wanting to come back for seconds! Lol!) But she is getting better - still needs help for it (the wine bill is going down thanks to Rescue Remedy!), but much better than she was.
When I started swinging in the mid-80's I was so driven along by 'youthful cockiness' that I didn't see the nerves, but when I got back into it when my 20 year relationship broke down, due to how much my confidence in bed had been destroyed by my ex, I did suffer quite bad nerves for the first few months. I got over it and then began to enjoy it much more.
Everyone's different.... such is the way of the World..
 Pork |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I don't really get nervous any more. Is that an indication that I am a hardened bitch?
I know that I have met some guys who were nervous and I do my best to put them at their ease. It's meant to be fun, after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honesty I've never been nervous to meet anyone I always meet socially to begin with and men meet me blind mostly as I don't have any face pics to show
But then I'm not a naturally nervous person I take everything in life as a new experience the good with the bad and always see strangers in the sense they could very well be the new friend your yet to meet
I guess if you go along to a meet with the only expectation should be that your are going alon for just that but too many people on err I think feel that because they are on here they can't say no or they have to go through with things but as most will know its ok to say no sorry you're not for me and leave it at that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We both get nervous on a first meet, despite how much we may have chatted to the other couple prior to meeting. This is why we tend to do a social meet first, gets those nerves out of the way.
Red |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get really nervous beforehand and all sorts of things go thro my mind but I am getting better at it.
I think my problem is that I am a big girl and know I am not to everyones taste but have so many pics on now that I realise that anyone I am meeting knows what they are getting lol
L xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well Minxy, yes nerves do play a part of meeting, some of it is anticipation of a new adventure but I think it is also that fear of rejection.
We all take a huge risk when we meet,that the other party will say " sorry, you don't float my boat" we all want to be liked and found to be attractive |
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I don't get at all nervous about meets since I started meeting in public places for the first one. I do spend my working life flitting in and out of complete strangers business, getting very involved for brief periods of time so I am kind of used to it.
But I have been reminded how unusual I am when I have gone to touch someone on the arm as I make a point and felt them shaking! I am good, however, at then putting them at ease. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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always a little bit nervous, but the more men i meet the less nervous i get.
when i have met men for group sex there has sometimes been one who seemed nervous and i dont hear from them again afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am socially confident and meeting new people do not faze me.
However, meeting newbies the way I like to meet them in a somewhat compromised position in what my FAB friends would call a "newbie kink" does create a certain buzz that makes it worth while.
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The day I stop being a little nervous on a first meet is the day I will quit, it's a lot of the fun pushing yourself out to do just a little bit more than comfort level, that is not beyond boundaries that's a different thing all together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get nervous, to me its the fear of rejection. I still get nervous on the build up to a meet if I've met them before.
I cant cure the nerves, but its a good sign as its my bodies way I telling me I still Care. If that ever goes I've been swinging too long. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have many real sensible spells but here goes and be nice to me ......
I get nervous before going out on meets and being female imagined that most females do as well, I, rightly or wrongly assumed that for couples that wasn't the same, and hadn't thought about solo (and that word was chosen deliberately) guys, assuming that they didn't.
Having read something posted by a guy the other day about feeling nervous on his initial meet it got me thinking .......
On an initial social meet does everyone get really nervous and what are we all worried about? For me I think it's the he won't like me and ridicule me thought ..... Answers pls .... "
It's the human instinct to please. We're programmed by nature to want to please others, and of course fear we won't. I think we're all the same here in some sense, so just ride with it and see it as part of the experience x |
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As a couple we are nervous before every meet. However, to date every one of our meets has been at our house with no prior social setting. Therefore we are nervous because we are hosting and have all the worries with that plus the usual anxieties mixed with excitement. A truly euphoric sensation... Despite having a regular fb i love that nervousness hence why we try to meet new people when conditions permit. Yet to meet a single fem though.... That might be a whole differnt netvous sensation. |
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"yes i think it is natural to get nervous, the fear that she may not like you in the flesh as opposed to the image she has built up of you via pics and chat.
Ditto this guy above and below this bit saves me typing it all
the fact that you may not get on in social situation as opposed to the chat on a laptop, personalities and such
and biggest fear for men that we dont measure up in performance or expectations as compared to her previous meets
for me the biggest compliment and feel good is at end of meet she either asks or indicates that she would like to see me again , you leave a meet feeling ten feet tall and with that silly grin on your face lol
or at least i do "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been swinging on and off for about 4 years and only ever used this site. I still get nervous when I'm on a social or a meet for fun. It is initially about the 'what if they don't like me in person' or ' I hope I live up to there expectations' most of the time I find I had nothing to worry about in the first place lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aren't nerves part of the whole feeling? The adrenaline rush as you get to the meet, the heart racing. It's what I love about meets so much. Pre meet nerves are a feeling I have missed... lots. I've got a meet tonight and I'm nervous already. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been playing for a few years now and still get the butterflies of being nervous.
I think it adds to it all  "
I think my butterflies only add to the buzz of a meet, a bit like on a spur-of-the-moment one-night stand. Although the anxiety can stress you beforehand, the buzz when any sort of meet goes well is so worth it
As others have said,the day that buzz fizzles out will be the day I give up. Or look for anoher way of getting the buzz.... |
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Being nervous is all part and parcel of it, and just one of the things that makes it exciting.
I can remember that on our first social meet, I was bricking it when we got to the pub, so much so that I was too scared to get out of the car. It was only when Kate said, "stay there then, I'll go on my own" that I made my move.
It's been well over a year since our last meet, so don't know what I'll feel like on our next venture.
Kate is the total opposite to me, she's really bubbly and usually starts the ball rolling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking from a couples point of _iew, we almost have a role reversal.
I am normally very confident and outgoing and due to my profession, I have to be able to hold my own.
M is the shy one normally, however when we go on a private meet, he doesn't come across that way and takes the lead.
We were both nervous on our first private meet and club visit.
I still get nervous going on a private meet, the nerves of will that person be who we think they are, will the rapport be there, also I worry about what happens if it doesn't go according to plan.
We always met for a drink first, and once my initial nerves fade, I come out of my skin.
I'm sure it can't be easy for single people as at the end of the day, being a couple, you have someone with you who you know/trust and can rely on.
We have met a couple of guys who were very nervous but would like to think we are easy going, and so their nerves did go after a short time.
I suppose for a man, being part of a couple or a solo guy, you must be nervous that you will be perform up to standard?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never suffered from nerves, not professionally or in swinging. I'd say I revel in challenging situations and always seem to step up to the mark when needed. A former boss used to call me Mr Unflappable as when deadlines for job completions approached I didn't get into a flap if we weren't going to hit it, and it's been the same in swinging. Whenever we have a playmate over it's always me who takes the lead and Siren follows my cue. Once she's got her clothes off and is in action she relaxes and starts doing the things she wants to do but she struggles getting from the moment you say 'Hello' and it's all quite formal to shagging like a rabbit on speed.
The night I met her she was a rampant cow though and knew what she wanted! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get nervous before every meet - even when I've met them before !
5 minutes in somebodys company though and they have usually gone.
I think nerves are the primary reason for no shows.
I just wish that people would realise that the actual getting ready / getting there is often the hardest part ! |
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If you didn't have nerves, surely you wouldn't have feelings? If you didn't have feelings then how can you have a encounter?
Surely nerves simply heighten the pleasure of being with a new person , the excitement of looking/ meeting that person for the first time and hoping you can mentally and physically connect.
Realising what they want and like and making that person feel great.
I try to make the person I am with feel fantastic and put my other needs to the side, after all it's all about pleasure.
I get pleasure from seeing others enjoying and get just as much pleasure from being in the same room as taking part ,
I think without nerves it would be almost an alien and sterile environment ,,.. No fun in that xxxxxxx |
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