FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The friend issue
The friend issue
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.
Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.
He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation
Anyway.
Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?
I’m very confused |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?
Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?
That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had
What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?
Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?
That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had
What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive? "
Well I kind of value him as a friend? Like I thought we were going in that direction, especially as his interest was for another lady anyway.
So, I don’t get why he’d get shitty if I said .. err we are friends now, so definitely not gonna fuck u after I’ve basically been his therapist for the past however long  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
Only you can say, you know what was said and done we don't. People could read what you have written and read on thing into your words, others could look at it in the opposite way.
The devil is in the detail, often in the way the words were said rather than the words that were spoken.
Don't be swayed by others make your own decisions it is you that has to lib#ve with them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My messages have a few people (two couples in particular) who I really fancy but who do not want to fuck me. I still talk to them because I really enjoy the conversations, I know I will never have sex with them but would nevertheless love to have a social with them and that is enough for me.
Ditch the wally. He doesnt value the friendship, only your vagina. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago
land of make believe |
I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.
If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Kylie, the answer is as plain as the nose on your cute wee face.
LEAVE it. You could make a quilt out of all the red flags here!"
Hahah the last line killed me 
For the right Fuck boy, I’d be running straight into them red flags like a bull
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?
Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?
That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had
What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive?
Well I kind of value him as a friend? Like I thought we were going in that direction, especially as his interest was for another lady anyway.
So, I don’t get why he’d get shitty if I said .. err we are friends now, so definitely not gonna fuck u after I’ve basically been his therapist for the past however long "
So now a little more background comes out
As others have said, theirs no friendship to be had
If I want to be really honest, I’d guess that deep down you want to keep him in your pocket for some reason incase you want to fuck or something in the future?
That’s the only reason I could see for questioning this. Someone that gets shitty because you won’t fuck him anymore is never going to be a friend and you know that. So what’s going on? You’ve admitted it yourself in the past, you’ll blindside red flags for good dick. Is this what is happening? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.
If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx"
I’m currently letting some air on it, and circle back to see if he’s alright.
I am a bit gobsmacked how he thought , after all this, that I’d be interested in fucking him… like NAH.
The assumption and the “but you have no problem fucking guys with girlfriends”
The shock and the horror on my face  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *anB451Man
over a year ago
Reading |
"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.
Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.
He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation
Anyway.
Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?
I’m very confused "
Ditch the friendship. He doesn't see you as a friend he see's you as a fuck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is this even a question? Or do you have some feelings here your not disclosing?
Tell a guy you don’t want to fuck and he gets shitty?
That’s obvious to everyone with a brain there’s no friendship to be had
What aren’t you telling us? Or are you this naive?
Well I kind of value him as a friend? Like I thought we were going in that direction, especially as his interest was for another lady anyway.
So, I don’t get why he’d get shitty if I said .. err we are friends now, so definitely not gonna fuck u after I’ve basically been his therapist for the past however long
So now a little more background comes out
As others have said, theirs no friendship to be had
If I want to be really honest, I’d guess that deep down you want to keep him in your pocket for some reason incase you want to fuck or something in the future?
That’s the only reason I could see for questioning this. Someone that gets shitty because you won’t fuck him anymore is never going to be a friend and you know that. So what’s going on? You’ve admitted it yourself in the past, you’ll blindside red flags for good dick. Is this what is happening? "
No honestly, I literally have no feelings for him! That’s why I said, even if things don’t work out. There’s no way I can fuck him because mentally I can’t go there.
Like I can’t fuck any of my male friends even if they are attractive, because they are my friends!!!
Obviously I can cut him off, I’m just a girl who finds it hard to cut people off in general.
Also I felt a bit Shitty to be honest about how I felt but I generally did mean it when I said it’s me not him. He’s fairly good looking, but I see him on a different light so I can’t see him fuck me again. Not today nor tomorrow or nor in a million years time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.
Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.
He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation
Anyway.
Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?
I’m very confused "
Let it fizzle out. You’ve done the FB thing with him years ago, if it was right at the time, fine, but why go backwards? You’ve got back in touch with each other and like you say you put him in the friend box, he clearly still likes you but you can’t fuck him for the sake of it…. Walk away now.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.
Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.
He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation
Anyway.
Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?
I’m very confused "
Why are you confused ? If he wants to stay friends with you ..ok..but if not don't lose sleep over it ..it's his decision..you fuck who you want to fuck ..he's not one of them so your sexual adventure with him has ended, let him wonder all he likes what you're doing on a Saturday night , it none of his business. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It’s nice you value him as a friend but with how he acting and stuff said he thinks he can get you feel guilty and play.
Obviously he not happy in relationship or wouldn’t be wanting you that way and would be happy have you as friend.
Stay safe and happy lovely |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.
If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx"
I just wonder if there’s no true foundation because we started off as fuck buddies and he’s clearly not using his friendship head if he’s thinking about potentially fucking me. Or getting offended that I said I’m not gonna fuck you again. ever (because I see us as friends)
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out"
I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck
Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.
If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx
I just wonder if there’s no true foundation because we started off as fuck buddies and he’s clearly not using his friendship head if he’s thinking about potentially fucking me. Or getting offended that I said I’m not gonna fuck you again. ever (because I see us as friends)
"
Yep. This. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You're a lovely girl Kylie, so don't get yourself in a position where you'll get hurt so leave well alone. It's just a cock, there'll be others x"
Thanks! That ship has long sailed like, no longer interested in his dick  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It seems you've been really honest and straight forward. Sometimes friends aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Sad but it's just how it is, maybe this one is done?
And surely the right fuck boy wouldn't have any red flags? I reckon any time spent with the wrong person means less time available for the right one. This includes time with yourself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Is that he just wants to get his hands on your new boobies and is maybe even bullshitting you about his situation for a sympathy fuck?
Ooh my claws came out sorry.
But hey, new boobies new you, don't go back to the past.
PW |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
If it was me and we really were friends I’d actually just tell him his behaviour to you saying no is very c*nty and not acceptable.
But I’m getting the feeling he just wants a shag and not friendship in which case I’d tell him that you had a great time before but now he’s in a relationship you wish him all the best and that you are going to block him. Then block him. Don’t wait for a reply.
Then get on and find a non fuck boy guy who will treat you with respect.
Good luck lovely  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *dalisqueWoman
over a year ago
land of make believe |
"I have been in similar situations lots, not with ex fwb or fb but actual friends,it is a lack of respect for you and your feelings that he would react in that manner.
If the friendship means too much to lose then maybe have a bit of distance,talk about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, if not get rid because he isn't thinking about you at all and you deserve more from your friends. xx
I’m currently letting some air on it, and circle back to see if he’s alright.
I am a bit gobsmacked how he thought , after all this, that I’d be interested in fucking him… like NAH.
The assumption and the “but you have no problem fucking guys with girlfriends”
The shock and the horror on my face "
The very fact that he would say that to you means he doesn't respect you as a friend or human being.
I have male friends who want to fuck me or even date me and it is nice,sometimes flattering when they try or make a move but I would not put up with that level of disrespect.
I am similar because I always want to be there for everyone but you have to put yourself first.
You deserve so much better
Xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out
I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck
Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men! "
Exactly, he should be sorting his own situation out if not working and not complaining about not being able to sleep with you.
I've never strayed so I don't understand that mentality but he needs to either leave her or sort what's going wrong and stop acting like a kid because he's not getting what he wants |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.
Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.
He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation
Anyway.
Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?
I’m very confused "
Fuck him off
He'll be trouble from here on in |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Tell him it's not about him it's about you.
It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.
If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Okay, need a piece of advice, so I’ve got this friend , we started off ages ago as fuck buddies I guess , I’m talking years ago. Anyway, we stopped talking for a bit and then we recently got back in touch and became friends and we tell each other stuff. He confides in me about his new “relationship” (more like a situationship) problems and so on.
Anyway, he was being a bit suggestive in case his relationship wouldn’t work out and I sort of wanted to be honest and I told him that actually I now mentally put him in the friendship box, and that , I wouldn’t fuck him. He did ask if it was out of loyalty that I didn’t wanna mess him up, but told him the that it was because in my mind I see us as just friends.
He got quite offended and told me that I would fuck other guys with gfs but not him. (And kind of judging my morals on that) and that it’s definitely to do with him. When I did say, it’s to do with me and not him per se. He got really shitty about the whole situation
Anyway.
Should I try to keep this friendship going or is this kind of for the best that we just leave it?
I’m very confused "
Just my opinion and it's your call, but I'd cut him loose and leave it well alone. Sounds like he'll drag you down with his attitude |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out
I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck
Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men!
Exactly, he should be sorting his own situation out if not working and not complaining about not being able to sleep with you.
I've never strayed so I don't understand that mentality but he needs to either leave her or sort what's going wrong and stop acting like a kid because he's not getting what he wants "
It was more a situation of, well if he leaves her, then he was suggesting about us fucking again.
And I said no, not for me really x and he got all upset |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tell him it's not about him it's about you.
It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.
If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you "
I did say it’s definitely me and how I feel about it, and he said it’s totally him and that I don’t fancy him.
Which is kinda true, but it’s because I see him in a different light so sex isn’t on the card |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd just leave it there and not talk until he sorted his attitude out
I certainly didn’t like his attitude and how he called out on me and who I decide to fuck
Also why is he getting mad at me when his head should be on another woman? Like gawwwd , (some) men!
Exactly, he should be sorting his own situation out if not working and not complaining about not being able to sleep with you.
I've never strayed so I don't understand that mentality but he needs to either leave her or sort what's going wrong and stop acting like a kid because he's not getting what he wants
It was more a situation of, well if he leaves her, then he was suggesting about us fucking again.
And I said no, not for me really x and he got all upset "
Well hopefully he apologises to you for how he's acted |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
He’s a total scumbag. Whingeing about his girlfriend behind her back, and coming onto the girl he whinges about her to.
I wouldn’t give someone like that the time of day, but have fairly strong boundaries. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tell him it's not about him it's about you.
It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.
If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you
I did say it’s definitely me and how I feel about it, and he said it’s totally him and that I don’t fancy him.
Which is kinda true, but it’s because I see him in a different light so sex isn’t on the card "
Please see how manipulative he’s being! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tell him it's not about him it's about you.
It's your choice who you fuck and who you don't and you don't have to explain your choice to anyone.
If he can't handle that then he's ending the friendship and making that choice at least for you
I did say it’s definitely me and how I feel about it, and he said it’s totally him and that I don’t fancy him.
Which is kinda true, but it’s because I see him in a different light so sex isn’t on the card
Please see how manipulative he’s being!"
I think so, I’ve left him for now. But I’d kind of want an apology for the mean thing he said about me sleeping with some men and accusing me of having “no morals”
What a twit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
He isn’t a friend really is he. Avoid him, that’s the simple advice. Just text him and be clear, it’s not a drama, just explain you’re not feeling like he’s good for you and it’s important you respect each other and enhance each other, rather than be as it sounds. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Get him to fuck…his morals and undertone of chancing his arm shows little value to your friendship, he doesn’t deserve you in my opinion xx"
Yeah I think you are right. It’s friendship from my side but I don’t think it is , from his side and he hasn’t respected me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
x 