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Make up your own facts......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Football was invented by Sir Isaac Newton. After the first Apple incident he stood under the same tree, an apple fell and he volleyed it into the top corner. |
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"Football was invented by Sir Isaac Newton. After the first Apple incident he stood under the same tree, an apple fell and he volleyed it into the top corner."
I believe that. He had trials for Cobblingtown Town old boys.
Winston |
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"Running was invented in 1748 by Thomas Running, when he tried to walk twice at the same time.
"
Jogging was invented in the 80s by Jim'll Fix-It but he had a heart attack and died jogging due to the weight of his gold jewellery |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Running was invented in 1748 by Thomas Running, when he tried to walk twice at the same time.
Jogging was invented in the 80s by Jim'll Fix-It but he had a heart attack and died jogging due to the weight of his gold jewellery "
I wish that was true. |
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"Running was invented in 1748 by Thomas Running, when he tried to walk twice at the same time.
Jogging was invented in the 80s by Jim'll Fix-It but he had a heart attack and died jogging due to the weight of his gold jewellery
I wish that was true."
Same. 
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's a tribe of pygmies called the phucama, the live in the long grasses in the fertlie plains formed by the river.
They can only be heard when they attack other tribes or incomers,the war cry " where the phucama " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pluto isn’t a planet anymore because it decided to have its own pluxit and it was too cool for school to be in the boring planet club like the rest of them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Contrary to popular belief the internet wasn't invented in the 1960s - 70s by Tim Berners-Lee, but by the Egyptians in 47 BC.
It was thought it would help share knowledge about pyramid construction, but mostly got used for sharing nudes of Cleopatra, so they scraped the idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first electric battery was invented by the Irish after they got pissed off with people making jokes about their earlier invention of the solar powered torch - who's laughing now hey, HEY???
Impact triggered parachute - patent pending. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A very romantic wise old Japanese man called fukka Yumises from the village of Knackersaki invented swinging for his wife in the year of the cock (1069)
He got the idea after noticing her constantly ordering spitroast drizzled with cream of sumyounguy on her justmeat carrier pigeon app. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jaffa cakes were invented by !
Lord wonko !
In 1658 to keep the troops happy on way to battle of naseby
Lord wonko was a royalist
So had all his lands and estates forfeit to the crown  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cheese was invented by Madonna after she watched a documentary on how to make atomic bombs in one's bath, pap don't brie.became quite popular amongst the indigenous people of stretham common so much she added cheddar however this wasn't such a success . She blamed it on the brie  |
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Football was originally intended to be a sport for amputees but, following a big night out, they were all legless and on their arses, rather than on the pitch. Instead, men from the local Temperance Committee were asked to stand in, and the rest, as they say, is history  |
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When Captain Scott was planning his Antarctic expedition he approached the famous Fortnum and Maisons and asked them to develop a warming none alcoholic drink that the men could drink in their tents at night.
The task was passed to a junior chef in the store who developed a malted powder that could be mixed with milk and heated on a gas stove.
The young chef’s name was ‘Malty Horlicks’
Which by coincidence is my drab superhero name ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you were to mix the inside of a cream egg with the inside of a kinder egg you’d end up with a powerful explosive capable of blowing the bloody doors off. |
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"If you were to mix the inside of a cream egg with the inside of a kinder egg you’d end up with a powerful explosive capable of blowing the bloody doors off."
Not a lot of people know that. 
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The key was invented by a single man after a conversation with his married freind, his freind told him that he couldn’t find his wife’s clitoris.
The man thought he was missing out something and he needed something in his life that he couldn’t find, and on that day the key was invented. |
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"The human male ejaculates, on average, 1500 times in their lifetime. "
That’s only once a day for four years of their life, really ? If you watch fab statuses the guys are doing it in at least half that time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you fart and burp at the same time you spontaneously combust, unless you are in the bath at time.
Having done this in the bath myself and not spontaneously combusted, I know the latter part is true. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Fake taxi's aren't actually fake.
They're real black cabs. The fact that every time you use one in London and don't get a shag is purely down to the fact the driver thinks you're a munter.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plants are actually more sentient than we think, and are actually farming animals, feeding them oxygen till they die and then use the remains as a source of food and places to grow and live. |
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