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FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Double standards

Double standards

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By *rhuges OP   Man  over a year ago

Cardiff

I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The best thing on this site is dont expect a thing. Folk are odd

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

That's not a double standard that's just a woman not replying to a message that could have easily been a forum reply.

If she'd have replied and been nasty about your looks, that would have been a double standard.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

Yep

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman  over a year ago

Markfield


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

You say “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” but you are complaining that someone didn’t say anything at all

Perhaps the lady had a hard time dealing with the even bigger number of messages she got as a result of her post on the forum and didn’t have have a chance to read and reply to all of them?

Whatever the reason, don’t dwell on it. Also, here’s my rule: don’t judge others by your own standards

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I always find it’s good to get stressed and make forum posts over complete strangers on the internet.

Try doing that.

Oh, wait a minute.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That's not double standards, she probably had 50 other messages that day with that line. There's a lot of people on here who act like they are being caring and switch to you dirty chat when they get a response. Hard to figure out who's genuine or who's just looking for an opening to get their end away.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You were reading through the forums a while ago...

So, this has bothered you for a while,

Or

You messaged her recently about an old forum post?

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By *he MuffinmanMan  over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

Absolutely 100% agree….. this is exactly what my mum always used to say

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Absolutely 100% agree….. this is exactly what my mum always used to say "

Was your mum on fab?

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By *iss.ddWoman  over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

This isn't a double standard though?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you wrote the message just to be nice then it wouldn't matter if you got a reply or not.

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By *uckslut and MCouple  over a year ago

Poole

We get lots of compliment only messages. We used to thank the person by reply. Problem then started, the person thought it was an invertation to get in my knickers. We would get hounded to meet. So we don't always reply now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Absolutely 100% agree….. this is exactly what my mum always used to say

Was your mum on fab?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

See that’s whare you went wrong is pming

You should have just sed it in the forums post openly

She could have took it is your looking for away in

Way I see it is I wouldn’t say anything different bween a pm and forums post

And don’t really care who see what I type

So always just public open and honest with people on what I think off them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you wrote the message just to be nice then it wouldn't matter if you got a reply or not.

"

Check mate.

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By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

You can't expect a reply to unsolicited mail.

Were you really not trying to sweet talk her, because it sounds like you were messaging her to elicit some kind of response, since you're bummed out enough to make a post about not getting one?

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By *he MuffinmanMan  over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Absolutely 100% agree….. this is exactly what my mum always used to say

Was your mum on fab?"

Don’t think so …..but she passed away in January so didn’t get round to asking

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By *he MuffinmanMan  over a year ago

West Gloucestershire


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Absolutely 100% agree….. this is exactly what my mum always used to say

Was your mum on fab?

Don’t think so …..but she passed away in January so didn’t get round to asking "

By the way I was agreeing to the last bit of the OP forum message not the opening bit ….. as most people have already said the OP’s message could have got misconstrued as an opening gambit So, why not just say it in the Forum

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

From reading threads I have come to the conclusion that: men and women think differently about the world . Men generally all have the same kind of view and likewise women . Emphasising the generally - not everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

So because she didn't reply yo your email you're some how under the impression that she deserves so have recieved those earlier messages being nasty about her looks?

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

I've never subscribed to the "if you haven't anything nice to say...." trope because "nice" is subjective.

The site is full of "nice" people but often that niceness has to be challenged if they are hiding behind it.

One piece of advice often given on the forums is to not let the words and apparent actions of random strangers on the internet upset you.

Another piece of advice is to not believe everything you read on the forums or in status updates.

Not every forum thread or comment complaining about abusive mail is genuine just as not every forum comment or status about pics,verifications, or other people's fab journey are genuine either.

The lady in question could have been inundated with messages like yours and couldn't respond to them all but it's equally possible none of it was real and she achieved what she set out to do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"See that’s whare you went wrong is pming

You should have just sed it in the forums post openly

She could have took it is your looking for away in

Way I see it is I wouldn’t say anything different bween a pm and forums post

And don’t really care who see what I type

So always just public open and honest with people on what I think off them "

This, I straight wawa delete private messages from the forum cause 10 times out of times it could of just been a reply on the forum instead of clogging up my inbox

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"See that’s whare you went wrong is pming

You should have just sed it in the forums post openly

She could have took it is your looking for away in

Way I see it is I wouldn’t say anything different bween a pm and forums post

And don’t really care who see what I type

So always just public open and honest with people on what I think off them

This, I straight wawa delete private messages from the forum cause 10 times out of times it could of just been a reply on the forum instead of clogging up my inbox "

*straight away

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You're acting like you've been the nice guy by offering her support, but your post shows that you aren't really a nice guy.

The 'she doesn't owe you anything brigade'..you sound bitter, not nice at all.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"See that’s whare you went wrong is pming

You should have just sed it in the forums post openly

She could have took it is your looking for away in

Way I see it is I wouldn’t say anything different bween a pm and forums post

And don’t really care who see what I type

So always just public open and honest with people on what I think off them

This, I straight wawa delete private messages from the forum cause 10 times out of times it could of just been a reply on the forum instead of clogging up my inbox "

Yip definitely

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

Maybe that is exactly why she didn't reply ...she didn't have anything 'nice' to say!

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham

You made a mistake by messaging someone that probably gets 500 messages a day

Don’t be upset when you don’t get a reply

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

So basically what you are saying is that you sent her a nice message off the back of a thread you read telling her shee was lovely thinking that would be a great way to open conversation with her because you like her profile and now that she didn't reply she must be a right snobby cow. Hmmmm sounds more like run of the mill "nice" messages that people send on here all the time thinking blowing smoke up others asses will get them a reply. Then they get mad when it doesn't. She probably got a load of messages telling her the exact same thing. And you could easily have said it in the thread if you actually meant it. The fact that you are so annoyed because she didn't reply kind of shows it was a disingenuous message and you only did it to start a conversation.I would think she will most likely read this if she is a forum poster and be happy she didn't fall for it as this whole thread will have proven her actions right.

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38

You do not know what kind of day the woman was having.

Maybe she was having a really crappy day and was not in the head space to read/reply to unsolicited messages

I hope she doesn't read this and feel bad about something she shouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I get it must be frustrating for men not to get any replies....but it's equally as frustrating when a lot of men won't take no for an answer.

That's why site rules say no response is a response.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So basically what you are saying is that you sent her a nice message off the back of a thread you read telling her shee was lovely thinking that would be a great way to open conversation with her because you like her profile and now that she didn't reply she must be a right snobby cow. Hmmmm sounds more like run of the mill "nice" messages that people send on here all the time thinking blowing smoke up others asses will get them a reply. Then they get mad when it doesn't. She probably got a load of messages telling her the exact same thing. And you could easily have said it in the thread if you actually meant it. The fact that you are so annoyed because she didn't reply kind of shows it was a disingenuous message and you only did it to start a conversation.I would think she will most likely read this if she is a forum poster and be happy she didn't fall for it as this whole thread will have proven her actions right. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Absolutely 100% agree….. this is exactly what my mum always used to say

Was your mum on fab?

Don’t think so …..but she passed away in January so didn’t get round to asking "

Err condolences.

As if you played the dead parent card.

Low blow dude.

I also have a dead parent.

1-1, your move.

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By *xydadbodMan  over a year ago

Milton keynes


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

Well, see it from her perspective though.. she probably had a lot of the same messages exactly like that and most ladies would have hundreds of messages so going through each one would be a PA nightmare I'm sure. You done your part, just move on really. Don't let it get you down

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"That's not double standards, she probably had 50 other messages that day with that line. There's a lot of people on here who act like they are being caring and switch to you dirty chat when they get a response. Hard to figure out who's genuine or who's just looking for an opening to get their end away."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You're acting like you've been the nice guy by offering her support, but your post shows that you aren't really a nice guy.

The 'she doesn't owe you anything brigade'..you sound bitter, not nice at all. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dont worry be happy

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By *ockosaurusMan  over a year ago

Warwick


"If you wrote the message just to be nice then it wouldn't matter if you got a reply or not.

"

Yup.

Sounds like nice guy syndrome.

I have to admit, I have written messages to people that seemed depressed before as I've been there and thought it might help give them a boost, but I never expect a reply (and usually make that clear).

The intention of these message is really important and is often really easy to discern.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The rude, ugly bitch! She should have been more grateful, right??

Don’t do a nice thing with expectation. It totally takes the niceness away.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham

Regardless of how many messages someone gets,the situation described by the op is in no way a double standard.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you wrote her a DM to be 'nice' then you would do so without expectation of a reply.

She never asked for a message, she owes you nothing

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By *nabelle21Woman  over a year ago

B38


"Regardless of how many messages someone gets,the situation described by the op is in no way a double standard. "

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

I think you should have written your message in the forum.

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By *avie65Man  over a year ago

In the west.

If I pay someone a compliment or I don't look for a reply, why should I.

If someone is having a shite day or period of time I tell them to contact me if them need anything, if they don't reply I get upset. They have much more going on than I.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If I pay someone a compliment or I don't look for a reply, why should I.

If someone is having a shite day or period of time I tell them to contact me if them need anything, if they don't reply I get upset. They have much more going on than I. "

x

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By *2000ManMan  over a year ago

Worthing

Don't take it personally o/p. Women and couples get lots of messages every day and cannot reply or even read them all. Just join in with forum/cam chat.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"Don't take it personally o/p. Women and couples get lots of messages every day and cannot reply or even read them all. Just join in with forum/cam chat."

Even if it's the only message received it makes no difference. It'd not w double standard.

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By *aked2sumCouple  over a year ago

Coast


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you. "

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham

Not replying to a message on here should results in a permanent ban and being outcast from society like that Tom Hank’s film except no Wilson for company

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you. "

Don't you dare imply that people deserve abusive messages because they choose not to reply to unsolicited messages.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

Maybe she was having a bad day. She doesn't have to reply to every message she gets x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you. "

So those of us who have had abusive messages, it’s our own fault?

The man that called me a cunt because I didn’t reply to his 3 x wuu2 messages?

Should I just spend all my time replying to every message I receive? Or should I use my time as I wish on here?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That isn’t a double standard OP…

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple  over a year ago

Coventry

I think too many people take and non reply and/or delete to heart. We are in in this to find what we are looking for in what is a vast ocean. I don't expect that because I've sent an unsolicited message to someone they owe me any of their time or energy in return. I'm just not that entitled by nature. So if it's a case of no reply that's perfectly fine and I have my answer. I get it's disheartening when you've put time and effort into a message but people don't owe you their time for something they didn't ask for. Take it on the chin and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

So those of us who have had abusive messages, it’s our own fault?

The man that called me a cunt because I didn’t reply to his 3 x wuu2 messages?

Should I just spend all my time replying to every message I receive? Or should I use my time as I wish on here?"

In my defence in the third one I asked Wyd.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman  over a year ago

Thurrock

Did you reply on the forum or privately

I'd personally delete it if you took it to private message as there's no need to take forum posts into private message unless asked to

It feels sleezy so it was probably deleted before it was opened

Keep everything out in the open then the original poster can contact you if they wanted

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

So those of us who have had abusive messages, it’s our own fault?

The man that called me a cunt because I didn’t reply to his 3 x wuu2 messages?

Should I just spend all my time replying to every message I receive? Or should I use my time as I wish on here?

In my defence in the third one I asked Wyd."

It was the gaping arsehole pic on that one that was the problem

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By *iman2100Man  over a year ago

Glasgow

I have sent complimentary messages in the past, but did not expect a reply. I have however received several "thank you" replies.

Don't worry about it. A lot of guys use complimentary or supportive personal messages as a way to open a conversation, so women and couples are aware of this and often don't tempt fate by responding.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

So those of us who have had abusive messages, it’s our own fault?

The man that called me a cunt because I didn’t reply to his 3 x wuu2 messages?

Should I just spend all my time replying to every message I receive? Or should I use my time as I wish on here?

In my defence in the third one I asked Wyd.

It was the gaping arsehole pic on that one that was the problem "

I knew that would backfire one day.

Pun intended.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Did you reply on the forum or privately

I'd personally delete it if you took it to private message as there's no need to take forum posts into private message unless asked to

It feels sleezy so it was probably deleted before it was opened

Keep everything out in the open then the original poster can contact you if they wanted "

I've turned off messages from guys and this was partly the reason why. No reason to go off the forum thread. It is intrusive.

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"I have sent complimentary messages in the past, but did not expect a reply. I have however received several "thank you" replies.

Don't worry about it. A lot of guys use complimentary or supportive personal messages as a way to open a conversation, so women and couples are aware of this and often don't tempt fate by responding."

Just imagine that... Having a conversation with someone who is trying to be kind... Whatever next.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself "

OP are you going to reply to everyone who has taken the time to post on your thread ?

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

The world of fab is a very fickle place OP. Just because you have manners means nothing on here. As someone said previously "expect nothing from the site" and anything that happens is a bonus. Take no notice of what others are doing/not doing.

Just keep being you x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have sent complimentary messages in the past, but did not expect a reply. I have however received several "thank you" replies.

Don't worry about it. A lot of guys use complimentary or supportive personal messages as a way to open a conversation, so women and couples are aware of this and often don't tempt fate by responding.

Just imagine that... Having a conversation with someone who is trying to be kind... Whatever next. "

pretending in order to get in someone's knickers isn't kind...

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By *ackformore100Man  over a year ago

Tin town


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone "

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sometimes the messages are so nasty it makes me not want to look at mail again, which I don't except from trusted people I have already chatted to. It's not personal. Don't take it to heart even if what you were doing is nice. Just be happy that you did a nice thing for someone even if they didn't notice it

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By *ornucopiaMan  over a year ago

Bexley


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

"

That rather sounds like you would have 'sweet talked' her if she had been nearer.

Double standards?

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By *aked2sumCouple  over a year ago

Coast


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit."

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think your fatal mistake was possibly anticipating a response to your kindness. I wouldn't sweat it, you're clearly a nice person as are many on here unfortunately we all get tarred with the same brush

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By *rooperRedMan  over a year ago

Littlehampton

This place is all about the double standards. "Not here to collect notches on the bed post" says member with 251 verifications. "No one liner profiles" says member with one liner profile.

And the all time, most common type of member: offended on someone else's behalf.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion "

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure.

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By *aked2sumCouple  over a year ago

Coast

Is it me or does it seem strange how the people moaning about not having time to reply to messages spend a lot of time replying to messages in the forums ? just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion "

Funny that this is the comment you replied to and not the other people who made similar statements to mine

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is it me or does it seem strange how the people moaning about not having time to reply to messages spend a lot of time replying to messages in the forums ? just a thought "

Maybe because I enjoy the forum, but I don’t enjoy sending rejection messages?

People can use their time as they wish

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By *aked2sumCouple  over a year ago

Coast


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure. "

I never suggested anything of a sort it just how you chose to perceive it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit."

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail"

Take the “deserve” part out

No says they deserve it. You added that in yourself

I agree with the rest though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think your fatal mistake was possibly anticipating a response to your kindness. I wouldn't sweat it, you're clearly a nice person as are many on here unfortunately we all get tarred with the same brush"

That's just not true. I can recognise a genuine, sincere man much more easily because of the cockwombles. And I appreciate them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail

Take the “deserve” part out

No says they deserve it. You added that in yourself

I agree with the rest though."

Do you know what the word 'imply' means?

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail

Take the “deserve” part out

No says they deserve it. You added that in yourself

I agree with the rest though.

Do you know what the word 'imply' means?"

Yeah, and I don’t feel they implied someone deserves it, they implied it’s a consequence

Big difference

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"

Don’t think how you intended it to be read, think how it was read. I bet 10 other guys did the same thing, and I bet they weren’t all as genuine as you might have been. I bet the flood of ‘not all men…’ messages she got was hard to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is it me or does it seem strange how the people moaning about not having time to reply to messages spend a lot of time replying to messages in the forums ? just a thought "

I often think this too

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail

Take the “deserve” part out

No says they deserve it. You added that in yourself

I agree with the rest though.

Do you know what the word 'imply' means?

Yeah, and I don’t feel they implied someone deserves it, they implied it’s a consequence

Big difference "

Either way it's Victim blaming

The only reason people send nasty and abusive messages is because they're nasty peoplell

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By *annaBeStrongMan  over a year ago

wokingham


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail

Take the “deserve” part out

No says they deserve it. You added that in yourself

I agree with the rest though.

Do you know what the word 'imply' means?

Yeah, and I don’t feel they implied someone deserves it, they implied it’s a consequence

Big difference

Either way it's Victim blaming

The only reason people send nasty and abusive messages is because they're nasty peoplell"

I’m glad we agree

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure.

I never suggested anything of a sort it just how you chose to perceive it "

Yep. Me and the other women who replied perceiving it exactly the same way. I mean, you could have said "I certainly didn't mean to imply that. No one deserves to receive abuse".

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You are just one person think how many other people could have thought the same thing and messaged her, she would have been inundated also she never actually asked for people to message her so just because you were being nice it still doesnt mean she had to reply, a reply sometimes is like an ivitation to start a conversation when she probably didnt want to chat...

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *aked2sumCouple  over a year ago

Coast


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail"

We just don’t get abusive messages read into this whatever you feel and no we don’t reply to all messages like I said we reply to all decent polite messages but I’ve never victim shamed anyone and certainly don’t think we’re superior so where the chip on your shoulder as come from I’ve no idea . But have your rant I’m saying no more

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Let me help you

"We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . "

They don't get abusive messages because they reply politely to all their mail, implying that women who do get abusive messages deserve it because they don't reply to all their mail

We just don’t get abusive messages read into this whatever you feel and no we don’t reply to all messages like I said we reply to all decent polite messages but I’ve never victim shamed anyone and certainly don’t think we’re superior so where the chip on your shoulder as come from I’ve no idea . But have your rant I’m saying no more "

It's not about 'reading into any thing' it's pretty much what you said.

Unless you're saying that me and all the other women on the thread who got the same vibe off your comment are pulling things out of thin air?

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *aked2sumCouple  over a year ago

Coast


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure.

I never suggested anything of a sort it just how you chose to perceive it

Yep. Me and the other women who replied perceiving it exactly the same way. I mean, you could have said "I certainly didn't mean to imply that. No one deserves to receive abuse". "

So I have to be careful what I say in fear of upsetting people do I ? ok point taken

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure.

I never suggested anything of a sort it just how you chose to perceive it

Yep. Me and the other women who replied perceiving it exactly the same way. I mean, you could have said "I certainly didn't mean to imply that. No one deserves to receive abuse". "

Yes, multiple people have perceived their comment the same way but of course its all of us perceiving it incorrectly lol

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure.

I never suggested anything of a sort it just how you chose to perceive it

Yep. Me and the other women who replied perceiving it exactly the same way. I mean, you could have said "I certainly didn't mean to imply that. No one deserves to receive abuse".

So I have to be careful what I say in fear of upsetting people do I ? ok point taken "

No of course not, you should be free to say what you want and show people your real opinions about certain situations the same way as everyone else.

However if you start making sly digs at people you must understand that people will react to them

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure.

I never suggested anything of a sort it just how you chose to perceive it

Yep. Me and the other women who replied perceiving it exactly the same way. I mean, you could have said "I certainly didn't mean to imply that. No one deserves to receive abuse".

So I have to be careful what I say in fear of upsetting people do I ? ok point taken

No of course not, you should be free to say what you want and show people your real opinions about certain situations the same way as everyone else.

However if you start making sly digs at people you must understand that people will react to them"

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

 

By *ucka39Man  over a year ago

Newcastle


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

You say “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” but you are complaining that someone didn’t say anything at all

Perhaps the lady had a hard time dealing with the even bigger number of messages she got as a result of her post on the forum and didn’t have have a chance to read and reply to all of them?

Whatever the reason, don’t dwell on it. Also, here’s my rule: don’t judge others by your own standards "

This totally

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

  

By *aked2sumCouple  over a year ago

Coast


"I was reading through the forums a while ago and read one about a single women how had had horrid mails about the way she looked.

I actually had some human sympathy and wrote her a very nice message, saying I wasn't trying to sweet talk her as she lived too far away but I thought she looked stunning and would think she would have the pic of men wanting to sleep with here.

Do I get a thankyou ,? No do I get any reply no ,infact I just got deleted .

What this sight does is remove any human kindness from people. You get the she doesn't owe you anything brigade, they are right but I generally live by two rules . Treat people how you would want to be treated yourself and if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Your quite right we see all the time in these forums woman complaining about abusive messages , in all our time on fab we've had 1 at the most . We put that down to the fact we reply politely to all our decent messages and compliments . We don’t see the point in a profile if your going to ignore everyone who bothers to make an effort to message you.

You may have time to reply to every message that gets sent to you and that's fine, not everyone does have the time and as it says in the site rules 'no reply means not interested'

Victim shaming and acting superior just because you don't recieve abusive messages doesn't help anyone

Victim shaming? I didn't see that bit.

Knowbody saw that but just seems like some people come on here spoiling for an argument knowbody is acting superior or victim shaming we’re merely having a discussion

You made the comment suggesting that it's because women don't reply to messages that they get abusive messages. If women react to that - they're spoiling for a fight? Ok, sure.

I never suggested anything of a sort it just how you chose to perceive it

Yep. Me and the other women who replied perceiving it exactly the same way. I mean, you could have said "I certainly didn't mean to imply that. No one deserves to receive abuse".

So I have to be careful what I say in fear of upsetting people do I ? ok point taken

No of course not, you should be free to say what you want and show people your real opinions about certain situations the same way as everyone else.

However if you start making sly digs at people you must understand that people will react to them"

Jesus Christ give it up iv not made a sly dig at anyone and certaInly not mentioned anyone merely past a comment that you chose not to agree with so please stop this personal attack and abuse

Reply privately (thread closed by moderator)

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