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What to do….
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
Ok so this may be long and boring but here goes.
So last year I noticed I was losing pigment in my skin which at the time I was able to hide. Now I have patches on my face (which I can still hide kind of and are still pretty light) and patches on my chest. Now I took a boob pic the other day and hadn’t realised how bad it had got there and because I’m not that dark it just looks like dirt. It’s so embarrassing.
Now I just think if I meet someone do I forewarn them? I feel kind of embarrassed by it and don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to add filters on pics to cover it because what’s the point. I’m in two minds whether to stay or go. |
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Do what you feel is best for you. If you are going to be on edge waiting for them to make a comment then tell them in advance so you can be relaxed about it.
Personally it wouldnt bother me if we met and i wouldnt even pass comment on it. Noone is perfect and i would find it rude if they did. |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Do what you feel is best for you. If you are going to be on edge waiting for them to make a comment then tell them in advance so you can be relaxed about it.
Personally it wouldnt bother me if we met and i wouldnt even pass comment on it. Noone is perfect and i would find it rude if they did."
It’s weird because it’s not the end of the world but it feels like I’m going to say I’ve got some transferable disease  |
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"You look fantastic.
Anyone shallow enough to be put off by pigment tones isn't worth meeting anyway.
You would be surprised how many times the colour of my skin comes up "
It shouldnt. I have psoriasis which gives me patches of skin that look like scar tissue. No ones ever said boo to me and if it was a problem, it's their problem ot mine. That said, I do get self conscious about it but that's me doing it to myself, not anyone else. |
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I would definitely put a disclaimer that you aren’t dirty, it’s just a skin thing
Saying that though I don’t think guys care that much about something insignificant
You probably notice this 1000x more than anyone else
But yeah, probably a good idea to let people know your not just dirty |
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"Do what you feel is best for you. If you are going to be on edge waiting for them to make a comment then tell them in advance so you can be relaxed about it.
Personally it wouldnt bother me if we met and i wouldnt even pass comment on it. Noone is perfect and i would find it rude if they did.
It’s weird because it’s not the end of the world but it feels like I’m going to say I’ve got some transferable disease "
I wouldnt mind running the risk 
On a serious note you look fantastic with a body to die for and i think anyone that passes comment are insecure in themselves so try to shift it onto others. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have one ear that sticks out more than the other  None of us are perfect …you look great. I think anyone who mentions it or is put off by it fuck them off anyway. It’s part of who you are and to be fair with tits like that doubt they will notice anyway (sorry) |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"I would definitely put a disclaimer that you aren’t dirty, it’s just a skin thing
Saying that though I don’t think guys care that much about something insignificant
You probably notice this 1000x more than anyone else
But yeah, probably a good idea to let people know your not just dirty "
Have to second the part about you will be noticing it far more than they are.
Not quite the same, but an ex of mine had lots of freckles over her upper torso. She made it seem like she was covered in them when it was only really noticeable after she had told me about her insecurity of them. Didn't change how I saw her though. |
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Look at you! You are beautiful. You mustn’t go.
Having said that it doesn’t matter what anyone says if you’re conscious of it then that won’t change. I am the same with patches of eczema I have. I didn’t meet for ages because of it so I do get how you feel. I think you will feel better if you mention it or maybe when you send a private pic send one where it’s noticeable and perhaps mention it then. Please don’t leave over this though. Most men really won’t mind. They’d be lucky to meet you. xx  |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"You look fantastic.
Anyone shallow enough to be put off by pigment tones isn't worth meeting anyway.
You would be surprised how many times the colour of my skin comes up
It shouldnt. I have psoriasis which gives me patches of skin that look like scar tissue. No ones ever said boo to me and if it was a problem, it's their problem ot mine. That said, I do get self conscious about it but that's me doing it to myself, not anyone else."
I know what you mean and I it doesn’t bother me seeing it on others but I don’t know why I’m struggling with it on myself. |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"I would definitely put a disclaimer that you aren’t dirty, it’s just a skin thing
Saying that though I don’t think guys care that much about something insignificant
You probably notice this 1000x more than anyone else
But yeah, probably a good idea to let people know your not just dirty "
This actually made me laugh…. Maybe write in the pic with an arrow …. NOT DIRT |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Don’t be anything other than you…your lovely OP your very stunning and a completely beautiful lady inside and out.
Let people take you for nothing less  "
Thank you but on here outside is what counts more than inside sometimes |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
Don’t see it as a flaw see it as something unique to you, own it!
We all have scars, freckles, birthmarks etc those little things that make us self conscious of our appearance but when we just go ‘you know what, this is my body, this is me’ and you embrace your own beauty that’s the best feeling!
Sure you can seek advice and perhaps take some supplements to help but confidence costs nothing, love yourself honey! You are fucking beautiful! Xx |
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"Don’t be anything other than you…your lovely OP your very stunning and a completely beautiful lady inside and out.
Let people take you for nothing less
Thank you but on here outside is what counts more than inside sometimes "
To some. Those are the ones you wouldn't want to meet anyway |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"You’re sexy AF op, but if it does bother you (and it would me), omega 3 can help. "
Thank you gorgeous. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me and when it first started it didn’t but all of a sudden I’m like it there here and everywhere and it’s shocking me really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t be anything other than you…your lovely OP your very stunning and a completely beautiful lady inside and out.
Let people take you for nothing less
Thank you but on here outside is what counts more than inside sometimes "
Disagree completely, it’s not just the outside that’s a turn on, mental connection is key too.
Someone may be beautiful outside but if they are dead inside then it’s the biggest turn off |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"I would definitely put a disclaimer that you aren’t dirty, it’s just a skin thing
Saying that though I don’t think guys care that much about something insignificant
You probably notice this 1000x more than anyone else
But yeah, probably a good idea to let people know your not just dirty
Have to second the part about you will be noticing it far more than they are.
Not quite the same, but an ex of mine had lots of freckles over her upper torso. She made it seem like she was covered in them when it was only really noticeable after she had told me about her insecurity of them. Didn't change how I saw her though. "
I know that my facial ones are still very faint so unless I point them out I don’t think people would tell |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
My advise would be to not let it define you, so you don’t have to bring it up specifically any more than you would scars, tattoos, funny looking toes etc.
It may put some people off, but then people are fickle and can be put off by so many things.
Just try not to let it control you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be proud of who you are, you're beautiful and if people can't see that then that's their problem not yours. You have alot of good qualities and that's what shines through for me. |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Look at you! You are beautiful. You mustn’t go.
Having said that it doesn’t matter what anyone says if you’re conscious of it then that won’t change. I am the same with patches of eczema I have. I didn’t meet for ages because of it so I do get how you feel. I think you will feel better if you mention it or maybe when you send a private pic send one where it’s noticeable and perhaps mention it then. Please don’t leave over this though. Most men really won’t mind. They’d be lucky to meet you. xx "
My problem is I’m finding it difficult to say anything I couldn’t even tell my family. It’s like I should hide it. I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want it to be an issue and kind of think it would be easier not to be here as then not to mention it . |
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"Look at you! You are beautiful. You mustn’t go.
Having said that it doesn’t matter what anyone says if you’re conscious of it then that won’t change. I am the same with patches of eczema I have. I didn’t meet for ages because of it so I do get how you feel. I think you will feel better if you mention it or maybe when you send a private pic send one where it’s noticeable and perhaps mention it then. Please don’t leave over this though. Most men really won’t mind. They’d be lucky to meet you. xx
My problem is I’m finding it difficult to say anything I couldn’t even tell my family. It’s like I should hide it. I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want it to be an issue and kind of think it would be easier not to be here as then not to mention it ."
It’s a self confidence issue. I totally get it. If you want to message me feel free. I do get where you’re coming from but not going into it on here xx |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
I have a birthmark on my arm, not huge, but certainly obvious. It is very unique and recognised by those that known it. I would have it on shown in pics, but it's a direct giveaway of identity.
I'm lucky that I can cover it with a long sleeve. As a kid I loved it, as a teenager and young adult I became very self conscious over it, as an adult I just think this is my body so fuck whoever does not like the parts that I'm unable to change.
As I say if it were not for the clear indication of identity I'd have no worry at all about it being on my pics. But to those that want to see (or don't care) I'd share without a second thought.
Always easier to say than do, but embrace your body. It's different to what is "normal" but it does not change how sexy and attractive you are. |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
What’s bothering me is I know that I could have something worse that this is hardly anything and that I’m still me regardless but I can’t shake this real embarrassment about it. Maybe it’s because I was born with the skin tone I had and now I’m looking like a patchwork quilt I don’t know. |
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"Ok so this may be long and boring but here goes.
So last year I noticed I was losing pigment in my skin which at the time I was able to hide. Now I have patches on my face (which I can still hide kind of and are still pretty light) and patches on my chest. Now I took a boob pic the other day and hadn’t realised how bad it had got there and because I’m not that dark it just looks like dirt. It’s so embarrassing.
Now I just think if I meet someone do I forewarn them? I feel kind of embarrassed by it and don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to add filters on pics to cover it because what’s the point. I’m in two minds whether to stay or go."
Mark replying. I have two relatives with vitiligo which causes comments. It’s easy for us to say ignore it but it’s not so easy when it’s you. I have bad scars from various operations and accidents and I know how I feel about them |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I personally wouldn’t mention it, everyone has bits about their bodies they don’t like. But you seem very self conscious about it so I’d it helps tell them and send a pic first , but I can’t imagine it would make the slightest bit of difference to whether someone likes you or wants to see you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once seeing someone that had psoriasis it never bothered me and I didn't even ask at the time what it was but she told me they had comments in the past. If someone is so shallow to say something nasty to you then they ain't worth your time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a different condition which poses me a similar dilemma. I've opted not to advertise it so far and no one's ever raised it with me (probably just through politeness) but there'll come a time when I'll have to I'm sure, as it's starting to hold me back.
Even if you didn't look as good as you do, I'm sure few people would care, but luckily you do look like you do so I think the number will be even smaller! My mum's chest and arms are covered in vitiligo and I actually just think it looks interesting.
I know it's easier said than done but just try owning it. One plus re my thing is that I care way less about things like lumps and bumps than other people as most of my insecurity is focused elsewhere lol, gotta try find a silver lining  |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"I have a different condition which poses me a similar dilemma. I've opted not to advertise it so far and no one's ever raised it with me (probably just through politeness) but there'll come a time when I'll have to I'm sure, as it's starting to hold me back.
Even if you didn't look as good as you do, I'm sure few people would care, but luckily you do look like you do so I think the number will be even smaller! My mum's chest and arms are covered in vitiligo and I actually just think it looks interesting.
I know it's easier said than done but just try owning it. One plus re my thing is that I care way less about things like lumps and bumps than other people as most of my insecurity is focused elsewhere lol, gotta try find a silver lining "
Pretty much everything you just said sound like me. This is going to hold me back if I can’t kick my self up the arse. I have other things I’m not comfortable with. I’m happy to say I’ve got a mum tum I hide and hate, I’m happy to say my boobs usually talk to my belly button without a bra on but this is different. |
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Dear OP. I have a baldy head, I do not wear a wig, toupee or hat, but I do provide photos of my baldy head when people ask. Sometimes they say “no” after seeing the baldy head (it’s not my face, honest!) and I get a little glum, but I quickly shrug it off and move on.
The loss of pigmentation is a bit like having a baldy head, you can’t do anything about it, some people will care, most won’t. The person it bothers the most, is probably you.
So as I have had to learn to like (or at least tolerate) my baldy head, you will have to accept the things about yourself you cannot change, confidence is always the sexiest trait.
((I like saying “baldy head”, sorry if you noticed)) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so this may be long and boring but here goes.
So last year I noticed I was losing pigment in my skin which at the time I was able to hide. Now I have patches on my face (which I can still hide kind of and are still pretty light) and patches on my chest. Now I took a boob pic the other day and hadn’t realised how bad it had got there and because I’m not that dark it just looks like dirt. It’s so embarrassing.
Now I just think if I meet someone do I forewarn them? I feel kind of embarrassed by it and don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to add filters on pics to cover it because what’s the point. I’m in two minds whether to stay or go."
Stay
I have lived with vitiligo for the last 30 years
I have it head to toe
It's all over my groin too, so there's no hiding it in intimate moments
I embrace it - I talk about it openly - most people have found it fascinating and actually LIKE it - it's something different
The advantages:
My cock looks like desert camo action man
My arse crack looks like I've been anally bleached
The disadvantages:
I can't sunbathe |
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It may be vitiligo. It’s more common than one might think. We have it on our family and obviously it’s less noticeable on fair/Caucasian skin. Our thought is that you don’t need to explain any part of you to anyone. If it puts anyone off then it’s probably the first but not not the only personality trait they have that will make you want to “swipe left”. |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Dear OP. I have a baldy head, I do not wear a wig, toupee or hat, but I do provide photos of my baldy head when people ask. Sometimes they say “no” after seeing the baldy head (it’s not my face, honest!) and I get a little glum, but I quickly shrug it off and move on.
The loss of pigmentation is a bit like having a baldy head, you can’t do anything about it, some people will care, most won’t. The person it bothers the most, is probably you.
So as I have had to learn to like (or at least tolerate) my baldy head, you will have to accept the things about yourself you cannot change, confidence is always the sexiest trait.
((I like saying “baldy head”, sorry if you noticed))"
I guess it’s the same as people who are attached to their hair and lose it, in the sense that it can make them lose confidence. I like baldy head |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"Ok so this may be long and boring but here goes.
So last year I noticed I was losing pigment in my skin which at the time I was able to hide. Now I have patches on my face (which I can still hide kind of and are still pretty light) and patches on my chest. Now I took a boob pic the other day and hadn’t realised how bad it had got there and because I’m not that dark it just looks like dirt. It’s so embarrassing.
Now I just think if I meet someone do I forewarn them? I feel kind of embarrassed by it and don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to add filters on pics to cover it because what’s the point. I’m in two minds whether to stay or go.
Stay
I have lived with vitiligo for the last 30 years
I have it head to toe
It's all over my groin too, so there's no hiding it in intimate moments
I embrace it - I talk about it openly - most people have found it fascinating and actually LIKE it - it's something different
The advantages:
My cock looks like desert camo action man
My arse crack looks like I've been anally bleached
The disadvantages:
I can't sunbathe "
How did younger when it first started?
I like the way you put your advantages. I am hoping it hits the bags under my eyes because they are way to dark. |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
"It may be vitiligo. It’s more common than one might think. We have it on our family and obviously it’s less noticeable on fair/Caucasian skin. Our thought is that you don’t need to explain any part of you to anyone. If it puts anyone off then it’s probably the first but not not the only personality trait they have that will make you want to “swipe left”. "
I know, I just feel if I don’t say anything and they point it out It may kill the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so this may be long and boring but here goes.
So last year I noticed I was losing pigment in my skin which at the time I was able to hide. Now I have patches on my face (which I can still hide kind of and are still pretty light) and patches on my chest. Now I took a boob pic the other day and hadn’t realised how bad it had got there and because I’m not that dark it just looks like dirt. It’s so embarrassing.
Now I just think if I meet someone do I forewarn them? I feel kind of embarrassed by it and don’t know how to bring it up. I don’t want to add filters on pics to cover it because what’s the point. I’m in two minds whether to stay or go.
Stay
I have lived with vitiligo for the last 30 years
I have it head to toe
It's all over my groin too, so there's no hiding it in intimate moments
I embrace it - I talk about it openly - most people have found it fascinating and actually LIKE it - it's something different
The advantages:
My cock looks like desert camo action man
My arse crack looks like I've been anally bleached
The disadvantages:
I can't sunbathe
How did younger when it first started?
I like the way you put your advantages. I am hoping it hits the bags under my eyes because they are way to dark."
I was conscious of it at first and it wasn't as bad then
The worry was all mine though
It is a degenerative condition and spreads with age, although I haven't noticed any more new areas recently
There's no realistic treatment for it other than make up
You will learn to accept and love it, it is part of what makes you unique
It's one of things you tend to get worked up about, but people couldn't give two hoots about
If you are super conscious of it, raise it beforehand so you aren't worried about reactions when you disrobe
As I've said, people have always been fine about it, fascinated if anything
I can pretty much guarantee a guy will just look past a paler patch on your boob when faced with you in all your glory - it will be you that will be conscious of it
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP i share your angst as i have a birth mark that i am very conscious of. So far the only person it seems to bother is me, which is maybe a similar situation for you.
I understand that it is hard to ignore comments when they are directed to things you cannot change - you could add a line to the bottom of your profile mentioning you have some pigmentation variation to your skin, but that your rather not discuss it further? |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"It may be vitiligo. It’s more common than one might think. We have it on our family and obviously it’s less noticeable on fair/Caucasian skin. Our thought is that you don’t need to explain any part of you to anyone. If it puts anyone off then it’s probably the first but not not the only personality trait they have that will make you want to “swipe left”.
I know, I just feel if I don’t say anything and they point it out It may kill the moment. "
It will be them killing the moment by asking, their own curiosity killed it. |
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"It may be vitiligo. It’s more common than one might think. We have it on our family and obviously it’s less noticeable on fair/Caucasian skin. Our thought is that you don’t need to explain any part of you to anyone. If it puts anyone off then it’s probably the first but not not the only personality trait they have that will make you want to “swipe left”.
I know, I just feel if I don’t say anything and they point it out It may kill the moment. "
I guess time will tell but I’d think it would be so seldom you may miss out on one or two nights of fun for every 30 or 40.
Of course, the same might just as easily apply to any thought expressed that the other may kill the mood. E.g I couldn’t maintain the mood of someone want me to call them daddy or mommy.
Best wishes however you make comfort with it. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
Own it.
You will think it is more prominent than it actually is. I have things I don't like and think they stand out like a lighthouse at night, but whenever I mention it to anyone they wonder what I'm talking about as they haven't noticed it.
If anyone makes a negative remark about it ignore them or point out to them that they are an ignorant arseh*le. |
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By *inkylips OP Woman
over a year ago
Debauchery |
Thank you all for your words of wisdom and kindness. I’ve decided I may add it into my profile with some comedy I haven’t quite decided but I do feel better about it today than I did yesterday. So big thank you to the forum community x |
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"Thank you all for your words of wisdom and kindness. I’ve decided I may add it into my profile with some comedy I haven’t quite decided but I do feel better about it today than I did yesterday. So big thank you to the forum community x"
You look lush. X |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
I have Vitiligo. Patches of my skin don’t produce melanin, people used to ask about it when I was a kid but I don’t worry about it now. If someone wants to be with you then these things don’t matter. In fact some people find little quirks like that make a person more attractive.
Just be happy with you and screw anyone else…not literally of course unless you want to |
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"I have Vitiligo. Patches of my skin don’t produce melanin, people used to ask about it when I was a kid but I don’t worry about it now. If someone wants to be with you then these things don’t matter. In fact some people find little quirks like that make a person more attractive.
Just be happy with you and screw anyone else…not literally of course unless you want to "
I’ll take a naked spooning please…….for starters anyway….. |
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. I’m off to study your ears 