FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Fab should add a skin colour preference to the message filter
Fab should add a skin colour preference to the message filter
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By *ames-77 OP Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha "
Only if we get another filter to filter out anyone who uses that. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha
Only if we get another filter to filter out anyone who uses that. "
 This. Why, just why in this day and age should this even be a consideration for anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are a million other things they could offer us a filter for that I would think are more useful and important to most users …
So what you saying "
That it’s a terrible idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha "
I agree. The worst is when you know you're a good looking gent, and you message a lady and she says you're not her type and as a black guy, you can't help but wonder, " is it because I'm black" I was chatting with a lady some months ago and she told me me out of her entire office staff of about 20 women, only 2 of them liked black guys, and not black guys only, but black guys at all.
So yea, that's why sometimes if it's not stated in their preference black or white guys, I prefer just to ask of they're interested in black guys, rather than write a long intro post to be rejected for being black.
Btw I respect anyone's right to preference as long as they're not racially motivated (to clarify) if a lady says she prefers white guys because she likes blonde hair and blue eyes etc I'm like cool. If she says she doesn't like black guys because she things they smell funny or our features are ugly, like big lips etc or dark skin looks ugly, then I would have a problem because you're being derogatory.
But yea, that's my 2 cents |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or. Just read peoples profiles I’d say want black guys and your white don’t message them simple don’t need filter for that"
The problem is there are profiles where they won't state they want white guys only for fear they'll come across as racist (which they won't, in my opinion) and as a black guy you won't know until you message them (and then if they reject you, you still might not know if it's because of your race) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Should be lots of filters. Reduce people to a sex meat tick box.
I can't be arsed wasting time reading profiles or chatting. I want my hole filled by someone I fancy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or. Just read peoples profiles I’d say want black guys and your white don’t message them simple don’t need filter for that
The problem is there are profiles where they won't state they want white guys only for fear they'll come across as racist (which they won't, in my opinion) and as a black guy you won't know until you message them (and then if they reject you, you still might not know if it's because of your race) "
I got what you're saying here, but doesn't that apply to anyone who gets rejected?
Do they really need to know if it's because they're too fat, thin, short, unattractive... it is their choice and maybe its better to be unaware why they don't choose to feel attracted to us
PNG x |
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha
I agree. The worst is when you know you're a good looking gent, and you message a lady and she says you're not her type and as a black guy, you can't help but wonder, " is it because I'm black" I was chatting with a lady some months ago and she told me me out of her entire office staff of about 20 women, only 2 of them liked black guys, and not black guys only, but black guys at all.
So yea, that's why sometimes if it's not stated in their preference black or white guys, I prefer just to ask of they're interested in black guys, rather than write a long intro post to be rejected for being black.
Btw I respect anyone's right to preference as long as they're not racially motivated (to clarify) if a lady says she prefers white guys because she likes blonde hair and blue eyes etc I'm like cool. If she says she doesn't like black guys because she things they smell funny or our features are ugly, like big lips etc or dark skin looks ugly, then I would have a problem because you're being derogatory.
But yea, that's my 2 cents "
Whereas when I get messages asking if I like black guys it goes ignored. My perception and initial thought of being asked that is "I can see your skin colour by your photo, so you must be asking because skin colour is incredibly important to you, whereas it's not incredibly important to me, so based on that we're incompatible" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha
I agree. The worst is when you know you're a good looking gent, and you message a lady and she says you're not her type and as a black guy, you can't help but wonder, " is it because I'm black" I was chatting with a lady some months ago and she told me me out of her entire office staff of about 20 women, only 2 of them liked black guys, and not black guys only, but black guys at all.
So yea, that's why sometimes if it's not stated in their preference black or white guys, I prefer just to ask of they're interested in black guys, rather than write a long intro post to be rejected for being black.
Btw I respect anyone's right to preference as long as they're not racially motivated (to clarify) if a lady says she prefers white guys because she likes blonde hair and blue eyes etc I'm like cool. If she says she doesn't like black guys because she things they smell funny or our features are ugly, like big lips etc or dark skin looks ugly, then I would have a problem because you're being derogatory.
But yea, that's my 2 cents
Whereas when I get messages asking if I like black guys it goes ignored. My perception and initial thought of being asked that is "I can see your skin colour by your photo, so you must be asking because skin colour is incredibly important to you, whereas it's not incredibly important to me, so based on that we're incompatible""
While you have a point there. If you don't message you'll never know and you can ask in your first message. It's a bit of a mathematical paradox, if you understand what I'm saying. Hope that makes sense (can break it down further if you'd like) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people request no uglies or sluts. Should we have filters for them too? "
.I've never seen a profile that says no ugly. The most you see is height and weight requirements (I have a weight requirement on mine, just to avoid too many messages) |
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha
I agree. The worst is when you know you're a good looking gent, and you message a lady and she says you're not her type and as a black guy, you can't help but wonder, " is it because I'm black" I was chatting with a lady some months ago and she told me me out of her entire office staff of about 20 women, only 2 of them liked black guys, and not black guys only, but black guys at all.
So yea, that's why sometimes if it's not stated in their preference black or white guys, I prefer just to ask of they're interested in black guys, rather than write a long intro post to be rejected for being black.
Btw I respect anyone's right to preference as long as they're not racially motivated (to clarify) if a lady says she prefers white guys because she likes blonde hair and blue eyes etc I'm like cool. If she says she doesn't like black guys because she things they smell funny or our features are ugly, like big lips etc or dark skin looks ugly, then I would have a problem because you're being derogatory.
But yea, that's my 2 cents
Whereas when I get messages asking if I like black guys it goes ignored. My perception and initial thought of being asked that is "I can see your skin colour by your photo, so you must be asking because skin colour is incredibly important to you, whereas it's not incredibly important to me, so based on that we're incompatible"
While you have a point there. If you don't message you'll never know and you can ask in your first message. It's a bit of a mathematical paradox, if you understand what I'm saying. Hope that makes sense (can break it down further if you'd like) "
You'll either get a reply or you won't. Why even turn it into a race thing? I know from reading your posts over time it's something that's heavily on your agenda but ya can't expect other folk not to think about race as a "thing" when it's something you bring up from the get go in a message. As I say, starting off with it will put off more people than it attracts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only think this filter works effectively on sites/apps where you match before talking to people and that don’t have features like chatrooms and forums.
I don’t know if I agree with the idea but equally whether I agree with it or not doesn’t really matter- people have preferences and will filter based on them regardless. I don’t think it will work very well on here though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha
Only if we get another filter to filter out anyone who uses that. "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where do you draw the line? Is it purely based on colour? So would a dark skinned, say, Turkish person be filtered out? Or would a black filter only filter out people of African origin? Would lighter skinned North African/ Arab people be ruled out at this point?
When people say "no Asians" do they include pale skinned Japanese people? As well as darker people from the subcontinent? What about a pale, well spoken Azerbaijani? Is it culture or colour? Each to their own likes and dislikes but it feels like dodgy territory to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only think this filter works effectively on sites/apps where you match before talking to people and that don’t have features like chatrooms and forums.
I don’t know if I agree with the idea but equally whether I agree with it or not doesn’t really matter- people have preferences and will filter based on them regardless. I don’t think it will work very well on here though.
"
By the way, you know my stance on racial preferences already.   |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination? |
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"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?"
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination? "
I don't agree with the filter at all, but this is a perfectly valid point. |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination? "
I don't think it is, sexual discrimination would stop one gender from doing something the other gender could do. That is how I would explain that, I could be wrong? |
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Nah that's just daft but would be good to filter out a few other things like height or age preferences over anything else! You don't like certain things about ppl then don't chat to them simples ... bit rude to filter out skin colour don't ya think! Maybe should be a filter for ppl who find skin colour an issue too while your there!! Sure might aswell put a size filter while your there too!! Jeez |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination?
I don't think it is, sexual discrimination would stop one gender from doing something the other gender could do. That is how I would explain that, I could be wrong? "
The problem is people see a stop sign as a 'discrimination' now. If someones not attracted to a skin colour its a preference not a discrimination. Same as gender choice thats a preference & hair colour ect. I think adding, skin colour, hair colour, facial hair, bald, body type filters ect ect would filter out the massive amount of unwanted emails people get. Its a preference set by the receiver, if someone wants dark skin only then its their right to filter that preference no light skin person should think they have the right to push on a meet or persuade the choice that the receiver doesnt want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination? "
what do you mean you’re straight and I can’t suck your dick…. You homophobe!!! |
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"Some people request no uglies or sluts. Should we have filters for them too?
.I've never seen a profile that says no ugly. The most you see is height and weight requirements (I have a weight requirement on mine, just to avoid too many messages) "
We’ve seen a few saying no ugly women
The weight/body type preference is honest but still people would find it insulting. I put myself in the average category & my husband says slim…some might think I’m out of shape as not a gym body! Personally, skin colour or heritage is irrelevant but I wouldn’t go for a blonde or redhead so not attracted to men needing spf 30+
I think it’s better to say what you do like on the bio rather than what you don’t (in terms of physical appearance) so, don’t think any more filters are needed |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination?
I don't think it is, sexual discrimination would stop one gender from doing something the other gender could do. That is how I would explain that, I could be wrong?
The problem is people see a stop sign as a 'discrimination' now. If someones not attracted to a skin colour its a preference not a discrimination. Same as gender choice thats a preference & hair colour ect. I think adding, skin colour, hair colour, facial hair, bald, body type filters ect ect would filter out the massive amount of unwanted emails people get. Its a preference set by the receiver, if someone wants dark skin only then its their right to filter that preference no light skin person should think they have the right to push on a meet or persuade the choice that the receiver doesnt want. "
My opening line was 'when does preference become prejudice". If your preference is white skin but not black skin, and you are given the choice to remove any person with black skin, have you removed race?
Let's say this filter was installed, when you sign up do you need to add your skin type? How would work without offence? |
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"Some people request no uglies or sluts. Should we have filters for them too?
.I've never seen a profile that says no ugly. The most you see is height and weight requirements (I have a weight requirement on mine, just to avoid too many messages)
We’ve seen a few saying no ugly women
The weight/body type preference is honest but still people would find it insulting. I put myself in the average category & my husband says slim…some might think I’m out of shape as not a gym body! Personally, skin colour or heritage is irrelevant but I wouldn’t go for a blonde or redhead so not attracted to men needing spf 30+
I think it’s better to say what you do like on the bio rather than what you don’t (in terms of physical appearance) so, don’t think any more filters are needed "
I'm naturally dark and I know many blonds far more tanned than me . My partner and my brother's best friend are also ginger and far more tanned than me. My brother'ss best friend is a builder so often outside so usually has quite a tan. I on the other hand need SPF 50, 30 is for amateurs! I barely tan in 45 degree sun. I don't think hair colour is always a very good indicator of your skin tone. |
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It’s also interesting where people draw the line too
“I don’t want any fatties messaging me! Or short guys! Fuck then! And youve gotta head full of hair or you can fuck off too!
Little bit rude to have a skin colour preference though”
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s also interesting where people draw the line too
“I don’t want any fatties messaging me! Or short guys! Fuck then! And youve gotta head full of hair or you can fuck off too!
Little bit rude to have a skin colour preference though”
"
My point exactly. Just look at pics and bio and decide for yourself  |
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"Some people request no uglies or sluts. Should we have filters for them too?
.I've never seen a profile that says no ugly. The most you see is height and weight requirements (I have a weight requirement on mine, just to avoid too many messages)
We’ve seen a few saying no ugly women
The weight/body type preference is honest but still people would find it insulting. I put myself in the average category & my husband says slim…some might think I’m out of shape as not a gym body! Personally, skin colour or heritage is irrelevant but I wouldn’t go for a blonde or redhead so not attracted to men needing spf 30+
I think it’s better to say what you do like on the bio rather than what you don’t (in terms of physical appearance) so, don’t think any more filters are needed
I'm naturally dark and I know many blonds far more tanned than me . My partner and my brother's best friend are also ginger and far more tanned than me. My brother'ss best friend is a builder so often outside so usually has quite a tan. I on the other hand need SPF 50, 30 is for amateurs! I barely tan in 45 degree sun. I don't think hair colour is always a very good indicator of your skin tone. "
No, you’re quite right! I was waffling a bit. But I meant I like easy tan skin - just grouped it all together! I just like darker colouring in general |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination?
I don't think it is, sexual discrimination would stop one gender from doing something the other gender could do. That is how I would explain that, I could be wrong?
The problem is people see a stop sign as a 'discrimination' now. If someones not attracted to a skin colour its a preference not a discrimination. Same as gender choice thats a preference & hair colour ect. I think adding, skin colour, hair colour, facial hair, bald, body type filters ect ect would filter out the massive amount of unwanted emails people get. Its a preference set by the receiver, if someone wants dark skin only then its their right to filter that preference no light skin person should think they have the right to push on a meet or persuade the choice that the receiver doesnt want.
My opening line was 'when does preference become prejudice". If your preference is white skin but not black skin, and you are given the choice to remove any person with black skin, have you removed race?
Let's say this filter was installed, when you sign up do you need to add your skin type? How would work without offence?"
Youve removed a attribute you dont find attractive thats all. And that my friend is a preference that should be respected |
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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago
Terra Firma |
"When does preference become prejudice? Having a racial preference is racist and I would be surprised if anyone could argue it wasn't.
Finding attractiveness or sexual appeal in what you find familiar is normal, humans find comfort in familiarity. However allowing people to filter out race feels like a backward step, isn't it allowing race discrimination?
Isn’t filtering by gender also sexual discrimination?
I don't think it is, sexual discrimination would stop one gender from doing something the other gender could do. That is how I would explain that, I could be wrong?
The problem is people see a stop sign as a 'discrimination' now. If someones not attracted to a skin colour its a preference not a discrimination. Same as gender choice thats a preference & hair colour ect. I think adding, skin colour, hair colour, facial hair, bald, body type filters ect ect would filter out the massive amount of unwanted emails people get. Its a preference set by the receiver, if someone wants dark skin only then its their right to filter that preference no light skin person should think they have the right to push on a meet or persuade the choice that the receiver doesnt want.
My opening line was 'when does preference become prejudice". If your preference is white skin but not black skin, and you are given the choice to remove any person with black skin, have you removed race?
Let's say this filter was installed, when you sign up do you need to add your skin type? How would work without offence?
Youve removed a attribute you dont find attractive thats all. And that my friend is a preference that should be respected "
I can see your point of view, I prefer x so I don't want to see y.
Removal of colour through preference will remove a race and that is racism.
The OP's title is add skin colour preference to the message filter, in real world use that equates too, remove a race from messaging me.
I've made my point and it hasn't turned into a free for all, and I'm thankful for that |
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha
Only if we get another filter to filter out anyone who uses that. "
I'm up for that filter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s also interesting where people draw the line too
“I don’t want any fatties messaging me! Or short guys! Fuck then! And youve gotta head full of hair or you can fuck off too!
Little bit rude to have a skin colour preference though”
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha
Only if we get another filter to filter out anyone who uses that.
I'm up for that filter "
I can't be arsed to get into all of this again, so I'm just saying yes to this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One filter I'd find helpful is one to filter out couples who don't want to meet single guys.
I know it's in the profile, but saves clicking in the first place.
As for the OP...No, wrong, so wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One filter I'd find helpful is one to filter out couples who don't want to meet single guys.
I know it's in the profile, but saves clicking in the first place.
As for the OP...No, wrong, so wrong. "
When you search you can include that as a filter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One filter I'd find helpful is one to filter out couples who don't want to meet single guys.
I know it's in the profile, but saves clicking in the first place.
As for the OP...No, wrong, so wrong.
When you search you can include that as a filter? "
Only if they've blocked single guys, unless I'm looking at wrong place. |
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"As much as I hate to say that title it just seems fitted.. all you see if profiles saying black only and white only and people getting offended.. add the filter then there's no need for them to write it.. be interesting to see what else they've got to say haha "
There already is on the search filters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One filter I'd find helpful is one to filter out couples who don't want to meet single guys.
I know it's in the profile, but saves clicking in the first place.
As for the OP...No, wrong, so wrong.
When you search you can include that as a filter?
Only if they've blocked single guys, unless I'm looking at wrong place. "
When you search you're looking for M/F couples who want to meet a man? You will only be shown couples who've indicated they're looking for men.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. We're all the same. Colour means nothing."
What about age i see your only interested in 30 plus.. but surely age is just a number everyones a number  so numbers mean nothing
.... ohhh thats a preference 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This would be perfect actually
I know a lot of black and Asian people on here who prefer to only meet their own ethnicity so would definitely make using the site easier for certain groups |
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