FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Face pic rejection
Face pic rejection
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A polite "no not for me, but happy looking" is usually what I get after a face pic, the reality is there are loads of people on here and I know I won't be to everyone's taste, I also take rubbish face pics too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I find that we don't ask for face pics, except for on our front page, and I think this is so we don't have to feel bad turning people down! Too polite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely, we can't be everyone's cup of tea so just have to accept it and move on.
Being honest is the best thing to do, don't block after receiving like I've had happen to me. It's a dick move and ultimately makes a person feel more shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely, we can't be everyone's cup of tea so just have to accept it and move on.
Being honest is the best thing to do, don't block after receiving like I've had happen to me. It's a dick move and ultimately makes a person feel more shit."
That's awful and has happened to me too. Honesty is the best way. I'm OK if there's no response, disappointed sure but I'll live. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id sooner be told, its only a 'sorry your not my type' that is needed, id never ask why, id never dwell on it id just accept it and move on to someone that my face rattles their lettuce.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'd rather a polite "you're not my type" than just getting no response. But also appreciate, if you were to do that with all that aren't your type it would just be time wasted. Easier to just move on I suppose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t mind what happens after I’ve sent a face pic’. If they reply with a no, fine. If they delete and block, fine. If they  and insult, fine. I can’t control the other party’s reaction, so I don’t take it personally. I’m adult and know I won’t be suited to everyone’s tastes.
I treat people with courtesy, let them down politely, and with respect if I find I don’t think someone is for me. |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
Some folk look better in the flesh though...?
... and we aren't all super/stud model photogenic so it's a gamble but can be well worth a social sometimes anyway, no?  |
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We’ve never had an outright rejection. We usually get a positive reply but then things fizzle out which is fine as I have to admit this is my way of dealing with it too. I hate rejecting people so unless they are persistent and ask me outright then I don’t give a rejection.
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some folk look better in the flesh though...?
... and we aren't all super/stud model photogenic so it's a gamble but can be well worth a social sometimes anyway, no? "
 Social within 2 weeks of first chatting. Can't always tell from a pic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Smiling photos work best I feel, where the person looks happy. A lot of facepics I get are straight face which makes the person look miserable and unappealing.
I'd rather be told after I've sent a facepic too, if someone wasn't attracted. I can handle it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This happend on a regular basis to me when I was actively looking to meet, I always prefered a polite no thanks.
I know it must be tough sending that message but, I always preferred getting it to being ignored or blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont give a mug shot unless im certain i want to bang them up the poop shoot if they say no its no big shake i dont put much effort into trying to meet folks anyway im far too awkward |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Smiling photos work best I feel, where the person looks happy. A lot of facepics I get are straight face which makes the person look miserable and unappealing.
I'd rather be told after I've sent a facepic too, if someone wasn't attracted. I can handle it. "
Aww I feel bad for men having to take a selfie. Usually at a really unflattering angle and the look of a crazed angry serial killer! 
That's how I take mine too.  |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I proclaim "Dickheads" and scowl a bit before laughing about it
C
So contact ends there or you let them know it's 'no thanks'?"
I think most people of here know if you don't get a message back its enough of a rejection. If we've both decided no and I get to it first I just delete the messages most of the time.
P |
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I'd deffinatley prefer a polite no thank you.
Although I can completely understand why people just delete, no one wants to upset any one but I can only imagine the abuse that some people get, even from sending a friendly "sorry your not for us"
Not every one is going to be attracted to every one else is just about finding people where there is a mutual attraction  |
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I don’t reject just from a face pic. Not many men are good at taking selfie’s either. I have the same face in all mine but it’s concentration rather than trying to look seductive!!
If there’s a massive beard though I reply with a polite ‘not for me’ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Some folk look better in the flesh though...?
... and we aren't all super/stud model photogenic so it's a gamble but can be well worth a social sometimes anyway, no? "
Yeah I hate my pic being taken, trying to smile but looks like I'm constipated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just picked up on this....
I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason
I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone
Likewise I have rejected/passed on women and couples at a social - sadly on both occasions , they where no big enough to accept that I didn't like them and in both cases I was very very badly stalked for months - which ended up with Police being involved
So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol
J xx  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just picked up on this....
I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason
I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone
Likewise I have rejected/passed on women and couples at a social - sadly on both occasions , they where no big enough to accept that I didn't like them and in both cases I was very very badly stalked for months - which ended up with Police being involved
So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol
J xx "
They called the police cos you didn't fancy them? Assault and battery of their pride? |
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I have face pics on public view, so that people can decide I look awful before they even ask. The only mystery remaining would be what my genitals look like, but I'm not showing photos of those to anybody. I don't want to see them myself so I'm certainly not letting complete strangers gawp at them. |
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"Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people?"
We just say something like "sorry but you're not for us, happy swinging xx". We hate those who ghost others instead of making things clear, also those who waste your time by keeping you hanging on for weeks or months with no intention of meeting grrrr |
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"Just picked up on this....
I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason
I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone
Likewise I have rejected/passed on women and couples at a social - sadly on both occasions , they where no big enough to accept that I didn't like them and in both cases I was very very badly stalked for months - which ended up with Police being involved
So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol
J xx "
Lol we have a couple who utterly misled us with VERY old photos. Still they continuously attempted to change our minds over the next hour or two and were visibly upset and annoyed when we finally walked away !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I send a free pack of eye bleach out by courier.
Its up to you when you use it? As a preventative, or a consolation!
In reality, I am a realist and would rather not waste time if there is no attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people?"
This happened to me once, I just said OK and moved along
You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
"Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people?"
Funny this came up, just yesterday, a day before a social, all sorted time and place I then sent a face pic and she replied "sorry I'm not attracted to you", my reply was to thank her for her honesty and not wasting my time or stringing me along, I would rather be told. I have been chatting to and trying to arrange socials with two or three others that I feel are just messing about and I would rether be kindly rejected at an early stage than have my hopes built up and time wasted. |
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By *histlerMan
over a year ago
Guildford |
Normally is a no reply - but I don’t know if that’s my face putting them off or my message. Probably both!
I did have a message from someone on my friend list after being in the chat room with them saying I was better looking than my pic suggest. I’m screwed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just picked up on this....
I would rather people just be honest - no sense in carrying on chatting to someone if there is no attraction - likewise one of the benifits of having a "social meet" is for the same reason
I have been rejected/let down after social meet, you just have to be big enough to accept you can't please everyone
Likewise I have rejected/passed on women and couples at a social - sadly on both occasions , they where no big enough to accept that I didn't like them and in both cases I was very very badly stalked for months - which ended up with Police being involved
So it's not all plain sailing this "adult dating/meeting" malarkey lol
J xx
They called the police cos you didn't fancy them? Assault and battery of their pride? "
I called the police after the husband physically threatend me outside of my offices - all because he/they lied about and faked all their pictures, so when we did meet and I instantly knew they whee not for me, I politly told them so - only to shout at in the street "its only fucking sex mate"
He stalked me for near on 6 months
Trust me - stalking is scary
J |
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"Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people?"
If we send the first message we always include one or two face photos. Our logic behind this is so the recipient can see what we look like early on and if we’re not for them on the basis of a face picture then nobody’s time is wasted.
We understand that some people are driven totally by looks and the initial attraction. Equally we have sufficient emotional maturity to understand that regardless of reasons, we won’t be for everyone. On that basis alone, we have no issue receiving a “no thank you”. We take our time deciding who to message and always send a polite informative introductory message. It’s appreciated when a reply is received, even if it’s “no thank you”.
But… a no reply is interpreted as “not for us”. If our message is read and deleted without a reply then we block them. This isn’t to be rude, or to snub them, just an acknowledgment that they aren’t interested so we don’t need to see them in search results or our update feed.
We have never received a rude decline, and never sent one either. We have also never responded with a why? It doesn’t matter, it’s no!
There is absolutely no need to be rude to people though. Stop thinking of it as profiles. Behind each profile is a person. |
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When you view profiles without faces you imagine a face that's never going to be right, when you then see their face pic its just strange, though some people look better in person than in photos and visa versa. |
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"Would you rather be told by someone they're not interested after you've sent a face pic? Obviously, it seems less rude to send a polite rejection, but it feels like you're kicking someone in the balls at the same time. How do you handle this fab people?"
“We can’t be everyone’s cup of tea” is what I say
I did receive “I’m not instantly attracted to you” from a woman once…… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's harder to actually tell someone you don't fancy them. That's why so many people ghost. I've been ghosted that many times though, that I'd rather do the honest thing and tell someone. And I'd rather have someone tell me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's harder to actually tell someone you don't fancy them. That's why so many people ghost. I've been ghosted that many times though, that I'd rather do the honest thing and tell someone. And I'd rather have someone tell me. "
I guess that is becuase they are scared of offending do you think ?
I always send current/very recent face pic with my first message - that way people can make that judgment immediately before they respond to the first message
I think that makes sense ?
J xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's harder to actually tell someone you don't fancy them. That's why so many people ghost. I've been ghosted that many times though, that I'd rather do the honest thing and tell someone. And I'd rather have someone tell me.
I guess that is becuase they are scared of offending do you think ?
I always send current/very recent face pic with my first message - that way people can make that judgment immediately before they respond to the first message
I think that makes sense ?
J xx "
Yeah - not wanting to offend people, but the general consensus seems to be that people aren't that fussed. |
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My face pic is often my downfall on fab, and it is a bit of a thump to be fair. But I’ve been around these parts some 10 years now and have got used to it.
I deal with it by not dealing with it, I just forget it happened and move on |
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"It's harder to actually tell someone you don't fancy them. That's why so many people ghost. I've been ghosted that many times though, that I'd rather do the honest thing and tell someone. And I'd rather have someone tell me. "
Hear here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My face pics are private these days as I have a face like a melted welly! 
I appreciate a polite no thanks but don't expect one or get annoyed by lack of one.
I guess it does sting a bit more if it's following a face reveal but each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's harder to actually tell someone you don't fancy them. That's why so many people ghost. I've been ghosted that many times though, that I'd rather do the honest thing and tell someone. And I'd rather have someone tell me.
I guess that is becuase they are scared of offending do you think ?
I always send current/very recent face pic with my first message - that way people can make that judgment immediately before they respond to the first message
I think that makes sense ?
J xx
Yeah - not wanting to offend people, but the general consensus seems to be that people aren't that fussed. "
I think less about offending people - maybe wary that they will react badly or don't want to upset someone. Rejecting people - if they seem nice - isn't fun. I hate doing it. |
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