FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Feeling safe

Feeling safe

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

My question today is: Do you feel safe?

I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe?

Do you know what it means?

Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart.

The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I practice a combination of Shan Buddhism and Daoism and have done majority of my life

So yes I would say I am completely safe

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart.

The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward."

Especially recently, where our lives have been changed so much (maybe irrevocably for some).

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I practice a combination of Shan Buddhism and Daoism and have done majority of my life

So yes I would say I am completely safe "

Amazing. Love practices like that, which can really help

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hippy, always the tough questions!

I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better!

Have a good Saturday

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

Yes. But probably because I compartmentalize and don't consider the negative.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart.

The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward.

Especially recently, where our lives have been changed so much (maybe irrevocably for some).

"

Absolutely

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ighty_tightyMan  over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

Logically, I must feel safe as I don't feel unsafe.

I've had a few darker days in the last few years but at this point in time I'm far away from all that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Hippy, always the tough questions!

I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better!

Have a good Saturday "

This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Yes. But probably because I compartmentalize and don't consider the negative. "

I’m not sure about compartmentalisation. I was talking to someone this morning, about how he shoves things in boxes, but like I said, it will come back out of the box at some point?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I suspect I must do because I've never considered that I might not

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband. "

That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Logically, I must feel safe as I don't feel unsafe.

I've had a few darker days in the last few years but at this point in time I'm far away from all that."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I suspect I must do because I've never considered that I might not"

Interesting point, but I didn’t realise I felt unsafe, until I felt safe, and then I noticed, if that makes sense?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham


"Yes. But probably because I compartmentalize and don't consider the negative.

I’m not sure about compartmentalisation. I was talking to someone this morning, about how he shoves things in boxes, but like I said, it will come back out of the box at some point? "

I know, people say it's bad, hasn't failed me in 43 years though.

Different people cope in different ways.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Honestly, still feeling fragile with a divorce going on but I know I could still do it alone if I had to with such a supportive family. My kids are amazing. Untidy but amazing

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Yes. But probably because I compartmentalize and don't consider the negative.

I’m not sure about compartmentalisation. I was talking to someone this morning, about how he shoves things in boxes, but like I said, it will come back out of the box at some point?

I know, people say it's bad, hasn't failed me in 43 years though.

Different people cope in different ways. "

I know it can very effective for some

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Honestly, still feeling fragile with a divorce going on but I know I could still do it alone if I had to with such a supportive family. My kids are amazing. Untidy but amazing "

I hear you .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband.

That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?"

I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I feel very safe and this enables me to bask in my caretaker personality completely, you cannot give unless your cup is full x

In lock down it was the complete opposite and I had a lockdown breakdown. It took me a long time to find my equilibrium again

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ehindHerEyesCouple  over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"My question today is: Do you feel safe?

I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe?

Do you know what it means?

Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?"

The hardest lesson that I ever heard and took me a while to get onboard with it that you are the only person that will be with you for life.

It doesn’t mean we can’t look externally but we must be happy and secure in who we are first.

There is always a fine balancing act with looming for security from someone else and keeping it inside.

I know that with TG she will always allow me to have emotions and feeling. She has made me secure with sharing those with her. This is a different level to just being secure within yourself but that is where is has to start.

*Beard*

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband.

That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?

I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine "

That’s amazing . You’re awesome

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I feel very safe and this enables me to bask in my caretaker personality completely, you cannot give unless your cup is full x

In lock down it was the complete opposite and I had a lockdown breakdown. It took me a long time to find my equilibrium again "

I’m sorry to hear that , I’m glad you found it again.

You’re one of very few people who shows it imo (not that others aren’t, but you can’t necessarily see it)

I would have known you would say yes to this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iamondCougarWoman  over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart.

The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward."

Great word lady

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband.

That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?

I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine "

This is wonderful. So pleased you have found what sounds like a great new life.

I definitely relate to feeling the need to rediscovering yourself. I felt defined in my marriage and I didn't like who I became over the years. The lack of confidence and no feelings of self worth pretty much destroyed me.

I'm definitely a better version now of who I am. Still a work in progress though

PNG x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband.

That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?

I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine

That’s amazing . You’re awesome "

Thank you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My question today is: Do you feel safe?

I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe?

Do you know what it means?

Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?

The hardest lesson that I ever heard and took me a while to get onboard with it that you are the only person that will be with you for life.

It doesn’t mean we can’t look externally but we must be happy and secure in who we are first.

There is always a fine balancing act with looming for security from someone else and keeping it inside.

I know that with TG she will always allow me to have emotions and feeling. She has made me secure with sharing those with her. This is a different level to just being secure within yourself but that is where is has to start.

*Beard*"

Absolutely . I found that someone giving me that safety, and showing me what if feels like, allowed me to foster that within myself.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think ontological insecurity is very normal in this age. The foundations on which we've relied have been hollowed out or torn apart.

The solution for me is to start inward, remind myself of my own strength, and move outward.

Great word lady "

I thought that too

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iamondCougarWoman  over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Great topic Hippy

I’m sat here asking myself if I am but the answer appears to be yes …. Most of the time, except when I allow negativity to creep in. When I realise it’s in I firmly kick it out …. *boot*

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I honestly don’t know what it means.

I just do what I’ve always done through my teen/adult years. I bumble my way through day to day life, and solve the issues put in front of me that day.

I’m a simple person.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband.

That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?

I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm not sure. I've been on my own for 8 years. Practically,I've got that sorted. But me,I don't know who I am.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Great topic Hippy

I’m sat here asking myself if I am but the answer appears to be yes …. Most of the time, except when I allow negativity to creep in. When I realise it’s in I firmly kick it out …. *boot* "

Thank you .

It’s a tricky one, as I said, I wasn’t aware I wasn’t, until someone made me feel safe.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I honestly don’t know what it means.

I just do what I’ve always done through my teen/adult years. I bumble my way through day to day life, and solve the issues put in front of me that day.

I’m a simple person. "

I find it quite hard to describe, because it’s relatively new to me.

It’s the feeling of security, within yourself as a person, being safe in your existence as a person.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm not sure. I've been on my own for 8 years. Practically,I've got that sorted. But me,I don't know who I am."

Have you looked into re parenting?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Weed can give you a feeling of inner safety

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Weed can give you a feeling of inner safety "

Is that safety real though?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I suspect I must do because I've never considered that I might not

Interesting point, but I didn’t realise I felt unsafe, until I felt safe, and then I noticed, if that makes sense?"

Makes absolute sense.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *acey_RedWoman  over a year ago

Liverpool

I guess yes and no. I'm acutely aware that you never really know what is around the corner and that huge amounts of emotional pain can be sprung on you at a moments notice and at times from where you least expected it. However, overall I do have a sense that no matter what it is I can get through it and I will be okay again.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hippy, always the tough questions!

I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better!

Have a good Saturday

This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ?"

I guess for me it’s working with my therapist through trauma mostly. Learning to not internalise all the bad things that have happened to me and to trust myself again. Also, I write things down and always remember to only obsess over things that I can control, not things I can’t.

Also listening to people like you and not being so hard on myself

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I guess yes and no. I'm acutely aware that you never really know what is around the corner and that huge amounts of emotional pain can be sprung on you at a moments notice and at times from where you least expected it. However, overall I do have a sense that no matter what it is I can get through it and I will be okay again. "

That’s interesting, and I really hear that, I think I’m still in a similar place.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Hippy, always the tough questions!

I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better!

Have a good Saturday

This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ?

I guess for me it’s working with my therapist through trauma mostly. Learning to not internalise all the bad things that have happened to me and to trust myself again. Also, I write things down and always remember to only obsess over things that I can control, not things I can’t.

Also listening to people like you and not being so hard on myself "

I love this . I feel like a proud momma

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It varies and its an o going lesson

There are times I want physical pain or to hurt myself as can deal with physical better than emotional

Trying to read the signs better and change tactics or reach out if needs be

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hippy, always the tough questions!

I find safety within myself now which is so amazing as I used to rely on others for it. Still lots of growing to do but I’m getting better!

Have a good Saturday

This makes me so happy . I know you must have worked really hard for that. Any tips to share ?

I guess for me it’s working with my therapist through trauma mostly. Learning to not internalise all the bad things that have happened to me and to trust myself again. Also, I write things down and always remember to only obsess over things that I can control, not things I can’t.

Also listening to people like you and not being so hard on myself

I love this . I feel like a proud momma "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch

Yes I do. I’m a stubborn independent so normally deal with things myself, rather than bringing others into it.

I occasionally have wobbles but it will last a day or two most whilst I process it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *affron40Woman  over a year ago

manchester

I’m as safe as I can be. Everything I need comes from me. Things I desire come from those around me. Things still affect me but I’ll only take so much before I remove myself from the situation. I’ve worked too hard to ever go back there.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It varies and its an o going lesson

There are times I want physical pain or to hurt myself as can deal with physical better than emotional

Trying to read the signs better and change tactics or reach out if needs be "

Reaching out is good, if you can reach out safely.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Yes I do. I’m a stubborn independent so normally deal with things myself, rather than bringing others into it.

I occasionally have wobbles but it will last a day or two most whilst I process it "

But the ideal would be to have safety within oneself, so I don’t think that’s a bad thing, being independent?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m as safe as I can be. Everything I need comes from me. Things I desire come from those around me. Things still affect me but I’ll only take so much before I remove myself from the situation. I’ve worked too hard to ever go back there. "

Love this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *uriousscouserWoman  over a year ago

Wirral

Right now no I don't.

I'm going through an extremely vulnerable phase right now, feeling more than a little brittle.

I know it will pass and I'll recover my equilibrium, but it's horrid working my way through it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Right now no I don't.

I'm going through an extremely vulnerable phase right now, feeling more than a little brittle.

I know it will pass and I'll recover my equilibrium, but it's horrid working my way through it."

I’m sorry . Feeling vulnerable is horrible, is there anyone you have for support?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *uriousscouserWoman  over a year ago

Wirral


"Right now no I don't.

I'm going through an extremely vulnerable phase right now, feeling more than a little brittle.

I know it will pass and I'll recover my equilibrium, but it's horrid working my way through it.

I’m sorry . Feeling vulnerable is horrible, is there anyone you have for support? "

If it causes my OCD to flare I have a great counselor I can book some sessions with.

I think the loneliness and isolation of my current life is what's fuelling a lot of the insecurity.

I can take heart that I know it's a temporary thing; I won't always feel this way. I've felt differently in the past and will again in the future.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Right now no I don't.

I'm going through an extremely vulnerable phase right now, feeling more than a little brittle.

I know it will pass and I'll recover my equilibrium, but it's horrid working my way through it.

I’m sorry . Feeling vulnerable is horrible, is there anyone you have for support?

If it causes my OCD to flare I have a great counselor I can book some sessions with.

I think the loneliness and isolation of my current life is what's fuelling a lot of the insecurity.

I can take heart that I know it's a temporary thing; I won't always feel this way. I've felt differently in the past and will again in the future."

Yes, the isolation is so hard isn’t it. I hear that.

It sounds like you’re very aware, and like you’ll get there

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central


"I'm beginning to feel completely safe within myself, it's taken awhile I depended alot on my then husband.

That’s great. Do you know how you’ve done that?

I lost my identity, being a wife and a mum was all I knew and after 25 years of marriage and the kids starting to leave home I don't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I liked It was always about them, in some ways it made me feel devalued. I decided to leave my marriage and my home it was the most difficult decision I've ever made but 19 months on I'm finding myself, doing what i like and learning things about me I never thought I'd do. I'm currently in Turkey alone and feel so proud of myself for taking that step. We strive for a better life and I'm just learning mine "

You're inspirational!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ntrigued32Couple  over a year ago

Nottingham

Yes and no.

Life is so unpredictable that I am on guard. Like, we have to be prepared for the worst but appreciate the best now.

You know what I mean?!

Jo.Xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Yes and no.

Life is so unpredictable that I am on guard. Like, we have to be prepared for the worst but appreciate the best now.

You know what I mean?!

Jo.Xx "

I know what you mean xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I always feel as safe as houses.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I always feel as safe as houses.

"

That doesn’t surprise me Granny.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inkyInkedBiWoman  over a year ago

.

I stopped feeling safe when I lost my husband.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I stopped feeling safe when I lost my husband. "

I’m not surprised, that would rock most people. Can you cultivate some safety within yourself?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *MCMan  over a year ago

London/EA

I realised I don’t need anyone to help me feel happy or safe.. I noticed this when I focused on myself over the last few months. I now only associate with the few who reached out during this time, and unsurprisingly it’s a different friendship to my close friends before I withdrew myself.

Self progression is unreal though.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *heOriginalLoisWoman  over a year ago

London

I feel safe I guess, like others have said it isn't something I think about.

I was mugged in 2015 and ended up with a fractured eye socket. I was walking back to my office in broad daylight. It was at least a year before I would take the same route. Irrational probably but a reality at the time.

In the coming years I know my life will change dramatically to what I have known from the last 10 years and then I might not feel so safe for different reasons.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Yes. Always felt safe.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I realised I don’t need anyone to help me feel happy or safe.. I noticed this when I focused on myself over the last few months. I now only associate with the few who reached out during this time, and unsurprisingly it’s a different friendship to my close friends before I withdrew myself.

Self progression is unreal though."

That’s really good , to have that in yourself

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I feel safe I guess, like others have said it isn't something I think about.

I was mugged in 2015 and ended up with a fractured eye socket. I was walking back to my office in broad daylight. It was at least a year before I would take the same route. Irrational probably but a reality at the time.

In the coming years I know my life will change dramatically to what I have known from the last 10 years and then I might not feel so safe for different reasons."

I’m sorry , that must have been awful.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Yes. Always felt safe. "

That’s good, great to have that

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman  over a year ago

On a mooch


"Yes I do. I’m a stubborn independent so normally deal with things myself, rather than bringing others into it.

I occasionally have wobbles but it will last a day or two most whilst I process it

But the ideal would be to have safety within oneself, so I don’t think that’s a bad thing, being independent?"

It isn’t no, plus for me stops those I care about worrying about things they can’t help with, then in turn I don’t have to worry about them worrying if that makes sense.

So yes I’m safe within myself.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My question today is: Do you feel safe?

I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe?

Do you know what it means?

Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?"

I did feel safe, and very much depended on someone else for that so when it failed I was hopeless.

I've since learnt to feel safe with myself, now having someone else in my life is different, I don't need her ladyship to be whole, I want her because ... well, let's face it, why wouldn't I? She's bloody amazing.

Mr

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Safety is the warm embrace of a wanton vagina.

Yeah, I’m as safe as it gets thanks.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Yes I do. I’m a stubborn independent so normally deal with things myself, rather than bringing others into it.

I occasionally have wobbles but it will last a day or two most whilst I process it

But the ideal would be to have safety within oneself, so I don’t think that’s a bad thing, being independent?

It isn’t no, plus for me stops those I care about worrying about things they can’t help with, then in turn I don’t have to worry about them worrying if that makes sense.

So yes I’m safe within myself. "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My question today is: Do you feel safe?

I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe?

Do you know what it means?

Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?

I did feel safe, and very much depended on someone else for that so when it failed I was hopeless.

I've since learnt to feel safe with myself, now having someone else in my life is different, I don't need her ladyship to be whole, I want her because ... well, let's face it, why wouldn't I? She's bloody amazing.

Mr"

Oh

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Safety is the warm embrace of a wanton vagina.

Yeah, I’m as safe as it gets thanks."

Can always reply on you Sam

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By * la carteCouple  over a year ago

Dublin

Isn't it more about being and feeling independent and autonomous, emotionally, physically, financially?

I feel as "safe" as I'll ever be, I reckon. I have overcome a few obstacles in my life to get to this point.

I have my health, healthy children, a support network (family, partner, friends) and an income.

Hence I'm able to raise my children with love and support to give them the best start in life while putting a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Anything beyond that is a bonus and I'm hugely grateful every day in my life.

That doesn't mean I don't know it can be snapped away in a flash because frankly, the only guarantees in life are death and taxes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Isn't it more about being and feeling independent and autonomous, emotionally, physically, financially?

I feel as "safe" as I'll ever be, I reckon. I have overcome a few obstacles in my life to get to this point.

I have my health, healthy children, a support network (family, partner, friends) and an income.

Hence I'm able to raise my children with love and support to give them the best start in life while putting a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Anything beyond that is a bonus and I'm hugely grateful every day in my life.

That doesn't mean I don't know it can be snapped away in a flash because frankly, the only guarantees in life are death and taxes.

"

It’s about safety within yourself. So take away the money, people, work etc.

It’s the safety within you as a person.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My heads a bag of spanners but i now fear nothing having already lived my worst fear thats the one positive i take

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My question today is: Do you feel safe?

I don’t necessarily mean physically safe, although it’s a part of it, but more, do you feel emotionally safe?

Do you know what it means?

Can you foster a sense of safety within yourself, or do you depend on someone else for that?"

At the moment, my emotions are playing with me

I feel I should be grieving

Tears came quickly and went just as quick

I expected grief to follow

It hasn't made itself known yet

At least in the way I thought it might

It has been replaced by an underlying anxiety

It has been replaced by sporadic attacks of nervousness

I doubt these feelings are indefinite

I think they are waiting to switch

I am waiting for the drop

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No emotionally I am a mess this happy bubbly flirty person you see in front off you is a show to hide my real pain the ugly that no one see behind closed doors

They say the people hurting the most put on the biggest smiles for everyone

I think getting hurt again would be the end off me

I feel broken and feel no one could fix me

And I wouldn’t burden on eny one trying to

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm not feeling safe! Nora has it in for me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not safe

At all

Mentally

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *ellhungvweMan  over a year ago

Cheltenham

Awesome question.

I am naturally a bit of a loner and very happy in my own company and my perception of myself is that I am pretty resilient which I feel breeds a good sense of internal security.

I am optimistic about life but also know that it can be nasty, brutal and short and I feel I can generally handle the vicissitudes of life without letting it upset me too much either way.

If you want me to talk about my emotions, however, then that is a whole different story and I am not sure I would feel safe doing that so a psychologist would probably say I am bottling something up

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0937

0