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Does Swinging work long term
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
OP, you've asked a variation on this question several times recently. Maybe if you're concerned about it you should talk to your partner and also think about whether it is a good idea for you. |
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I think its a journey for everyone. Some once they have experienced what they wanted leave. Others who see this as a lifestyle stay and keep going. Depends what you are after/looking for out of it really. |
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There are a variety of possible outcomes.
It becomes a lifelong hobby, a lifestyle if you like and you continue until you no longer can.
You try it and one or both of you decides they don't want to continue after a period of time.
It shows up major flaws in your relationship and you break up.
One of you falls for a swinging partner and leaves.
Or probably the most common, you do it, find you quite like it but it's not hugely important so you just indulge every now and again.
I think I've said this before but if your relationship is not in the right place, if both of you don't understand that sex does not equal love or if one of you is insecure...don't do it. |
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"Ok in the interests of answering your questions more helpfully what are your actual concerns? "
Hi thanks for your feedback, once again very useful. We have a good relationship and that's why we concerned as whilst it might be a strength it's also precious and worth keeping safe. On the other hand we both very curious of lifestyle and perhaps ready for the change and curious also if it may ignite an interest for years to come, it's all a gamble! |
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Hi op
It's different for different couples.
It's just an occasional extra for us that we enjoy, not the be all and end all.. Why not give it a go, it's the only way you'll know if it's for you or not.
If it's not, you don't need to continue swinging. |
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"Not everyone keeps the same interests for life, or the same way of satisfying their needs.
You're individual OP, as we all are. Enjoy now and be happy "
I agree we are all individuals, which in my opinion can make swinging precarious as a couple. Personally I do think its playing with fire |
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"Ok in the interests of answering your questions more helpfully what are your actual concerns?
Hi thanks for your feedback, once again very useful. We have a good relationship and that's why we concerned as whilst it might be a strength it's also precious and worth keeping safe. On the other hand we both very curious of lifestyle and perhaps ready for the change and curious also if it may ignite an interest for years to come, it's all a gamble!"
What is it that you think might damage your relationship? If it's good and your communication is effective (nobodies is 100% effective there are always misunderstandings) you should be able to overcome any problems.
Would either of you find it a problem if your swinging career did last for many years?
Is there anything stopping you from opening a couples profile? You could set your message filters quite high and browse the site together talking about any possible concerns that came up.
Completely without prejudice does your wife know about your profile?
I don't know I just feel that one of both of you is so unsure of this that it's not a terribly good idea. |
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"Not everyone keeps the same interests for life, or the same way of satisfying their needs.
You're individual OP, as we all are. Enjoy now and be happy
I agree we are all individuals, which in my opinion can make swinging precarious as a couple. Personally I do think its playing with fire "
Swinging is never going to fix a bad relationship, sex never does. It sometimes makes one partner happier therefore easier to live with but it won't make problems to away.
A good relationship can be enhanced in some ways. It's like anything you enjoy doing together you can reminisce about the good stuff, laugh about the disasters and sympathise about the horrible stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are no guarantees in life, most monogamous relationships don't go the distance either
That's a good point. What's the divorce rate now?"
And what about all the ones who remain together in mutual contempt? |
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"There are no guarantees in life, most monogamous relationships don't go the distance either
That's a good point. What's the divorce rate now?
And what about all the ones who remain together in mutual contempt?"
Oh God! That would be our neighbours included in that statistic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are no guarantees in life, most monogamous relationships don't go the distance either
That's a good point. What's the divorce rate now?
And what about all the ones who remain together in mutual contempt?
Oh God! That would be our neighbours included in that statistic. "
There's more to a successful relationship than simply staying together in my book |
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"There are no guarantees in life, most monogamous relationships don't go the distance either
That's a good point. What's the divorce rate now?
And what about all the ones who remain together in mutual contempt?
Oh God! That would be our neighbours included in that statistic.
There's more to a successful relationship than simply staying together in my book"
I 100% agree. |
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We have been together for over 30 years and probably been on the scene for half of that time.
It works for us because this is kind of like an occasional treat to ourselves. We have seen so many couples dive headfirst into the lifestyle and they burn out very quickly.
Swinging won’t fix a broken relationship but if it’s strong to start with, it really is the icing on the cake x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been together for over 30 years and probably been on the scene for half of that time.
It works for us because this is kind of like an occasional treat to ourselves. We have seen so many couples dive headfirst into the lifestyle and they burn out very quickly.
Swinging won’t fix a broken relationship but if it’s strong to start with, it really is the icing on the cake x"
I agree with that. My late wife and I were swingers for 25 years and it definitely enhanced our relationship. We saw a couple of examples examples of people trying to save a failing relationship and they weren't together very long afterwards.
Most of that time was with one other couple who also had a strong relationship. |
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