FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How do you turn people down?
How do you turn people down?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do you turn people down here without pissing them off? I've had a few times on here where I've tried to v politely say I reckoned we just weren't right for each other because we seemed v different or were interested in v different things. On occasion, that didn't go down well at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ignore
Ignore and block
No thanks
No thanks and block
There is no compulsion to reply
No response is a no thank you
As long as you aren't rude or obnoxious in your reply, then I would argue any issue lies with the rejected party |
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By *B69Woman
over a year ago
Wiltshire |
If it’s from a well thought out msg then I always reply “sorry your not for me”.
If it’s a brief or boring “hi” message then I just delete.
it’s your profile run it how you want to, if their abusive report and block |
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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago
Usually South, Currently North |
It depends on the message
A polite one that’s taken effort I’ll reply saying no thanks, or that their profile isn’t for me.
Otherwise I just ignore. Not worth the abuse saying no brings it to do it anymore often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If its a well written message - i send a thanks but no thanks type reply.
If its daft i just ignore it/delete it.
If they're real asshats then a block but thats rare.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't much care if my reply (or lack of) might piss someone off. I don't go out of my way to do so, but I don't beat about the bush or walk on egg shells either.
If it's a decent message or they have a good profile I'll respond with a 'thanks, but not for me', otherwise I simply ignore them. |
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I always offer in my first message to leave them alone if they are not interested and then delete my message. It provides a positive response without them needing to say a word. The thinking is, if they aren't interested why bother to load their inbox with my unwanted message?
Most times it works ok. On rare occasions they have read and kept my message so I have politely asked if there is any interest.
The usual negative response is delete, sometimes it's a "no thanks" and very occasionally a slap in the face for having the audacity to contact them again.  The latter is the other side of the rude reply to a turn down.
So a small plea to all those 200+ messages a day folks. Free your inbox!! Delete messages from those you are not interested in.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Not everyone takes being turned down well OP, you're never going to please everyone so do what's best for you (bar insulting a person when you turn them down). I've had a myriad of responses, from a person saying I've humiliated them and getting a right strop on to another deleting their profile. People are human and delicate and handle things differently because of that. |
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It's usually fairly easy. If they read my profile and decide to get in touch they will already know I don't meet on a whim.
If they start talking about meeting within a handful of messages I'll remind them of what my profile says and tell them we aren't suited. |
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"Not everyone takes being turned down well OP, you're never going to please everyone so do what's best for you (bar insulting a person when you turn them down). I've had a myriad of responses, from a person saying I've humiliated them and getting a right strop on to another deleting their profile. People are human and delicate and handle things differently because of that."
I am sure you get loads of contacts so it is nice to see you understand there is a human at the other end.
I propose for the future on Fab the maxim.
"Don't want to meet; just delete"
The other side being :
"Deleted? Don't moan; leave them alone"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The majority I'm rude and just reply "read profiles".
If they reply I send this (doesn't matter what their name is, the point is I didn't read their profile either!!)
"Hi Gordon,
Sorry but you missed or ignored the age range on my profile.
I keep the text simple so men can see it but I guess it doesn't matter when they are messaging every woman online.
You seem lovely. Better luck next time.
Hope you find someone nice x " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just say
“Oi Fannybasher420, Noooooooooooooooo”
Or, “thanks for your message but I’m not meeting right now”
"
fannybasher420 lol sounds like my type of man lol mmmmmmm |
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The most just get deleted as just not worth the hassle, even then you get some comeback.
Others, I will say sorry not me, if looking for something specific, took the time to read profile, decent message, and wish them well.
If it’s someone I know, then I’ll be blunt and to the point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My standard response to someone who politely messages is "Thank you, but I'm not interested. Happy fabbing."
I don't give a reason why I'm not interested (eg location, smoker) because then they negotiate/argue about that point.
If I've talked to someone for a while and then it's just clear we are not suited - I say it's not going to work for me, sorry. And stick to that. Just really clear and straightforward. I feel like a bitch much of the time, but being blunt is better |
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No explanations are are warranted, so just ignore and/or block, potentially with a polite no thanks and good luck.
Blocking prevents future identical contact and wasting of time.
Report abusive messages. Life is too short to waste it on anything that's not productive or helpful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you turn people down here without pissing them off? I've had a few times on here where I've tried to v politely say I reckoned we just weren't right for each other because we seemed v different or were interested in v different things. On occasion, that didn't go down well at all."
instant block |
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"How do you turn people down here without pissing them off? I've had a few times on here where I've tried to v politely say I reckoned we just weren't right for each other because we seemed v different or were interested in v different things. On occasion, that didn't go down well at all."
Easy. Block them.  |
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