FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > That one nasty
That one nasty
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why does it always seem to be that one mean comment from someone, to be the one that lingers over and over in your head rather than the compliments?
That’s literally all it takes to ruin your day.
And also, why can’t people be nice? Like some can keep their nastiness to themselves rather than taking their time out of their day, to say it to your face. Hmmm
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does it always seem to be that one mean comment from someone, to be the one that lingers over and over in your head rather than the compliments?
That’s literally all it takes to ruin your day.
And also, why can’t people be nice? Like some can keep their nastiness to themselves rather than taking their time out of their day, to say it to your face. Hmmm
"
Let it go.....?if folks can't say something nice , then they shouldn't say it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why does it always seem to be that one mean comment from someone, to be the one that lingers over and over in your head rather than the compliments?
That’s literally all it takes to ruin your day.
And also, why can’t people be nice? Like some can keep their nastiness to themselves rather than taking their time out of their day, to say it to your face. Hmmm
Let it go.....?if folks can't say something nice , then they shouldn't say it"
That’s what I always thought ! X or got something not nice to say, they can keep it in their head surely |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Personally I'd rather people show who they are rather than hide behind a fake nice persona that way at least you don't waste anytime on them.
I learnt a long time ago on here not to let random strangers who I have no intention of ever having anything to do with comments annoy or upset me. It's just giving them exactly what they want when they know they have gotten to you.
I have no issue with those who voice their opinions tho as long as it doesn't end up in a throw digs at the other person way. People will always differ in how they see things . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Voicing an opinion is different than saying something mean, but yeah 
I get your point
Also does refraining from saying something nasty to somebody (even if you think), make you a fake person?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's just the way our brains function you can hear 100 compliments but only remember 1 negative.
Shows more about who they are rather than who you are. Rise above it lovely  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell Auntie Nora who it was I’ll kick their arse into next week 
Ignore them missy. 9 times out of 10 on here it’s pure jealousy. Chin up and boobs up! x"
Haha please use the heels u got in ur profile pic to kick their arse  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell Auntie Nora who it was I’ll kick their arse into next week
Ignore them missy. 9 times out of 10 on here it’s pure jealousy. Chin up and boobs up! x"
Concur with what Nora said entirely! I mean look at you, you’re absolutely gorgeous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People can be vicious on here.
Always remember that those who put you down are already way beneath you. It's them with insecurities and issues.
As others have said you look gorgeous and from what I've seen of you in the forums your personality matches, kind, caring, thoughtful, humourful and a good person.
Ignore the haters, hope you have a good day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell Auntie Nora who it was I’ll kick their arse into next week
Ignore them missy. 9 times out of 10 on here it’s pure jealousy. Chin up and boobs up! x
Concur with what Nora said entirely! I mean look at you, you’re absolutely gorgeous. "
I’m okay lovely, just an early thought on why some people , can’t just be nice people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trouble is, particularly on here, it’s so often not people being mean but simply having a different opinion that so many snowflakes can’t tolerate. Are you a snowflake ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trouble is, particularly on here, it’s so often not people being mean but simply having a different opinion that so many snowflakes can’t tolerate. Are you a snowflake ? "
Here comes the snowflake comments! Seriously! |
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"Trouble is, particularly on here, it’s so often not people being mean but simply having a different opinion that so many snowflakes can’t tolerate. Are you a snowflake ? "
That’s not what a snowflake is!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Trouble is, particularly on here, it’s so often not people being mean but simply having a different opinion that so many snowflakes can’t tolerate. Are you a snowflake ? "
Jeez, again. I’m not saying it if it was in real life, or this platform or another.
It was a NASTY personal statement and not an opinion. I can handle different views about stuff.(Unlike some who seem to be so set about certain things. It becomes pointless to even have a conversation. What is the contrary of a snowflake?) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell Auntie Nora who it was I’ll kick their arse into next week
Ignore them missy. 9 times out of 10 on here it’s pure jealousy. Chin up and boobs up! x
Concur with what Nora said entirely! I mean look at you, you’re absolutely gorgeous.
I’m okay lovely, just an early thought on why some people , can’t just be nice people "
Unfortunatley there will always be some rotten apples on here. Thankfully all the lovely fabbers on here out weigh those. Just try not to dwell on the mean comments from those sado's.
Hope your ok x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Trouble is, particularly on here, it’s so often not people being mean but simply having a different opinion that so many snowflakes can’t tolerate. Are you a snowflake ?
Here comes the snowflake comments! Seriously! "
Don’t get me started with the snowflake comment x
And not to toot my own horn, but I’m probably one of the strongest willed people I know x (and stubborn too  ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thing is people often post glib insincere opinions and are then surprised when people challenge them. Forums are often for debate not just oh my god you’re cute sort of stuff."
Hmmm …I’m not saying what the mean statement was but tell me, Byron
Do you think saying stuff like (I just made these up btw)
“You are fat “ or “you are ugly” or “you are disgusting”
Is it something a debate comment or something nasty ?
Very interested to have your opinion |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Quite often people say nasty (not talking about disagreeing) comments because they're going through things, hurt/lashing out/envious or are a bit immature and letting their chimp do the talking.
As to why it sticks? You're human. It might have touched upon a worry. Nasty comments do stick a bit more depending on frame of mind as well.
I hope you're able to drown out the nasty with the supportive comments people have left for you. |
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By *AABMan
over a year ago
Not far |
Whether real life or Fab-World, there simply is no need to ever be deliberately or carelessly nasty with people. It’s not a case of ‘just don’t say it’ but even thinking negative unpleasantness towards someone says something about you. This isn’t so called ‘wokery’ or ‘snowflake-ism’ it’s about being a decent person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whether real life or Fab-World, there simply is no need to ever be deliberately or carelessly nasty with people. It’s not a case of ‘just don’t say it’ but even thinking negative unpleasantness towards someone says something about you. This isn’t so called ‘wokery’ or ‘snowflake-ism’ it’s about being a decent person."
Thanks so much ! Exactly this x
Also Being intentionally unpleasant to someone, can impact the other person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does it always seem to be that one mean comment from someone, to be the one that lingers over and over in your head rather than the compliments?
That’s literally all it takes to ruin your day.
And also, why can’t people be nice? Like some can keep their nastiness to themselves rather than taking their time out of their day, to say it to your face. Hmmm
"
Ignore move on they are not worth the time more nice lady’s and gents on hear than ass hats I get them all the time just ignore  |
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"Why does it always seem to be that one mean comment from someone, to be the one that lingers over and over in your head rather than the compliments?
That’s literally all it takes to ruin your day.
And also, why can’t people be nice? Like some can keep their nastiness to themselves rather than taking their time out of their day, to say it to your face. Hmmm
"
I get what you mean. Mr works away alot, I live with my kids, but never see them as they are always in their rooms. I spoke to 3 people (adults) on Tuesday. I'd pulled up behind an unloading lorry, to drop house keys to someone who'd forgotton them. Leaving him more than enough room ect. The lorry driver came over to me, shouted and gave me a load of abuse for doing so. Saying I'd blocked him in, I'd parked illigally ect. There was no need the way he spoke to me! Karma got him, as I pulled away, 2 amberlances, on blues and twos, pulled up directly behind him. 4 paramedics jumped out with equipement ect. He was not going any where!
Although the other 2 people spoke to me very freindly and great, this one man is still really bugging me. Maybe he'd had a bad night. Or been rejected on Fabs? I belive in treating others, How I'd like to be treated. Keep your chin up. |
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By *yron69Man
over a year ago
Fareham |
"Thing is people often post glib insincere opinions and are then surprised when people challenge them. Forums are often for debate not just oh my god you’re cute sort of stuff.
Hmmm …I’m not saying what the mean statement was but tell me, Byron
Do you think saying stuff like (I just made these up btw)
“You are fat “ or “you are ugly” or “you are disgusting”
Is it something a debate comment or something nasty ?
Very interested to have your opinion "
This is new data. Of course insults are not acceptable and when in debate people on the back foot often get personal which I detest.
The thing with typed words is you have to clearly state your thoughts clearly .
On Xmas day I posted about youngsters dressing poorly for the cold days. I was roasted and by at least 2 individuals determined to denounce me as a nonce.
Tough but it didn’t hurt. One woman came to my defence and a few others changed the tone of the thread into a more understanding of what I was getting at. Mods finally acted.
Has it made me think about how I post things? Yes. But I can express things in my way. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Voicing an opinion is different than saying something mean, but yeah
I get your point
Also does refraining from saying something nasty to somebody (even if you think), make you a fake person?
"
Not refraining from saying something nasty no. But having a constant nice persona on here when in public when thinking the complete opposite and voicing it in private to others that's fake. Especially when some of them are the biggest stirrers on here and they are more than willing to pass on others personal information also they are they ones I am on about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thing is people often post glib insincere opinions and are then surprised when people challenge them. Forums are often for debate not just oh my god you’re cute sort of stuff.
Hmmm …I’m not saying what the mean statement was but tell me, Byron
Do you think saying stuff like (I just made these up btw)
“You are fat “ or “you are ugly” or “you are disgusting”
Is it something a debate comment or something nasty ?
Very interested to have your opinion
This is new data. Of course insults are not acceptable and when in debate people on the back foot often get personal which I detest.
The thing with typed words is you have to clearly state your thoughts clearly .
On Xmas day I posted about youngsters dressing poorly for the cold days. I was roasted and by at least 2 individuals determined to denounce me as a nonce.
Tough but it didn’t hurt. One woman came to my defence and a few others changed the tone of the thread into a more understanding of what I was getting at. Mods finally acted.
Has it made me think about how I post things? Yes. But I can express things in my way."
That’s what I mean, insults shouldn’t be acceptable. Especially when they just come for you for no reason.
Being mean for no reason other than being mean.
That’s the difference |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Insults in the heat of debate I can understand. I'd prefer if they didn't happen but emotions and egos often take over and it is a release as much as it is a defensive thing.
However intentional and direct insults with no other reason that to actually cause emotional pain imi can't tolerate at all.
How we say things is important, the context and intent with just a bit more effort of being thoughtful of what we are saying can change an insult in to an observation or an understandable reason. It is often why I often end up taking 100 words to say something that only needed 5 words to say. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Voicing an opinion is different than saying something mean, but yeah
I get your point
Also does refraining from saying something nasty to somebody (even if you think), make you a fake person?
Not refraining from saying something nasty no. But having a constant nice persona on here when in public when thinking the complete opposite and voicing it in private to others that's fake. Especially when some of them are the biggest stirrers on here and they are more than willing to pass on others personal information also they are they ones I am on about."
Oh yeah I agree, I mean pretending to be nice and then slagging them off in the back, is awful too. I don’t like that sort of behaviour either
Usually if I don’t particularly like someone, I tend to just ignore them |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Voicing an opinion is different than saying something mean, but yeah
I get your point
Also does refraining from saying something nasty to somebody (even if you think), make you a fake person?
Not refraining from saying something nasty no. But having a constant nice persona on here when in public when thinking the complete opposite and voicing it in private to others that's fake. Especially when some of them are the biggest stirrers on here and they are more than willing to pass on others personal information also they are they ones I am on about."
I think in some of those cases it can be more of a vent of frustration in private. I know I've said some things that are quite insulting in private as a release of emotional frustration that I'd never generally say to somebody because I'd never intentionally want to insult them with malice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear it, Kylie  I must admit I was dwelling on comments here as well. It's hard to get them out of your head. But they don't know you, the real you, and they never will. So many people here have lovely things to say about you. Hope you're doing well after your op and feeling "perky"! |
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"Why does it always seem to be that one mean comment from someone, to be the one that lingers over and over in your head rather than the compliments?
That’s literally all it takes to ruin your day.
And also, why can’t people be nice? Like some can keep their nastiness to themselves rather than taking their time out of their day, to say it to your face. Hmmm
"
People individually are beautiful and I love them.
People en masse and especially online can be such utter fuckwits.
It's easy to say don't let the insults bother you, it's about them not you etc. It's harder to put into practice.
For me I tend to hold on to insults that deal with an area of insecurity, in the same way I find it easier to accept compliments that fit with my own perceived strengths.
Someone calling me fat as an insult, for example, will always make me laugh. May as well insult water by calling it wet; it's a statement of the blindingly obvious and I don't carry that insult with me.
I hope you can draw strength from all the support on here and let go of the nastiness. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear it, Kylie I must admit I was dwelling on comments here as well. It's hard to get them out of your head. But they don't know you, the real you, and they never will. So many people here have lovely things to say about you. Hope you're doing well after your op and feeling "perky"! "
Thanks lovely! X I got a bit down because of it but yeah I’ll be fine x
I am not used to being insulted at all, so I guess when it happens (and they hit where it hurts me) it sucks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's always one who has to hit you where it hurts, believe me I've had it myself and it's very upsetting. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, please don't let it get you. You have to try and develop a thick skin on here and ignore them. They're not worth you worrying about it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s the classic “If you’ve nothing nice to say don’t say anything” I think it’s been lost to some people and I feel sorry for them in a way. Imagine being that bitter |
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Rise above it. Don't let some random who knows fuck all about you dampen your day (unless ofcourse it was someone who knows you well)
I couldn't give a rats arse what a stranger says to me, they don't know me and probably never will. |
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We always take on the negatives/nasty things live in our head but rarely give any positives we hear a moment of our time
I know it's easier said than done but try and forget about it, it isn't worth another moment of your time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s the classic “If you’ve nothing nice to say don’t say anything” I think it’s been lost to some people and I feel sorry for them in a way. Imagine being that bitter "
Exactly that. Like going out of your way to be that bitter! never ceases to amaze me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know it's easier said than done to say try and forget about it.
But know, there's so many people that have nice thoughts and comments about you.
You're loved, sassy, kind and beautiful inside and out.
Focus on the loveliness about you. Don't let the fuckers win, I can throw some celery at them if you like.
Chin up chick xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know it's easier said than done to say try and forget about it.
But know, there's so many people that have nice thoughts and comments about you.
You're loved, sassy, kind and beautiful inside and out.
Focus on the loveliness about you. Don't let the fuckers win, I can throw some celery at them if you like.
Chin up chick xx"
Lol at the celery !!!!! Haha I’ll throw some coriander cos I freaking hate that stuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's easier said than done to say try and forget about it.
But know, there's so many people that have nice thoughts and comments about you.
You're loved, sassy, kind and beautiful inside and out.
Focus on the loveliness about you. Don't let the fuckers win, I can throw some celery at them if you like.
Chin up chick xx
Lol at the celery !!!!! Haha I’ll throw some coriander cos I freaking hate that stuff "
Ugh yeh that can go too and lemon grass  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I think it's the mind warning you not to do it again.
If you look at it that way and don't brood too much you can use ot positively.
"
Not to do what again, sorry? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had my first abusive msg (on this profile) just last week
The guy was being pretty distateful saying he wants to "breed" me and after 3 more msgs from him when i showed i wasnt interested in the slightest, he decided to call me a "silly skinny little time waster" and i "shouldnt be on the site so do one" then blocked me
It doesnt bother me when i get these sorts of messages but its always amusing knowing there are men out there who act like children when they dont get what they want |
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"Trouble is, particularly on here, it’s so often not people being mean but simply having a different opinion that so many snowflakes can’t tolerate. Are you a snowflake ? Gammon is the opposite of snowflake
Jeez, again. I’m not saying it if it was in real life, or this platform or another.
It was a NASTY personal statement and not an opinion. I can handle different views about stuff.(Unlike some who seem to be so set about certain things. It becomes pointless to even have a conversation. What is the contrary of a snowflake?)"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear it, Kylie I must admit I was dwelling on comments here as well. It's hard to get them out of your head. But they don't know you, the real you, and they never will. So many people here have lovely things to say about you. Hope you're doing well after your op and feeling "perky"!
Thanks lovely! X I got a bit down because of it but yeah I’ll be fine x
I am not used to being insulted at all, so I guess when it happens (and they hit where it hurts me) it sucks x "
It does suck. Big time. Hope you feel less down today and focus on all the new lingerie! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear it, Kylie I must admit I was dwelling on comments here as well. It's hard to get them out of your head. But they don't know you, the real you, and they never will. So many people here have lovely things to say about you. Hope you're doing well after your op and feeling "perky"!
Thanks lovely! X I got a bit down because of it but yeah I’ll be fine x
I am not used to being insulted at all, so I guess when it happens (and they hit where it hurts me) it sucks x
It does suck. Big time. Hope you feel less down today and focus on all the new lingerie! X"
Ha im putting together a lingerie wish list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear it, Kylie I must admit I was dwelling on comments here as well. It's hard to get them out of your head. But they don't know you, the real you, and they never will. So many people here have lovely things to say about you. Hope you're doing well after your op and feeling "perky"!
Thanks lovely! X I got a bit down because of it but yeah I’ll be fine x
I am not used to being insulted at all, so I guess when it happens (and they hit where it hurts me) it sucks x
It does suck. Big time. Hope you feel less down today and focus on all the new lingerie! X
Ha im putting together a lingerie wish list "
that cheers me up too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's easier said than done to say try and forget about it.
But know, there's so many people that have nice thoughts and comments about you.
You're loved, sassy, kind and beautiful inside and out.
Focus on the loveliness about you. Don't let the fuckers win, I can throw some celery at them if you like.
Chin up chick xx
Lol at the celery !!!!! Haha I’ll throw some coriander cos I freaking hate that stuff
Ugh yeh that can go too and lemon grass "
LOVE coriander and celery and lemongrass |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hope you are ok gorgeous
It's easy for ppl to say ignore it or don't take any notice but sometimes words can hurt more than a punch or kick in the stomach and you can't ignore those.
X |
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