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Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen
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Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.
Thinking back to my teens and twenties, a lot of girls around my area - on the edge of friendship groups and so on - did tend to date guys that treated them pretty badly. In many cases it didn’t need well for them or their / Children’s lives unfortunately.
How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?
Good morning 
M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.
Thinking back to my teens and twenties, a lot of girls around my area - on the edge of friendship groups and so on - did tend to date guys that treated them pretty badly. In many cases it didn’t need well for them or their / Children’s lives unfortunately.
How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?
Good morning
M "
Women love a bad boy.. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Some women *cough Kylie cough* do have a soft spot for the eternal fuck/bad boy.
I don't understand why though. And I can't say I'm interested in it in the slightest. I'd much rather spend time with someone who is genuinely nice, without a hot/cold approach and I know exactly what's going on. I'm too much of an overthinker to enjoy headfucks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t say so at all
Would bad boy thing is bs
I know some off the basest men on the planet
And can garter you if you didn’t know who the were you wouldn’t believe
Take
rich franklin For example high school math teacher
Completely animal in the cage
carlos condit Aka natural born killer
Softly spoken but lives up to that name
|
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A lot of replies seem to follow the lines “not into that”
Experience has taught me that what someone says and what someone does are very different
In my experience, the majority of women absolutely fall for the treat them mean keep them keen attitude because it says a lot of positive things about the man in questions social standing and confidence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of replies seem to follow the lines “not into that”
Experience has taught me that what someone says and what someone does are very different
In my experience, the majority of women absolutely fall for the treat them mean keep them keen attitude because it says a lot of positive things about the man in questions social standing and confidence "
As long as it's confidence and not arrogance. Many people confuse the two. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s all about the right mix.
I’ll tell her she’s beautiful but then push her in a nettle bush.
"
Got to keep them on their toes, can't have them knowing what you'll do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember a lass I was very keen on who said she didn’t date “good guys”… I was one of the “good guys”… yup she did “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”… perversely it does work… but it don’t mean it’s right! Then again guys do it too… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of replies seem to follow the lines “not into that”
Experience has taught me that what someone says and what someone does are very different
In my experience, the majority of women absolutely fall for the treat them mean keep them keen attitude because it says a lot of positive things about the man in questions social standing and confidence
As long as it's confidence and not arrogance. Many people confuse the two."
A confident guy is hot!!
A cocky arrogant twat is not. |
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By *rReyMan
over a year ago
Fleet |
"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas"
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement  ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over. |
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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago
south west |
I’ve been accused of being just too nice sometimes. I’ve thought about trying to be a bit meaner, but then decided, nope I like being a nice guy. I don’t like hurting people so why give myself the perceived guilt? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s getting the balance right. If a man treats me right in life, he can be very mean in the bedroom . This is the kind of bad boy for me.
I don’t have anything to do with men that play games, or who are unkind, I like authentic, confident people. |
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I genuinely have no interest in men that want to play games.
It’s possible to be nice as well as confident. Lots of women have very poor boundaries and accept poor behaviour.
I have no time for bullshit and will cut anyone off who tries it. |
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I don’t enjoy men who play games. I don’t have the confidence for it.
My best mate, who is stunning and knows that if current guy gets bored she could have a new one in the day, does because she also plays that. |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over. "
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess "
This to a point, but I would say that most are looking for a Queen, (day-to-day) rather than a princess ..and one who is also a enchantress at night - I use this concept rather than the usual derogatory terms that are typically wheeled out on occasions such as this... |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess "
Yes . This exactly |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
This to a point, but I would say that most are looking for a Queen, (day-to-day) rather than a princess ..and one who is also a enchantress at night - I use this concept rather than the usual derogatory terms that are typically wheeled out on occasions such as this..."
I agree some are looking for one queen. Some are also wanting to have lots of fun with a variety of women and treat them as they are all special (hence princess label) so that none of their partners feel like just a number, they are all equally valued |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
This to a point, but I would say that most are looking for a Queen, (day-to-day) rather than a princess ..and one who is also a enchantress at night - I use this concept rather than the usual derogatory terms that are typically wheeled out on occasions such as this...
I agree some are looking for one queen. Some are also wanting to have lots of fun with a variety of women and treat them as they are all special (hence princess label) so that none of their partners feel like just a number, they are all equally valued"
The notion of 'princess' just reads 'sugar baby' to me. But I take your point. |
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There's one section of the population that like to abide by the "treat them mean to keep then keen" motto. Another section that doesn't. I belong to the section that doesn't.
If you want to be treatedbor treat people like shit go right ahead though. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Part of it is physical attraction. Those that we (all of us) find physically attractive are given a bit more allowance to get away with some shit that somebody we find less attractive would get halted before they even thought of doing it.
There are limits of course, and it differs for each person. Different levels of attraction and different levels of disrespect/treat em mean.
Esentially we put up with certain things, or overlook them if it involves something we want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No truth in it what so ever I don't think.
What about the women that sometimes want a "Bad Boy/Man" to also use for their own pleasure as and when they want it?
Who can then happily switch to a "nice" guy when that's the mood that takes them at that time?
Life would be very boring if we didn't all have an experience of the two very different versions at some point.
Women can play the men just as well as they do to us sometimes.
All the labels though can firmly stay at the door, I wouldn't want to be treated like someone's Queen or Princess, Cheeky Bitch works better for me  |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess "
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess "
This! I was trying to think how to word it. I know exactly what you mean. There’s a fine line |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess "
The key here is communication.
However, when you know, you know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.
Thinking back to my teens and twenties, a lot of girls around my area - on the edge of friendship groups and so on - did tend to date guys that treated them pretty badly. In many cases it didn’t need well for them or their / Children’s lives unfortunately.
How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?
Good morning
M
Women love a bad boy.. "
Sadly… it’s that challenge that we get from somebody we think we can change and make better and make him commit to us.
Its all BS in the end, but it freaking works, somehow. At least for me… |
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I don't want a project. If he isn't fully formed emotionally I'm not finishing the work his parents should have done.
"Bad boys" are usually just "little boys" on the inside. I want an equal not another child. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't want a project. If he isn't fully formed emotionally I'm not finishing the work his parents should have done.
"Bad boys" are usually just "little boys" on the inside. I want an equal not another child."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just read a Reddit price about women binning guys that were ‘too nice’. Made me think of the old treat them mean keep them keen saying.
Thinking back to my teens and twenties, a lot of girls around my area - on the edge of friendship groups and so on - did tend to date guys that treated them pretty badly. In many cases it didn’t need well for them or their / Children’s lives unfortunately.
How much truth is there to the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen adage?
Good morning
M
Women love a bad boy..
Sadly… it’s that challenge that we get from somebody we think we can change and make better and make him commit to us.
Its all BS in the end, but it freaking works, somehow. At least for me… "
You shouldn't be looking to change anyone though, accept them how they are or move on surely |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
Morning all, yeah there is deffo truth to the saying unfortunately. I used to be this called 'nice guy' oh he's too nice, he's a good boy like wtf? Haha all that time thought was being a gentleman but turns out was just a 'Simp'.
Stopped being so tolerant, gained some self respect & not too lovey dovey & guess what table started to turn.
The less attention I gave the more the girls I liked actually started showing interest. Humans are complicated that's for sure  |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
This to a point, but I would say that most are looking for a Queen, (day-to-day) rather than a princess ..and one who is also a enchantress at night - I use this concept rather than the usual derogatory terms that are typically wheeled out on occasions such as this...
I agree some are looking for one queen. Some are also wanting to have lots of fun with a variety of women and treat them as they are all special (hence princess label) so that none of their partners feel like just a number, they are all equally valued
The notion of 'princess' just reads 'sugar baby' to me. But I take your point. "
Thats the wonder of labels, it means something different to many people |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess
The key here is communication.
However, when you know, you know. "
Totally, communication is key. Unfortunately for some it won’t make a difference |
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"Morning all, yeah there is deffo truth to the saying unfortunately. I used to be this called 'nice guy' oh he's too nice, he's a good boy like wtf? Haha all that time thought was being a gentleman but turns out was just a 'Simp'.
Stopped being so tolerant, gained some self respect & not too lovey dovey & guess what table started to turn.
The less attention I gave the more the girls I liked actually started showing interest. Humans are complicated that's for sure "
That's because the type of woman you're attracted to thrive on that sort of treatment. It genuinely is a self fulfilling prophecy.
If a guy pays me little or no attention of does that thing of waiting a set number of days between contact I just walk. I know it makes some women keener because they see it as some sort of challenge to gain his attention. Nah, sod that, I've got a life to live and things to do.
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess "
That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different |
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I see it a lot with people trying to justify shitty behaviour and it baffles me.
It’s not for me. Be my equal or bugger off. First sign of twatty behaviour and I’m off. Too old for that nonsense. I appreciate kindness and respect. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess
That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different "
I notice these yes to anything men hovering around also these guys who get their date a drink and checking every detail like what tonic, how much ice etc , trying so hard to be nice but coming across all wet and needy. That must be so irritating |
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"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess
That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different
I notice these yes to anything men hovering around also these guys who get their date a drink and checking every detail like what tonic, how much ice etc , trying so hard to be nice but coming across all wet and needy. That must be so irritating "
I quite like it when he asks me what I'd like to drink, nothing worse if he gets the wrong tonic and misses the ice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like a bad boy now and then m
But to be far the ones I seen been lovely in and out of the bedroom one as it's no games and they not up they own bottoms lol I fine but respect is a big one for me and got to say I meet up with Eastern Europe men end up friends with benefits my good they bad boys but look after u in a Beautiful way and have had some lovely English men to m |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Life’s far to short to play games, be open and honest and if they aren’t attracted to you for you then just move on.
Sooner or later someone will be interested in you for you I’d say |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I've no interest in people who have the treat them mean attitude.But I also have no interest in guys who are too nice and won't speak up if something is annoying them or thinks all women are delicate little things that can do no wrong,that's complete bullshite as well.
I like men who are confident enough in themselves that they can speak up when they want to but aren't arrogant or degrading to others. One who won't just agree with me all the time but who will say what he thinks even if he thinks I'm wrong about something. A guy who will open a door for me and spank my ass as I walk past. Just someone I get along with and we can have a laugh with each other and know there are no games being played either. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I only date and meet nice guys
Bad boys are far too much Drama Llamas
I think there's a balance to be had, no woman should be treated badly (unless by prior arrangement ) but likewise the man shouldn't be some push over.
Nice guys aren't push overs, they are honest respectful men who are able to have many sexual playmates and still treat each one equally like a princess
Agree they aren’t, but nice guys can also slip into the ‘yes’ to anything men, which isn’t attractive and a bit annoying, no one wants a sheep.
Likewise not every lass wishes to be a princess
That is very true and "pushover" is sometimes also unfortunately paired with the "niceguy" label when they are quite different
I notice these yes to anything men hovering around also these guys who get their date a drink and checking every detail like what tonic, how much ice etc , trying so hard to be nice but coming across all wet and needy. That must be so irritating
I quite like it when he asks me what I'd like to drink, nothing worse if he gets the wrong tonic and misses the ice "
That’s because you’re bossy |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Depends what you mean by nice.
I’m a bit odd in that I don’t like it when men are too needy, clingy, lovey dovey. I like men who are a bit complicated, but not too complicated. I like to know where I stand, but I don’t want to be smothered.
Being overly keen puts me right off. I like a bit of coolness. But still knowing they are interested and want me.
Nice guys tend to struggle with this. They go overboard. And whilst that is perfect for a lot of women, it’s not for me.
But then I don’t like the treat them mean types either. They don’t get far with me because I push back.
I guess I’m somewhere in the middle  |
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"Depends what you mean by nice.
I’m a bit odd in that I don’t like it when men are too needy, clingy, lovey dovey. I like men who are a bit complicated, but not too complicated. I like to know where I stand, but I don’t want to be smothered.
Being overly keen puts me right off. I like a bit of coolness. But still knowing they are interested and want me.
Nice guys tend to struggle with this. They go overboard. And whilst that is perfect for a lot of women, it’s not for me.
But then I don’t like the treat them mean types either. They don’t get far with me because I push back.
I guess I’m somewhere in the middle "
Most are, I suspect, but who we are and what we like doesn't always dawn fully on us, until later on in life.
This is also another good example of why not everyone is for everyone.
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Unfortunately I'm one of the too nice guys, I refuse to change though and I'm also very physically demanding and overly affectionate in a relationship which is why I won't get into a relationship again because it's not appreciated |
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In the psychological research that has looked at this it has been found that treating them mean increases levels of wanting but decreases ratings of liking. It was concluded that it’s a risky strategy and when used with a person who has no prior investment, will totally put them off
My partner has always been nice, keen, and consistent. It has been less of a rollercoaster and on occasion I’ve noticed
less of the ‘highs’ that I’ve had with other guys but ultimately I value feeling secure with him |
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Treat em mean, keep em keen.
Hmmmm.
The ole push you pull you bollocks. I'll tell you who it attracts, who it works on. Those who've had childhoods containing emotional turmoil and confusion and falling back into familiar territory subconsciously.
From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play. |
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"Treat em mean, keep em keen.
Hmmmm.
The ole push you pull you bollocks. I'll tell you who it attracts, who it works on. Those who've had childhoods containing emotional turmoil and confusion and falling back into familiar territory subconsciously.
From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."
So true. Turns me right off x |
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"Treat em mean, keep em keen.
Hmmmm.
The ole push you pull you bollocks. I'll tell you who it attracts, who it works on. Those who've had childhoods containing emotional turmoil and confusion and falling back into familiar territory subconsciously.
From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."
Yep! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treat em mean, keep em keen.
Hmmmm.
The ole push you pull you bollocks. I'll tell you who it attracts, who it works on. Those who've had childhoods containing emotional turmoil and confusion and falling back into familiar territory subconsciously.
From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."
 true yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treat em mean, keep em keen.
Hmmmm.
The ole push you pull you bollocks. I'll tell you who it attracts, who it works on. Those who've had childhoods containing emotional turmoil and confusion and falling back into familiar territory subconsciously.
From the "mean" side, I think it's a predatory evil game to play."
I feel seen. Wow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like confident people who know what they want, but are respectful and kind... I find 'nice' is generally cloying and expects something from me that i can't give |
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» Add a new message to this topic
exactly!
