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Joke

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Come now peeps….let’s have some of those bad jokes, naughty jokes or any sad joke you can bring to the table….

I’ll go first….what’s the difference between jam and marmalade???

You don’t marmalade your Willy up a bum

Bad I know so come on now, give me some examples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop from a gypsy, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust line forty-four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in moments they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!" Again, there's a bright flash... and his legs fall off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Susie is a prostitute who doesn't want her gran to know.

One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.

The gran walks past & sees her.

Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue.

When the Police get to gran, they're surprised & ask her 'How, do u do it at your age?'

She replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin & suck 'em until they're dry.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg

Tie one shoe

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

My penis was once in the Guinness book of records…….

Until the librarian told me to take it out

Beard

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft?

Chewing gum ….. get your minds out the gutter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a pound ££

So I went up to him and gave him a pound. He happily pocketed the coin and said “you see that white cat over there, how many teeth does it have?”

So I said “ I don’t know….”

He said “ how many hairs does it have?”

I again replied saying I didn’t know.

He then said to me “ You see that black rooster over there, how many legs does it have?”

So I promptly said 2.

So the homeless man said “how come you know nothing about white pussy and so much about black cock?”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I saw a homeless guy telling people dirty jokes for a pound ££

So I went up to him and gave him a pound. He happily pocketed the coin and said “you see that white cat over there, how many teeth does it have?”

So I said “ I don’t know….”

He said “ how many hairs does it have?”

I again replied saying I didn’t know.

He then said to me “ You see that black rooster over there, how many legs does it have?”

So I promptly said 2.

So the homeless man said “how come you know nothing about white pussy and so much about black cock?”

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do elephants have big ears?

Because noddy won't pay the ransom

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Epic peeps….loving these and sneakily stealing some too

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?

Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.

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By *ussle SproutMan over a year ago

the middle

Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?

Because they might peel!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

Someone asked the other day how you spell “scrotum”?

I replied ”you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue”

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?

Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.

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By *otwifeHusbandCouple over a year ago

Dorset

2 blokes got caught stealing , one had fireworks and the other had battery’s

They both went to court and the judge let one go and charged the other

Hotwife

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"2 blokes got caught stealing , one had fireworks and the other had battery’s

They both went to court and the judge let one go and charged the other

Hotwife "

Bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got mugged by 6 dwarfs today not happy

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina?

Never mind. You’ll never get it!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

George and Harry were getting really testie with each other one day arguing about which one of them their mutual friend Richard would stand up for if they started getting knocked around by the ferocious Miss Vagina Bottom, an attractive but all too mysterious character that they desperately wanted to get to know but were just a little bit afraid of.

Sadly, they were both disappointed to learn that Richard wasn't going to stand up for either of them because Miss Vagina Bottom had heard their dispute and was of the opinion that you should never let a dick come between you.

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is a woman like a tornado?

When she comes, she comes wet and wild. When she goes, she takes your house, car.

Badomtishhhh!!!?!!!¡

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I became hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice...

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By *i_guy_sloughMan over a year ago

Langley

Einstein, Newton and Pascal were playing a game of hide and seek, it was Einstein’s turn to be the seeker so he turned and started counting 1… 2… 3… Pascal immediately ran off to hide but Newton just stood there, from his pocket he pulled out a piece of chalk and drew a square around his feet. 98… 99… 100! Einstein turns around and declares ‘Newton, I have found you!!’ Newton looks at Einstein and replies ‘No my friend, you have found one Newton per square metre, you have found Pascal!’

Sorry geek joke

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By *ony tunnelMan over a year ago

birkenhead

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me".The girl said no and the guy lived happily ever after.He rode motorbikes,went fishing and hunting,played golf,drank beer and scotch,had tons of money in the bank.He left the toilet seat up,scratched his bollocks and farted whenever he wanted. THE END

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you stab a circus to death? Aim for the juggler.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You should have seen the look on my face when I realised I was having a stroke.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This morning I put on a brand new suit and it cured my dizzy spells.

All dressed up and no vertigo.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago