FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Running it up the flagpole
Running it up the flagpole
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"I can’t stand corporate speak. I’d not last a day if I were employed in that kind of environment. Bullshit truly baffles.
"
Oh, it truly drives me nuts. I'm a say what you mean kind if guy. An analogue man, trapped in a digital world! |
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"I don't even know what that means. Is it an alternative way of saying I'll have to ask the people who make decisions? "
It's supposed to be, passing an idea out for consideration and then gaining peoples views  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t stand it or the snowflake friendly crap we have to put out these days - spade is a spade say it how it is ffs people actually appreciate ot a lot more in the end |
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"Why not think outside the box and see the innuendo in every phrase. That way you can be entertained and have a little chuckle rather than raising your blood pressure every time you hear it "
Ha! I hadn't thought of that. That could make me chuckle. A fab secret meaning. Well done that man! |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
I have a manager who always uses the phrase "talk to it" when refering to an issue that has come up.
I absolutely detest "playing the game". It's not a fekin sport it's about the concerns of individual people.
I need an emoji that demonstrates my anger and disgust at these soundbites.  |
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"I have a manager who always uses the phrase "talk to it" when refering to an issue that has come up.
I absolutely detest "playing the game". It's not a fekin sport it's about the concerns of individual people.
I need an emoji that demonstrates my anger and disgust at these soundbites. "
I just find the desire to drink, listening to this tosh, is hard to resist  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a manager who always uses the phrase "talk to it" when refering to an issue that has come up.
I absolutely detest "playing the game". It's not a fekin sport it's about the concerns of individual people.
I need an emoji that demonstrates my anger and disgust at these soundbites. "
That’s the one you need. Let’s touch base and I’ll run the technique up the flagpole.  |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I have a manager who always uses the phrase "talk to it" when refering to an issue that has come up.
I absolutely detest "playing the game". It's not a fekin sport it's about the concerns of individual people.
I need an emoji that demonstrates my anger and disgust at these soundbites.
That’s the one you need. Let’s touch base and I’ll run the technique up the flagpole. "
110%, but can we circle back as that is quite a paradigm shift? |
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"Oh and if someone sends me an saying they are going to reach out to me. I get all excited thinking I might get a reach around "
Another classic from the Grade A bullshit pile. That used to mean a fight when I was a nipper (realising I'm beginning to sound like a grumpy old man) |
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"Oh and if someone sends me an saying they are going to reach out to me. I get all excited thinking I might get a reach around
Another classic from the Grade A bullshit pile. That used to mean a fight when I was a nipper (realising I'm beginning to sound like a grumpy old man) "
I feel your pain. (another favourite) |
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"Oh and if someone sends me an saying they are going to reach out to me. I get all excited thinking I might get a reach around
Another classic from the Grade A bullshit pile. That used to mean a fight when I was a nipper (realising I'm beginning to sound like a grumpy old man)
I feel your pain. (another favourite)"
I bet they don't when I'm listening to their twaddle  |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!"
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases |
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I love corporate language. I join in and make new ones up and then pmsl in private and wonder how many they will adopt in the future. It’s a great game.
Of course making bingo boards with corporate speak is also good especially in zoom meetings
Beard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having spent the day listening to bullshit management speak like this, does anyone actually enjoy this kind of phrasing, or do you detest it like me?"
Sorry, I'm a bit busy right now. Let's touch base later on and decide on a plan of action to get all our ducks in a row  |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases "
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling |
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Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious. |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling "
I blame The Apprentice. The whole programme is littered with all this kind of bollocks x |
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious."
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling "
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.  |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar. "
Davies, you're not 'on message' (which particular bloody message is that?) |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar. "
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)  |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door) "
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious.
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing "
What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying... |
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious.
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing
What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying..."
I think we used to call it a suggestion box.... but I could be wrong |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious.
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing
What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying..."
You are not trying hard enough to square the circle. |
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"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious.
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing
What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying...
You are not trying hard enough to square the circle. "
Give me some crayons, I'll get drawing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious.
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing
What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying...
You are not trying hard enough to square the circle. "
Hhhm, what if its a triangle? |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious.
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing
What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying...
You are not trying hard enough to square the circle.
Hhhm, what if its a triangle? "
You are pushing the envelope now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Going forward. That just appeared from nowhere and overnight everyone was using it in almost every sentence. I can amuse myself with the ridiculous verbiage such as "helicopter view", "idea hopper" etc, but "going forward" is just far too insidious.
An idea hopper? Please say that isn't a thing
What is an idea hopper? No wonder I get things wrong all the time, I have no clue what people are saying...
You are not trying hard enough to square the circle.
Hhhm, what if its a triangle?
You are pushing the envelope now. "
That's an oblong |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad "
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries. |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door) "
So...what are you going to do about it...going forward?.... I think I might be losing my mind. |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries. "
Dynamic! Somebody actually put that in their CV |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries. "
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no "
Spreadsheets full of them.  |
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A number of years ago a colleague and I were sat near our team manager who was having a conversation with a consultant. It was littered with buzzwords and management bullshit. Needless to say we acted with the utmost professionalism by leaving the office so we could crack out laughing
|
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"A number of years ago a colleague and I were sat near our team manager who was having a conversation with a consultant. It was littered with buzzwords and management bullshit. Needless to say we acted with the utmost professionalism by leaving the office so we could crack out laughing
"
Love it. I had one colleague who described his work as 'artisan'. I nearly peed myself with laughter |
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"I can’t stand corporate speak. I’d not last a day if I were employed in that kind of environment. Bullshit truly baffles.
Oh, it truly drives me nuts. I'm a say what you mean kind if guy. An analogue man, trapped in a digital world!"
Are you Joe Walsh? |
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"I can’t stand corporate speak. I’d not last a day if I were employed in that kind of environment. Bullshit truly baffles.
Oh, it truly drives me nuts. I'm a say what you mean kind if guy. An analogue man, trapped in a digital world!
Are you Joe Walsh? "
I had to Google him.....I'm a little younger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Get your ducks in a row before we cascade this one down will you?
A classic. Normally my response is f**k your ducks "
Also hate ducks. How could you ever line up ducks?! |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them. "
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets. |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them.
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets. "
I'm so disappointed in you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them.
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets. "
I bloody love a good spreadsheet too! And don't get my talking about pivot tables..... |
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them.
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets.
I bloody love a good spreadsheet too! And don't get my talking about pivot tables....."
It was going so well X |
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In my management office, it is an acceptable method to signal availability to a colleague by shouting *I'm freeeeeeeeeeeee," across the office, in the voice of John Inman. Also, it is considered good manners to greet your fellow manager by saying "good moaning" in a pseudo French accent. That's about the level of BS we are purveyors of |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them.
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets.
I bloody love a good spreadsheet too! And don't get my talking about pivot tables.....
It was going so well X"
Your not a team player Fifey. |
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I might try sneaking in some fake management phrases in, just to see if they get picked up and used. Any ideas? This is just a straw man scenario, so feel free to kick it around the room and see what falls out. (See any daft cunt can do it!)
|
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them.
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets.
I bloody love a good spreadsheet too! And don't get my talking about pivot tables.....
It was going so well X
Your not a team player Fifey. "
|
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"I might try sneaking in some fake management phrases in, just to see if they get picked up and used. Any ideas? This is just a straw man scenario, so feel free to kick it around the room and see what falls out. (See any daft cunt can do it!)
"
Straw man is a real one! It's used to mean someone with no cash, or little cash. It's a disease of bullshit! |
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"A number of years ago a colleague and I were sat near our team manager who was having a conversation with a consultant. It was littered with buzzwords and management bullshit. Needless to say we acted with the utmost professionalism by leaving the office so we could crack out laughing
Love it. I had one colleague who described his work as 'artisan'. I nearly peed myself with laughter "
This consultant was MD of an IT consultancy company where they allowed their staff to choose their own job titles. One of their guys called himself a "Knowledge Engineer"!
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"I might try sneaking in some fake management phrases in, just to see if they get picked up and used. Any ideas? This is just a straw man scenario, so feel free to kick it around the room and see what falls out. (See any daft cunt can do it!)
I know it's real...that just goes to show how insidious it is. I can't decide which is worse, management speak or Americanism. What about American management speak??? The horror!!!
Straw man is a real one! It's used to mean someone with no cash, or little cash. It's a disease of bullshit!"
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The only way that kind of speak is bearable is to turn it into a game.
In boring meetings I used to play one of three games.
Silent bingo - Pick a handful of phrases that I thought would get used and treat myself to a prize if I was right.
Squeeze em in - Reply with as many of the phrases as possible. Again treat myself if I hit a set amount.
Make one up - Throw in something random that sounds like tech speak and watch my wanker ex boss pretend he knew it well and run with it |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
I heard an interview on the wireless this morning with a woman from some think tank or other. It was littered with so many management soundbites I filled my bingo card up in 3/4 of a mile.
There was one about changing direction of something or other but I had switched off by then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them.
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets.
I bloody love a good spreadsheet too! And don't get my talking about pivot tables.....
It was going so well X"
Haha! |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"I wonder if the originators of the flagpole metaphor said 'Let's put some wings on this and see if it flies'?
It obviously did!
I'm convinced there's a book that's given to people at business schools full of this stuff.
I'm recruiting for three staff right now. Everyone under 25 is using these pointless phrases
^^^This is true (in my recent experience). I sat through too many interviews in recent months that just consisted of people under 35/40 reeling off random corporate jargon, irrespective of the questions at hand. It was teeth curling
Does that mean fewer than 7/8 of the interviewees don't use management jargon. But they appreciate being on your radar.
It means I was keen to politely "manage them out" of the door (well, e-door)
100 applicants. 17 interviewees. It was that bad
Intake it none of them had the core competencies which are mission critical in your dynamic industries.
None that would help me achieve my KPIs, no
Spreadsheets full of them.
Spreadsheets, that is win-win situation, I am going to be proactive and them them to the next level.
I really do as I love spreadsheets.
I bloody love a good spreadsheet too! And don't get my talking about pivot tables.....
It was going so well X
Haha!"
Oooooft a Pivot table  . Don't get me started frequency distribution or a right hard formula. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Right.
There is a game i used to play in school called dickhead cricket.
You need 2 or more players, and you need to know your dickhead.
Pick a phrase each. On your turn, you need to get the speaker to say the phrase you picked. That phrase is worth two runs. If you can get the speaker to admit ignorance then that is six runs, but if the speaker either gets annoyed at you or realises there is a game of silly buggers going on, youre out.
I should note that i hold no responsibility if you get sacked.
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns.
Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play
show us your spreadsheets x"
I will action that as mine were mission critical today. |
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns.
Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play
show us your spreadsheets x
I will action that as mine were mission critical today. "
Those weren't the figures I was hoping for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im glad I dont have to listen to this sort of bollocks at work. It wouldnt cut with us lot, we would look at you with loathing and carry on the way we always have done.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I fucking despise the term “flesh it out”.
Which roughly translates as “fill this report full of absolute bollocks to make it longer and more irrelevant because I’m a fucking knob and love to waste your time”.
Luckily I am now the person that tells people to “flesh it out”.
Obviously I choose not to. |
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I just look at perpetrators and say "Sorry?"
They then try again and I say "What do you mean?".
Eventually they have to use English and I say "Why didn't you say that to start with?".
They hate me with a passion. |
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"I fucking despise the term “flesh it out”.
Which roughly translates as “fill this report full of absolute bollocks to make it longer and more irrelevant because I’m a fucking knob and love to waste your time”.
Luckily I am now the person that tells people to “flesh it out”.
Obviously I choose not to."
Maybe just hack off a pound of flesh and plonk it on the table with the report? They'll soon settle for a spot of Calibri, size 12 with moderate margins |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns.
Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play
show us your spreadsheets x
I will action that as mine were mission critical today.
Those weren't the figures I was hoping for "
I think I know the figures you mean. Bring them to the table. Are they deliverable? |
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"Tuesday, 17.19 - let’s circle back on today’s learns.
Let's touch base offline, it's nearly close of play
show us your spreadsheets x
I will action that as mine were mission critical today.
Those weren't the figures I was hoping for
I think I know the figures you mean. Bring them to the table. Are they deliverable? "
Ah yes, deliverables. Yep, I can see DHL rocking up with that report right now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The military now indulge in this pathetic bullshit too but even years ago used to use lots of acronyms and operation 'code names' instead of using plain English. It was always entertaining to invent things and throw them into conversations and watch people nodding wisely, pretending that they knew what they meant, when you knew that they were totally meaningless, but no one wanted to admit that they didn't know (and look as if they were 'out of the loop', of course????)! |
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