FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > People reading and ignoring messages
People reading and ignoring messages
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A guy is gonna say welcome to his world
Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested
Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sometimes when we say a polite no thank you we get asked to justify why not or get told it’s our loss constantly, I’ve had some pretty shitty responses when I’ve just tried to be respectful in declining an offer, I wouldn’t let it stress you out OP  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Happens to us all, just can’t dwell on it, I know I’m not for everyone and that’s completely fine.
I have no hang ups about it, I’ll just continue to be me and be just like marmite  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A guy is gonna say welcome to his world
Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested
Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds "
Plus 2 seconds x 100s of messages is a lot of time wasted.
And a polite 'no thanks' often elicits unpleasant messages in return.
And what may feel like a great message, may not land that way with the recipient.
KM |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do this because it isn’t just one message but 100s.
Actually had to delete my entire inbox recently so a whole load of people will see unread but deleted.
No reply = not interested. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Would it really be better though if they said ‘no thanks’?
As a former replier and now converted non replier, I know that for every few people that take it on the chin, there’s a vicious reply that I didn’t need to receive.
Everyone fabs differently but I can’t agree that it’s rude to not reply to everyone that messages.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would it really be better though if they said ‘no thanks’?
As a former replier and now converted non replier, I know that for every few people that take it on the chin, there’s a vicious reply that I didn’t need to receive.
Everyone fabs differently but I can’t agree that it’s rude to not reply to everyone that messages.
"
I agree and ladies get so many messages and if it’s not a reply the other wants to hear it’s really not fair on the lady the abuse 
If I don’t get a reply then I take it as a not for me and that’s completely fine, we all have our types  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s not rude
I have my filters on most of the time, but if I take them off for any reason (forum game for example) I get a few, and I don’t reply to many.
I’m not going to spend time on here knocking people back, I use my time on here as I wish.
Anyone that I reply to can then get around my filters in future.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes
Or just take it as a not interested and move on?  "
That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes when we say a polite no thank you we get asked to justify why not or get told it’s our loss constantly, I’ve had some pretty shitty responses when I’ve just tried to be respectful in declining an offer, I wouldn’t let it stress you out OP "
^^this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "
They obviously are not interested in you if they haven't replied so I doubt they care what you think of them anyhow. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."
Read posts above and you will find many a reason to just ignore
KM |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes
Or just take it as a not interested and move on?
That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."
And how is it better to receive a ‘no thanks’ message? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes
Or just take it as a not interested and move on?
That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."
You're not the only person to have messaged that day. Some of us get 100s of messages. There's absolutely no need to call people a cunt for not wanted to waste their time with you, but you still did it. That makes me wonder if you'd take a no well or if you'd call someone names. That's why people don't respond because for every one "ok thanks" there are two "why?" Or "didn't want to fuck you anyway you're ugly" messages.
You're not entitled to another's time or energy, it's ignorant to think you are.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude "
What about those people who've read and plan on coming back later to reply, at a time of their convenience?
And those who keep sending messages? I find that very off putting.
Stop checking what's happened to your message. If you get a reply, great, if you don't, move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've had a few lame messages this week, I have no intention of clicking on them or replying because I can read the whole message without doing so. I'll reply to most people if they put thought into a message, I don't just talk to people I'd sleep with.
As for a message being left on read and not getting a reply, I'd just think nothing of it because it doesn't matter. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I tend to delete, often delete before reading because I can see from the preview of the message that I wouldn’t be in the slightest bit interested. Sometimes Ive read read and forgot to delete or reply.
I don’t ever say no thank you as my no thank you is no response as my profile states and as per rules.
Had one guy this morning throw his toys out of the pram when I didn’t respond to all five messages he sent in the space of 15 minutes.
Joys of fab |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My mantra is, no reply or delete, they're not interested. If you get a reply and it's a no, respond with a pleasant thanks and move on. If you get hung up about messages, you'll quickly lose the plot on here x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "
I address this very point in my profile
Absolutely no issues being considered a rude cunt. Been called far worse by far better and I lived |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I understand you point but women are outnumbered greatly on fab and rarely have a membership so have a restricted amount of messages. If I replied to say
not interested I wouldn’t have messages to have a conversation with someone I am interested in.
Also generally if they read my profile they would probably know why I haven’t responded. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes
Or just take it as a not interested and move on?
That’s exactly what I do. Still rude. When you’ve spent time on someone’s profile, been respectful and articulated a pleasant polite message. There’s absolutely no need to just ignore."
I'm happy to be thought of as rude |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's not rude at a, no reply means no thanks it's in the sites FAQs
By replying your allowing that person to forever override an filters you may have set now it in the future
& also 9 times out of 10 the sender hasn't read the recipients bio & woykdbt he a good match so you are literally giving the recipient unnecessary work if you expect them to reply to every message.
Plus people generally don't take no thank you very well on here. I would say at least 1 in 3 no thanks you're either met with them trying to change your mind or abuse
Hence why the site advises you to ignore messages of people you're not interested in
Interested to know if you reply to every piece of junk Mail & takeaway menu that comes through your door? I guess not, kinda the sane thing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People can do what they want. Some people may think it's ignorance, others may think it's their choice. It's a sex site not a right of passage. Most companies ignore you when you are unsuccessful for interviews. So if they do it, why would people wanting to get wet need to do it.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude "
Annoying as it is , many people have no manners . Just a matter of shrugging one’s shoulders and moving on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are on here to enjoy ourselves and have fun. Saying no 100 times a day takes the fun away from being here.
Especially if one of those 100 then turns nasty. What do we gain out of the situation by saying no ? Absolutely nothing . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I understand you point but women are outnumbered greatly on fab and rarely have a membership so have a restricted amount of messages. If I replied to say
not interested I wouldn’t have messages to have a conversation with someone I am interested in.
Also generally if they read my profile they would probably know why I haven’t responded. "
That’s a good point I never thought of! I’d much rather spend my limited messages on people I’m interested in. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude "
I used to think this but a friend showed me her inbox it would take her all day to reply to them it made me think again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude "
Then it takes another 2 seconds to answer "why not" questions.
Then another 2 seconds to answer "no, there's nothing you can do to change my mind"
Then it takes another 2 seconds to block that person after a pile of insults.
Then multiply it by 20. Every day....
So fucking rude huh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes when we say a polite no thank you we get asked to justify why not or get told it’s our loss constantly, I’ve had some pretty shitty responses when I’ve just tried to be respectful in declining an offer, I wouldn’t let it stress you out OP
^^this "
Doubled |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry it happens to all on here at time just dont let it put you off as theres lots of great people on here too"
Just because people don’t reply, it doesn’t mean they aren’t great too, it just means they prioritise their own time. As someone said above, just because someone messaged you, doesn’t mean they are entitled to your time and energy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude
What about those people who've read and plan on coming back later to reply, at a time of their convenience?
And those who keep sending messages? I find that very off putting.
Stop checking what's happened to your message. If you get a reply, great, if you don't, move on."
So true, I often read and think I’ll reply later when I’ve time to consider reply and have even been blocked because I didn’t reply quick enough haha
I have had too many follow up messages from my polite no thank you ones to waste time and energy on them now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sorry it happens to all on here at time just dont let it put you off as theres lots of great people on here too"
So if I don’t reply to a ‘Hi’ or ‘fancy a fuck’ message I’m not a decent person ?
Or are those messages acceptable to ignore ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *x cplCouple
over a year ago
North of Oxford |
We agree it might only take a few seconds to say not interested, but this can also been seen as an opening in many cases to chat, It also might take a few seconds longer for the message sender to read the profile of the who they message and clearly be outside what they look for but they still message. If they can't be bothered to read profiles and they are clearly outside what we state why should we respond. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *age500Woman
over a year ago
ashton-under-lyne |
I don’t think it’s rude at all. The way I see it is that I didn’t ask for a message, I don’t owe a response.
If someone sends a really nice message or you can tell a lot of effort has been made (which is an extremely rare occurrence) then I’ll send a polite no thank you. But other than that, I don’t respond |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" We agree it might only take a few seconds to say not interested, but this can also been seen as an opening in many cases to chat, It also might take a few seconds longer for the message sender to read the profile of the who they message and clearly be outside what they look for but they still message. If they can't be bothered to read profiles and they are clearly outside what we state why should we respond. "
Simple answer is you shouldn’t
If I don’t get a response from a message then I really just use mg brain and understand I’m clearly not from them and like wise they aren’t for me. I was recently speaking with somebody who I really felt a connection with, constantly messaging on here and then via an app out of nowhere the conversation ended ….. yes I was disappointed but people can just switch off I just don’t take it personal … just move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Remember no one has asked you to message them. You don’t have to send them a message. You do have a choice. Happens to everyone on here so, you’re no different to anyone else in not getting replies. It’s a site for fun, not a job x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude "
Do you reply to your junk mail from the postie then? Same thing in my eyes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A guy is gonna say welcome to his world
Someone else will say - read the faq’s no reply = not interested
Someone else will agree replying takes 2 seconds "
This…. Plus sometimes if you reply with a polite no thank you… you get a rude response back… |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Like it literally takes 2 seconds to say ‘I’m not interested’ I absolutely hate being left on read it’s so rude "
Send your message and don't check back.
Keep your eyes on the inbox only.
Many people are nervous to say no thank you, for one reason or another.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Let me give 2 different perspectives. On my single profile I will generally reply of the message is polite and this profile we rarely do as people are just sending random messages and with the quantity it would just take too much time away from the reason that we are on fab
Beard |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It takes a lot of time to reply to all messages, I try to be polite most of the time but really it’s more hassle than it’s worth.
As others have said no reply = no interested
It’s so much easier to ignore messages than into, why? Or abuse sent back  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes "
Don’t be ridiculous. It can be 200/300 a day for some people. Why should they reply when it’s more often than not a shit message anyway and they haven’t read the profile. Get real. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t think it’s rude at all. The way I see it is that I didn’t ask for a message, I don’t owe a response.
If someone sends a really nice message or you can tell a lot of effort has been made (which is an extremely rare occurrence) then I’ll send a polite no thank you. But other than that, I don’t respond "
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t think it’s rude at all. The way I see it is that I didn’t ask for a message, I don’t owe a response.
If someone sends a really nice message or you can tell a lot of effort has been made (which is an extremely rare occurrence) then I’ll send a polite no thank you. But other than that, I don’t respond
This "
This for me too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Shit crack. It’s rude. It’s ignorant. Makes you look like a cunt in my eyes
Don’t be ridiculous. It can be 200/300 a day for some people. Why should they reply when it’s more often than not a shit message anyway and they haven’t read the profile. Get real. "
Yep |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
