FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Blacks only

Blacks only

By *ames-77 OP Man over a year ago

milton keynes

Haha just saw a profile that said blacks only actually made me chuckle a bit.. I know skin colour is a preference but could put it a less racist way haha.. just made me laugh don't need all the big debate comments

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By *agpie and RavenMan over a year ago

Leicester

Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank

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By *ames-77 OP Man over a year ago

milton keynes

"Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank"

They would be the same yes .. I haven't come across a whites only comment yet but it's exactly the same..nothing wrong with saying my preference is white black but to say blacks only or whites only haha it's a bit savage

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank

No it's just preference... nothing with it.. and funny you got triggered by the profiles that say black only

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By *agpie and RavenMan over a year ago

Leicester

"Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank

You're only noticing the blacks only comments because it excludes you. There are plenty of whites only/no blacks/no asians profile out there too.

Frank

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By *ames-77 OP Man over a year ago

milton keynes

"Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank

No it's just preference... nothing with it.. and funny you got triggered by the profiles that say black only "

Oh god here we go thought I'd get someone jump on the bandwagon.. why can't people just chat on here without causing problems.. mate I'm not racist I like all races attracted to all varieties.. and if you read it I said I haven't yet seen a whites only .. I've seen BWC or BBC ahh forget it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Man go to sleep it's 3am.

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By *penbicoupleCouple over a year ago

Northampton

"Haha just saw a profile that said blacks only actually made me chuckle a bit.. I know skin colour is a preference but could put it a less racist way haha.. just made me laugh don't need all the big debate comments "

My guess is that you'll find FAR more that say, "We're not racist, but no blacks, asians, or eastern europeans..."

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By *rNaughtyNickMan over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 13/02/22 04:37:21]

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By *rNaughtyNickMan over a year ago

Birmingham

My guess is that you'll find FAR more that say, "We're not racist, but no blacks, asians, or eastern europeans..." "

Yep this is 100% been on fab long enough were everyone has "preference".

Plenty of profiles out there just move on.

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By *eisty LadyWoman over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

I get loads of messages from men who say hello and that they’re black but nothing else- like it’s a jump to the front of the queue card.

I’ve never had an equivalent message from a white man

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

If they need to specify their skin colour in a message then I am not interested

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

If you aren't up for a big debate then why stick it in the forums?? Why not just think it to yourself.

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By *opilotMan over a year ago

Heathrow

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

I totally agree. I just saw a profile that said, no blacks, and I thought how rude.

Yes have your own preferences, but there are nicer ways of putting it

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By *ames-77 OP Man over a year ago

milton keynes

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

I totally agree. I just saw a profile that said, no blacks, and I thought how rude.

Yes have your own preferences, but there are nicer ways of putting it "

That was the point mate

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By *opilotMan over a year ago

Heathrow

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

I totally agree. I just saw a profile that said, no blacks, and I thought how rude.

Yes have your own preferences, but there are nicer ways of putting it

That was the point mate "

Yeah, I'm agreeing with you.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

"I get loads of messages from men who say hello and that they’re black but nothing else- like it’s a jump to the front of the queue card.

I’ve never had an equivalent message from a white man

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

If they need to specify their skin colour in a message then I am not interested "

I have the opposite men txt and say I'm black would u consider talk/meet a black man as if they think they are not worthy I tell them colour does not come into anything! If I like a person then that's all that matters x

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By *iman2100Man over a year ago

Glasgow

I have read that other "dating apps" are considering preventing selection on the grounds of race as in virtually all other commercial, charitable and club situations it is already illegal. Personal preference is no excuse in Law. I assume Fab will consider it sometime and may already being doing so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get loads of messages from men who say hello and that they’re black but nothing else- like it’s a jump to the front of the queue card.

I’ve never had an equivalent message from a white man

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

If they need to specify their skin colour in a message then I am not interested "

But this is the thing... we are black we can't change who we are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My guess is that you'll find FAR more that say, "We're not racist, but no blacks, asians, or eastern europeans..." "

I find more of these.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My guess is that you'll find FAR more that say, "We're not racist, but no blacks, asians, or eastern europeans..." "

Those are kind of the worst!! It’s okay to have a preference but also the way it is said, is important

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"I have read that other "dating apps" are considering preventing selection on the grounds of race as in virtually all other commercial, charitable and club situations it is already illegal. Personal preference is no excuse in Law. I assume Fab will consider it sometime and may already being doing so. "

How ridiculous. Its not illegal to choose who you are attracted to based on race. No one has a right to your attraction and affection.

Yes, deciding you don't like or are not attracted a whole race of people is racist at its very essence because how can you know, you won't have met them all BUT my body and my sexual or romantic encounters are not a good or service and so I believe not covered by current discrimination laws.

Having a preference is fine, it's how you express said preferences that often cause issues.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How ridiculous. Its not illegal to choose who you are attracted to based on race. No one has a right to your attraction and affection.

Having a preference is fine, it's how you express said preferences that often cause issues. "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank

No it's just preference... nothing with it.. and funny you got triggered by the profiles that say black only

From when you said your not racist but.....

Yeah.... you definitely got triggered by Blacks only....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank

No it's just preference... nothing with it.. and funny you got triggered by the profiles that say black only

Mate there's plenty of profiles that day white men only...... let's be honest... a majority of them have never played or engaged with Black or Asian men.

What you mean I'm jumping on the bandwagon.... you mention Black men.. so obviously that includes me....

Don't come in the kitchen if you can't take the heat.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you put the preference in a less racist way?

I have seem profiles that say black only, white only and even mixed race only. If that's their preference, so be it. I don't see it being any different from the ones asking for tall men only. This is a sex site. Not a job site. People have the right to have any type of preference on their sexual partners.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get loads of messages from men who say hello and that they’re black but nothing else- like it’s a jump to the front of the queue card.

I’ve never had an equivalent message from a white man

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

If they need to specify their skin colour in a message then I am not interested

I find it incredibly sad that men feel they need to do that. But it's based on attitudes towards black men here of course. Or "preferences" as so many love to call it.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

In what way could it be less racist?

My preference is for black men only please. That could work.

Is it the use of the word 'blacks' that rubbed you up the wrong way?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here."

But it is racist at its heart. Whole heartedly agree people can and should fuck who they want but how can they say they don't want yo fuck a whole race? They are stereotyping or basing that exclusion on something aren't they?

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By *yron69Man over a year ago

Fareham

Every week and this debate comes up most normally by chaps with a fair complexion.

No matter how it’s put, they feel threatened.

Other people sit on the fence and act as they are only here to meet humans. Any will do..

Every one of us seeks people by type. Black is a category but could of course be labelled differently which is how the issue is generally tip toed around.

Seeking persons of darker complexion?

Wanted cock over 8” thick and veiny like a Mars bar?

Sisters with broad buttocks needed for skinny fair guy?

My missus is chubby and black and a complete nightmare. Cooking is great though and she is spotlessly clean. Bit tits too.

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By *ames-77 OP Man over a year ago

milton keynes

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here."

Knew there would be people like this who didn't read it properly

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here."

The OP was pointing out the connotations of a blacks only request given the racist history it has, especially when trying to attract people for sex.

That's why he said he laughed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

I agree but you know the rest of the thread will be people arguing that it's "preference".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So to get back to the op.

What words would you use in a profile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are your thoughts the same for the many profiles that state whites only, or similar?

Frank

No it's just preference... nothing with it.. and funny you got triggered by the profiles that say black only

What sort of comment or discussions did you hope to have considering your op?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

I totally agree. I just saw a profile that said, no blacks, and I thought how rude.

Yes have your own preferences, but there are nicer ways of putting it

That was the point mate

Yeah, I'm agreeing with you."

I agree with you both. The negativity turns me off, whatever the demand.

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By *esthetic21Man over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

This thread was made to start a race argument.

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By *esthetic21Man over a year ago

Birmingham/Bristol

But personally I do believe putting things like white only or blacks only is racist in a sense. You're excluding someone based on the colour of their skin. That's racism. I generally go for white women but that doesn't mean I haven't seen many non white women are incredibly attractive and the thought of skin colour wouldn't even cross my mind.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

Not really. The underlying cause for this misunderstanding is that people fail to recognise visual attraction and personal judgement are different. I personally am not attracted to women with short hair. I also have a preference for tall women. Does that mean I consider short women or women with short hair to he lesser humans? No. I am happy to be friends with them. I am pretty sure there are plenty of short haired women who are great humans. It's just that I am not visually attracted to them.

Are there racists among the people who would only meet black people or only white people? Yes. Just like any group of people you see outside, there will be some racists. But arriving at a conclusion that someone wanting or not wanting to have sex with a specific race implies they are racist, is lazy and arrogant. Humans are much complicated than that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/02/22 08:35:05]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Every week and this debate comes up most normally by chaps with a fair complexion.

No matter how it’s put, they feel threatened.

Other people sit on the fence and act as they are only here to meet humans. Any will do..

Every one of us seeks people by type. Black is a category but could of course be labelled differently which is how the issue is generally tip toed around.

Seeking persons of darker complexion?

Wanted cock over 8” thick and veiny like a Mars bar?

Sisters with broad buttocks needed for skinny fair guy?

My missus is chubby and black and a complete nightmare. Cooking is great though and she is spotlessly clean. Bit tits too.

Actually it comes from people with all complexions. I have seen white people, black people and Asians complaining about this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is saying 'blacks' racist? Black, white, brown... they're skin tones.

People are far too triggered & offended now days.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

The OP was pointing out the connotations of a blacks only request given the racist history it has, especially when trying to attract people for sex.

That's why he said he laughed.

How about else is someone supposed to mention that?

Looking for humans with skin colour that absorbs more heat?

Looking for people with high melanin content?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

I do kind of see your point but if your Mrs was to suddenly shave her hair off would you dump her instantly? If someone with short hair decided to grow it out or wear a long wig would your attraction change instantly?

I just fail to see how someone can discount millions of people.

My preference is for men with short hair but I'd climb Jason momoa like a tree, for instance.

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

The OP was pointing out the connotations of a blacks only request given the racist history it has, especially when trying to attract people for sex.

That's why he said he laughed.

How about else is someone supposed to mention that?

Looking for humans with skin colour that absorbs more heat?

Looking for people with high melanin content?

I am not saying it is racist here .. people will either read profiles and be turned off or will see the same profile and think they stand half a chance at a meet. I was only pointing out the original context..

Just thinking wider though, there's plenty of threads on mental health, so take race out of it - what if people started updating profiles with 'only normal people'. I'm pretty sure there'd be a more sympathetic response. Would people be so keen to sit on the "get over it, it's a preference" fence, if 'only normal' was widely adopted.

Bit early for me to post a reply as I am not awake really..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve seen a few which say “no Asians, blacks” it goes both ways…

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not sure why people are jumping down your throat for this

I totally see your point, I get that people have a preference but surely theres nicer ways of writing it, 'blacks only' sounds blunt and racist to me.

Equally if there was a 'whites only' comment i'd think exactly the same.

I don't have time for anyone with a rude or blunt profile. Whats wrong with trying to be nice, polite and friendly these days????

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By *ames-77 OP Man over a year ago

milton keynes

"I'm not sure why people are jumping down your throat for this

I totally see your point, I get that people have a preference but surely theres nicer ways of writing it, 'blacks only' sounds blunt and racist to me.

Equally if there was a 'whites only' comment i'd think exactly the same.

I don't have time for anyone with a rude or blunt profile. Whats wrong with trying to be nice, polite and friendly these days????"

That was my point.. it's the wording of it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

The OP was pointing out the connotations of a blacks only request given the racist history it has, especially when trying to attract people for sex.

That's why he said he laughed.

How about else is someone supposed to mention that?

Looking for humans with skin colour that absorbs more heat?

Looking for people with high melanin content?

Bit early for me to post a reply as I am not awake really..

Surely that would be a preference too. I have been in a relationship with someone who was suffering from a serious mental health issues. I got a divorce. But those years drained a big part of me. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be having relationship with someone with such issues again. Not everyone is equipped to handle it. In fact, I have actually seen profiles that say "Normal people only" or "No weirdos please". So yes. They all have the right to choose who they want to meet. And mentioning it openly in their profiles is better as it saves time for both of us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

I just fail to see how someone can discount millions of people.

My preference is for men with short hair but I'd climb Jason momoa like a tree, for instance. "

You are mixing long term emotional relationship with swinging? In case of a romantic relationship, visual attraction matters but not as much as emotional compatibility. So one could compromise on visual attraction for a relationship. When it comes to NSA sex, physical attraction plays a much more important role than anything else.

If you feel that it's not clever to discount millions of people, that's great. But not everyone has to feel that way. Physical attraction is not always rational. Beauty standards have varied from time to time and also varies from person to person.

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Didn’t you just add to it by posting this thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not sure why people are jumping down your throat for this

I totally see your point, I get that people have a preference but surely theres nicer ways of writing it, 'blacks only' sounds blunt and racist to me.

Equally if there was a 'whites only' comment i'd think exactly the same.

I don't have time for anyone with a rude or blunt profile. Whats wrong with trying to be nice, polite and friendly these days????

That was my point.. it's the wording of it "

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

The OP was pointing out the connotations of a blacks only request given the racist history it has, especially when trying to attract people for sex.

That's why he said he laughed.

How about else is someone supposed to mention that?

Looking for humans with skin colour that absorbs more heat?

Looking for people with high melanin content?

Bit early for me to post a reply as I am not awake really..

The question wasn't about you or if you'd find it ok.

The question was if fab in general wouldn't have issue, as it'd be likely that a lot of people would leave, and it'd heighten MH issues if the above was adopted.

There are many things that are close to peoples hearts that don't affect them until raised. Small dicks, weight, ginger hair, affairs, big pussy's whatever.

This thread could have gone in a different direction but it obviously divides opinion so it affects you as much as the OP. The OP laughing reflects the absurdity of it. People could have joked and derailed the thread with "no cake eaters", "lycra wearers only", "cumsluts and bukakke or nothing" but everyone in the thread is 'triggered' to degrees for not taking the OP for what it was.

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By *iman2100Man over a year ago

Glasgow

How ridiculous. Its not illegal to choose who you are attracted to based on race. No one has a right to your attraction and affection.

Having a preference is fine, it's how you express said preferences that often cause issues. "

I agree with what you say, personal choice in relationships should not be goverened by Law, except, of course, where the protection of minors is concerened.

The problem is, a real racist could put forward the same preference arguments to justify their unacceptable stance.

If you put "blacks only" it is not easy, on the face of it, to defend the claim you were not discriminating against the whole white and Asian races.

Some day, someone, will bring a case to Court and we will hopefully have a bit of clarity but it is a minefield.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

That's not racist or unpleasant

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

I think he's talking about the wording, not the race preference.

Black people would be preferable to blacks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How ridiculous. Its not illegal to choose who you are attracted to based on race. No one has a right to your attraction and affection.

Having a preference is fine, it's how you express said preferences that often cause issues.

I agree with what you say, personal choice in relationships should not be goverened by Law, except, of course, where the protection of minors is concerened.

The problem is, a real racist could put forward the same preference arguments to justify their unacceptable stance.

If you put "blacks only" it is not easy, on the face of it, to defend the claim you were not discriminating against the whole white and Asian races.

Some day, someone, will bring a case to Court and we will hopefully have a bit of clarity but it is a minefield. "

So if I was racist against certain races and wouldn't fuck them... then what? I discriminate against entire groups of people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know what I like and what’s wrong with asking for it ?

Nothing wrong. Everyone has the right to choose who they want to have sex with. It's actually better if they specify it openly in their profiles. Saves their time and my time too.

It's surprising that most people on a swinger's site don't understand that people have personal preferences and try to mix racism here.

The OP was pointing out the connotations of a blacks only request given the racist history it has, especially when trying to attract people for sex.

That's why he said he laughed.

How about else is someone supposed to mention that?

Looking for humans with skin colour that absorbs more heat?

Looking for people with high melanin content?

Bit early for me to post a reply as I am not awake really..

The question wasn't about you or if you'd find it ok.

The question was if fab in general wouldn't have issue, as it'd be likely that a lot of people would leave, and it'd heighten MH issues if the above was adopted.

There are many things that are close to peoples hearts that don't affect them until raised. Small dicks, weight, ginger hair, affairs, big pussy's whatever.

There are many people with concerns around black only messages as are people who aren't bothered about it. Same will be true for mental health issues too. Some people would prefer others not to do it. Some people would find it totally fine. Would they all leave fab? It's entirely up to them. They have all the rights to do it. But no matter where you go, people will have personal preferences and exercise it in some way or the other. So leaving fab would not really change anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think he's talking about the wording, not the race preference.

Black people would be preferable to blacks.

I realised it later. I understand what the OP says. But I don't think most people understand the meaning behind the blacks only term.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How ridiculous. Its not illegal to choose who you are attracted to based on race. No one has a right to your attraction and affection.

Having a preference is fine, it's how you express said preferences that often cause issues.

I agree with what you say, personal choice in relationships should not be goverened by Law, except, of course, where the protection of minors is concerened.

The problem is, a real racist could put forward the same preference arguments to justify their unacceptable stance.

If you put "blacks only" it is not easy, on the face of it, to defend the claim you were not discriminating against the whole white and Asian races.

Some day, someone, will bring a case to Court and we will hopefully have a bit of clarity but it is a minefield. "

Court case for someone not willing to have sex with certain races? I hope the court uses its time to something better.

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By *risxbrisxMan over a year ago

Bristol

I think stating likes in general comes across in a much more positive light than than a whole heap of Disklikes on a profile.

"Love black/white " sounds a lot better than "no white/black"

Regardless people should say what they want on their profile, it helps us all decide who we would like/not like to connect with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe they are just loyal to their favourite outdoor clothing shop?

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By *inkywife1981Couple over a year ago

A town near you

Il hazard a guess.

Not being attracted to darker skin tones doesn't make you racist.

Not being attracted to members of the same sex doesn't make you homophobic

Not being attracted to trans people doesn't make you transphobic

Etc etc etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've been through all of this so many times on similar threads. The only thing that anyone can agree on perhaps is that positive preferences are much less likely to make people feel excluded. "Love blonde women" vs "can't stand gingers".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've been through all of this so many times on similar threads. The only thing that anyone can agree on perhaps is that positive preferences are much less likely to make people feel excluded. "Love blonde women" vs "can't stand gingers". "

I love gingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love gingers "

Perfect example

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

Yes this x

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By *llovereveryMan over a year ago

Halifax

"You're only noticing the blacks only comments because it excludes you. There are plenty of whites only/no blacks/no asians profile out there too."

Good observation, I've noticed the "No Asians" because it excludes me. If you unpack the racial exclusion or inclusion then it has to be done within context e.g. from a sexual perspective people do have preferences which may include or exclude a specific race. And if they're looking for sex (only) then it needs stipulating from their perspective.

Outside of that, I don't make any assumptions about the person.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love gingers

Perfect example

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love gingers

Perfect example

In fairness I love everything and everyone

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By *batMan over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"Not really. The underlying cause for this misunderstanding is that people fail to recognise visual attraction and personal judgement are different. I personally am not attracted to women with short hair. I also have a preference for tall women. "

Of course we should only meet those that we want to.

But here's an issue. You don't like short hair on women, but where do you draw the line?

Is a crew cut okay? (obviously not!)

But what about a crew cut that's been allowed to grow for 2 weeks? 18 days, 20 days, 30 days, 40 days, 50 days etc etc.

What about long hair that's tied up? Where do you stand on that?

Do you prefer a drop dead gorgeous person who excited you and has shorter hair (but not short!) over a person who's a bit meh! but has hair half way down their back? Is it the hair that is the overarching defining feature for you?

Do you feel the need to actually specify a length that is acceptable to you or do you make a judgement when you see someone?

Same with race. Some black people are very dark, some are very light, some are somewhere in between. Other physical features will occupy a similarly vast scale. Would a mixed race very light skinned person be ruled out, but a nordic blonde with a dark tan be ruled in?

To exclude all those people because of a "preference" surely can't be based on looks because black people will look vastly different from each other. And if the "preference" is not based on looks, then what IS it based on?

People must choose who they want, but don't try and pretend something is what it isn't. For me, it gives a good insight to the person who writes the profile.

(none of this is a personal attack on you or your love for tall, long haired women. I like them too, just that I like lots of other people as well!)

Gbat

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Positive or negative preferences in profiles are one thing. It's when they are used as a stick to beat people with in private messages that they are more difficult to ignore.

As someone who has experienced this on here because of my nationality it was one of the first signs that the image some people like to portray of themselves is often a false one

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By *llovereveryMan over a year ago

Halifax

Of course we should only meet those that we want to.

But here's an issue. You don't like short hair on women, but where do you draw the line?

Is a crew cut okay? (obviously not!)

But what about a crew cut that's been allowed to grow for 2 weeks? 18 days, 20 days, 30 days, 40 days, 50 days etc etc.

What about long hair that's tied up? Where do you stand on that?

Do you feel the need to actually specify a length that is acceptable to you or do you make a judgement when you see someone?

People must choose who they want, but don't try and pretend something is what it isn't. For me, it gives a good insight to the person who writes the profile.

(none of this is a personal attack on you or your love for tall, long haired women. I like them too, just that I like lots of other people as well!)

Gbat "

I don't understand your point but I think I'd like to know more about your perspective.

I understand your comment about varying degrees of blackness and I tend to agree with your observation. However isn't objectifying a race more to do with the person doing the objectifying?

On that basis, each person that states "blacks only", "whites only" etc is merely projecting their own inner perception of what brings him/her the greatest sense of sexual gratification perhaps?

Also, if you don't include or exclude people based on preference (racial in this instance) then what criteria do you suggest for someone who wholly wants someone of a specific race?

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By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

I don't care about preferences or partialities. Each to their own. It's the ungracious vernacular and the tone of the profile that I find off-putting.

For example "I love white with pink polka dots" is more positive compared to "WE ARE NOT INTO BROWN WITH BLUE CANDY-STRIPES!!" because the latter becomes a 'loaded' remark aimed at those very people. Just tell me what you prefer because I am intelligent enough to determine if we have anything in common.

In any case "crisx420x" and "Inconceivable" summed it up perfectly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course we should only meet those that we want to.

But here's an issue. You don't like short hair on women, but where do you draw the line?

Is a crew cut okay? (obviously not!)

But what about a crew cut that's been allowed to grow for 2 weeks? 18 days, 20 days, 30 days, 40 days, 50 days etc etc.

What about long hair that's tied up? Where do you stand on that?

Do you feel the need to actually specify a length that is acceptable to you or do you make a judgement when you see someone?

People must choose who they want, but don't try and pretend something is what it isn't. For me, it gives a good insight to the person who writes the profile.

(none of this is a personal attack on you or your love for tall, long haired women. I like them too, just that I like lots of other people as well!)

Gbat "

"Drop dead gorgeous" is a subjective term. People find Meg Ryan beautiful. I don't. When it comes to height, I absolutely like tall women. I usually consider anyone about 5'5". I know of a woman back in India who only dates guys with moustache. She basically excluded a major section of population with that choice. Everyone excludes people one way or another. As a single guy, I can't afford to exclude anyone. But all power to anyone who already gets a lot of meets. They can afford to be more picky.

I am not sure how black people looking differently somehow implies it can't be preference based on looks. There is no logic in that inference you made. There is definitely some difference between a black, Asian and white skin tone? Maybe there are some Asians or black with fairer skin tone. But who cares?

If you notice the profiles who have mentioned that they meet only people from a specific race, they most probably have multiple meets already. They can afford to not compromise on their preferences. When you get 100 messages every day, it makes sense to focus on who they think will best match their preferences.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

‘Blacks’

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By *jorkishMan over a year ago

Seaforth

"‘Blacks’ "

To me if a profile says blacks only or whites only it's dehumanizing a person. Black men/women or white men/women only at least acknowledges that the person is a human being regardless of skins colour or tone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"‘Blacks’

Agree. The ‘Blacks’ or ‘Whites’ has never sat right with me. Just a weird way to describe a human being. I know for lots of people it’s just a norm and it bothers some and doesn’t bother others but I’m not with that shit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

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By *unkmiMan over a year ago

Shropshire

I think he said it was the wording not the sentiment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

JUst seems a bit daft really. I don't think I've ever been attracted or not to someone just because of their skin.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think he said it was the wording not the sentiment "

Yeah i think he did.

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By *unkmiMan over a year ago

Shropshire

"I get loads of messages from men who say hello and that they’re black but nothing else- like it’s a jump to the front of the queue card.

I’ve never had an equivalent message from a white man

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

If they need to specify their skin colour in a message then I am not interested

But this is the thing... we are black we can't change who we are "

That's a silly statement

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By *unkmiMan over a year ago

Shropshire

"I get loads of messages from men who say hello and that they’re black but nothing else- like it’s a jump to the front of the queue card.

I’ve never had an equivalent message from a white man

I don’t understand the mentality - a person is a person and that’s it

If they need to specify their skin colour in a message then I am not interested

But this is the thing... we are black we can't change who we are "

That's a silly statement

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By *ingle ex cuckMan over a year ago

chester

"Man go to sleep it's 3am."

He’s entitled to comment any hour he wants

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

Exactly how you have right there. ‘I have a preference for muscular hung black guys’. Some might say you could ditch the race bit and search for men you liked yourself and ignore the messages from those who dont fit your criteria.

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By *ffanotdykeCouple over a year ago

Telford

Why has it suddenly become virtually illegal to have preferences.

Next it will be illegal to turn someone down because they appear to have some transmitable disorder.

I like Marmite and Bovril but I can accept that others do not.

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By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

•

You've expressed that fine. No problem.

If you had said "NOT INTERESTED IN WEAK, EMACIATED SHORT-DICKED ASIAN GUYS" then that would possibly cause some umbrage.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"‘Blacks’

. "

That's the point in the OP.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why has it suddenly become virtually illegal to have preferences.

Next it will be illegal to turn someone down because they appear to have some transmitable disorder.

I like Marmite and Bovril but I can accept that others do not.

Hyperbole isn't helpful

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

By not saying I love blacks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jeez.

If you don't want to do something it's an aversion.

YOU have the aversion, you don't speak for all and it's not your opinion on the something or someone. It's about what you are comfortable with and will allow into YOUR life.

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By *batMan over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"I don't understand your point but I think I'd like to know more about your perspective.

I understand your comment about varying degrees of blackness and I tend to agree with your observation. However isn't objectifying a race more to do with the person doing the objectifying?

On that basis, each person that states "blacks only", "whites only" etc is merely projecting their own inner perception of what brings him/her the greatest sense of sexual gratification perhaps?

Also, if you don't include or exclude people based on preference (racial in this instance) then what criteria do you suggest for someone who wholly wants someone of a specific race?

In a nutshell, I believe that when people exclude or specify they only include a whole race, then they are displaying racist behaviour, whether they actually understand this themselves or not. They are entitled to feel this way, but it doesn't change their underlying motivation.

There are such a wide range of appearances within a race that excluding (or only including) a whole race surely can't be based on their looks, it's based solely on how their race is defined. In essence, they are basing their choice on a label rather than the person that would be before them.

Gbat

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By *batMan over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

I'm not saying they can't do it. I'm not saying they aren't successful.

I'm just saying what it is.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

•

You've expressed that fine. No problem.

If you had said "NOT INTERESTED IN WEAK, EMACIATED SHORT-DICKED ASIAN GUYS" then that would possibly cause some umbrage."

I feel attacked

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By *batMan over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

"When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

I think you hit the nail on the head.

That's how you can express it.

Gbat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

•

You've expressed that fine. No problem.

If you had said "NOT INTERESTED IN WEAK, EMACIATED SHORT-DICKED ASIAN GUYS" then that would possibly cause some umbrage.

I feel attacked

Whenever I look at your photos, weak and emaciated come to mind

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some interesting comments.

I don’t think having a preference is racist. I don’t think making that preference clear on a profile is racist.

I do think defining a group of people as “blacks” is racist.

Blacks only

Is very different to

I am only looking for black men/women

This is my opinion. For now anyway…it’s always open to being changed.

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By *llovereveryMan over a year ago

Halifax

" In a nutshell, I believe that when people exclude or specify they only include a whole race, then they are displaying racist behaviour, whether they actually understand this themselves or not. They are entitled to feel this way, but it doesn't change their underlying motivation.

Gbat "

Thanks for taking the time to reply back. Its appreciated. I understtand your point now.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

I like the red midget gems too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like rainbow colours

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By *iman2100Man over a year ago

Glasgow

In many ways a positive statement is better than negative one if the racism point is to be avoided.

For example "We are looking for a black guy to join us

" is better than "We don't want white single men, you will be blocked".

As we can all see from the above, it is not an easy area to navigate.

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

It’s funny how people hid behind the idea it’s just a preference, because it’s nearly a textbook definition of racism. We get a lot of guys hitting on us because they ‘love black girls’ and that too is borderline racism.

Yes, people here can be racist. But they are uncomfortable admitting that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s funny how people hid behind the idea it’s just a preference, because it’s nearly a textbook definition of racism. We get a lot of guys hitting on us because they ‘love black girls’ and that too is borderline racism.

Yes, people here can be racist. But they are uncomfortable admitting that.

What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everbody is allowed preferences I live in Essex so lot of lady’s want bbc it’s just the same as age range likes and dislikes freedom to express ones self how they like

Respect the individual and the profile !

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?"

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Race discussion every week gets tiring

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Race discussion every week gets tiring "

And there are no other topics discussed regularly in the forum are there? You could merely choose to stay off the threads that tire you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference."

I know exactly how this will go on here but nonetheless I do agree with you. There is a difference.

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

Respect the individual and the profile !

I respect the profile and individual, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s racist.

And honestly, the taboo quality of the dynamic is a large part of it’s power.

But Essex? Really… is the whole county like that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When it comes to NSA sex I have a preference for muscular hung black guys. How do I express that without upsetting people?

•

You've expressed that fine. No problem.

If you had said "NOT INTERESTED IN WEAK, EMACIATED SHORT-DICKED ASIAN GUYS" then that would possibly cause some umbrage.

I feel attacked

Whenever I look at your photos, weak and emaciated come to mind

Haha good thing short dick doesn't though, that's the most important thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Race discussion every week gets tiring

And there are no other topics discussed regularly in the forum are there? You could merely choose to stay off the threads that tire you. "

I’m free to comment where I like

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"Race discussion every week gets tiring

And there are no other topics discussed regularly in the forum are there? You could merely choose to stay off the threads that tire you.

I’m free to comment where I like "

That's true, but if you're tired of reading a topic you can skip over it.

I find that's best for me to do, so I don't feel like the forums get me down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Race discussion every week gets tiring

And there are no other topics discussed regularly in the forum are there? You could merely choose to stay off the threads that tire you.

I’m free to comment where I like

That's true, but if you're tired of reading a topic you can skip over it.

I find that's best for me to do, so I don't feel like the forums get me down."

That’s ok for you I like to express myself, I don’t comment every time but I chose to this time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Race discussion every week gets tiring

And there are no other topics discussed regularly in the forum are there? You could merely choose to stay off the threads that tire you.

I’m free to comment where I like "

Anyone is of course welcome to comment where they like. It was merely a suggestion so you don't tire yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference."

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, people here can be racist. But they are uncomfortable admitting that.

Sorry you feel that way. But as I mentioned above. Physical attraction to a particular type doesn't imply racism.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's honestly crazy that this even needs discussing, let alone on a site like this.

No one can ever take away your freedom of association. For those bringing up discrimination, you must also realise that gender is a protected characteristic in the same way as race?

Would you also scream gender discrimination when a man prefers the company of a lady in his bedroom and has 'no men' scrawled on his profile?

You might feel that more sensitive wording could be used, but it's really because you're sour that you won't get to bang the petite blonde with 'BBC ONLY' in her subject line.

If I see I don't fit someone's preferences, or I think their profile is rude, I move on and find the next. Why waste my time thinking about someone I'm clearly not compatible with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's honestly crazy that this even needs discussing, let alone on a site like this.

No one can ever take away your freedom of association. For those bringing up discrimination, you must also realise that gender is a protected characteristic in the same way as race?

Would you also scream gender discrimination when a man prefers the company of a lady in his bedroom and has 'no men' scrawled on his profile?

You might feel that more sensitive wording could be used, but it's really because you're sour that you won't get to bang the petite blonde with 'BBC ONLY' in her subject line.

If I see I don't fit someone's preferences, or I think their profile is rude, I move on and find the next. Why waste my time thinking about someone I'm clearly not compatible with."

Gender isn't a protected characteristic. Sex is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?"

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gender isn't a protected characteristic. Sex is."

Noted, makes no difference to my point however. Age is also a protected characteristic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gender isn't a protected characteristic. Sex is.

Noted, makes no difference to my point however. Age is also a protected characteristic."

So many people conflate gender with sex - I thought it was worth a mention.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better. "

True. I am all for justice and equal treatment. But bringing that into people's sexual preferences is just silly. Throwing around the word racist like this will only make people take the issue less seriously.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better. "

I don't get that impression on this thread Outsider. I just feel and clearly others do, that disliking an entire race of people is a little more than preference and attraction. Whether people are prepared to acknowledge that or not. I challenge myself about age in the same way for what it's worth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's honestly crazy that this even needs discussing, let alone on a site like this.

No one can ever take away your freedom of association. For those bringing up discrimination, you must also realise that gender is a protected characteristic in the same way as race?

Would you also scream gender discrimination when a man prefers the company of a lady in his bedroom and has 'no men' scrawled on his profile?

You might feel that more sensitive wording could be used, but it's really because you're sour that you won't get to bang the petite blonde with 'BBC ONLY' in her subject line.

If I see I don't fit someone's preferences, or I think their profile is rude, I move on and find the next. Why waste my time thinking about someone I'm clearly not compatible with.

Gender isn't a protected characteristic. Sex is."

Protected characteristic means people must be open to have sex with them even if they don't like?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/02/22 20:06:07]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's honestly crazy that this even needs discussing, let alone on a site like this.

No one can ever take away your freedom of association. For those bringing up discrimination, you must also realise that gender is a protected characteristic in the same way as race?

Would you also scream gender discrimination when a man prefers the company of a lady in his bedroom and has 'no men' scrawled on his profile?

You might feel that more sensitive wording could be used, but it's really because you're sour that you won't get to bang the petite blonde with 'BBC ONLY' in her subject line.

If I see I don't fit someone's preferences, or I think their profile is rude, I move on and find the next. Why waste my time thinking about someone I'm clearly not compatible with.

Gender isn't a protected characteristic. Sex is.

Protected characteristic means people must be open to have sex with them even if they don't like?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not sure if 'disliking' is quite the right word. We're just talking about who we would like to share our most intimate moments in life with. I may well like someone but not want to have sex with them.

It's great that you challenge your potential prejudices, but I don't think everyone need do the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's great that you challenge your potential prejudices, but I don't think everyone need do the same."

Why shouldn't people challenge their prejudices?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's great that you challenge your potential prejudices, but I don't think everyone need do the same.

Why shouldn't people challenge their prejudices? "

He didn't say people shouldn't challenge prejudices. He said people needn't. They can if they want to. But they don't have to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why shouldn't people challenge their prejudices? "

Notice I used the word 'potential', because I don't believe that's what a preference necessarily is.

Sometimes I have the desire to have sex with a man, other times I don't. Does that mean I transition in and out of bigotry every few days?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race."

I haven't called anyone a name. And I don't think I've ever been on a more judgmental site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why shouldn't people challenge their prejudices?

Notice I used the word 'potential', because I don't believe that's what a preference necessarily is.

Sometimes I have the desire to have sex with a man, other times I don't. Does that mean I transition in and out of bigotry every few days?"

Of course - your point about potential prejudice is very valid. And I'd like to think more people would challenge their own potential prejudices. But of course no-one should be forced to do anything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race.

I haven't called anyone a name. And I don't think I've ever been on a more judgmental site. "

Calling someone a racist is calling names.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race.

I haven't called anyone a name. And I don't think I've ever been on a more judgmental site.

Calling someone a racist is calling names."

Show me where I did that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race.

I haven't called anyone a name. And I don't think I've ever been on a more judgmental site.

Calling someone a racist is calling names.

Show me where I did that. "

Isn't your view that people who have specific racial preferences on here are racists?

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

Blacks?

Blocks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference."

Lol

"I love tall girls!"

"You know I was born tall and there's nothing I can do about it, you pig."

I completely fail to understand the argument here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race.

I haven't called anyone a name. And I don't think I've ever been on a more judgmental site.

Calling someone a racist is calling names.

Show me where I did that.

Isn't your view that people who have specific racial preferences on here are racists?"

So you've found that I didn't in fact call anyone names.

I've said my view.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

See….. here is the thing

We all have a preference of some kind…. Or you would have sex with anyone…. Age, sex, tall, short, fat, thin, gay, straight, black, white……. And so on!!!

I don’t believe the person exists because we all draw a line somewhere….. people complain when that line drawn affects them!!!

I don’t really care how people express a preference or say it! Basically it tells me I am not what they want, the language just tells you much more about them!

And would you want to interact with them anyway, if the answer is still yes, that tells me more about you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race.

I haven't called anyone a name. And I don't think I've ever been on a more judgmental site.

Calling someone a racist is calling names.

Show me where I did that.

Isn't your view that people who have specific racial preferences on here are racists?

So you've found that I didn't in fact call anyone names.

I've said my view. "

What's the difference? If you write here that all people who do X are ****(fill some dirty word), anyone who actually did X reading that feel that you are calling them names.

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By *ittlechick77Couple over a year ago

Staines

There are many profiles stating there preference by colour of so.eones skin

As stated by many people I can not see how a whole group of people can be excluded by the the colour of there skin then say its not racism.

People are being ostracised stereo typed and isolated on the colour of the skin with no interaction or conversation.

That in a nutshell is racism.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are many profiles stating there preference by colour of so.eones skin

As stated by many people I can not see how a whole group of people can be excluded by the the colour of there skin then say its not racism.

People are being ostracised stereo typed and isolated on the colour of the skin with no interaction or conversation.

That in a nutshell is racism.

Whole group of people have been excluded in the name of height, sexuality and weight. Why not skin colour?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

Why do others even care? This is the site where you expect people to be least judgemental. And here we are, calling people names because they have will meet only or not meet a specific race.

I haven't called anyone a name. And I don't think I've ever been on a more judgmental site.

Calling someone a racist is calling names.

Show me where I did that.

Isn't your view that people who have specific racial preferences on here are racists?

So you've found that I didn't in fact call anyone names.

I've said my view.

What's the difference? If you write here that all people who do X are ****(fill some dirty word), anyone who actually did X reading that feel that you are calling them names.

Are you speaking for everyone now? You're now trying to twist my words. Don't do that. I've been thoughtful and respectful on this thread. I haven't attacked anyone and i haven't called anyone names nor used a dirty word. I have a different opinion to yours. That is all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was younger I uses to refer myself as BBC and all that before I realised what I was really doing. Yeah I'm not really here for all that bullshit really, I'm a man I'm much more than a penis.

Also never understood people who don't date their race. Meaning white girls that only fuck black guys, some black girl that's only fuck with white guys. Asian women and only white men etc...doesn't compute with me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

I'm not attracted to whole groups of people. I could be called sizeist, ageist, sexist, heightist racist etc etc. I don't know why I'm attracted to X but not Y. So I won't challenge it. I'm not harming anyone by not having sex with them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I was younger I uses to refer myself as BBC and all that before I realised what I was really doing. Yeah I'm not really here for all that bullshit really, I'm a man I'm much more than a penis.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"See….. here is the thing

We all have a preference of some kind…. Or you would have sex with anyone…. Age, sex, tall, short, fat, thin, gay, straight, black, white……. And so on!!!

I don’t believe the person exists because we all draw a line somewhere….. people complain when that line drawn affects them!!!

I don’t really care how people express a preference or say it! Basically it tells me I am not what they want, the language just tells you much more about them!

And would you want to interact with them anyway, if the answer is still yes, that tells me more about you!

I'm ok reading rants and negativity on profiles because it means I don't have to waste any time on them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I was younger I uses to refer myself as BBC and all that before I realised what I was really doing. Yeah I'm not really here for all that bullshit really, I'm a man I'm much more than a penis.

Thank you love

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if it was someone messaging a large woman and they said they 'love large girls'?

Sizeist?

It depends. Was she born large? Can she change her degree of largeness? Has she been denied something because of her size? There is a difference.

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

I think some people just love to ignore preferences and attraction, and just get entitled butthurt. Throwing around -ist labels to make themselves feel better.

I'm sure you've had messages suggesting that you're harming people by not having sex with them though?!

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?"

These are false equivalents. But you probably know that.

To discriminate based on the colour of skin is racist. It can be positive or negative discrimination, of course.

When someone says ‘I love black girls’ what they really mean is ‘I’ve had one or more relationships with a woman of colour that was good’. But when the specific is generalised, you begin to have a problem. For example… all black guys are VWE, or sexually potent: spoiler… they’re not.

I’m not judging here: but let’s not be under any illusions about what this is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

These are false equivalents. But you probably know that.

To discriminate based on the colour of skin is racist. It can be positive or negative discrimination, of course.

I’m not judging here: but let’s not be under any illusions about what this is.

They are not false equivalence at all. Height is a physical trait. So is weight. So is skin colour. There could be plenty of reasons why someone wants to have sex with a specific skik colour. Racism could indeed be one of them. But it is lazy and arrogant to judge someone as racist just because they are physically attracted to a specific skin colour.

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By *unloversCouple over a year ago

rotherham

Wow what’s all the fuss about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

These are false equivalents. But you probably know that.

To discriminate based on the colour of skin is racist. It can be positive or negative discrimination, of course.

I’m not judging here: but let’s not be under any illusions about what this is.

Now you're calling people names....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

These are false equivalents. But you probably know that.

To discriminate based on the colour of skin is racist. It can be positive or negative discrimination, of course.

I’m not judging here: but let’s not be under any illusions about what this is.

Now you're calling people names...."

Of course I do. I have no qualms admitting it.

I mostly look at female and couple profiles here. I have seen all permutations and combinations of ethnicities of the profiles and ethnicities they are looking for. I have met women who openly told me that they are not attracted to Asian men romantically but have always been friendly and respectful to me.

Truth is this goes much deeper than racism. If someone doesn't understand the reason behind it, they can actually talk with people and try to understand. Do some research. If they are too lazy to do it, that's fine too. Not everyone has the time. In that case, they should just admit that they don't understand it and move on. In the end, it's an individual preference and no one is affected by it.

But jumping into a conclusion without trying to understand people and calling them racist is lazy and arrogant.

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By *iman2100Man over a year ago

Glasgow

If you remove all the Laws aimed at protecting races and minorities you go back to days when the sign over the doors of B&B houses read "No Blacks, No Irish and No dogs" How many on here would support that expression of 'preference'?

History and the maturing of society has brought about laws to prevent unfair discrimination. How far they extend to sites such as Fab is yet to be decided but, as with the likes of facepage and Shitter etc., the Law is already encroaching into the wild west of social media and it will start to dictate what is and is not ok when expressing preferences.

What it WILL NOT do is force someone who does not wish to meet white men to have sex with them. All they would have to do is say no; which is Legal.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

"If you remove all the Laws aimed at protecting races and minorities you go back to days when the sign over the doors of B&B houses read "No Blacks, No Irish and No dogs" How many on here would support that expression of 'preference'?

You might be surprised how many because I have found this sentiment on here so it does still exist.

I'm not black but I am Irish and I'm old enough to remember the signs you are talking about. They didn't affect me directly at the time as I wasn't looking for digs but they did influence what parts of England family members eventually settled in.

I've had anti Irish comments made to me in private messages and snide remarks in the forums so apparently xenophobia is still a thing on here.

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

"But jumping into a conclusion without trying to understand people and calling them racist is lazy and arrogant. "

As I said before… I am not judging. And certainly not in the way your pejorative argument seems to do.

Personal preferences have long been the tool of racism: there is no difference here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How about height? Or if a guy says he is heterosexual but won't meet transwomen?

These are false equivalents. But you probably know that.

To discriminate based on the colour of skin is racist. It can be positive or negative discrimination, of course.

I’m not judging here: but let’s not be under any illusions about what this is.

Now you're calling people names....

Of course I do. I have no qualms admitting it.

But jumping into a conclusion without trying to understand people and calling them racist is lazy and arrogant. "

But I haven't done that. And actually the person who is most aggressive with language on the thread is...you.

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

"They are not false equivalence at all. Height is a physical trait. So is weight. So is skin colour. There could be plenty of reasons why someone wants to have sex with a specific skik colour. Racism could indeed be one of them. But it is lazy and arrogant to judge someone as racist just because they are physically attracted to a specific skin colour."

Forgive me, but you are making the classic error of false equivalence. Just because these are all physical traits, it does not mean they are equable.

Has a person ever been shot in the back because they are shorter than most? Or pulled over by police? Or denied access to a water fountain? Or lynched? I don't wish to seem dramatic here, but I'm sure you see the point. I've seen first hand that certain prejudices exist for shorter people (my mother was 4'10") but honestly, the social and political contexts are entirely different.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Preference is one thing. Can often be racist but I won’t die on the hill that it always is. Exclusion is another thing imo. Finding an entire race of people unattractive or a person unattractive because of their race will almost undoubtedly be down to racism. Whether you feel that this makes them a racist is up to you. People that are not racist, can do racist things or reproduce racism or racist myths. You know?

Anyway, is whether it makes them a racist in this instance actually important here? I think when we discuss race it is important to identify racists, of course, but I think more important is actually to interrogate, challenge and hopefully encourage unlearning racism and racist thought processes and behaviours.

My experience on fab has taught me that when it comes to sexual racism, I don’t think it is a discussion that many engage in with the intention of learning- it is what it is- but I think it should be a conversation had with an open mind if it’s to be any good.

We have veered off the topic of the post I feel but to bring it back, this year I hope we stop referring to Black people as ‘Blacks’.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/02/22 10:27:22]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Forgive me, but you are making the classic error of false equivalence. Just because these are all physical traits, it does not mean they are equable.

Great point. I think conversations about race deliberately ignore the historical meaning attached to skin colour (and the historical and present day consequences of that) and then compare it to things like weight or hair colour or being bald. Fab, eh?

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By *iman2100Man over a year ago

Glasgow

You might be surprised how many because I have found this sentiment on here so it does still exist.

I've had anti Irish comments made to me in private messages and snide remarks in the forums so apparently xenophobia is still a thing on here. "

Sadly it does still exist. I wonder sometimes if it is hard wired into humanity to mistrust those who are not the same as you?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Preference is one thing. Can often be racist but I won’t die on the hill that it always is. Exclusion is another thing imo. Finding an entire race of people unattractive or a person unattractive because of their race will almost undoubtedly be down to racism. Whether you feel that this makes them a racist is up to you. People that are not racist, can do racist things or reproduce racism or racist myths. You know?

We have veered off the topic of the post I feel but to bring it back, this year I hope we stop referring to Black people as ‘Blacks’. "

A very thoughtful post.

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By *jorkishMan over a year ago

Seaforth

We have veered off the topic of the post I feel but to bring it back, this year I hope we stop referring to Black people as ‘Blacks’. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have veered off the topic of the post I feel but to bring it back, this year I hope we stop referring to Black people as ‘Blacks’. "

So how do people 'challenge their racism' of not being attracted to some groups of people?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wonder if putting 'whites only' would be offensive?

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

So how do people 'challenge their racism' of not being attracted to some groups of people?

Can I ask… do you find ALL Caucasians attractive, regardless of weight, height and social background?

If the answer is ‘No’ then perhaps the qualities you find attractive are not dependent on the colour of their skin?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So how do people 'challenge their racism' of not being attracted to some groups of people?

I feel like asking someone to change this is very difficult but you can definitely challenge where your ideas about an entire racial group might have come from and how and why they’ve been reproduced.

I personally have always found all races attractive but I know some people have looked at what it is they’re defining as specific to entire races that they don’t like? And exploring where some of the ideas/myths they might have believed about entire races have come from and recognising them to be myths. Maybe considering the ways that beauty has been defined historically, and who by? I think the same is the case for looking at whether you’re fetishising an entire race in many ways tbh.

Generally I am just an advocate of challenging dominant thought processes or processes in general that reproduce dominance. Whether that be to do with gender or class or in this case race. Actually unlearning it as more difficult because as a favourite sociologist of mine said- ‘it’s stronger than I’ but we can do our best, I believe. And all we can do is our best (in my opinion obvs).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I read a lot of profiles, males, females and couples. I have never seen the "no blacks, Asians etc" on a single man's profile, only twice on couple's profiles and many times on single women's profiles. I find this interesting.

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By *oufouCouple over a year ago

Somerset

So how do people 'challenge their racism' of not being attracted to some groups of people?

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By *ab_indianMan over a year ago

high Wycombe

In the same way a lot of profiles say no Asian, I’m not at all offended. Everyone has a right to a preference, if I don’t fit it that’s fine there are plenty of profiles on here I do match with

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So how do people 'challenge their racism' of not being attracted to some groups of people?

It feels like conversion therapy.

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