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By *hoir OP Couple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
Apologies to anyone that finds this a bit triggering first and foremost.
So a few months back we were talking to a couple from here, met them for a social and while the lady was lovely I got a very off vibe from the fella. Fast forward to now ish and that couple has gone rather pear shaped, turns out the guy was a cheating scumbag behind the missus back.
To make a long story short this guy also got a bit obsessive about me (fem) or so we have been told. He would routinely message us with a hello or something a lot more lewd, very specifically towards me and because his lady wasn't messaging as well we didn't engage.
I suppose I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this to be honest. I'm an anxious person and I have seen the damage that can happen in these scenarios, how do you learn to trust again after you learn something like this? Is it likely to amount to nothing? Has anyone else experienced this from here if you don't mind telling me about it?
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't worry too much. I doubt you're the only one he's been lewd and strange with since he was cheating in his partner.
Block, ignore and maybe hide your profile until you're feeling a little better about the situation.
You can learn a lesson for the future from this experience. Always trust your gut instinct and never give away personal information until you're sure about the situation you're in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologies to anyone that finds this a bit triggering first and foremost.
So a few months back we were talking to a couple from here, met them for a social and while the lady was lovely I got a very off vibe from the fella. Fast forward to now ish and that couple has gone rather pear shaped, turns out the guy was a cheating scumbag behind the missus back.
To make a long story short this guy also got a bit obsessive about me (fem) or so we have been told. He would routinely message us with a hello or something a lot more lewd, very specifically towards me and because his lady wasn't messaging as well we didn't engage.
I suppose I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this to be honest. I'm an anxious person and I have seen the damage that can happen in these scenarios, how do you learn to trust again after you learn something like this? Is it likely to amount to nothing? Has anyone else experienced this from here if you don't mind telling me about it?
P"
Take it with a pinch of salt
You aren’t responsible for them or their relationship
If he was a bit obsessive send him a message telling him you aren’t interested and why he’s now blocked
Block him
If he recontacts say you will report to admin here and the Police for harassment
Talk to your partner and work through the anxiety
Move on xx |
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I’ve been in a situation recently that isn’t the same but has left me feeling anxious.
As it hasn’t escalated then I’d say to just block and try not to dwell on it too much. There are lots of decent men (and women) out there so try not to concentrate on the few bad ones. |
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By *hoir OP Couple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
He's now been blocked on every platform he could contact us on. I think being ill (manflu) has made my already overactive anxiety kick it up another notch.
Thanks all
P |
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Yes
The guy was crazy
We didn't block him for a long while but did ignite his messages, only reason we didn't block immeadiately is he'd hd already gone crazy and accused us of blocking him on here (before we realised he was odd) only for him later to admit oh you're on my blocked list no idea how that happened (the couple had private & couples profiles)
We after another couple of odd conversations and them texting us to tell us, they were on the way to a club to meet us (we were regulars and mentioned before the above conversation we were going on a certain night) then not turning up, hearing nothing from them from them for 4 days then him messaging me personally saying why were we ignoring them & why was I personally trying to sabotage the friendship, so I copied the conversation saying presume this should have gone to the group, I've no idea what you are talking about but this friendship is obviously not working so let's leave it here, lots more abuse, the woman apologising but luckily that was more or less the end of it
If you think he could be a threat danger in any way report him, otherwise block or ignore his messages |
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hopefully you’ll have better luck next time 