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Festival dos and donts
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The festival life has never intrigued me, as I enjoy live music but found the music distorted from huge speakers. So admittedly have never been to one where camping is involved. But I have been invited on a stag to a festival where camping is involved. Tents are provided I believe as it is organised by someone else.
So does anyone have any tips for survival at a festival?
I have heard horror stories about portaloos and don’t fancy encounters with them. |
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By *omCoyoteMan
over a year ago
Northern England |
"The festival life has never intrigued me, as I enjoy live music but found the music distorted from huge speakers. So admittedly have never been to one where camping is involved. But I have been invited on a stag to a festival where camping is involved. Tents are provided I believe as it is organised by someone else.
So does anyone have any tips for survival at a festival?
I have heard horror stories about portaloos and don’t fancy encounters with them. "
Just two words - "Baby Wipes"  |
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By *j84Man
over a year ago
Stevenage |
They’re amazing places!!
The variety of people in one place all for the music and good times.
Wet wipes, bottled water, enquire about upgrading to luxury toilet/shower facilities, worth every penny.
Talk to as many people as you can and enjoy it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't wear wellies.
If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.
Don't wear wellies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's Glastonbury, don't make plans to see 7 bands on 6 stages in one day...a) it won't happen b) you'll be fucked and c) you'll have a shit day and wish you hadn't tried. |
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Find where the nearest Hilton is, book in for the duration and get driven back and forth; take a dump before you leave the hotel as the portaloos will make you gag. Piss in the bushes if possible. The tent might come in useful if you get lucky. Sneak you're own vodka in if poss, down the underpants is a safe bet from searches. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).
Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.
"
An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.
A piece of tarpaulin to sit on. |
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Wellies, bum wipes and a disposable poncho (but please use it every day not one a day)
And here’s my biggest advice.
Take a bottle to have a wee in in the morning, best bet is a fabric conditioner bottle (large opening so your not having to aim in to the neck of a bottle) that way you don’t have to get dressed and queue up for 30 mins.
I’m a 30 year and 18 Glastonbury veteran |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Glastonbury is the both the best and worst I have ever experienced in one weekend. Great music choice, good laugh, high wanker numbers and stool piles (balance and prayers required).
However, Download/Donington are consistently great, lovely crowd, depending on who your with bring a big blow up tent. Try and pitch against fence, easier to find when off your face. |
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Decent boots you don't mind getting muddy, I wear army boots as more comfy than wellies.
Hip flask of whiskey down your crotch.
Go for a shit at 6am.
Bring your own toilet roll and wipes.
Sleep with your wallet in your sock. |
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Toilet roll. Baby wipes. Lots of clean socks. Comfortable shoes you don’t mind getting ruined. Sun cream. Foil blanket (to put in bottom of sleeping bag around feet if cold at night). Most importantly, don’t over pack! You will mostly have to walk a good distance before you set up camp! |
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"Don't wear wellies.
If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.
Don't wear wellies."
I've done at least 20 festivals and never had a issue with wellies, do always wear decent socks with them & have never had to wear them for the whole weekend, so babybe that helps |
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You'll have a great time
Which festival are you going to
You can sometimes buy passes for posh loos
As others have said, loo roll, baby wipes, portable charger for your phone, wellies because it always rains
Oh I wanna go to a festival, I miss dancing to live music in a muddy field |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pay for the luxury showers / toilets.
Other than that, they say baby wipes or whatever, but I’ve coped fine without.
Just clothes and one decent, comfortable walking pair of footwear that you’re happy getting wrecked 
And just enjoy the ride!
Hip flasks are optional, but generally beer isn’t that crazy priced at any festival I’ve been too. |
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"Pay for the luxury showers / toilets.
Other than that, they say baby wipes or whatever, but I’ve coped fine without.
Just clothes and one decent, comfortable walking pair of footwear that you’re happy getting wrecked
And just enjoy the ride!
Hip flasks are optional, but generally beer isn’t that crazy priced at any festival I’ve been too. "
Hip flasks are handy when you've nailed your beer, are in the crowd, band are still playing and you don't want to go queue for a beer yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't wear wellies.
If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.
Don't wear wellies.
I've done at least 20 festivals and never had a issue with wellies, do always wear decent socks with them & have never had to wear them for the whole weekend, so babybe that helps "
Probably me, I just hate wearing wellies. I end up having to gaffer tape my legs where they bite! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The festival life has never intrigued me, as I enjoy live music but found the music distorted from huge speakers. So admittedly have never been to one where camping is involved. But I have been invited on a stag to a festival where camping is involved. Tents are provided I believe as it is organised by someone else.
So does anyone have any tips for survival at a festival?
I have heard horror stories about portaloos and don’t fancy encounters with them. "
Only been the once. The cost of the ‘glam tent’ was money well spent - unless you fancy some pissed up shdoodent or hippie having a dump at the door of your tent at 4am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I've ever had a shower at a festival. There have been years where I haven't had a wash, other than to flatten my hair down so I could get an alice band in, and clean my teeth.
One year at Glastonbury I wore the same shorts for 6 days (including sleeping in them) and just changed my t-shirt every day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get up early to use the toilet as they are normally cleaned at night
Only leave in the tent what you can afford to have stolen
Keep spare clothes in your car
Don’t take the Brown Acid |
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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago
local, but not too local |
"Only been the once. The cost of the ‘glam tent’ was money well spent - unless you fancy some pissed up shdoodent or hippie having a dump at the door of your tent at 4am. "
The one and only time I went someone fell over our tent in the night, the fly sheet loosened, there was a thunderstorm, and awoken just the inner tent in 2” of water soaked and hypothermic. Then got robbed at knifepoint at the station on the way home.
Actually, that’s a lie, I also went to one for a day and didn’t camp and it was great. |
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"I don't think I've ever had a shower at a festival. There have been years where I haven't had a wash, other than to flatten my hair down so I could get an alice band in, and clean my teeth.
One year at Glastonbury I wore the same shorts for 6 days (including sleeping in them) and just changed my t-shirt every day. "
That's what the baby wipes are for aren't they?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think I've ever had a shower at a festival. There have been years where I haven't had a wash, other than to flatten my hair down so I could get an alice band in, and clean my teeth.
One year at Glastonbury I wore the same shorts for 6 days (including sleeping in them) and just changed my t-shirt every day.
That's what the baby wipes are for aren't they?! "
Indeed |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Don't wear wellies.
If it's going to be wet, wear good walking boots and gaitors and if it's going to be dry wear good walking boots or decent trainers.
Don't wear wellies."
Omg yes, your feet, back and knees will thank you...
Even bad hiking boots are better than wellies |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
Don't think I've ever heard distorted sound at a festival, even smaller ones without the high end kit. There are issues with wind causing a drop on volume on occasion but that's it.
If you can get them to go VIP camping it's worth it (although of you're paying other people to put up your tents that's often VIP).
Get there early to get a good camping spot, flat but not too close to the toilets.
If you can't do VIP camping, most festivals have a separate VIP toilet pass... That's worth it.
Most festivals don't allow you to take in alcohol and now have metal detectors which pick up hip flasks. Either one of those plastic collapsible water pouches or Google how to remove water bottle tops with the seal still intact, and take plastic water bottles filled with vodka (or other clear spirit).
Take a double hight airbed, a proper pillow, a duvet and a blanket |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).
Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.
An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.
A piece of tarpaulin to sit on."
The image of the loos this gives is so funny. Im guessing the floor squelches |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).
Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.
An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.
A piece of tarpaulin to sit on.
The image of the loos this gives is so funny. Im guessing the floor squelches"
Some festivals aren't so bad now. The ones with compost toilets particularly, they don't smell and they don't seem to attract the 'shut up the wallers' like long-drops and portaloos do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Vodka, squeezy concentrated squash and two water bottles (one for the vodka, the other for the mixing).
Focus on not needing a poo - mind over matter.
An 'S' clip to hang over the loo door, so you can hang up your coat and man bag.
A piece of tarpaulin to sit on.
The image of the loos this gives is so funny. Im guessing the floor squelches
Some festivals aren't so bad now. The ones with compost toilets particularly, they don't smell and they don't seem to attract the 'shut up the wallers' like long-drops and portaloos do."
'shit up the wallers', even! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Despite everything I've said, I absolutely love festivals, I've had some of the best times of my life at them, both working (as a photographer) and as a paying punter.
I've very rarely seen any serious trouble other than at the old V Festivals and at Reading/Leeds...both of which don't allow booze into the arenas so you get a bunch of kids that have just finished their A Levels getting pissed as twats before heading in, which is a recipe for disaster both before during and after the bands come on.
Best festival in the known universe?
2000 Trees in Cheltenham, where you can watch everyone's favourite bands before they become everyone's favourite bands! I have photos of Wolf Alice and the 1975 from there before they'd even released their debut albums. |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Depending on where you are going advice will vary.
I've been to a fair few Downloads. I never camp there - at all! I prefer to sleep in my own bed rather than camp. Get a parking pass & drive there. Sorted!
I've heard horror stories of people pissing on tents & shitting not where they are supposed to.....Yuck! So, I avoid all that shit (ahem), pardon the pun & make my own way there.  |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
Also, forgot this pearl of wisdom:
Have a shit at your home, B&B, hotel. Then you don't have to negotiate that horrible porta loo & the feeling whilst you are about to do the doody of retching/feeling sick/being sick as well.
Just the horrible urinals.....   |
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