FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bareback. Would you do it?
Bareback. Would you do it?
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So. Got chatting to a nice guy. Both attracted to each other, lots in common, etc. Made arrangements to meet up in a few days. Dinner, drinks and the possibility of playing.
Then. We had the talk about protection. I assumed we'd use condoms, being all responsible and that. He eschewed this as he "was clean" and could give me his sexual history. I said that sadly, some people lie, so I'd prefer to be use condoms. He became offended & that was the end of the conversation.
I'm fine with it & will just move on.
But, how many of you would insist on bareback only? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hugs op
Throw him away
If someone wants safe then that’s totally perfect by me
As I 99% off the time are as well
And why I say 99%
Is there’s that odd 1% off the time we get d*unk and wake up somewhere to realise that you haven’t been
We all been there at some point in life |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I'd do what you did. Bareback is something I indulge in in a very specific one on one situation with a very specific person at a very specific time.
More power to the elbow of anyone who rocks on without a cocksock on, but it's not for me. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I don’t understand why people would want to take the risks … sounds like a lucky escape for you "
That's one step away from saying his loss.  It's a lucky escape for both parties (as delightful as Red can be) - having that chat means they can both find people who do things more their way. |
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"I don’t understand why people would want to take the risks … sounds like a lucky escape for you
That's one step away from saying his loss. It's a lucky escape for both parties (as delightful as Red can be) - having that chat means they can both find people who do things more their way."
Exactly so, Meli.
It's a sensible discussion to have prior to that in the heat of the moment scenario. X |
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How weird to go through the process of chatting to someone, getting to know them, what they like/dislike and arrange a meetup.
Only to back out at the last second because you don't want to use a condom  |
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"I only play bareback & would turn down a meet if they insisted on condoms
But I'm clear on that before we get to arranging a meet & I don't engage in conversations if the profile says safe"
I get that, totally your choice & you're upfront about it.  x |
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"How weird to go through the process of chatting to someone, getting to know them, what they like/dislike and arrange a meetup.
Only to back out at the last second because you don't want to use a condom "
Folk are weird, I guess? X |
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STIs have incubation periods and some aren't routinely tested for or the tests aren't reliable. Being offended is annoying because the truth is he actually can't guarantee he is zero risk to someone. Sex is always a calculated risk. Different people assess that risk and make different choices and we should respect that as long as everyone is honest with each other and accepts that people are allowed to say no to things they personally consider a risk they aren't comfortable with.
Personally outside of assault I have only had unprotected sex with a couple of long term partners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're lucky you'll only get pregnant
 imagine !
I know 
I ignored this, Mary, as at my age that just ain't a consideration "
For me it’s my biggest nightmare! 
No thank you! Cover up or move on ! |
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"STIs have incubation periods and some aren't routinely tested for or the tests aren't reliable. Being offended is annoying because the truth is he actually can't guarantee he is zero risk to someone. Sex is always a calculated risk. Different people assess that risk and make different choices and we should respect that as long as everyone is honest with each other and accepts that people are allowed to say no to things they personally consider a risk they aren't comfortable with.
Personally outside of assault I have only had unprotected sex with a couple of long term partners. "
So true, Lacey. Thank you.  |
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"If you're lucky you'll only get pregnant
imagine !
I know
I ignored this, Mary, as at my age that just ain't a consideration
For me it’s my biggest nightmare!
No thank you! Cover up or move on ! "
For me, too, in my childbearing years! X |
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"Would only go bareback with a longer term partner than just straight off. Condoms aren't the nicest but the consequences without are a lot worse "
Exactly. Of course it's better condoms, but it just ain't worth the risk. Especially with the health condition I have, that ALREADY limits my immune system x |
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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago
shropshire |
"So. Got chatting to a nice guy. Both attracted to each other, lots in common, etc. Made arrangements to meet up in a few days. Dinner, drinks and the possibility of playing.
Then. We had the talk about protection. I assumed we'd use condoms, being all responsible and that. He eschewed this as he "was clean" and could give me his sexual history. I said that sadly, some people lie, so I'd prefer to be use condoms. He became offended & that was the end of the conversation.
I'm fine with it & will just move on.
But, how many of you would insist on bareback only? "
No way! Condoms or don't let the door hit you on the way out!!
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"So. Got chatting to a nice guy. Both attracted to each other, lots in common, etc. Made arrangements to meet up in a few days. Dinner, drinks and the possibility of playing.
Then. We had the talk about protection. I assumed we'd use condoms, being all responsible and that. He eschewed this as he "was clean" and could give me his sexual history. I said that sadly, some people lie, so I'd prefer to be use condoms. He became offended & that was the end of the conversation.
I'm fine with it & will just move on.
But, how many of you would insist on bareback only? "
Too risky even if you have a Sti test. They don’t pick up hpv or herpes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're absolutely in the right. You can't believe anyone just because they say they're safe.
Obviously respect everyone's opinion but bareback would only between me and my partner. |
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By *loudF7Man
over a year ago
South East |
I always use protection, with any first time meets. The times were I haven't it's been with playmates that I've known for a long time and respect and trust, as well as getting regular tests done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We respect if this is their preference and they are upfront about it. But it’s a No from us. Like lady said earlier we will be paranoid and keep going back to clinic until it’s all clear. Great sex doesn’t have to be risky sex. Stay safe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With new partners, no rubber, no rub! Different if after some time we have that irresistible WOW factor, then each can be tested before immersing ourselves in one another."
Agree with this 100% |
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"So. Got chatting to a nice guy. Both attracted to each other, lots in common, etc. Made arrangements to meet up in a few days. Dinner, drinks and the possibility of playing.
Then. We had the talk about protection. I assumed we'd use condoms, being all responsible and that. He eschewed this as he "was clean" and could give me his sexual history. I said that sadly, some people lie, so I'd prefer to be use condoms. He became offended & that was the end of the conversation.
I'm fine with it & will just move on.
But, how many of you would insist on bareback only?
Too risky even if you have a Sti test. They don’t pick up hpv or herpes"
Or trichomoniasis |
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I love bareback, it’s the best but I wouldn’t do it with someone who I’m not in a long term relationship with. 2 minutes of sausage poking is not worth the risk of disease and pregnancy.
And if someone can’t respect that, I’d rather they piss off! |
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It's on my profile and isn't something I will negotiate on, I'm very clear about it up-front.
If that filters out some guys who want to go bareback that's fine, better they find someone more compatible on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I have, and yes I do, but not always and not with everyone. I talked for a long time first before meeting and worked on trust, from both sides. So far I have been a good judge of character  So much easier with someone you already know and meet though. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
We met a couple on our joint couple profile, went to a club and got down to playing. They wanted us to go bare, said no chance, it had never been discussed with them etc. I'd only go bare with my partner, wouldn't trust anyone else with my health. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How weird to go through the process of chatting to someone, getting to know them, what they like/dislike and arrange a meetup.
Only to back out at the last second because you don't want to use a condom "
People can say no at any point. Good to know that you don't respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always been of the mind that if they're not worried about condoms, screening and stuff with you. Then they aren't with anyone else and that makes them dangerous. |
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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago
shropshire |
It's not just penertration you can catch a sti either.you can with oral too
he was condoned up
But oral still caught a sti thankfully antibiotics cleared it up but its made us even more careful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always been of the mind that if they're not worried about condoms, screening and stuff with you. Then they aren't with anyone else and that makes them dangerous. "
You took the words out of my fingers. It surprises me sometimes how many people seem to not give it a second thought.
I was about to say similar to what NotSoPosh and others have said and add your comment on to that.
For me, as much as I see the appeal of the freedom and 'kink' of bareback sex, it's condoms all the way in a casual environment. Especially if one or both of you are having sex with others. Who, in turn, will likely be having sex with other... and so on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have done in the past and there is a reason I do not now. More fool me but sometimes we do stupid things when uneducated. Do not believe anyone who says they are clean unless you see their results from a STI test. Majority of adults who have an STI have no symptoms and believe they are clean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, my healths more important than a shag, i never ever used one until i saw some of the posts on fab then it really dawned on me how loose people are with sexual health.
I only go bareback with a exclusive trusted person.... i havnt the time for knob warts and that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Condoms always... Unless you’re embarking on an exclusive relationship. "
Does that happen though if your both got separate accounts? It's a lot of trust on both parts then... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Condoms always... Unless you’re embarking on an exclusive relationship.
Does that happen though if your both got separate accounts? It's a lot of trust on both parts then... "
Deeper than trust... is really connecting with another Soul. When that connection is there, trust comes naturally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope, my healths more important than a shag, i never ever used one until i saw some of the posts on fab then it really dawned on me how loose people are with sexual health. "
The surprise for me was the number of single profiles with condom-less photos. Not a judgement in any way - people have to make that call themselves. I was just surprised. I just didn't think it was so common. |
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Singles are usually very safe on here ..
But couples are totally different..
Couples that want a bull type character like myself often want you to cum in the lady for their guy to clean up or have sloppy seconds with later ..
It baffles me that you’d risk the health of the person your supposed to love most in the world.. |
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Condom ALWAYS!!..
Even in my younger days and totally d*unk I always wore 1.
Mid d*unken session once a woman pulled it off wanting bareback! I stopped and said either I put another on & we carry on or I’m up & out of here… think she thought I wouldn’t. So I got dressed and left.
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So again i find the bairback thread. My personal thorts hear as yes i do whair condoms but if you have oral fun with a guy with out a condom are u immune from any sti same as if you go down on a lady if she had an sti with no signs of an infection but then have full sex with a condom dose that mean when you ate hur lady garden you wont of caught owt. chlamydia has next to no symptoms for a start off. |
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"No, I'm far too paranoid and it would spoil my enjoyment. "
This ^^^ for me.
To be honest, the only time I have had sex without a condom was when my wife and I were actively trying for a baby, and if I’m absolutely honest I genuinely prefer sex with a condom to without.
I realise I am possibly the only man on the planet that feels that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldnt try to persuade someone. Just seems a bit creepy.
Now I’m
Thinking what if std tests were put up on the internet so people could check, like an MOT. You should have asked him for his log book and full cervix history |
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"I wouldnt try to persuade someone. Just seems a bit creepy.
Now I’m
Thinking what if std tests were put up on the internet so people could check, like an MOT. You should have asked him for his log book and full cervix history "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldnt try to persuade someone. Just seems a bit creepy.
Now I’m
Thinking what if std tests were put up on the internet so people could check, like an MOT. You should have asked him for his log book and full cervix history "
Snorting at 'cervix history'. Genius |
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"I only play bareback & would turn down a meet if they insisted on condoms
But I'm clear on that before we get to arranging a meet & I don't engage in conversations if the profile says safe"
Likewise |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"I only play bareback & would turn down a meet if they insisted on condoms
But I'm clear on that before we get to arranging a meet & I don't engage in conversations if the profile says safe
Likewise "
Maybe why you don’t get meets then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It kinda works both ways for me, it’s only bareback with my Fwb, but that goes for both of us.
We have that connection and trust.
With anyone else we meet it’s protection all the way.
That’s not to everyone’s liking but I’m always honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Protection first and foremost for me, only when something progresses to regular might bareback be considered although I’m clean, tested and had the old snip I like to stay infection free  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Condoms always... Unless you’re embarking on an exclusive relationship.
No matter how exclusive, if you met on a swingers site, isn’t that risky ??"
What does that mean? No-one on this site can be trusted? |
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"Condoms always... Unless you’re embarking on an exclusive relationship.
No matter how exclusive, if you met on a swingers site, isn’t that risky ??
What does that mean? No-one on this site can be trusted?"
I don’t think it’s about trust. It’s about self preservation and certainty. Engaging with multiple partners increases risk. Even if you’re selective and careful, it only takes one person down the line to upset that… It’s like the degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon…  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Condoms always... Unless you’re embarking on an exclusive relationship.
No matter how exclusive, if you met on a swingers site, isn’t that risky ??
What does that mean? No-one on this site can be trusted?
I don’t think it’s about trust. It’s about self preservation and certainty. Engaging with multiple partners increases risk. Even if you’re selective and careful, it only takes one person down the line to upset that… It’s like the degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon… "
An exclusive relationship means NO other partners. He was suggesting that meeting someone here - they still can't be trusted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never with out I had one other eve saying he can't wear them! I said I wouldn't meet then he got quite offended bizarre x"
Feel for you. This happened to me a few times when I was looking for a FWB. So disappointing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was about to set off to meet someone in a hotel after talking for a month. Had previously said he didn't like condoms and I said tough. He then messaged an hour before to negotiate again. Seemed very put out that I didn't change my mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would only consider it if it was someone I was seeing long term and each of us only played with each other but that's a big if.
We've had a few meets where we've had to provide the condoms, single men and couples.
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of guys have offered me bareback but I always refuse. Some guys just like that though..
but I see it as if they are willing to bareback you who else are they doing that too.. yuckkk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clearly the guy is an amateur or he was looking fir a way out.
I mean why bring up the subject in a text chat?
We all know that once you like each other, had a few drinks and end up legless naked in bed, noone is gonna be looking for the condoms.
You’ll be fucking bareback all night.
Especially at 54 with no pregnancy worries…
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At least you had the conversation and he was honest which meant you could both move on
We’ve lost count of the guys that agree to condoms then when play happens the sight of a condom is an instant lose erection moment. One guy even said ‘he gets shy at the sight of a condom’ I’d rather know before hand than end up with wasting time and money on a hotel room! |
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"Clearly the guy is an amateur or he was looking fir a way out.
I mean why bring up the subject in a text chat?
We all know that once you like each other, had a few drinks and end up legless naked in bed, noone is gonna be looking for the condoms.
You’ll be fucking bareback all night.
Especially at 54 with no pregnancy worries…
"
I very much doubt it! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never go bareback playing. If they want to bareback you theyre barebacking every one they meet. Even if they test after every encounter most std, sti and hiv take a few weeks to show in your blood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So. Got chatting to a nice guy. Both attracted to each other, lots in common, etc. Made arrangements to meet up in a few days. Dinner, drinks and the possibility of playing.
Then. We had the talk about protection. I assumed we'd use condoms, being all responsible and that. He eschewed this as he "was clean" and could give me his sexual history. I said that sadly, some people lie, so I'd prefer to be use condoms. He became offended & that was the end of the conversation.
I'm fine with it & will just move on.
But, how many of you would insist on bareback only? "
the way I put it, if we don't know each other well then protection is a must. I enjoy no condom but if there's any worry between both parties it's a must. Protection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It requires an extremely high level of skill, coordination and balance as you don’t have any equipment to compensate for errors.
I much prefer the use of a saddle myself. |
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"So. Got chatting to a nice guy. Both attracted to each other, lots in common, etc. Made arrangements to meet up in a few days. Dinner, drinks and the possibility of playing.
Then. We had the talk about protection. I assumed we'd use condoms, being all responsible and that. He eschewed this as he "was clean" and could give me his sexual history. I said that sadly, some people lie, so I'd prefer to be use condoms. He became offended & that was the end of the conversation.
I'm fine with it & will just move on.
But, how many of you would insist on bareback only? "
Anyone who INSISTS on bareback only, I would avoid like the plague ( the use of the idiom was not accidental!) |
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"Hey you know what, at least we can wash our cocks so we're not actually a breeding ground like some sex organs. "
Sorry if I've missed something earlier in the thread, but I've no idea what this means! Sadly you can't just wash an STI away, from a cock or anywhere else! |
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By *for2Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
Exactly right, if a woman insisted on bareback as much as it pains me to say it, I'd say no thanks and if she left I might well curse myself for being an idiot. After all meets as a single man (especially with health issues) are few and far between. But, when I came back to myself I'd know I had done the right thing. We are mostly all swingers which generally means multiple partners when you then think those multiple partners will have multiple partners and those will have...etc I'm sure you can see this could literally end up in a very large number, the odds of an sti at that point are way too high to want to risk. So no bareback for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would only do that with someone I know very well and she has my trust.
It would have to be the same for her with me. If one or the other isn't comfortable, it wouldn't be an issue to use a condom.
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By *ugehandsMan
over a year ago
Fife/ Newcastle |
It's always safe sex for me, where the only exceptions have been with long term partners.
I'm sure most of us wouldn't want to listen to someone else's history blow by blow before we decide to be safe of not.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never insist on it or even expect it. I need to trust someone fully and have safe sex with them for a period of time before BB. I'm also keen on a clear test before that happens too. Some call it over the top but I call it being responsible. Each to their own, I don't judge people but at the end of the day we all have to respect each others choices whether we agree with them or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So again i find the bairback thread. My personal thorts hear as yes i do whair condoms but if you have oral fun with a guy with out a condom are u immune from any sti same as if you go down on a lady if she had an sti with no signs of an infection but then have full sex with a condom dose that mean when you ate hur lady garden you wont of caught owt. chlamydia has next to no symptoms for a start off. "
My thoughts exactly, I was hoping someone would bring this up. Like I am pro safe sex but it has crossed my mind a few times that oral sex is just as unsafe. When I get tested, they check my throat as well as the nether regions.
Is noone concerned about oral? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone insisted on BB they can play by themselves. I've heard all that "I'm clean, not had sex for the last x years" etc. Makes no difference. Respect my choice or go find someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we prefer bb, our choice,
you only safe, your choice,
doesn’t change our opinion of you. It’s just one different choice.
Now i’m off for a fag, coffee and bacon sandwich. I won’t have a beer tho as i care about my health.
We always wear a mask too. But that’s for different reasons.
The moral is…..we don’t, you do, we then won’t screw around together but we can still be friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi, its only polite to have condoms anyway, is only nice to go bareback because you can feel eachother better, i love bareback but condoms there for if the other wants to play safe xxxx |
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"I take it everyone on here who said no were the perfect sensible teen and never had a d*unken one night stand "
In my teens I also hitchhiked, got pissed up in fields on mad dog 20:20 strawberry and kiwi and went on camping holidays.
There are plenty of things I did in my teens that I would never do as a grown arse adult who should know better.  |
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just divine. 
