FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > “Have you met many people off here?”

“Have you met many people off here?”

By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

Continuing on the fabulous array of messages that we women get, (and why we don’t reply) this, and other similar questions listed below have always intrigued me:

“Have you met many off this sire?”

“Have you had any meets?”

“Any luck on here?” (This one makes me LOL every time!)

Some are more specific: “how many men have you met off here?”

Why do single guys ask this? I get at least a couple of messages asking this every day. They may send a good message that makes me reply, and then their next message is this question. This makes me lose interest immediately.

Is it a way to measure up their chances?

Is it a territorial thing?

Is it a way to know if Fab “works”?

Is it a “Yes I am on a sex site but I don’t want to sleep around and I don’t want the people I meet to either” kind of thing?

Or is it genuine curiosity?

It honestly switches me off completely. My verifications are open- they can see how many people I’ve met, both in social and sexual contexts… and I don’t think I have to share details of who I meet to someone on a first/second message.

Thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Interesting question, it’ll be interesting to see what others think. I’m a cynic so I think it’s to gauge their chances

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By *annaBeStrongMan over a year ago

wokingham

Sounds like someone just genuinely trying to start a conversation about the platform your both using. It’s not unusual on any site to ask as an opening question how someone is finding the site, if they’ve had much luck on it etc. and your instantly assigning something malicious to it?

You really can’t do anything right on here as a single guy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't mind it as a question and just see it as a conversation opener, better than "how's u"

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

Tbh think it's just a conversation starter I ask same back when asked x

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Without trying to find clichéd this isn't unique to men.

The vast majority of messages I get from women or couples ask those questions in the first few messages.

In fact in a lot of cases those are the only questions they ask and everything else is one or two word replies.

I hasten to add these are all conversations started by them because I don't send first contact messages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tbh think it's just a conversation starter I ask same back when asked x"

Yep I've been known to ask similar

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By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

"Sounds like someone just genuinely trying to start a conversation about the platform your both using. It’s not unusual on any site to ask as an opening question how someone is finding the site, if they’ve had much luck on it etc. and your instantly assigning something malicious to it?

You really can’t do anything right on here as a single guy

I don’t find it malicious- I find it silly and slightly irritating tbh. The person’s got my attention and I’ve replied- and the next message is that? Really?

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

How is this site treating you ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You really can’t do anything right on here as a single guy

Not at all, it’s my experience only. If you think you can’t do anything right as a single guy you should try being a single female. Main example is the site specifies a non response is polite no thanks. If you reply with no thanks you often get further questions/statements such as “why not” “time waster” “can we just chat” and so on. If you don’t reply you often get similar and I know single guys complain about no replies (despite the site rules). Also “malicious” is a bit strong. Someone trying to gauge how likely you are to meet is not “malicious”

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By *igBobby82Man over a year ago

Hartlepool

This is very interesting to hear some of the issues you ladies put up with. And some of the things guys actually say.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get asked it a lot too but I just see it as them trying to start a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Without trying to find clichéd this isn't unique to men.

The vast majority of messages I get from women or couples ask those questions in the first few messages.

In fact in a lot of cases those are the only questions they ask and everything else is one or two word replies.

I hasten to add these are all conversations started by them because I don't send first contact messages. "

So what do you think of it as first message?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

"Without trying to find clichéd this isn't unique to men.

The vast majority of messages I get from women or couples ask those questions in the first few messages.

In fact in a lot of cases those are the only questions they ask and everything else is one or two word replies.

I hasten to add these are all conversations started by them because I don't send first contact messages. "

No I've yet to send my first dont think I ever will I dont browse people to choose one lol x

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By *ean counterMan over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

It's better than "what you in to" but only just

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By *unloversCouple over a year ago

rotherham

To be honest with being on here for years we have all kinds of questions and if I do t like something or find it irritable then I just move on…….wouldn’t think about putting it all on here to be slated

Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be honest with being on here for years we have all kinds of questions and if I do t like something or find it irritable then I just move on…….wouldn’t think about putting it all on here to be slated

Xxxx"

Well after my comment being taken as “malicious” I think I’ll adopt your policy

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

It's a good filter tbh

The next question after that one invariably is asking me what the details are of my sex meets.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op- it irritates me too, it may be for several reasons, but I find it a bit invasive.

It’s nothing to do with anyone else, and there’s other ways to start a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Questions asked depend on the person I'm asking them of.

If the person has been here a while and has verifications, then I wouldn't ask how they're finding it here, or "How's your luck". However someone new with no verifications I very well may.

Also depends how detailed the profile is. I'm terrible at writing about myself and sure others feel the same. So sparse profile or will require questions to get a feel of what the other person feels and wants.

I think it's a case by case process, and it also depends what level of answers you get.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do we meet people ON here or OFF here?

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

It's a conversation starter. Perhaps a poor one to you, one that makes you feel uncomfortable but one nevertheless.

I've had women and couples ask me this as well as men in the decade (holy fuck) I've been on here.

Yes sometimes they might be a precursor to instigating wank chat but other times it's just general chat. Say you work as a model and you've met someone who's also a model. You might ask them if they've been doing it long, have they had many bookings, are they enjoying it. General chitchat.

(I'm not a model obvs. I could probably apply it to many other jobs

)

I think because I don't find it irksome until (if they do) they ask about sex, I might see it very differently.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

You really can’t do anything right on here as a single guy

Have to agree. There's been quite a few threads recently having a go at messages and interactions with guys.

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By *he Mac LassWoman over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Eeep. I don’t like it either to be honest. It makes me a bit wary.

Different strokes for different folks and there’s no way of telling who will be ok with it and who won’t.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I get it regularly (weekly not daily!) and I just take it as a conversation starter or seeing if I am having no luck just as they seem to be having (as their response always seems to be a thank you for at least replying).

I don’t give out details. I say I’ve had a few meets, been here since 2016 and the site does what I want it to, when I need it to. They then take heart from that or they send me a message telling me the ins and outs of their time on Fab.

Either way, it’s a conversation.

Yes they might be trying to see if I’m a guaranteed shag, but as anyone knows who chats to me, it’s like trying to get blood out of a stone so it would be utterly pointless trying to get in my knickers that way for an instashag.

Most men on here of course want sex. But most also want to chat to someone and to feel seen, so I give them the benefit of the doubt.

Most of the time.

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By *hloetTV/TS over a year ago

Nottingham

I get it from both pov's

Guys so rarely get a reply that they default to sending the same one line messages to everyone "hey how's you?"

Girls get so many messages that are the same or roughly the same. So it starts to become irritating.

Turns into a vicious circle. The more guys don't get a reply the less effort they make. The less effort guys make the less likely they're going to get a reply.

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By *hevycummerTV/TS over a year ago

wirral

Come here often ?

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By *om and JennieCouple over a year ago

Chams or Socials

We’ve had a few of these messages this week. They generally get deleted

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By *osie xWoman over a year ago

wolverhampton

I see it as the old ‘do you come here often’ line, just an opener.

They all get the same answer, ‘I do ok’ it tells them nothing but is an answer

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

The other problem I've found with questions like that is that if I decide to answer them most people don't accept the answers.

For example, I've been here 5 years and this is my fourth profile. In all that time I've had about 60 verifications but only 7 of those meets have been play related and that in itself seems to be an issue for some because apparently my profile and forum engagement means I should have higher numbers.

I don't send messages as i already said and I average one message a month which I'm ok with but some people find that surprising and feel it's ok to give me instructions on what I should be doing.

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By *ndyn50000Man over a year ago

Birmingham

Sounds like a genuine attempt to start a conversation, but showing low imagination.

They should have asked what you fly (says the low hours C172 pilot).....

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

I'm just having a new conversation about the weather !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I’m gonna try a new opening gambit.

A dragons den style pitch asking if they’d like to try out my new invention….. ‘The I-Jonny’.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

" my new invention….. ‘The I-Jonny’."

What is it ?

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By *sBlueWoman over a year ago

Up North

I get this all the time I just shake my head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just say 'Fab? Completed it mate'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" my new invention….. ‘The I-Jonny’.

What is it ?"

I hadn’t thought that far ahead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get it from both pov's

Guys so rarely get a reply that they default to sending the same one line messages to everyone "hey how's you?"

Girls get so many messages that are the same or roughly the same. So it starts to become irritating.

Turns into a vicious circle. The more guys don't get a reply the less effort they make. The less effort guys make the less likely they're going to get a reply. "

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By *eviant KnightMan over a year ago

Norton

For comparison OP, what would you consider a good conversation starting message?

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

" my new invention….. ‘The I-Jonny’.

What is it ?

I hadn’t thought that far ahead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lady's what would be the best way for somebody to say hi and Introduce themselves over messages? Happy Friday all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Experience proves that most of the time the men who ask this type of questions view women on here as sex meat. They are either turned on by a 'slut' or turned off. They lead it into sex chat so they can wank about it.

Or they assume because I met 10+ men I will shag them too.

Or they assume because I've had no 'luck' I will be desperate for a shag.

This isn't tarring the entire Fab population of men with the same brush. Just the ones who ask these questions.

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By *sBlueWoman over a year ago

Up North

"Lady's what would be the best way for somebody to say hi and Introduce themselves over messages? Happy Friday all

A message that shows you have read my profile, s bit of humour. Not what are you doing, hi, hello or various other one or two word messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The ‘I-Jonny’

A sophisticated addition to the discerning penis. Giving real-time feedback on the shag you’ve been giving. Just some of the useful features of the ‘I-Jonny’ include:

Accurate measurements of length/girth - an end to fab inches and sky remotes.

Fluid quantity determination - you will know definitively, if you’re a heavy cummer or not.

Dynamic and real-time thrust per minute display - an indication of whether you’re ‘smashing the back doors in’.

Penetration depth gauge - to warn you of impending cervix bashing. (May require additional user metrics to assist accuracy)

Accurate motion sensors detect the minutest of change in both parties movements - providing a real-time display of satisfaction given.

New feature to be announced on development.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

Sounds Fab

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

"How's your lack of replies to messages going (assuming it's as bad for you, as it is for me)?", could be their alternative.

I tend not to be too critical, when I know so many have a tough time.

Eventually, some Fab AI will train new and 'failing to get replies' men, with how to improve their message response rates.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For comparison OP, what would you consider a good conversation starting message?"

Be interested to see her reply tbh! I’m not sure you will get one as this is just yet another “why are men so stupid, desperate, horrible “ man wining hating threads

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sounds Fab

Are you in?

Are you out?

Fancy being in and out?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Experience proves that most of the time the men who ask this type of questions view women on here as sex meat. They are either turned on by a 'slut' or turned off. They lead it into sex chat so they can wank about it.

Or they assume because I met 10+ men I will shag them too.

Or they assume because I've had no 'luck' I will be desperate for a shag.

This isn't tarring the entire Fab population of men with the same brush. Just the ones who ask these questions."

Do you say that because after they ask this question they start with the sex talk? I've been getting quite a few messages like this and they mystify me.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i have never used one of them as an opening message.

maybe thats why im not getting meets

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!"

How is it man hating?

Women are allowed to ask men questions on here.

It’s how we learn from each other

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Lady's what would be the best way for somebody to say hi and Introduce themselves over messages? Happy Friday all

There are some really good threads on this topic if you search the forum - I contributed to one this week so quite recent. It doesn't have to be fancy!

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

Asking someone how they are getting with a site isn’t terrible is it? Nor is a “hi, how are you?” I mean they are just ice breakers to gauge whether someone finds your profile interesting or your pictures attractive enough to respond.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

How is it man hating?

Women are allowed to ask men questions on here.

It’s how we learn from each other "

My point is if these so called “rubbish questions “ don’t warrant a reply to the person sending it , why does it warrant a big debate on a forum thread? Just delete block and accept its part of being on here! If I had a fiver for every “ hi hun, how’s you” or “nice cock” message I’ve received I would not be on here I would be on a beach in the Caribbean with Rihanna giving me a BJ . I just delete block carry on.

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By *jt11Man over a year ago

Bewdley

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!"

I wouldn’t say this is a man thing thread.. well not yet any way.. haha.

But it does show how many unimaginative idiots a lot of guys here are which does then make it a hell of a lot more difficult for the genuine guys.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

" If I had a fiver for every “ hi hun, how’s you” or “nice cock” message I’ve received I would not be on here I would be on a beach in the Caribbean with Rihanna giving me a BJ . "

How much does she charge ?

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By *jt11Man over a year ago

Bewdley

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

I wouldn’t say this is a man thing thread.. well not yet any way.. haha.

But it does show how many unimaginative idiots a lot of guys here are which does then make it a hell of a lot more difficult for the genuine guys. "

Man HATING…. Not thing. Bloody auto correct..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

I wouldn’t say this is a man thing thread.. well not yet any way.. haha.

But it does show how many unimaginative idiots a lot of guys here are which does then make it a hell of a lot more difficult for the genuine guys. "

Please tell me how it makes it difficult for the ‘genuine’ guys. Whatever that means.

The actions of others have no bearing on how I interact with others. I’m sorry, but that’s a lazy line used to blame others for a perceived lack of their own ‘success’ here.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

" If I had a fiver for every “ hi hun, how’s you” or “nice cock” message I’ve received I would not be on here I would be on a beach in the Caribbean with Rihanna giving me a BJ .

How much does she charge ?"

Hang in I need to add up all the messages and multiply by £5 . Back soon

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Or they assume because I met 10+ men I will shag them too.

Or they assume because I've had no 'luck' I will be desperate for a shag.

This isn't tarring the entire Fab population of men with the same brush. Just the ones who ask these questions."

I wish you’d stop saying “sex meat” it’s starting to turn me off lamb chops!

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

A sex meet with sex meat ?

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

"i have never used one of them as an opening message.

maybe thats why im not getting meets"

I highly recommend “nice thighs, what time do they open?” as an ice breaker

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

"A sex meet with sex meat ?"

Stop it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meat for sex?

I usually pay cash.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or they assume because I met 10+ men I will shag them too.

Or they assume because I've had no 'luck' I will be desperate for a shag.

This isn't tarring the entire Fab population of men with the same brush. Just the ones who ask these questions.

Do you say that because after they ask this question they start with the sex talk? I've been getting quite a few messages like this and they mystify me. "

Yes from experience that's what happens next.

I think it's good to discuss things like this because it can help women to not feel alone.

Also some people love sex chat so introducing it early means compatible people can fuck/ sex chat and those who don't like it won't waste time chatting.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never been one to ask that question it makes no difference to me if someone meet 1 person or 10k people off here it’s none off my business

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or they assume because I met 10+ men I will shag them too.

Or they assume because I've had no 'luck' I will be desperate for a shag.

This isn't tarring the entire Fab population of men with the same brush. Just the ones who ask these questions.

I wish you’d stop saying “sex meat” it’s starting to turn me off lamb chops!

What do you do with them?!

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By *ancer36Woman over a year ago

Stirling

To be honest in the grand scheme of questions I receive in messages asking how many people I’ve met wouldn’t offend me in the least. I take it as a curiosity, perhaps it’s a way of seeing how often or how many people you choose to have sex with as a high number or equally a low one might put them off, perhaps they get off on the thought of you having been with multiple people who knows? but I just take it for what it is a question, it’s my choice whether I answer it or not xx

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By *hilloutMan over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

A clumsy attempt at making small talk? Not something I would do but each to their own.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Meat for sex?

I usually pay cash.

Rump steak for rumpy pumpy

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Or they assume because I met 10+ men I will shag them too.

Or they assume because I've had no 'luck' I will be desperate for a shag.

This isn't tarring the entire Fab population of men with the same brush. Just the ones who ask these questions.

I wish you’d stop saying “sex meat” it’s starting to turn me off lamb chops!

What do you do with them?!

Nothing illegal

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By *elinefineWoman over a year ago

kempston

Any question with a “lol” after it just annoys me…. Don’t know why…..

More recently I have had some quite vile and explicit messages sent to me about what the sender would like to do to me. Nothing yet has appealed!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or they assume because I met 10+ men I will shag them too.

Or they assume because I've had no 'luck' I will be desperate for a shag.

This isn't tarring the entire Fab population of men with the same brush. Just the ones who ask these questions.

Do you say that because after they ask this question they start with the sex talk? I've been getting quite a few messages like this and they mystify me.

Yes from experience that's what happens next.

I think it's good to discuss things like this because it can help women to not feel alone.

Also some people love sex chat so introducing it early means compatible people can fuck/ sex chat and those who don't like it won't waste time chatting. "

It is good to hear that because I can't always spot the behaviour - still newish. Unless it's a really nasty message I tend to just say "not for me" now. Although that often results in hassle - "why're u here then".

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites. "

I’m just not sure how people initiate contact beyond a very simple line. I don’t walk in a pub and walk up to someone and say, “I see you drive a Mazda RX 8 with a Wankel engine did you choose it for its power to weight ratio or it’s uniform torque?”

Sometimes sending a simple line of text enquiring how someone is or whether they are having a good day is just a simple way of saying “I would like to connect with you”. Fab connections are based initially on what our profiles contain, if we like what we see or read, then we may choose to engage with them.

However many peoples profiles have little to no text or are a list of what they don’t want, it’s very hard to pick a conversation out of that. I would say that the most interesting conversations I have ever had in this world have started with a “hi” or “hello” followed by a “it’s nice in here” or a “are you here for the….” Or something similar. Why should fab be different?

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites. "

Aye, as a bisexual, you're all as equally rubbish at approaching people

Personally I tend to go for weird opening messages. Puts some people right off but has also found me relationships with people with the same sick senses of humour as me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Meat for sex?

I usually pay cash.

Rump steak for rumpy pumpy"

Pork chops for a porking.

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By *allySlinkyWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Meat for sex?

I usually pay cash.

Rump steak for rumpy pumpy

Pork chops for a porking. "

Duck for a fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

I don't disagree. It's the sheer volume of "hello" messages mean that a little more is required. I wrote an example message on a few threads about this recently and it was just a couple of sentences. I mostly message guys off the back of a forum thread which makes it way easier!

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!"

Contributing to threads like these doesn't mean women hate men.

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

I find the... how are you finding the site...question hilarious...I answer back .... just check our veris the answer is there lol.

xxxxx Suzi

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

People say that 'other men don't spoil it for everyone' but they clearly do.

200 hello messages gets annoying. The 201 may be a wonderful bloke but by this point I'm in a bad mood and don't reply.

'Hello' isn't abusive but it can still have a negative effect over time.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

Whilst I understand our volume of messages to be different. If someone sends you a “hello” do you not look at their profile and then make a decision to engage or delete? If so the question of opening message is moot, I would think most people (and I may be hideously wrong) when getting a message (maybe from someone that has an interesting avatar, or one that pleases you as an individual) you go to look at their profile and then decide to engage. Maybe if the avatar doesn’t suit your taste or is blank you don’t and delete the message.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t really have any thoughts. If I don’t like a message I just don’t answer. Those messages are nothing to the ones that physically turn my stomach. It’s all part of being on fab though.

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

"I don’t really have any thoughts. If I don’t like a message I just don’t answer. Those messages are nothing to the ones that physically turn my stomach. It’s all part of being on fab though. "

Oh my gosh Nora ... I'd rather receive a thousand hellos than 1 abusive, vile, degrading, sickening message....the type that plays on your mind for days xxxxx Suzi

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By *haggydogMan over a year ago

Brooklands/London

"Continuing on the fabulous array of messages that we women get, (and why we don’t reply) this, and other similar questions listed below have always intrigued me:

“Have you met many off this sire?”

“Have you had any meets?”

“Any luck on here?” (This one makes me LOL every time!)

Some are more specific: “how many men have you met off here?”

Is it a way to measure up their chances?

Is it a territorial thing?

Is it a way to know if Fab “works”?

Is it a “Yes I am on a sex site but I don’t want to sleep around and I don’t want the people I meet to either” kind of thing?

Or is it genuine curiosity?

Thoughts?

I'd say just delete and move on. Or be proactive. You can seek out those that spark your attention. And message them first.

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By *atch0101Man over a year ago

Here

I've met two.

The first who is quietly on here.

My first meeting with her was the best night I've ever had in my entire life.

She was sexy and felt wonderful.

When we were having sex with her on top, I just couldn't stop looking into her eyes. They looked glazed but piercing at the same time. felt she was looking right through me. They were amazing. She was amazing.

I still think about her two years on

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By *atch0101Man over a year ago

Here

Ah I've just realised the Heading was a gripe. Ah well. I've answered differently to lighten it up I guess

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By *oreveryoungkWoman over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Continuing on the fabulous array of messages that we women get, (and why we don’t reply) this, and other similar questions listed below have always intrigued me:

“Have you met many off this sire?”

“Have you had any meets?”

“Any luck on here?” (This one makes me LOL every time!)

Some are more specific: “how many men have you met off here?”

Is it a way to measure up their chances?

Is it a territorial thing?

Is it a way to know if Fab “works”?

Is it a “Yes I am on a sex site but I don’t want to sleep around and I don’t want the people I meet to either” kind of thing?

Or is it genuine curiosity?

Thoughts?

I am exactly the same as you. Instant delete from me.

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By *ocktoplaywithMan over a year ago

Derby

In a word, no.

Or another word, nil.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

People say that 'other men don't spoil it for everyone' but they clearly do.

200 hello messages gets annoying. The 201 may be a wonderful bloke but by this point I'm in a bad mood and don't reply.

'Hello' isn't abusive but it can still have a negative effect over time. "

Exactly!!! As do regular negative threads about men.?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

God, I hate people asking this. It always comes in the first or second message.

It really makes me uncomfortable.

I usually say “that’s none of your business”. I know that may sound rude, but it’s true.

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By *ilverjagMan over a year ago

swansea

In messaging I've tended to use the phrases, "How's your luck?" Or "How are things in your world?" As I've tended to find that way it comes across as less intrusive. Then it's up to the recipient how they decide to interpret it, and message back accordingly. On the basis of their reply, I can then give an appropriate response.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In messaging I've tended to use the phrases, "How's your luck?" Or "How are things in your world?" As I've tended to find that way it comes across as less intrusive. Then it's up to the recipient how they decide to interpret it, and message back accordingly. On the basis of their reply, I can then give an appropriate response. "

But why do you need to know if anyone has had luck or not?

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By *sm265Woman over a year ago

Shangri-la

I get these types of questions regularly, if I respond at all I tend to opt for something pretty vague along the lines of "I'm happy with what I get from the site".

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

But why do you need to know if anyone has had luck or not?"

Fair enough! Give him two opening introductions that would be acceptable to you?

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple over a year ago

chester

I don’t judge anyone by their first message (unless it’s creepy or obnoxious). Not everyone can be witty and charming. If I like their profile, I reply and find the messages get better naturally

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I must admit that I do feel at times, that guys on here can do no right! Given that they can’t possibly know what’s in the mind of every individual woman. Some of us don’t mind this approach, others do…

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok love this question, I read all profiles before messaging, some say they like well mannered men and say it is hard to be polite in messages or please string a sentence together not just hi, some say don't be sleazy with messages, no dick pics (which I never do as its pointless it's on my page haha), so I read one yesterday she seem very attractive and wanted messages to be different from the boring messages she got and wanted humour, so I messaged saying, I bought 2 1/4 pounder burgers for tea and having them with chunky chips and salad, bet you don't get messages saying that lol, then went on to introduce myself, I thought it was humorous but was boocked instantly, im always very polite and don't just type one sentence messages, for a guy it's very difficult to message exactly what the lady wants in my opinion

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By *sm265Woman over a year ago

Shangri-la

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

Contributing to threads like these doesn't mean women hate men."

I think a lot of these types of threads are actually women trying to help men.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ok love this question, I read all profiles before messaging, some say they like well mannered men and say it is hard to be polite in messages or please string a sentence together not just hi, some say don't be sleazy with messages, no dick pics (which I never do as its pointless it's on my page haha), so I read one yesterday she seem very attractive and wanted messages to be different from the boring messages she got and wanted humour, so I messaged saying, I bought 2 1/4 pounder burgers for tea and having them with chunky chips and salad, bet you don't get messages saying that lol, then went on to introduce myself, I thought it was humorous but was boocked instantly, im always very polite and don't just type one sentence messages, for a guy it's very difficult to message exactly what the lady wants in my opinion

I would have replied saying how disgraceful having salad in winter!

I think the point is everyone is different. She blocked you because you're not compatible. It's a positive, no time wasted.

You sound like a decent bloke.

Don't panic, I'm not chatting you up.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I also highly recommend these openers:

“Gosh when I first saw your breasts I was mesmerised. They spoke to me in a language I’d heard only in my dreams. I must chat with you. Message me back you sex goddess”

“Your nipples. They speak to me. They said “message me” so I did”

“Your thighs. They are missing something. Me between them!”

If you need any more advice fellas then just the magic word

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

Contributing to threads like these doesn't mean women hate men.

I think a lot of these types of threads are actually women trying to help men. "

I think the women haters take it as an insult because it's too close to home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/22 10:06:35]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

Contributing to threads like these doesn't mean women hate men.

I think a lot of these types of threads are actually women trying to help men. "

The problem with that is, only a tiny % of men using fab, use the forums. So the message they’re trying to get across just isn’t read by the audience they’re trying to reach.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

Anyone have a Wankel engine? #askingforafriendidonothave

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I also highly recommend these openers:

“Gosh when I first saw your breasts I was mesmerised. They spoke to me in a language I’d heard only in my dreams. I must chat with you. Message me back you sex goddess”

“Your nipples. They speak to me. They said “message me” so I did”

“Your thighs. They are missing something. Me between them!”

If you need any more advice fellas then just the magic word

You forgot:

Now that I've messaged you, what are your other 2 wishes?

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By *jt11Man over a year ago

Bewdley

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

I wouldn’t say this is a man thing thread.. well not yet any way.. haha.

But it does show how many unimaginative idiots a lot of guys here are which does then make it a hell of a lot more difficult for the genuine guys.

Please tell me how it makes it difficult for the ‘genuine’ guys. Whatever that means.

The actions of others have no bearing on how I interact with others. I’m sorry, but that’s a lazy line used to blame others for a perceived lack of their own ‘success’ here. "

The action of idiots using something like a copy paste function to basically spam every woman on the site, for then a genuine guy to only a message a couple of ladies that they fancy, but those message most probably will get binned, sadly because those idiots have irritated those lovely ladies to such a degree they sadly stood a chance.

I have had success on the site, and have some wonderful fun friends to show for it.

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

Yes

A few

They don't need to know any more than that.

Then I ask them the same!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would have replied saying how disgraceful having salad in winter!

I think the point is everyone is different. She blocked you because you're not compatible. It's a positive, no time wasted.

You sound like a decent bloke.

Don't panic, I'm not chatting you up. "

Hahaha I get everyone is different, guess what I'm trying to say is us men are easy to figure out, we love sex, beer, food and sports lol, but trying to understand what a woman wants is like figuring out quantum science lol, for instance, if a lady asks does my bum look big in these jeans, if we reply yes, we are arseholes, if we reply no ut looks perfect we get, your just saying that, so here it is ladies, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR HEAD OR WHAT TO SAY FOR THE BEST LOL

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

Maybe it wasn't the msg that put her off?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would have replied saying how disgraceful having salad in winter!

I think the point is everyone is different. She blocked you because you're not compatible. It's a positive, no time wasted.

You sound like a decent bloke.

Don't panic, I'm not chatting you up.

NEITHER DO WE

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would have replied saying how disgraceful having salad in winter!

I think the point is everyone is different. She blocked you because you're not compatible. It's a positive, no time wasted.

You sound like a decent bloke.

Don't panic, I'm not chatting you up.

NEITHER DO WE

Then we're all just fucked then

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

I would have replied saying how disgraceful having salad in winter!

I think the point is everyone is different. She blocked you because you're not compatible. It's a positive, no time wasted.

You sound like a decent bloke.

Don't panic, I'm not chatting you up.

Ha ha! Think this is so true!! X

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By *jt11Man over a year ago

Bewdley

Maybe she was really disappointed you didn't actually ask her to join you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh by the way if you like burgers tescos 1/4 pounders taste like shit don't bother hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe she was really disappointed you didn't actually ask her to join you

I didnt because i was being respectful just incase she was a vegan hahaha

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!

Contributing to threads like these doesn't mean women hate men.

I think a lot of these types of threads are actually women trying to help men.

The problem with that is, only a tiny % of men using fab, use the forums. So the message they’re trying to get across just isn’t read by the audience they’re trying to reach."

I think some people like to vent on the forums.

I prefer to block all men most of the time, then open my filters a teeny weeny bit to let messages filter through.

I try to answer them all, even the ones I've read a million times, as it's not their fault I can't be arsed scrolling through profiles to find men to message.

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

I genuinely don't understand why there are so many of these "I don't like it when men..." threads lately. Do people just need to vent their frustrations? Are you trying to educate the menfolk of the site?

If it's the latter, my first thought is that you're probably missing the target audience on the forums. But then I wonder why anyone would want to mould someone else's behaviour to suit themselves. I much prefer to let people be themselves, and if they do/say anything that I really don't like it just shows that we're not compatible.

And before I get pounced on, yes, anyone is entitled to post whatever they want within site rules, and I'm well aware that I can just skip threads if I don't like them. I just feel like a better approach (especially in this instance) would be to just highlight directly to the sender that you don't think that's an appropriate question to ask someone on here and move on with the conversation if you were previously enjoying chatting to them. We've all said clumsy things when making small talk, we're human. (Obviously the above doesn't apply to the nasty or vomit-inducing messages, the people that send those need to have a stern word with themselves!)

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

I don't receive 100s of MSG's, so I read every single one, unless I can see that it's crude.

The type of first msg I like to receive would be...

A clear face pic

Introduce themselves

A compliment

Refer to something in my profile/Why they think we'd be compatible

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

I think that is one question I haven’t had in a message. If I did I’d probably skip over it if part of a bigger conversation

I’ve had similar in person, ‘so do you have sex or do you just meet socially’, which was based on my veris so could see why it was asked. Response was simple, I do I just choose not to show with who.

We will all react differently to the various questions we get, it’s learning not to let them wind you up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I also highly recommend these openers:

“Gosh when I first saw your breasts I was mesmerised. They spoke to me in a language I’d heard only in my dreams. I must chat with you. Message me back you sex goddess”

“Your nipples. They speak to me. They said “message me” so I did”

“Your thighs. They are missing something. Me between them!”

If you need any more advice fellas then just the magic word

You should charge for these

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I also highly recommend these openers:

“Gosh when I first saw your breasts I was mesmerised. They spoke to me in a language I’d heard only in my dreams. I must chat with you. Message me back you sex goddess”

“Your nipples. They speak to me. They said “message me” so I did”

“Your thighs. They are missing something. Me between them!”

If you need any more advice fellas then just the magic word

You forgot:

Now that I've messaged you, what are your other 2 wishes?

I'd laugh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would have replied saying how disgraceful having salad in winter!

I think the point is everyone is different. She blocked you because you're not compatible. It's a positive, no time wasted.

You sound like a decent bloke.

Don't panic, I'm not chatting you up. "

This is SO true. If you write a nice /funny message and you get blocked - why would you want to be with someone who does that? They're not for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

If someone sends me a one word message and I've got 30 of them then nope I'm not going to carefully go through each profile. I will delete the message. Same as the winks. I just don't want to spend all my time managing my inbox. And many of the one word messages (which I'd vall lazy tbh) are accompanied by a cock closeup. If I know someone from the forums - I nearly always reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But why do you need to know if anyone has had luck or not?

Fair enough! Give him two opening introductions that would be acceptable to you?"

Anything other than asking the details of my sex life as an opener.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

So you don’t look at the profile at all? Of, for example a person that says “hello, how are you today”, has an interesting avatar and hasn’t sent their Johnson in the post?

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I genuinely don't understand why there are so many of these "I don't like it when men..." threads lately. Do people just need to vent their frustrations? Are you trying to educate the menfolk of the site?

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

Absolutely spot on

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By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

No, I don’t intend to educate anyone, I know I talk to the converted on here. Been here long enough to know that.

I was just asking out of curiosity, shame some people see it as malicious.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Creating fab blueprints for profiles, verifications and messages completely defeats the whole point of personal choice.

If any of the above show little effort or a lack of personality or character traits that don't appeal then they are another excellent filter.

If everyone was to take the advice given every day on here and created new personas based on that guidance, not only would all profiles be clones and lacking in originality but most of them would be fake as they weren't giving a true portrayal of the person behind them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Creating fab blueprints for profiles, verifications and messages completely defeats the whole point of personal choice.

If any of the above show little effort or a lack of personality or character traits that don't appeal then they are another excellent filter.

I can still moan about being annoyed by it though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

So you don’t look at the profile at all? Of, for example a person that says “hello, how are you today”, has an interesting avatar and hasn’t sent their Johnson in the post? "

If I have time, I might. But to me chatting to someone I hope to meet and chatting to my friends and spending time on the forum are the priorities.

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By *hilloutMan over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

As a fab veteran, I concur with the last statement. Even more ironic is that the sender's profile would have a detailed description of what they want and would often state "make an effort with messaging"

If I were a rookie just starting my journey here, I'd come to the conclusion that randomly messaging any woman I've not spoken to previously would be a useless exercise; regardless if I'd fit their (often extensive) criteria. Far too many women have become jaded with their experience here, lowering their tolerance for any unsolicited interaction.

I would stick to interaction off the back of forum threads and focus mainly on meeting people through clubs or organised socials.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

So you don’t look at the profile at all? Of, for example a person that says “hello, how are you today”, has an interesting avatar and hasn’t sent their Johnson in the post?

If I have time, I might. But to me chatting to someone I hope to meet and chatting to my friends and spending time on the forum are the priorities. "

Well then to me that makes the first message somewhat moot. Essentially you respond (as most of us do) to someone’s avatar and profile text and not the initial message and ignore those that are either obscene (for your value of that) or undesirable. Of course someone can put in the extra effort to attract your attention via a cleverly worded opener, but this no more guarantees your attention than an interesting avatar or profile.

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By *adyBugsWoman over a year ago

cognito

Those questions don’t excite me.

I do like message titles or messages that show they’ve actually read my profile. Those are far more intriguing people and although I still might not reply I more than likely check out their profile.

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"No, I don’t intend to educate anyone, I know I talk to the converted on here. Been here long enough to know that.

I was just asking out of curiosity, shame some people see it as malicious.

No one sees it as malicious!!?

. Tedious and tiresome yes. But definitely not malicious.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I would stick to interaction off the back of forum threads and focus mainly on meeting people through clubs or organised socials. "

Just a wee point on what you said re "far too many women have become jaded" but if they are jaded then the it's because there is very little conversation and a lot of abuse. Not saying you're wrong just that it seems a bit chicken egg. If you were to see some of the messages and some of the lack of acceptance of a polite no thanks gets then you might understand that frustration a bit more. In saying that I agree there is no need for abuse from anyone and I do think social media makes for some horrible behaviour. There is no easy answer but keeping my message standards high, is mine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No,, im scared to death and seem to be invisible

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No,, im scared to death and seem to be invisible "

Who said that

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By *hilloutMan over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I would stick to interaction off the back of forum threads and focus mainly on meeting people through clubs or organised socials.

It's an accurate statement and yes, I've seen the amount and kind of messages / abuse women can receive. If they become more or less jaded depends on how they deal with the situation. It's far easier to lower your tolerance to interaction in general rather than taking every incoming message as you find it and not applying preconceived notions from the outset.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I would stick to interaction off the back of forum threads and focus mainly on meeting people through clubs or organised socials.

Not just easier, but less draining on the soul.

If I'm feeling like every message is pulling me down I close my filters until I'm mentally able to cope.

Apropos, I find that when I answer the how many men have you met, or how are you finding the site questions they almost always go on to ask questions about my sex life. Yes, it's a sex site, but there's so much more to talk about than how many cocks I've sucked.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"No, I don’t intend to educate anyone, I know I talk to the converted on here. Been here long enough to know that.

I was just asking out of curiosity, shame some people see it as malicious.

No one sees it as malicious!!?

. Tedious and tiresome yes. But definitely not malicious. "

Tedious and tiresome like the what you into messages?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Perfectly put, couldn’t agree more!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No,, im scared to death and seem to be invisible

Who said that

See told ye haha

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By *he AmbassadorMan over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

It's not just the single men asking those Q,s OP,

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"It's not just the single men asking those Q,s OP, "

True. To be fair I’ve probably asked a few of those. Ah well

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By *uitednbooted2Man over a year ago

Berkshire

"It's not just the single men asking those Q,s OP, "

Really

point me to all the forum posts about this please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I would stick to interaction off the back of forum threads and focus mainly on meeting people through clubs or organised socials.

Yes I agree not everyone is the same. As I said I keep my standards high and even though I get messages every day (despite a VERY clear profile) I am polite in response. It would be nice though if there was less abuse in the first place, or profiles read and acted on. To say one or the other is at fault isn’t right though and alas it’s a problem that won’t ever change I fear

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"It's not just the single men asking those Q,s OP,

Really

point me to all the forum posts about this please

Men tend to moan about lack of pussy, not crap messages

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

My skin is so thick from being on here Hermès tried to make a handbag out of me.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"My skin is so thick from being on here Hermès tried to make a handbag out of me."

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By *ocktoplaywithMan over a year ago

Derby

"My skin is so thick from being on here Hermès tried to make a handbag out of me."

They would probably have lost you which would have been a great shame, lose most other stuff

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By *hilloutMan over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I would stick to interaction off the back of forum threads and focus mainly on meeting people through clubs or organised socials.

Not just easier, but less draining on the soul.

If I'm feeling like every message is pulling me down I close my filters until I'm mentally able to cope.

Seems like a very common sense approach.

I definitely agree with the last bit

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By *ood Girl KatWoman over a year ago

Bristol

I get the 'how are you finding it on here?'

Honestly I just see it as general conversation.

You also have a right to not answer the question if you don't want to.

It's the unsolicited dick pics that annoy me

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"It's not just the single men asking those Q,s OP,

Really

point me to all the forum posts about this please

Do you think if something isn't posted about on the forums it doesn't happen?

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"My skin is so thick from being on here Hermès tried to make a handbag out of me.

They would probably have lost you which would have been a great shame, lose most other stuff "

I think she means the brand not the delivery company

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"My skin is so thick from being on here Hermès tried to make a handbag out of me.

They would probably have lost you which would have been a great shame, lose most other stuff

I think she means the brand not the delivery company

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

You’ve got to give guys a chance. They are trying to engage you in conversation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow it’s getting harder and harder to start a conversation on here, probably why I don’t message first.

To be honest I would be a little concerned if someone’s opening message to me was more than a paragraph.

By the way ladies, 90% of the opening messages I have had from women have been one line in a similar vein to the above.

I'd be a little concerned if an opening message was more than a paragraph too!

You're not the only man who has said that they get a lot of one liner intros. Same goes for other sites.

So you don’t look at the profile at all? Of, for example a person that says “hello, how are you today”, has an interesting avatar and hasn’t sent their Johnson in the post?

If I have time, I might. But to me chatting to someone I hope to meet and chatting to my friends and spending time on the forum are the priorities.

I find an interesting message definitely means I check the profile. "Hello how are you" isn't. On a site where men know how many messages a single woman is likely to be getting - "hello" or "nice tits" or "x" (really) - it won't get them anywhere. Someone who makes a little bit more of an effort - I look at their profile. I respond even if to say no. I might take a while to do that, but I do try to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’ve got to give guys a chance. They are trying to engage you in conversation. "

Every single one of them? So as I said to Devon - if I get 5 guys a day asking how the site is for me and 10 guys a day saying "how's you" I have to engage with all 15 men?

Nope.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My skin is so thick from being on here Hermès tried to make a handbag out of me."

And do you find also you're more clear on boundaries now? I find after 6 months here I am rigid on what I won't accept. Otherwise I get treated like a doormat.

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By *lectrumMan over a year ago

south shields

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By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

"Op- it irritates me too, it may be for several reasons, but I find it a bit invasive.

It’s nothing to do with anyone else, and there’s other ways to start a conversation."

It is this. It is intrusive, invasive and poor form. And I feel better to see that other people think so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's not just the single men asking those Q,s OP,

Really

point me to all the forum posts about this please

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By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

"Sounds like a genuine attempt to start a conversation, but showing low imagination.

They should have asked what you fly (says the low hours C172 pilot)....."

A350 girl

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No,, im scared to death and seem to be invisible "

Seriously? What's made you feel like this?

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By *an1978Woman over a year ago

GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please)

[Removed by poster at 04/02/22 12:50:58]

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By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

"For comparison OP, what would you consider a good conversation starting message?

Be interested to see her reply tbh! I’m not sure you will get one as this is just yet another “why are men so stupid, desperate, horrible “ man wining hating threads

Hahahaha sour grapes, buddy?

I’ve had everything- everything under the sun. I’ve been asked lots of things, told jokes, been given recipes, sob stories… I just find those questions intrusive and a very poor way to start a conversation. I just stop replying, or just not reply to that if it is a first message. But it definitely is the question I get asked the most,(in its differemt guises) so I was curious to see why.

Aviation references/questions/comments will always get my attention!

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By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

"O"

Big O

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By *eah BabyCouple over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

I suppose it’s like someone in a bar asking ‘do you come here often?’

it will work for some but not for others and generally boils down to if you like the look of them or not to how you respond

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By *an1978Woman over a year ago

GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please)

"i have never used one of them as an opening message.

maybe thats why im not getting meets

I highly recommend “nice thighs, what time do they open?” as an ice breaker

Not sure if you're being sarcastic but that made me laugh

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By *ugarbearCouple over a year ago

Tredegar

yep been on here since it first started

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Continuing on the fabulous array of messages that we women get, (and why we don’t reply) this, and other similar questions listed below have always intrigued me:

“Have you met many off this sire?”

“Have you had any meets?”

“Any luck on here?” (This one makes me LOL every time!)

Some are more specific: “how many men have you met off here?”

Is it a way to measure up their chances?

Is it a territorial thing?

Is it a way to know if Fab “works”?

Is it a “Yes I am on a sex site but I don’t want to sleep around and I don’t want the people I meet to either” kind of thing?

Or is it genuine curiosity?

Thoughts?

My answers.

No.

Yes. I have had meets.

No.

I've never met any men off here, but then again, that is not my thing.

Measure up exactly "who's" chances?

Territorial thing? Hell Yeah, if any pussyfoot should dare to set his pussyfoot into my territory, then god help him.

Genuine curiosity? Crap excuse which won't get you off the hook even if ya claim to be innocently eating fish n chips at your local favourite dogging site.

Hope that helps.

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By *viatrix OP Woman over a year ago

Redhill

"FFS Here we go with another MH thread.

I hope the mods shut this one down too.!"

So wound up you are that you feel the need to post with all your accounts!

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By *he AmbassadorMan over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

"It's not just the single men asking those Q,s OP,

Really

point me to all the forum posts about this please

Let's also point to all the forum posts of women asking for profile help. Women don't post those but they usually help on them. The sexes have different experiences so they talk about different things. "
ahh folks it's the weekend, let's not start a war between The meat n 2 vegs and the fun bags wizard sleeves,,

Let there be love in da house,,

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