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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In an opening message. Many profiles say they don't want the 'hi how are you'...'what you upto' or 'stand out from everyone else' etc. What for you makes an interesting first message?
I'm fine once in a conversation, but giving that initial impression to make you want to chat with me proves more and more difficult, as there's surely only so much you can say to begin with.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it is more difficult because most initial messages are attempts to get a shag, rarely are they genuinely an attempt at friendship
As a receiver, we open all initial messages as 'oh, here we go again'
As such, in an attempt to be different, I think the tendency is to overthink and we end up writing things that come across as somewhat blathering and disingenuous about their intent |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why would you want to talk to somebody if you don't know what to say? What would you expect to talk about? "
Maybe original post not worded correctly....not necessarily saying I don't know what to say but some profiles make out like you've got to give the most complex and extravagant opening message as opposed to a normal conversation So just curious what people expect as a first message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I certainly don't expect an extravagant opening message if someone chooses to send one!
I wrote an example the other day. If this is any help.
"Hi there, I loved your photo today/post on the forum/status. And thought I'd say hullo. I'm looking for xxx and it seems like maybe you are too? Have a great day, Fred"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it is more difficult because most initial messages are attempts to get a shag, rarely are they genuinely an attempt at friendship
As a receiver, we open all initial messages as 'oh, here we go again'
As such, in an attempt to be different, I think the tendency is to overthink and we end up writing things that come across as somewhat blathering and disingenuous about their intent"
Exactly makes me think I've to write something incredible then once I've come up with something and sent it just seems a load of waffling on instead of just a normal message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like :
Good use of spacing in messages, something that is easy to read.
Ultimately, for me, it doesn't really matter what you put unless your pics look interesting (hot). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like :
Good use of spacing in messages, something that is easy to read.
Ultimately, for me, it doesn't really matter what you put unless your pics look interesting (hot). "
And therein lies the truth
If there is little or no physical attraction, the message is largely superfluous
Hence why a reading a profile is important - there are usually clues as to whether a message of yours will be responded to |
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I’ve asked for funny stories or jokes as “hi” or “wuup2” just doesn’t do it for me..!
Get so many messages so ones that have made the effort usually stand out and do well.
Then I look at the profile x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I certainly don't expect an extravagant opening message if someone chooses to send one!
I wrote an example the other day. If this is any help.
"Hi there, I loved your photo today/post on the forum/status. And thought I'd say hullo. I'm looking for xxx and it seems like maybe you are too? Have a great day, Fred"
"
Well, seems I don't have to try concoct something too extravagant then. As that is a much simpler way of doing things |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like :
Good use of spacing in messages, something that is easy to read.
Ultimately, for me, it doesn't really matter what you put unless your pics look interesting (hot). "
Attraction is a key part in all fairness. Can imagine many don't respond on that basis alone. |
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I have no idea. I would hate to send an initial message so I feel your pain. But the messages I like show that they have read my profile and are able to personalise it to me. If they are witty they certainly get a response. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve asked for funny stories or jokes as “hi” or “wuup2” just doesn’t do it for me..!
Get so many messages so ones that have made the effort usually stand out and do well.
Then I look at the profile x"
See thats a good way as gives a bit of an idea to work with! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have no idea. I would hate to send an initial message so I feel your pain. But the messages I like show that they have read my profile and are able to personalise it to me. If they are witty they certainly get a response."
Initial message is never easy! Hmmm so I just have to find some wit from somewhere.... and you may respond  |
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"I like :
Good use of spacing in messages, something that is easy to read.
Ultimately, for me, it doesn't really matter what you put unless your pics look interesting (hot). "
What she said.
I read the profile before opening the message. Say it in the profile. Have pics that give a good idea of your physique. Then it's down to attraction - if she is attracted she will reply. Don't put so much pressure on the first message. Make the 2nd one count as you already have her attention! |
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I like if someone mentions something personal, rather than recieving a generic copy/paste intro. A genuine message from someone who has genuinely read your profile, maybe seen you about in the forums will always stand out.
Maybe keep this question in mind when you write your initial message:
What is it about this person or couple that has caught your eye or stood out to you?
Let them know the answer***
***(unless the answer is 'coz I need to cum and anyone that says yes will do', in which case, probably don't message at all) |
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"I like :
Good use of spacing in messages, something that is easy to read.
Ultimately, for me, it doesn't really matter what you put unless your pics look interesting (hot). "
Well That’s Always Good To No ?  |
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"I like :
Good use of spacing in messages, something that is easy to read.
Ultimately, for me, it doesn't really matter what you put unless your pics look interesting (hot).
Well____\\ That’s _____ Always _____Good _____ To ____ No ? ____ "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you want to talk to somebody if you don't know what to say? What would you expect to talk about?
Maybe original post not worded correctly....not necessarily saying I don't know what to say but some profiles make out like you've got to give the most complex and extravagant opening message as opposed to a normal conversation So just curious what people expect as a first message "
A normal greeting and some indication they've read my profile is fine for me.
A comment or question on something I've written, the reason they chose to message (polite, not crude and creepy), or something funny, will all get read. It doesn't have to be award winning.
"Hi, what are you looking for?" or "Wanna f**k tonight?" will not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wrote an example the other day. If this is any help.
"Hi there, I loved your photo today/post on the forum/status. And thought I'd say hullo. I'm looking for xxx and it seems like maybe you are too? Have a great day, Fred"
"
This is perfect. Call me, Fred. |
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Love the idea of connecting with a real proper couple who both liked to explore this scenario with me.... the rough idea is I’d arrange with the husband the meet, I’d book a hotel room and arrange for the three of us to meet at the bar. I’d have explained the outfit exactly that I’d like the woman to wear for meeting. Idea would be we all meet for a few drinks, ease the nerves and have a few laughs together first. I’d love to (pretend) offer a fee for us to go to the room the the female has to do as I request. I’m not into anything weird or wonderful I’ll be clear about that lol. I just really love the idea of being in control and having a couple explore something they wouldn’t normally do. Discretion assured of course.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ultimately, for me, it doesn't really matter what you put unless your pics look interesting (hot).
And therein lies the truth
If there is little or no physical attraction, the message is largely superfluous
"
You need both elements, really. There has to be attraction yes but I've deleted messages from some VERY attractive men who sent horrendous first messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wrote an example the other day. If this is any help.
"Hi there, I loved your photo today/post on the forum/status. And thought I'd say hullo. I'm looking for xxx and it seems like maybe you are too? Have a great day, Fred"
This is perfect. Call me, Fred. "
Ooh-er luv!  |
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