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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This isn't aimed at anyone or a rant. Tis a mere question to everyone.
What is it that makes you ignore messages?
Is it the volume you receive or is it just a crap subject line?
Are you a person that perhaps then messages again and again being a pest or are you like me and just quite content to carry on?
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Right now, because I'm not looking to meet.
When I was looking to meet, I got bored of trawling through all the messages from people that didn't even remotely fit the description of what my profile said I was looking for, plus I've always preferred to search and initiate contact with people that I like the look of and whose preferences I genuinely believe I fit. |
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People who quite clearly haven't bothered to read our bio on our profile... we took the time to write it so people can quite clearly see what we are looking for but we still get messages from people that obviously in no way fit in with what we are searching for |
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I tend to check the profile beofre the message. If they arnt what im looking for, which im very clear about in my profile, then usually delete without opening, and if a message starts with " what are you here/looking for".. |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
Faceless profiles especially if they’ve not attached a picture.
One liners
Not interested in their profile
Basically it could be anything especially after years of being on here and seeing rubbish messages or receiving trash or abuse I’ve just given up bothering to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Crap one liners.
The senders profile doesn’t interest me.
Immature looking profile usernames.
Preferences not matching."
These are mine. In my case, off-putting usernames that suggests they are miles away from my preferences.
Usually just a sheer mismatch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile. |
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I'd like to say I ignore messages from people who don't read my profile but I always reply and refer them to the profile text.
Even those introductory messages from people I've never spoken to before that are just a list of demands.
Phone number and facepic now!
Shave your beard off and we might talk about meeting!
Play bi or guarantee a sexy lady and we'll put you on our to do list!
I always have to reply and ask if that approach ever works? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get inundated with messages so they alm get a reply, but sometime I struggle to have anything constructive to say back when a man (obviously hasn't looked at my preferences or he's just trying his luck) simply sends a message saying "hey!". I've never had a boring message from a lady. I did get a very strange one from a couple at the weekend, but still replied |
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I have on my profile that if you mesaage me something that you wouldn't say to a woman in a bar then there's a very high chance I'll just delete.
If it's a decent message but the sender isn't for me I will respond to say thanks but no thanks. If it's a "how ru" and the profile is blank I probably won't. |
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"This isn't aimed at anyone or a rant. Tis a mere question to everyone.
What is it that makes you ignore messages?
Is it the volume you receive or is it just a crap subject line?
Are you a person that perhaps then messages again and again being a pest or are you like me and just quite content to carry on?
"
No pics (or only dick pics) on profile or attached.
Not enough info on pics for interest to be piqued. Pics show not what I'm looking for.
Then if the content of the profile/status is off-putting.
Then if the content of the message is not engaging or they try to engage me in 'chat' which shows they've not read my profile or think it doesn't apply to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile."
How many messages do you get a day? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day? "
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
"
Absolute rubbish. Not replying to a message does not mean lack of morals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Crap one liners.
The senders profile doesn’t interest me.
Immature looking profile usernames.
Preferences not matching."
Immature usernames really? I think I’m bit too immature I love them, gives me a laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
"
So you’d take hours out if your own time to reply to the hundreds of messages women get? You’d spend all your time responding to messages, even if they are
WUU2
How’s u
Face pic please
A graphic description of what they are going to do to you, when they’ve never spoken to you and know nothing about you?
The message criticising you/profile/pics? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
"
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d just take it as they aren’t interested, I can only imagine how much mail couples and single ladies get on here, personally I’d make sure I read the profile and only message those who sound like we might have similar interests or mindset and that’s all you can do do really, don’t take it personal. Stick to the forums and build connections |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolute rubbish. Not replying to a message does not mean lack of morals. "
Maybe try reading what i actually said instead of selecting a word from that sentence and making up something you think i said.
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I delete any messages from a sillohette profile, out of area or just boring, Hi, How are you, how was your weekend type messages, without opening or looking at the profile
After that I look at the profile to see if it's if interest to me & I can usually tell from their profile wether they've read mine, if it's obvious they haven't it's another delete before opening, as is any reference to Sydney university or FB being a publicly traded entity, will meet 99 year olds, one line bios etc
But if I like their bio, they are local and they are what I'm looking for I'll respond and usually meet pretty soon after |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that."
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that.
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space "
Calling anyone a Karen is really unnecessary. You've made a judgment about others "Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile". So that will be why others have responded as if you are judging them. Women get really touchy about this topic because guys are really critical about it constantly.
Yes I know how to manage my account thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that.
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space
Calling anyone a Karen is really unnecessary. You've made a judgment about others "Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile". So that will be why others have responded as if you are judging them. Women get really touchy about this topic because guys are really critical about it constantly.
Yes I know how to manage my account thank you. "
Yes a personal judgement. What i think a no reply to my message says about the recipient.
No one has a discussion any more. Always striaght in for an attack. I personally can disagree with someone's opinion and not let it ruin my day or friendship with that person.
Anyway, time for a coffee, you want one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that.
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space "
I presume you’re referring to me as a Karen? Please feel free to expand on why, having boundaries, and prioritising my own time makes me a Karen?
I’ve said it before, I won’t be a ‘good girl’ on here to suit others, and at my own expense….. |
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When they don’t read the profile, not to be rude but my profile states “straight”, guys can’t message me.
But one went out the other way and messaged me on Kik… which is a complete breach of my privacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes I simply don't want to. And that's OK. If I want to scroll through fab and ignore my messages I will do. Even with people I speak to regularly. My own cup gets filled before I pour from it.
Otherwise it's the "I've read your messages, want to meet?". OK, you haven't read my profile then. A collection of dick pics sent in an opening message. Graphic messages of what they want to do to me. 'couples' that message which pretend to be the F. Single women that think because they're a single woman they can click their fingers and have you begging at their feet. Men who message you asking for a face pic to see if they want to speak to you no. Repeat messages. An influx of messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I simply don't want to. And that's OK. If I want to scroll through fab and ignore my messages I will do. Even with people I speak to regularly. My own cup gets filled before I pour from it.
Otherwise it's the "I've read your messages, want to meet?". OK, you haven't read my profile then. A collection of dick pics sent in an opening message. Graphic messages of what they want to do to me. 'couples' that message which pretend to be the F. Single women that think because they're a single woman they can click their fingers and have you begging at their feet. Men who message you asking for a face pic to see if they want to speak to you no. Repeat messages. An influx of messages. "
Love this
I just had a scroll on social media, and this quote popped up, and it seemed quite timely for this thread
‘How you allocate your energy is a reflection of how well you understand the power and worth of your energy.’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes I simply don't want to. And that's OK. If I want to scroll through fab and ignore my messages I will do. Even with people I speak to regularly. My own cup gets filled before I pour from it.
Otherwise it's the "I've read your messages, want to meet?". OK, you haven't read my profile then. A collection of dick pics sent in an opening message. Graphic messages of what they want to do to me. 'couples' that message which pretend to be the F. Single women that think because they're a single woman they can click their fingers and have you begging at their feet. Men who message you asking for a face pic to see if they want to speak to you no. Repeat messages. An influx of messages. "
Supposed to say "I've read your profile" duh. I think a lunchtime nap is on the cards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love this
I just had a scroll on social media, and this quote popped up, and it seemed quite timely for this thread
‘How you allocate your energy is a reflection of how well you understand the power and worth of your energy.’"
I don't always heed my own advice but it validates reasons why I won't reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Love this
I just had a scroll on social media, and this quote popped up, and it seemed quite timely for this thread
‘How you allocate your energy is a reflection of how well you understand the power and worth of your energy.’
I don't always heed my own advice but it validates reasons why I won't reply "
Absolutely . As you said, you can’t pour from an empty cup. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that.
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space
I presume you’re referring to me as a Karen? Please feel free to expand on why, having boundaries, and prioritising my own time makes me a Karen?
I’ve said it before, I won’t be a ‘good girl’ on here to suit others, and at my own expense….."
No I think it was aimed at _ollydoes, Hippy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that.
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space
I presume you’re referring to me as a Karen? Please feel free to expand on why, having boundaries, and prioritising my own time makes me a Karen?
I’ve said it before, I won’t be a ‘good girl’ on here to suit others, and at my own expense….."
No sorry, wasnt you. |
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile."
But the site rules confirms that no reply means no thanks so it’s not rude at all.
Do you reply to the pizza flyer that comes through your door? Same principle…
It’s unsolicited mail being received - you’ve not asked for it so it’s not rude not responding to it
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that.
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space
I presume you’re referring to me as a Karen? Please feel free to expand on why, having boundaries, and prioritising my own time makes me a Karen?
I’ve said it before, I won’t be a ‘good girl’ on here to suit others, and at my own expense…..
No I think it was aimed at _ollydoes, Hippy x"
Ahh. My comment still stands. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"[Removed by poster at 03/02/22 11:36:37]
I see you’ve removed it, but I didn’t mention your morals. "
Yes sorry, i got confused scrolling through, my bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
How many messages do you get a day?
Less than zero on average. I send a few, but get no replies, from women atleast. Guys on here are happy enough to chat.
Not that the ammount of messages would make a difference to my previous post mind you. Thats just my nature i guess. Everyone is different. Id still reply. I wont abandon my morals because something gets a bit harder to do. You never know the mindset of the person sending the message, getting ignored is no fun.
You've been here just a matter of weeks, so perhaps you're unaware of a few things.
* Most single women (and some couples) receive a lot of messages. As in dozens or even hundreds a day. If they replied to every message that would take up a lot of their time.
* if you reply to a message the person can keep messaging you. Weeks later, months later. The same message even though I've said no before.
* Most of the messages are lazy one liners which show no sign they've read the profile. Why should I make an effort for someone who hasn't made an effort?
It's not about morals. It's about personal choice. Respect that.
True, all up until your last sentence. You either haven't read what i actually said properly, or you've let the previous karen who chirped up sway your view. My morals have absolutely nothing to do with anyone elses. This thread was asking what people do regarding messages. I gave MY viewpoint, my perspective on my actions and my opinion to the actions of others towards me.
I can see that having hundeds of messages would be tiresome, but I'm never going to get to that level of interest for people.
P.S you may already know but you can block messages from people who don't fit with your "looking for" details, may save you some inbox space
Calling anyone a Karen is really unnecessary. You've made a judgment about others "Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile". So that will be why others have responded as if you are judging them. Women get really touchy about this topic because guys are really critical about it constantly.
Yes I know how to manage my account thank you.
Yes a personal judgement. What i think a no reply to my message says about the recipient.
No one has a discussion any more. Always striaght in for an attack. I personally can disagree with someone's opinion and not let it ruin my day or friendship with that person.
Anyway, time for a coffee, you want one "
I just let you know reasons why women don't reply. I didn't attack you but if you're going to make judgmental comments - I think you can expect pushback.
When I first joined the site I responded to every message. Every damned one. It took me ages every night. Some guys argued with me and negotiated. Some gave me abuse or said "I didn't want you anyway". Some accepted it without comment but repeat messaged until I had to block. It wasn't worth the hassle. It wasn't worth my time or energy. My time and energy matter.
So - what does it say about me that I now don't reply to guys messaging "nice tits" or "x" or "how's you"? I think it says that I value myself.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they don’t read the profile, not to be rude but my profile states “straight”, guys can’t message me.
But one went out the other way and messaged me on Kik… which is a complete breach of my privacy. "
That is rubbish! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
When I first joined the site I responded to every message. Every damned one. It took me ages every night. Some guys argued with me and negotiated. Some gave me abuse or said "I didn't want you anyway". Some accepted it without comment but repeat messaged until I had to block. It wasn't worth the hassle. It wasn't worth my time or energy. My time and energy matter.
So - what does it say about me that I now don't reply to guys messaging "nice tits" or "x" or "how's you"? I think it says that I value myself.
"
Hell yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
But the site rules confirms that no reply means no thanks so it’s not rude at all.
Do you reply to the pizza flyer that comes through your door? Same principle…
It’s unsolicited mail being received - you’ve not asked for it so it’s not rude not responding to it
K"
The pizza flyer guys aren't sat hoping for a response from me personally. So not really the same.
I didn’t realise the site rules stated that sorry. In that case then this thread is pointless and my perspective is absolute dog poope. Please all, ignore me, justblike if I'd messaged you |
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There are many but I hate the ‘self entitled ’ ones that I mainly get from couples that think a single guy is just a living sex toy that obviously is just waiting for there message. Which normally is “ face pic please “!! Like fuck off we haven’t even had a conversation yet |
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"When they don’t read the profile, not to be rude but my profile states “straight”, guys can’t message me.
But one went out the other way and messaged me on Kik… which is a complete breach of my privacy.
That is rubbish! "
Honestly it made me feel a tadge uncomfortable!
Thankfully they’ve stopped after a polite “no thank you” but even so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they don’t read the profile, not to be rude but my profile states “straight”, guys can’t message me.
But one went out the other way and messaged me on Kik… which is a complete breach of my privacy.
That is rubbish!
Honestly it made me feel a tadge uncomfortable!
Thankfully they’ve stopped after a polite “no thank you” but even so! "
It’s really invasive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they don’t read the profile, not to be rude but my profile states “straight”, guys can’t message me.
But one went out the other way and messaged me on Kik… which is a complete breach of my privacy.
That is rubbish!
Honestly it made me feel a tadge uncomfortable!
Thankfully they’ve stopped after a polite “no thank you” but even so! "
Oh I'd have felt uncomfortable too - don't blame you. They crossed a line. |
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"When they don’t read the profile, not to be rude but my profile states “straight”, guys can’t message me.
But one went out the other way and messaged me on Kik… which is a complete breach of my privacy.
That is rubbish!
Honestly it made me feel a tadge uncomfortable!
Thankfully they’ve stopped after a polite “no thank you” but even so!
Oh I'd have felt uncomfortable too - don't blame you. They crossed a line. "
Yep, it wasn’t even a “hello”, it was a straight in comment about my pics!
Is there a way to stop folks doing that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I just let you know reasons why women don't reply. I didn't attack you but if you're going to make judgmental comments - I think you can expect pushback.
When I first joined the site I responded to every message. Every damned one. It took me ages every night. Some guys argued with me and negotiated. Some gave me abuse or said "I didn't want you anyway". Some accepted it without comment but repeat messaged until I had to block. It wasn't worth the hassle. It wasn't worth my time or energy. My time and energy matter.
So - what does it say about me that I now don't reply to guys messaging "nice tits" or "x" or "how's you"? I think it says that I value myself.
"
Ahh, sorry the attack bit wasnt aimed at you. We are actually having the conversation
I understand your reasons, and i dare say my opinion would change in that situation.
Do you have nice tits though?
Jkjk |
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
But the site rules confirms that no reply means no thanks so it’s not rude at all.
Do you reply to the pizza flyer that comes through your door? Same principle…
It’s unsolicited mail being received - you’ve not asked for it so it’s not rude not responding to it
K
The pizza flyer guys aren't sat hoping for a response from me personally. So not really the same.
I didn’t realise the site rules stated that sorry. In that case then this thread is pointless and my perspective is absolute dog poope. Please all, ignore me, justblike if I'd messaged you "
Maybe read the site rules - it will help when you make comments on the forums.
The principle is exactly the same - if we receive a message from Dave in Coventry saying he wants sex with us now - but we don’t want sex with Dave from Coventry then we can choose to ignore the message as we didn’t ask Dave to contact us - he decided to off his own back so that’s not our problem if Dave has an expectation of a reply.
Anyway, I now want pizza…but not from Dave in Coventry
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Maybe read the site rules - it will help when you make comments on the forums.
The principle is exactly the same - if we receive a message from Dave in Coventry saying he wants sex with us now - but we don’t want sex with Dave from Coventry then we can choose to ignore the message as we didn’t ask Dave to contact us - he decided to off his own back so that’s not our problem if Dave has an expectation of a reply.
Anyway, I now want pizza…but not from Dave in Coventry
K"
Haha brilliant, I'd love a pizza right now.
Dave can do one!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they don’t read the profile, not to be rude but my profile states “straight”, guys can’t message me.
But one went out the other way and messaged me on Kik… which is a complete breach of my privacy.
That is rubbish!
Honestly it made me feel a tadge uncomfortable!
Thankfully they’ve stopped after a polite “no thank you” but even so!
Oh I'd have felt uncomfortable too - don't blame you. They crossed a line.
Yep, it wasn’t even a “hello”, it was a straight in comment about my pics!
Is there a way to stop folks doing that? "
How did he get the kik name? Yes I think there is a setting so people request to chat - you can refuse |
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile."
I used to do that but after being abused and told I should count my self lucky they wanted to fuck me they were lowering my standards I decided to follow the sites FAQs and ignore any messages I wasn't interested in as a polite no thank you more often than not results in abuse and then forever being able to override any filters you have set up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it's obvious they haven't read the profile.
One word.
Lack of punctuation.
No face pic included.
Crude paragraphs about what they want to do to me.
Foul language."
^ ^
This |
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My own freedom of choice - just as it was their freedom of choice to message in the first place. I don’t see any point in replying even with a ‘no ta’ to someone I don’t want to converse with on any level.
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Blank profiles mostly and ones that aren't even picture verified. There's plenty on my profile that someone should be able to open up with at least a sentence as well, so a little bit of thought helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has taken the time to message me i will always reply no matter their username or profile, even if i just say thanks but not interested. Takes literally seconds of my time to reply. This may well be the internet, but being an actual decent guy i can't switch my manners on and off. Not replying says a hell of a lot more about that person than any username or fantasy filled profile.
I used to do that but after being abused and told I should count my self lucky they wanted to fuck me they were lowering my standards I decided to follow the sites FAQs and ignore any messages I wasn't interested in as a polite no thank you more often than not results in abuse and then forever being able to override any filters you have set up "
Yeah, I'm learning now. It's hard to believe how horrible most humans are to others. Sorry to hear you got grf off people, seems a recurring theme here |
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