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By *os19 OP Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
Today I was a pallbearer at a funeral for a very important member of my family. I was asked on the day so to my way of thinking there was no way I could refuse not that I ever would refuse any family members in their moment of grief.Out of interest has anyone else been a pallbearer or refused to be a pallbearer for whatever reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I haven’t. But sorry to hear you had been asked last minute. Could you ask perhaps at a later date why they waited to ask you? Or was it a last minute thing for all of them? |
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I have, a number of times and like you OP was asked at the last minute each time.
It is an honour to shoulder someone you love on their last journey, it is sad, and it does hurt, but it gives time to reflect on how many times they carried you through the tough times.
I am sorry for your loss OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry for your loss. A tough day. I carried my dad with my brother, but was planned. I think it’s a good thing to do. I recently and unexpectedly lost a close colleague and offered but was politely declined. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have, a number of times and like you OP was asked at the last minute each time.
It is an honour to shoulder someone you love on their last journey, it is sad, and it does hurt, but it gives time to reflect on how many times they carried you through the tough times.
I am sorry for your loss OP "
Really agree with this |
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"I carried my Son 18 months ago with 5 of his best friends. I was the 1st to hold him at his moment of birth, 27yrs 2 months and 5 days later I was the last to put him down. "
Sorry to hear no parent should have to bury their child |
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"Yes when a friend died when we were 15, both my Grandmothers funerals and all 3 of my children, nothing can prepare you for carrying a tiny white coffin"
Awful. No parent should have to bury their children sorry for all your losses |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I carried my Son 18 months ago with 5 of his best friends. I was the 1st to hold him at his moment of birth, 27yrs 2 months and 5 days later I was the last to put him down. "
I am so sorry for your loss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done it 3 times. Both of my grandmothers and my uncle last year being the most recent.
It can be tough but I consider it an honour to do so. Especially if I was from outside immediate family.
My condolences on your loss. |
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I was for my Father, and I will be for my Mother too.
If my sister goes before me then I shall for her also x
I carried my sons casket in my arms, THE hardest thing I’ve ever done was to place him down knowing I’d never hold him again  |
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"Today I was a pallbearer at a funeral for a very important member of my family. I was asked on the day so to my way of thinking there was no way I could refuse not that I ever would refuse any family members in their moment of grief.Out of interest has anyone else been a pallbearer or refused to be a pallbearer for whatever reason."
Sorry for your loss.
I was a Pallbearer at my father's funeral.
Super anxious that I'd screw it up, so grateful for the opportunity to help him on his way.
I read the eulogy too. The most emotional thing I've ever done.
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What an honour OP.
I was a palbearer alongside both my sons and husband to carry my Father in law's coffin. It was a very poignant and very emotional.
He raised his own boy and helped raise mine being such a huge part of all our lives as well as support me through everything, quite literally my rock.
I felt that we had come full circle and was now carrying the man who carried all of us through life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry for your loss OP
I was for my dad. I was determined I was doing it as it was the last thing I could do for him. We had family friends as well but they were asked in advance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When my best friend passed away I was asked and obviously agreed to this unfortunately on the day I was mess and just couldn’t pull myself together to do it, always felt guilty about it since in all honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Carrying my baby daughter's coffin was the worst moment of my life.
It's a pain that never goes x"
No it doesn't. 31 years ago and I think about it at some point every day, and it still makes me tear up. I have seen and dealt with some awful things in my life but the loss of our child has always been the hardest to deal with. |
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I have been. It was my best friend and it was absolutely heartbreaking helping him on his last journey. I remember I couldn’t see for tears when trying to change into flat shoes to do the job. I hope I never have to do it again.
Huge hugs to all xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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More times then I care to remember but the worst was for my brother I bought his body home from Afghanistan and had the honour of carrying him to his last resting place |
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"Carrying my baby daughter's coffin was the worst moment of my life.
It's a pain that never goes x
No it doesn't. 31 years ago and I think about it at some point every day, and it still makes me tear up. I have seen and dealt with some awful things in my life but the loss of our child has always been the hardest to deal with. "
It is something that I would never wish on my worst enemy, has to be one of the hardest losses ever to bear and for those who have never had to experience it, will never understand x |
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By *os19 OP Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
Well thank you to everyone who has taken the time out to contribute to this thread.Yes it was a honour to be asked as tbh I thought I maybe asked but I still didn’t expect it.Not one person on this thread has said they refused to be a pallbearer which to me shows the respect we all have for our family and friends that we would refuse. I would like to thank Sparkle74 , Thunderace , Victor71 , Diesel Dave , The Fab Social-MCR who had to bury their children that must be as hard as it gets as Bjorkish pointed out no parent should have to bury their children.Finally I was particularly touched by the words of Miss Dreavus who said I felt we had come full circle and was now carrying the man who carried all of us through life. |
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