FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What stops you?
What stops you?
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What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts  |
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Definitely fear of rejection for me. I hardly ever send a first message, the most I would do is wink and don’t even do that often.
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That I'll say something I find funny and they won't get it, then I have to go through the whole spiel of explaining it and then it becomes awkward. |
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"Definitely fear of rejection for me. I hardly ever send a first message, the most I would do is wink and don’t even do that often.
Kx"
I’d say go for it! You’re an attractive couple and i’m sure if you messaged someone first, they’d reply else they’re crazy  |
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I don't send messages at all. Haven't done in 2 years.
I've no interest in chatting to lots of people and I never gauge attraction by profiles alone.
When I was sending messages the only thing that stopped me from messaging anyone was if we had very little in common or their profile wasn't consistent. |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! |
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When I did, nothing stopped me. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. |
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aside from the obvious self esteem stuff, it’s mostly that none of the people I like on here are local and I don’t fancy wine time thing.  |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous "
Thank you lovely xxx |
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
You’re hot! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Aside from the obvious self esteem stuff, it’s mostly that none of the people I like on here are local and I don’t fancy wine time thing. "
a one time thing*. I fancy wine all the time. |
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Distance I'm the wrong age/sex/bald/size etc. This is the trouble with reading profiles before messaging  |
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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago
from the womb and tryout to get back |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous "
No one is ever punching above there weight everyone has different preferences but that is it you look amazing to me pluck up that courage and go for it you never know unless you try  |
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We're both quite shy so always been nervous but we found referrals has been best way for us before we send a message. |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous
No one is ever punching above there weight everyone has different preferences but that is it you look amazing to me pluck up that courage and go for it you never know unless you try "
Lovely of you to say so! Thank you xx |
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I think I'm a bit weird for this site because if I see something I like, whether that's something funny written on a profile or a well-taken photo or a gorgeous bit of lingerie I tend to just send a message to say so.
Yes there is a fair amount of rejection but I don't pin all my hopes to the messages I send so I'm not devastated if I'm not what they're looking for. I just like to say when I appreciate someone.
I do get a tiny minority of abusive responses and a fair chunk of messages get ignored, but I've also had great conversations and met people I'd never have bumped into otherwise because they'd never have noticed my profile while I was sitting there waiting for them to make contact.
I'm no longer actively looking on this site so the volume of messages I send has dropped significantly, but I still send them when I see something I like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to admit to being a very passive user of Fab over the years. Fortunately there's been enough people willing to send messages to not need to be proactive.
Obviously I'm talking about as a couple's profile. Nobody would ever message me individually on this profile and likewise I wouldn't bother trying to message anyone myself for the same reason.
As a couple most (maybe all) of the single men we met were via 'meet todays' so maybe that's the best strategy for single blokes. It was for us anyway  |
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
I find this very hard to believe haha |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
I find this very hard to believe haha "
Thank you |
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Nothing stops me. I always expect to be ignored or blocked (or both) so any other outcome is a bonus! |
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
Absolutely no way lady, you are gorgeous
Thank you lovely xxx"
You are beautiful, never let yourself feel inferior or not good enough for anyone, if they feel you are punching, they are stupidly egotistical |
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I see lots of profiles that I’m attracted to. I don’t tend to message because it’s likely I’d be punching 
Plus a fear of rejection I might wink but don’t often do that either |
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99% of messages go unopened, lost in a sea of “hi” messages
I’ve better things to do with my time |
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Knowing that it's a waste of time and electrons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's because I know it wouldn't go any further.
If they look out of my league, I just won't bother to message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts "
I won’t message someone I fancy if location is an issue….I find it rather pointless as I’m not into the one time thing!
If there is a person I fancy to that is local then I will most certainly wink, fab a pic and send a message in the hope that;
1. They notice it
2. They read it
3. They reply to it
It’s rare I get any of the above from the women I fancy but it hasn’t knocked my confidence yet!!
Nothing ventured…nothing gained in my opinion!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I avoid profiles who describe theirselves as 'gym fit' or talk about body image too much. I wouldn't message them or reply because I feel like they would judge my wobbly bits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only thing stopping me messaging someone I fancy, is going to be profile related. I’m not their type, don’t fit their preferences, don’t match in what we seek. |
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The time and effort I put into a message to either.
1. Be unread
2. Be ignored.
Never used to be like this on here.... dono what's changed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What ever it is I wish the ladies could get the courage up and know I woukd love their nessages.
Obviously nerves,fear of rejection or insecurity is why I never get any messages. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
Really? I find that hard to believe. |
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Confidence stops me…. I tend to look at their profile and pics of previous meets and think, well….what’s the point in bothering as I’d never measure up!!
Even if it went as far as a meet, I’d feel
Like I never quite measured up to someone else!! X
(Mrs G) x |
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Nothing really stops us.
We are looking for a giggle and some fun, not a partner or new husband / wife.
If it's a no thanks, just move on, no issue, no drama.
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
i would have thought most guys would have thought you were well out of their league and reach as a lovely sexy lady,,, |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Fear mainly.
As a transwoman (and fairly early in transitioning) who is predominantly attracted to woman, I'm not very confident.
And mentally I'm stuck at a hurdle of - if a woman wants to play with a woman, there are tons of gorgeous women on this site so why would they want a transwoman? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fear of rejection
Plus i read profiles and see if i match what they want.
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"I avoid profiles who describe theirselves as 'gym fit' or talk about body image too much. I wouldn't message them or reply because I feel like they would judge my wobbly bits. "
This is understandable but for the record, I think you have a great body! |
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"Confidence stops me…. I tend to look at their profile and pics of previous meets and think, well….what’s the point in bothering as I’d never measure up!!
Even if it went as far as a meet, I’d feel
Like I never quite measured up to someone else!! X
(Mrs G) x"
There’s definitely no harm in trying. Is there anything in particular that makes you feel less confident? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm more A sexual so I rarely message first because most profiles I've come across are hyper sexual. I need more substance lol.
I do message if I like the look of someone |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
Really? I find that hard to believe. "
Thank you for that  |
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"The time and effort I put into a message to either.
1. Be unread
2. Be ignored.
Never used to be like this on here.... dono what's changed."
Its a little more difficult now as there’s a lot more men than women so most woman get a shit tonne of messages daily. But don’t let this stop you from trying! I’m sure many women would respond to your message |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! i would have thought most guys would have thought you were well out of their league and reach as a lovely sexy lady,,, "
That's lovely, thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oooft so many things stop me - fear of rejection, imposter syndrome, lack of self esteem. I will say these things are getting better but I still very very rarely message someone I find attractive.
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts
I won’t message someone I fancy if location is an issue….I find it rather pointless as I’m not into the one time thing!
If there is a person I fancy to that is local then I will most certainly wink, fab a pic and send a message in the hope that;
1. They notice it
2. They read it
3. They reply to it
It’s rare I get any of the above from the women I fancy but it hasn’t knocked my confidence yet!!
Nothing ventured…nothing gained in my opinion!!"
It good that you don’t let it knock your confidence. There’s a lot of factors that go against us men when we send a message. I think there is no harm in sending another messages to someone, if your first message was missed and unread? |
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"Fear mainly.
As a transwoman (and fairly early in transitioning) who is predominantly attracted to woman, I'm not very confident.
And mentally I'm stuck at a hurdle of - if a woman wants to play with a woman, there are tons of gorgeous women on this site so why would they want a transwoman?"
I’m sure there are a lot of women that would be up for this! You’ve just got to have a little patience and wait for them to come  |
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"Nothing really stops us.
We are looking for a giggle and some fun, not a partner or new husband / wife.
If it's a no thanks, just move on, no issue, no drama.
"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing stands in my way.
What's the worst that could happen? They say no? Oh well! I'll suck it up and forget about it. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
What stops me is do I have time and mental energy for what might happen next. The answers usually no, it would be unfair |
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"Nothing stands in my way.
What's the worst that could happen? They say no? Oh well! I'll suck it up and forget about it. "
Yhhh but who would say no?
If anyone does say no, send them my way for questioning. |
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"What stops me is do I have time and mental energy for what might happen next. The answers usually no, it would be unfair "
I sometimes do this which is why at times I just wink at someone that I find attractive because I can’t be bothered to message 
Yep I know i’m lazy  |
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The only thing that would stop me is if a unsavoury/incompatible comment was made by him on the forums. That's rapidly stopped me in my tracks before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No point I'm ugly as hell so they would never reply anyway so why bother |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Lack of desire to. If I really, really wanted to, I'd probably put on my big girl pants and message them. For whatever reason, even casting aside my self doubt that creeps in, it boils down to me not really wanting to. |
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By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago
Starbase K-7 |
"No point I'm ugly as hell so they would never reply anyway so why bother "
The women want you for the cache of being on the arm of El Presidente, men want to be you.
Your biggest drawback is your standpoint on J-ffa C-kes. |
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything? "
Nothing. The worst thing that will happen is they don't reply. That's not going to cause me any harm |
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Nothing. The worst thing that will happen is they don't reply. That's not going to cause me any harm "
Unless their profile is clear about not liking fat birds of course |
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By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago
Starbase K-7 |
"Lack of desire to. If I really, really wanted to, I'd probably put on my big girl pants and message them. For whatever reason, even casting aside my self doubt that creeps in, it boils down to me not really wanting to. "
I'd rather women took OFF their big girl pants. |
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I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue! |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
The only time I ever message first is for a thread like a Face pic friday, where I can see people are interested in being contacted generally, otherwise I wait to see who messages me then at least I know they have some level of interest, and it doesn’t help that I’m in another country so the distance thing is a big deal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never think I would be good enough or that they would ever be interested in me |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
I tried that twice and got rejected. I didn’t see the point in doing it again after that. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Lack of desire to. If I really, really wanted to, I'd probably put on my big girl pants and message them. For whatever reason, even casting aside my self doubt that creeps in, it boils down to me not really wanting to.
I'd rather women took OFF their big girl pants. "
This is where I've been going wrong all along. I'll try and remember to take them off more offen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No point I'm ugly as hell so they would never reply anyway so why bother
The women want you for the cache of being on the arm of El Presidente, men want to be you.
Your biggest drawback is your standpoint on J-ffa C-kes."
What a load of tosh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve not sent a 1st message to someone for a long time. Especially not if they don’t use the forum. The amount of times I see “sorry bulk deleted messages” statuses. In my opinion it’s just not worth it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Either rejection or a lack of any reply at all has taught me unless I’m sure then don’t bother. It’s a waste of my time  |
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"I never think I would be good enough or that they would ever be interested in me"
Thats rubbish! Maybe I’m interested… |
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"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue! "
She’s a hard woman to please ^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because i probably had a wank instead |
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"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue!
She’s a hard woman to please ^^ "
Nah. To be honest I’m happy with what I have anyway so not really looking. Not hard to please just on the wrong site for what I wanted. I like the forums though so I’m staying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts
I won’t message someone I fancy if location is an issue….I find it rather pointless as I’m not into the one time thing!
If there is a person I fancy to that is local then I will most certainly wink, fab a pic and send a message in the hope that;
1. They notice it
2. They read it
3. They reply to it
It’s rare I get any of the above from the women I fancy but it hasn’t knocked my confidence yet!!
Nothing ventured…nothing gained in my opinion!!
It good that you don’t let it knock your confidence. There’s a lot of factors that go against us men when we send a message. I think there is no harm in sending another messages to someone, if your first message was missed and unread? "
Oh I’ll never send another message…if I’m lost amongst the thousands of others I’ll just accept and move on |
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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago
Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?) |
I only message first, and I've no issue with it... but half the time I see the distance inbetween in miles and think it's just not going to be an option 
There is only so much keyboard warrior online flirting you can do  |
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[Removed by poster at 30/01/22 20:16:05] |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue!
She’s a hard woman to please ^^
Nah. To be honest I’m happy with what I have anyway so not really looking. Not hard to please just on the wrong site for what I wanted. I like the forums though so I’m staying "
Aww you've found someone! I hope it lasts and brings you happiness. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
Really? I find that hard to believe.
Thank you for that "
The world would be a better place if people payed compliments to others. |
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Distance. Assumption they wouldn't be interested.
There are some people who I resisted messaging admiring from a far who returned my message we get on well and will hopefully get it on with.
Then there are others who've totally snubbed me after admiring from afar.
Can't win them all. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Distance, not meeting their requirement. If we feel we meet the requirements and are looking to meet then we will message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!!
Really? I find that hard to believe.
Thank you for that
The world would be a better place if people payed compliments to others. "
That would just make it more fickle and sickly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never think I would be good enough or that they would ever be interested in me
Thats rubbish! Maybe I’m interested… "
Are you? Ooh |
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By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago
Starbase K-7 |
"Lack of desire to. If I really, really wanted to, I'd probably put on my big girl pants and message them. For whatever reason, even casting aside my self doubt that creeps in, it boils down to me not really wanting to.
I'd rather women took OFF their big girl pants.
This is where I've been going wrong all along. I'll try and remember to take them off more offen. "
Glad to be of assistance! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I think they haven’t read my profile, seen I’m a large woman so I won’t be what they are looking for!
I deffo stop my own progress and it’s annoying. I would love a sexy mature LTFB
Sigh
I love sensual intimacy but then stop it
Why???? |
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I'm not looking to meet, but when I was nothing would stop me. As long as I hadn't found anything on their profile that put me off I'd just send a message. What's the worst that could happen? |
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"I’d message someone no problem. It’s finding someone I’m attracted to that’s my issue!
She’s a hard woman to please ^^
Nah. To be honest I’m happy with what I have anyway so not really looking. Not hard to please just on the wrong site for what I wanted. I like the forums though so I’m staying
Aww you've found someone! I hope it lasts and brings you happiness. "
Aw thanks Meli but no not a particular someone as such. Just very happy with life etc right now especially after the past couple years! Hope you’re good and hope to see you in manc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing
Don't ask you don't get.
If it's a no or no reply that's fine.
Had meets with ladies in past we didn't think for one minute would be interested due to us making the first move , so to speak
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Because after reading various “what do guys look for” threads on here it’s quite clear that I’m not really anyone’s type.
So I don’t bother.
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If I'm interested usually I'll message.
Recently I haven't been though as fitness is in the toilet from a back injury, lockdown and long covid. Don't want to be out of breath in a few minutes so waiting until I've got my fitness back up. |
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Never had a problem in the past messaging someone. Usually I’m a confident person where that was concerned. Just recently I’ve wondered why I’m here and what I do actually want so not been messaging anyone only general chit chat with the odd friend. The last couple of years have been tough on so many levels. Maybe there might be one on here who I should message but unsure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I generally don't message people at all now unless I have had an interaction on the forums.
Basically I gave up, got to demoralising. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Too many variables to consider like technological and interpersonal. Busy bee so I attend club nights when I can and open to hotels for those that I’ve met in person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because after reading various “what do guys look for” threads on here it’s quite clear that I’m not really anyone’s type.
So I don’t bother.
"
Nah that’s not true one bit. I’ve just looked. You’re sexy as hell and for sure my type! Also read some of your work too. Bloody amazing! I’m telling ya body and mind just… stunner |
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"Because after reading various “what do guys look for” threads on here it’s quite clear that I’m not really anyone’s type.
So I don’t bother.
"
Not so sure about that. |
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Fear of rejection and of ridicule |
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
That is highly unlikely xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely fear of rejection for me. I hardly ever send a first message, the most I would do is wink and don’t even do that often.
Kx"
They would need to be daft to reject you |
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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago
where the world takes me |
Putting aside fear of rejection - it’s fab I’m used to that - fear of cat fishing, because often too good to be true is just that |
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Rejection.
I’m too tall and too fat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts "
Nothing! Id message no problem, But i may not straight up say I fancy them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rejection.
I’m too tall and too fat "
This! |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"Rejection.
I’m too tall and too fat "
You most definitely are NOT!!! |
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"Rejection.
I’m too tall and too fat
This! "
I think you look amazing |
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"Rejection.
I’m too tall and too fat
You most definitely are NOT!!! "
I am... but thank you x |
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Rejection for sure.
I can't tell if someone is just being friendly or if they're interested unless they are blatant about it. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Nothing. In the past when someone attractive has interested me and I seem to meet their criteria i've always messaged.
Worst that can happen is a no thank you or no reply at all. Not the end of the world |
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Nothing ventured, nothing gained’
I’m quite happy to send the first message and have done so a few times, hence I’ve met some really nice guys here |
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I used to happily message people first. If I didn't get a response it didn't matter as I was never going to see the person and feel rejected.
Now I just don't message anyone as I am the Blobfish of Fab and have lost any desire to chat with anyone. |
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It's usually their distance for me and their height. I don't have an issue with height per se, but they might. So I just refrain. |
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Nothing normally but always start with general chat and see how that progresses before venturing into anything else.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained or indeed lost |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Away for Christmas |
"Nothing normally but always start with general chat and see how that progresses before venturing into anything else.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained or indeed lost "
What she said! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing. In the past when someone attractive has interested me and I seem to meet their criteria i've always messaged.
Worst that can happen is a no thank you or no reply at all. Not the end of the world "
What about now though- aren't you off the market?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm really bad at introducing myself over messages, for some reason in person I'm great but put me in front of a keyboard and my mind goes to S41t |
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if we want to message somebody, we do. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Nothing. In the past when someone attractive has interested me and I seem to meet their criteria i've always messaged.
Worst that can happen is a no thank you or no reply at all. Not the end of the world
What about now though- aren't you off the market?!"
Note use of phrase "in the past" |
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If their verifications were all from hot slim ladies, I wouldn't message,as its likely I'm not their type. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually the age filters or distance |
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
This basically. |
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I think I lack confidence in myself on hear which I weird as in person I’m not shy at all. |
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I guess a lack of self confidence too. It's strange as I don't feel I should lack confidence in myself but I do appear to when it comes to making N approach. |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
I don’t really expect a reply. |
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"Mostly because if I messaged men I was attracted to, I'd most definitely be punching above my weight & I know I'd be politely, or not-so politely rejected!! "
This |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"I think I lack confidence in myself on hear which I weird as in person I’m not shy at all."
In person your not shy at all. I go through stages where k am I chatty on here and in person shut off then do the reverse in person
At the moment I kind meh in person and meh on here which Is in between the two |
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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
Absolutely nothing if I want too I will |
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By *ellw69Man
over a year ago
Liverpool |
For me it’s the whole new experience and finding your feet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm worth noticing, I'll leave it to them to see if I'm worth a try. I'm a good distraction on their way to better things. |
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"That I'll say something I find funny and they won't get it, then I have to go through the whole spiel of explaining it and then it becomes awkward."
I’ll second this 100%! Always a conversation/ mood killer… |
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By *ysyphusMan
over a year ago
Starbase K-7 |
I'm not going to be messaging anyone at all.
I sent some fun comments, not asking for meets, etc, and got either no reply, monosyllabic replies, or emojis.
I've had one woman message me first, and she was less than pleasant in it, so I don't think I'll be wanting any more incoming like that either.
I know, I've only been here a few weeks, but it is still pretty demoralising. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not going to be messaging anyone at all.
I sent some fun comments, not asking for meets, etc, and got either no reply, monosyllabic replies, or emojis.
I've had one woman message me first, and she was less than pleasant in it, so I don't think I'll be wanting any more incoming like that either.
I know, I've only been here a few weeks, but it is still pretty demoralising."
The right person is on their way and they’re coming as fast as they can. It takes a while on fab but there’s **alright** people on here to talk to in the forums in the meantime. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts "
Nothing, normally.
C |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Rejection.
I’m too tall and too fat "
I just looked. Absolutely not!
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts "
I would text no bother... |
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The knowledge that we probably won't be able to meet for quite sometime. Or the desire to discuss with A first. Or distance. All those boring logistical things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don’t send a lot of first messages but if there was someone we really liked we would. What’s the worst that can happen? They either don’t reply or say no thanks. |
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We are quite shy when it comes to chatting online and we dont feel our personalities always come across properly, however if you saw us in a club etc we are very friendly and welcoming.
Mr Hayes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Will always say hi, if get answer then it's Great if don't then I tried |
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts
I would text no bother... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not the fear of rejection as such.
-Just reading the profile bios themselves.
Even if I find someone attractive, quite often I'll read their profile and conclude.. ok I'm not what they are looking for whatsoever.
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Usually the ones I'm attracted to are absolutely miles away from me sadly . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mostly because I'm not meeting and it's pointless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me "
I love that. That shall be my ethos. |
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Low self esteem, generally speaking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me
I love that. That shall be my ethos. "
Schrödinger's Fab experience right there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The fact I look like a bull dog licking piss of a nettle |
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By *otdave75Man
over a year ago
Chandlers Ford |
Historically- lack of confidence, scared of rejection.
Face to face - lack of confidence, scared of rejection
Here - I can be myself, talk bollox, have a laugh, if we get on great, if not … meh
Love the chatting and getting to know people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Know my limits |
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I don’t want anybody thinking I have the audacity to think I stand a chance with them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely the fear of rejection.
I do message lassies but hardy get a reply |
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Because I don't think they'd be interested.
Online I usually do message, what's the worst that can happen.
Sad when someone really ticks your boxes but they're clearly not into you! |
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts "
Their profile. What they want, who they will or won't meet etc.
Can take a no. Confident in ourselves for that. But experiance has told us there's no point barking up the wrong tree and sometimes it's obvious when something is the wrong tree so to speak.
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The only thing that would stop me would be if it was clear they didn't want to hear from me. I'm not afraid of rejection. I just want to avoid annoying or upsetting people. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Nothing stops me besides, if I'm busy, but I have a good think about it first. might even be over few days to decide |
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By *AB74Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
Rejection was the only thing that stopped me. But now if.i fancy someone I'll send them a message. If it's not reciprocated then so be it. |
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By *ogladyWoman
over a year ago
The bog |
I get it in my head that they wouldn't be interested in me.. |
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I only contact my friends on here now. I’ve not sent a direct message to a stranger on here for about 3 years. Ever since I saw screenshots of messages that are shared in an all female WhatsApp group it kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. The theme of the conversation was like ‘Here’s (insert username) and here’s his photo. He contacted me to say X,Y&Z’. Sharing private messages like that goes totally against the grain for me. |
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By *AB74Man
over a year ago
Midlands |
"I get it in my head that they wouldn't be interested in me.."
Really ?
You have a great figure and lovely eyes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That i dont chase no matter how much i want to bang there boom box |
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"Absolutely nothing if I want too I will "
Same for me,
If Ive messaged them and its deleted then I usually block them,
Clearly I'm not what they are looking for and I don't want to hassel them and send another message later on, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ambivalence, if its going to happen, it will. |
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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago
milton keynes |
"I get it in my head that they wouldn't be interested in me.."
I'm sure you get plenty of messages though ? Doesn't that help boost your confidence? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
Could it be due to fear of rejection or that they’re too far from you?
If i’m attracted to someone, I tend to just go straight in and drop a message. The way I see it is, what do I have to lose?
I’m interested to hear your thoughts "
I would always message someone that I find attractive
How else would they know
Missy |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Fear of rejection, absolutely.
It takes a lot for me to send a first message.
I think of the two most recent initial approaches I made, one was after I knew for certain that he liked me, and one was off the back of a forum thread and it took me a few days to admit I was attracted to him and had been for a long time. |
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I guess fear of rejection is at the heart of it for me, though I'd say it's not so much a fear but more of an expectation. |
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"What stops you from messaging someone that you’re attracted to, if anything?
"
Message filters. |
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"I only contact my friends on here now. I’ve not sent a direct message to a stranger on here for about 3 years. Ever since I saw screenshots of messages that are shared in an all female WhatsApp group it kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. The theme of the conversation was like ‘Here’s (insert username) and here’s his photo. He contacted me to say X,Y&Z’. Sharing private messages like that goes totally against the grain for me. "
That's pretty scummy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don't message, there's still a chance they're interested in me
I love that. That shall be my ethos.
Schrödinger's Fab experience right there "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing ventured, nothing gained...! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually too far and I don't meet her preferences in some way. |
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Available time to nurture our relationship stops me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Follow your hearts everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Follow your farts everyone. "
Thanks Jim |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you don't ask , you'll never know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of verifications put me off.. distance because it's just not practical, tracing through the veris you find sex with guys or women who fuck anybody. Stuff on their profile, but if I fancy them and they are local and seem to be looking for someone like me il always say hello or wink. I don't spend hours constructing perfect messages now for them to be ignored, better things to do with my time. |
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