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No sex please. we're....
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Yes. I tend to take people at their word until they give me reason to do otherwise.
Of course they may just not be looking for sex with me specifically, but either way is the same outcome for me of a natter without expectation. |
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Do you mean physical sex?
If so yes there are thousands of them on here, Instant gratification and wank bank collectors galore with zero intention of meeting. Makes searching for what we want particularly hard, hence why many go to socials instead to make a connection  |
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"A man tells you he's not on this site looking for sex. Would you believe him?"
I would up to the point he started asking to have sex! 
I guess people really are hear for all sorts of reasons. Some are here to meet. Some to express their ‘open/sexual’ side. Some to perv (it’s porn but with ‘real’ people). Countless other reasons beyond…
No reason not to believe someone unless they give you reason to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends on the man and depends on why. In fact that goes for anyone not just men on here. "
That's true. I asked about men specifically because it seems taken for granted that it's a 'sex' site and men are here for that only. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yes. I tend to take people at their word until they give me reason to do otherwise.
Of course they may just not be looking for sex with me specifically, but either way is the same outcome for me of a natter without expectation."
I mean in general; they're not looking for sexual encounters with anyone. Would you wonder why they're here? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yes of course. Maybe he's curious. Wanting to find out more about the world. Maybe he's lonely and likes the crap posted on the fora. Maybe he's found someone and doesn't want sex stuff. All the reasons that women are on here and aren't looking for sex. Why would men be any different?
(Yeah yeah, I know some people will lie but that's a person thing, not a gender one) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you mean physical sex?
If so yes there are thousands of them on here, Instant gratification and wank bank collectors galore with zero intention of meeting. Makes searching for what we want particularly hard, hence why many go to socials instead to make a connection "
Oooft....I see what you mean. You're right, lots of them around.
What I mean is when a man says he is here to just chat, not necessarily in the Forum. I've noticed perhaps 2 or 3 men's profiles that states, categorically, that they're not here to meet for sex but I have yet to come across a woman's that says the same. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A man tells you he's not on this site looking for sex. Would you believe him?
I would up to the point he started asking to have sex!
I guess people really are hear for all sorts of reasons. Some are here to meet. Some to express their ‘open/sexual’ side. Some to perv (it’s porn but with ‘real’ people). Countless other reasons beyond…
No reason not to believe someone unless they give you reason to. "
Ah, you see, you joked about it in your first sentence. It's an automatic reaction. |
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"Do you mean physical sex?
If so yes there are thousands of them on here, Instant gratification and wank bank collectors galore with zero intention of meeting. Makes searching for what we want particularly hard, hence why many go to socials instead to make a connection
Oooft....I see what you mean. You're right, lots of them around.
What I mean is when a man says he is here to just chat, not necessarily in the Forum. I've noticed perhaps 2 or 3 men's profiles that states, categorically, that they're not here to meet for sex but I have yet to come across a woman's that says the same."
You mustn't be paying attention. I don't generally look at mens profiles but I can honestly say I've seen dozens of womens profiles that say exactly that.
They are already meeting at clubs etc and only use the site to chat to friends etc and in some cases are unable to meet due to personal circumstances and chatting here is their way of escaping. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yes of course. Maybe he's curious. Wanting to find out more about the world. Maybe he's lonely and likes the crap posted on the fora. Maybe he's found someone and doesn't want sex stuff. All the reasons that women are on here and aren't looking for sex. Why would men be any different?
(Yeah yeah, I know some people will lie but that's a person thing, not a gender one)"
Exactly that but do you think you would wonder more about a man than a woman being here and not wanting to meet for sex? A single, available man? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes.
I chat with a lot of men that just want to chat (and look at the pictures). I really should start charging for all the counselling.
"
You need to put some boundaries in place! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yes.
I chat with a lot of men that just want to chat (and look at the pictures). I really should start charging for all the counselling.
"
Yes, yes you should. You're a very good counsellor and great company.
Welcome back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes.
I chat with a lot of men that just want to chat (and look at the pictures). I really should start charging for all the counselling.
You need to put some boundaries in place! X"
Why? If she’s happy, or maybe she has boundaries already.
|
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Yes of course. Maybe he's curious. Wanting to find out more about the world. Maybe he's lonely and likes the crap posted on the fora. Maybe he's found someone and doesn't want sex stuff. All the reasons that women are on here and aren't looking for sex. Why would men be any different?
(Yeah yeah, I know some people will lie but that's a person thing, not a gender one)
Exactly that but do you think you would wonder more about a man than a woman being here and not wanting to meet for sex? A single, available man?"
No.
Men are more than walking penises. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you mean physical sex?
If so yes there are thousands of them on here, Instant gratification and wank bank collectors galore with zero intention of meeting. Makes searching for what we want particularly hard, hence why many go to socials instead to make a connection
Oooft....I see what you mean. You're right, lots of them around.
What I mean is when a man says he is here to just chat, not necessarily in the Forum. I've noticed perhaps 2 or 3 men's profiles that states, categorically, that they're not here to meet for sex but I have yet to come across a woman's that says the same.
You mustn't be paying attention. I don't generally look at mens profiles but I can honestly say I've seen dozens of womens profiles that say exactly that.
They are already meeting at clubs etc and only use the site to chat to friends etc and in some cases are unable to meet due to personal circumstances and chatting here is their way of escaping. "
You're right. I'm afraid I wasn't being specific. I meant that a man says he isn't going to clubs and isn't meeting for sex. He is here only for the social side and it isn't because he is attached or being sated elsewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know someone who do a PhD in swinging, and this site was one of his primary forms pr research just because he could ask so many questions in a really nice way with no judgement etc.
On saying that he also had ALOT of sex while he was going his PhD |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yes of course. Maybe he's curious. Wanting to find out more about the world. Maybe he's lonely and likes the crap posted on the fora. Maybe he's found someone and doesn't want sex stuff. All the reasons that women are on here and aren't looking for sex. Why would men be any different?
(Yeah yeah, I know some people will lie but that's a person thing, not a gender one)
Exactly that but do you think you would wonder more about a man than a woman being here and not wanting to meet for sex? A single, available man?
No.
Men are more than walking penises."
Good lord!! I want to unsee that image!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know someone who do a PhD in swinging, and this site was one of his primary forms pr research just because he could ask so many questions in a really nice way with no judgement etc.
On saying that he also had ALOT of sex while he was going his PhD "
I suspect he chose his thesis subject very carefully. |
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"Do you mean physical sex?
If so yes there are thousands of them on here, Instant gratification and wank bank collectors galore with zero intention of meeting. Makes searching for what we want particularly hard, hence why many go to socials instead to make a connection
Oooft....I see what you mean. You're right, lots of them around.
What I mean is when a man says he is here to just chat, not necessarily in the Forum. I've noticed perhaps 2 or 3 men's profiles that states, categorically, that they're not here to meet for sex but I have yet to come across a woman's that says the same.
You mustn't be paying attention. I don't generally look at mens profiles but I can honestly say I've seen dozens of womens profiles that say exactly that.
They are already meeting at clubs etc and only use the site to chat to friends etc and in some cases are unable to meet due to personal circumstances and chatting here is their way of escaping.
You're right. I'm afraid I wasn't being specific. I meant that a man says he isn't going to clubs and isn't meeting for sex. He is here only for the social side and it isn't because he is attached or being sated elsewhere."
As others have already said I don't see anything wrong or unusual with that scenario and it's no different to a woman doing likewise.
We aren't all here for the same thing and that's what makes the site so diverse and successful |
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"Yes of course. Maybe he's curious. Wanting to find out more about the world. Maybe he's lonely and likes the crap posted on the fora. Maybe he's found someone and doesn't want sex stuff. All the reasons that women are on here and aren't looking for sex. Why would men be any different?
(Yeah yeah, I know some people will lie but that's a person thing, not a gender one)
Exactly that but do you think you would wonder more about a man than a woman being here and not wanting to meet for sex? A single, available man?
No.
Men are more than walking penises."
 |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Depends on the man and depends on why. In fact that goes for anyone not just men on here.
That's true. I asked about men specifically because it seems taken for granted that it's a 'sex' site and men are here for that only."
I don't take anything for granted on here and when I chat to people them I usually find out fairly quickly what they want. People are on here for lots of different reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Haha in fairness to him he was just really interested in like the laws of attraction and the psychology of it, I found his paper really interesting to read, he analysed different personality traits and then tried to predict what they would be looking for in a sexual partner |
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"I know someone who do a PhD in swinging, and this site was one of his primary forms pr research just because he could ask so many questions in a really nice way with no judgement etc.
On saying that he also had ALOT of sex while he was going his PhD "
As long as it wasn’t at Sydney University! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you mean physical sex?
If so yes there are thousands of them on here, Instant gratification and wank bank collectors galore with zero intention of meeting. Makes searching for what we want particularly hard, hence why many go to socials instead to make a connection
Oooft....I see what you mean. You're right, lots of them around.
What I mean is when a man says he is here to just chat, not necessarily in the Forum. I've noticed perhaps 2 or 3 men's profiles that states, categorically, that they're not here to meet for sex but I have yet to come across a woman's that says the same.
You mustn't be paying attention. I don't generally look at mens profiles but I can honestly say I've seen dozens of womens profiles that say exactly that.
They are already meeting at clubs etc and only use the site to chat to friends etc and in some cases are unable to meet due to personal circumstances and chatting here is their way of escaping.
You're right. I'm afraid I wasn't being specific. I meant that a man says he isn't going to clubs and isn't meeting for sex. He is here only for the social side and it isn't because he is attached or being sated elsewhere.
As others have already said I don't see anything wrong or unusual with that scenario and it's no different to a woman doing likewise.
We aren't all here for the same thing and that's what makes the site so diverse and successful"
This is what I thought too. I never gave it much thought. I find it fascinating when people ask me. I haven't quite found the answer yet, I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hahahaha that’s a good one! I think it was Swansea? But it was about 5/6 years ago now so I can’t really remember, if anyone’s interested I could try and find the paper just let me know |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Depends on the man and depends on why. In fact that goes for anyone not just men on here.
That's true. I asked about men specifically because it seems taken for granted that it's a 'sex' site and men are here for that only.
I don't take anything for granted on here and when I chat to people them I usually find out fairly quickly what they want. People are on here for lots of different reasons. "
Thanks. That's reassuring. I think Forum members are more open to conversing and being social perhaps. In general Fab, they're rather more perplexed about it, it seems. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Haha in fairness to him he was just really interested in like the laws of attraction and the psychology of it, I found his paper really interesting to read, he analysed different personality traits and then tried to predict what they would be looking for in a sexual partner "
All very useful for the algorithm of a dating app. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know someone who do a PhD in swinging, and this site was one of his primary forms pr research just because he could ask so many questions in a really nice way with no judgement etc.
On saying that he also had ALOT of sex while he was going his PhD
As long as it wasn’t at Sydney University! "
Aren't they the only ones allowed to conduct any studies on sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Haha algorithms I could nerd out to all day! Tinders algorithm is so easy to break it’s unreal…I think a part of me genuinely gets turned on a bit by maths |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haha algorithms I could nerd out to all day! Tinders algorithm is so easy to break it’s unreal…I think a part of me genuinely gets turned on a bit by maths "
I don't see why not. What's it called, that orgasm woman have from reading? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Yes.
I chat with a lot of men that just want to chat (and look at the pictures). I really should start charging for all the counselling.
You need to put some boundaries in place! X"
I focus too much on empathy and congruence.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Yes.
I chat with a lot of men that just want to chat (and look at the pictures). I really should start charging for all the counselling.
Yes, yes you should. You're a very good counsellor and great company.
Welcome back."
It's a charitable act.  |
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