It's been a few months now since me and my ex split after over 20 years together.
I'm happy living alone for the first time in my life and I'm 100% not looking for a relationship but sometimes I wish I had someone there to share the silence with in those moments where there's nothing happening, normally late at night and often when I'm trying to goto sleep
I've never lived alone before so I'm not certain what to do about those sudden moments of loneliness
Anyone have any suggestions?
(Can't have pets due to work or I'd have at least a couple of hundred lol)
Thanks peeps x  |
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Radio, when I had our first child an older neighbour said that Radio 4 was great company. I didn't fully understand what she meant until I found myself alone with a small human after years of being in a busy office. Having a voice in the background makes a difference  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can feel very empty in the darkest of night and the silence can be deafening. I have no solutions for you because I struggle with them too but it gets better with time. Be patient and good luck. |
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Yep I know what you mean come out of a sexless relationship just beforethefirst lockdown, the relationship was 1q years ,I know what you saying about the aloneness and not working now and only 1 friend and family felling apart, it will get better when and how long can not say ,there are a few out there on here that will chat and it's help a bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can chat to me, I’m often up til the silly hours, I’ve turned into my mum who never went to bed before 4am… we might never meet, but there’s always good chat |
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By *JB1954Man
over a year ago
Reading |
My wife passed away during the past two years. Last Christmas was the first ever on my own. What has been the winter months has made things worse . Dark nights etc. So people indoors . I have found that people were messaging me daily / weekly for a while after wife passed away. Now only occasional messages . Yes very lonely life at the moment . |
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"It's been a few months now since me and my ex split after over 20 years together.
I'm happy living alone for the first time in my life and I'm 100% not looking for a relationship but sometimes I wish I had someone there to share the silence with in those moments where there's nothing happening, normally late at night and often when I'm trying to goto sleep
I've never lived alone before so I'm not certain what to do about those sudden moments of loneliness
Anyone have any suggestions?
(Can't have pets due to work or I'd have at least a couple of hundred lol)
Thanks peeps x "
i have always believed that all people have either a cat or dog temperament,, a cat is happy on its own where a dog is happier in a pack or 2 or more,,  your pack is now gone and you are a loner,,  you need to find some local social groups to meet and do maybe sports theatre etc where you have just enough human contact for now to keep you happy and decide which of the 2 roads to take 1/ stay single 2/ find another person to join your pack,,   |
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"You can chat to me, I’m often up til the silly hours, I’ve turned into my mum who never went to bed before 4am… we might never meet, but there’s always good chat "
Thank you for your kind offer - please say hello as I'd love to chat to you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been there and got the T-shirt so I feel your pain. It will get easier with time I can assure you. The nights are the worst or sure; never cracked dealing with that completely myself. |
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"Maybe try a new hobby, join social media groups and chat about interests. There are many things you can do its just taking that first step "
I think that's the problem...
I have a full life, I have grown children I see regularly, I work full time, getting back into keeping fit, just finished another degree, I've moved close to my extended family who I see all the time and I have various hobbies
It's just a sense of being by myself in the world.
It's been months since the breakup, we still see each other weekly (just as friends, and that's fine it really is, I'm not longing to be back with them - quite the opposite) but it still feels like I'm just working away from home.
Maybe I just need someone to hug as I do miss the cuddles, those none sexual hugs that just make you feel that someone is there for you.
Any well built guys or gals need a cuddle buddy feel free to let me know.
Platonic is totally fine with me, I think I just need unspoken human contact.
Thanks again everybody for the suggestions and comments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe try a new hobby, join social media groups and chat about interests. There are many things you can do its just taking that first step
I think that's the problem...
I have a full life, I have grown children I see regularly, I work full time, getting back into keeping fit, just finished another degree, I've moved close to my extended family who I see all the time and I have various hobbies
It's just a sense of being by myself in the world.
It's been months since the breakup, we still see each other weekly (just as friends, and that's fine it really is, I'm not longing to be back with them - quite the opposite) but it still feels like I'm just working away from home.
Maybe I just need someone to hug as I do miss the cuddles, those none sexual hugs that just make you feel that someone is there for you.
Any well built guys or gals need a cuddle buddy feel free to let me know.
Platonic is totally fine with me, I think I just need unspoken human contact.
Thanks again everybody for the suggestions and comments. "
Take comfort in the factit's only been a few months man. On this topic that's not long at all and I guess unfortunately it can take longer. Just remember though that every day that goes by you are getting stronger. You might realise it after another length of time when you look back and think, wow, those loneliness spells have gotten less frequent.
Face the void rather than trying to fill it, soon you'll realise it's not that bleak after all.
Me, I'm always happy to chat bollocks so anytime dude! |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
"It's been a few months now since me and my ex split after over 20 years together.
I'm happy living alone for the first time in my life and I'm 100% not looking for a relationship but sometimes I wish I had someone there to share the silence with in those moments where there's nothing happening, normally late at night and often when I'm trying to goto sleep
I've never lived alone before so I'm not certain what to do about those sudden moments of loneliness
Anyone have any suggestions?
(Can't have pets due to work or I'd have at least a couple of hundred lol)
Thanks peeps x "
I know the feeling- I've been single for 2 years from a 22 year relationship. My child is at uni & my best mate now has a fella.
99% of the time, I'm fine. I have a challenging, absorbing job & I'm pretty self sufficient...but every now & again, I miss having someone to chat to, watch a movie with, go shopping or out for a coffee, etc. It's not a nice feeling but I just keep reminding myself that it's better than where I was, in an unhappy marriage. |
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"As per other posts, you get use to it
Look at the positives too, like returning home after a busy day and being able to relax, no distractions "
I'm coming to the conclusion that I miss being needed. I've got no one to feed or clear up afterwards.
I know this sounds like a good thing but it's been my identity my whole life.
Reinventing myself at this age is daunting.
It doesn't help when "We've only just begun" by The Carpenters keeps being used on adverts.
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