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Funniest sexual moment or encounter

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By *atsausage OP   Man  over a year ago

CHICHESTER

Go...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Told him a knock knock joke as he came through the back door.

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By *ancer36Woman  over a year ago

Stirling

Years back I was dating someone who’s family were very religious, they didn’t allow us to sleep in the same room however they would bugger off to church every Sunday and we would go at it like rabbits in there absence…

One Sunday we were in a 69 on the dining room table - one of those old style tables that folds out and collapses in the middle, well let’s say things got a bit heated and the table collapses, enveloping us both inside, just at that the door swings open and his mother is greeted with my face buried in her sons crotch!

She fucking loved me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was using a small vibrator in a meet who was on all fours on the bed

(They didn’t want noise as wanted to be discrete)

I put it in the pillow to take over with fingers

It fell to the laminate floor and because it was a hard plastic vibratory it made a hell of a noise on the laminate

I tried to get it and it just set off under the bed rattling like hell

I had to get in the floor go under the bed like a mechanic to finally grasp the noisy little sod

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By *atch0101Man  over a year ago

Here

Happened in the early 90s. Mate was seeing a girl from Luton who was visiting her friend Mandy. Nagged me to have a blind date to make a foursome. At first I wasn't interested but then agreed.

A few drinks in a pub then back to the friends house. My pal Dean went upstairs for a bit of "How's yer father" leaving me and this Mandy downstairs.

Ended up fucking on her sofa, then the living room door open and a chink of hallway light came in.

"Fuck off Dean. If you've finished that's your problem" I said in mid thrust to which a voice said " Sorry I need to get my lunch".

I'm there between her legs watching this bloke walk through the living room into another door that led to the kitchen, light flicked on then off then came back through apologising again as he headed for the other door.

I'm still between her legs and once he was gone I looked down at her and she started giggling. "Thats my husband. He's a milkman" hence getting his lunch at 2 in the morning

No it wasnt some arrangement. They were split, amicable as friends, he had a girlfriend and was moving out when he could afford it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wouldn’t say funny more awkward than anything

Meet a guy on fab we done the deeds

About 4-5 months later

Started dateing someone from a vinilla date site

Things got serious was invited to family dinner night

Let’s just say I had all ready meet her dad bit awkward to say the least felt sorry for her mum knowing her dad was stepping out on her

Didn’t have the hart to tell her

Wasn’t invited back she made exuse why I wasn’t invited

I sed it’s ok I don’t think your parents like me

She would say no it’s not that it’s just bl bl bl

Glade it fizzled out with her going to work in Spain

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By *atsausage OP   Man  over a year ago

CHICHESTER

I was dating a girl many moons ago who lived at her parents.

Beautiful girl and incredible body. One evenings she asked me to come round and she had nothing on but knee high rainbow socks on.

We got down to business and my face was buried inside her pussy.

Mouth open and tongue working the clit.

Next thing I know I held her ankles in each hand and went back down to find she let off an enormous fanny fart in my face and mouth.

I wasn't bothered by it but let's say the relationship ended that night by her

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