A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born, "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said, "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a pussy, not a photo-copier.!!!" |
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A shopkeeper advertises "Sales assistant/handyman wanted" in his shop window..
After a few a hours go by a young simple lad walks in and says id like to apply for the job advertised in your window.
SHOPKEEPER : Have you any previous experience?
SIMPLE LAD : No not in a shop but i am handy because i live just around the corner.
SHOPKEEPER : ha ha ok ill give you a trial .
I will serve this customer and you follow my lead on the next 1.
CUSTOMER: Hello sir i'de like to buy some grass seed
SHOPKEEPER : GREAT would you likd to purchase a lawn mower with the seed because once it grows your need to cut it.
CUSTOMER : oh ok go on then..
So the Simple Lad then stands behind the counter as another customer walks in.
CUSTOMER WHISPERS: I'de like to buy some tampons
SIMPLE LAD : What?
CUSTOMER : My wifes on her you know whats ide like to buy some tampons for her.
SIMPLE LAD : OH....Ok would you like to buy a lawn mower with that?
CUSTOMER :WHY?
SIMPLE LAD : Well your weekends fucked you might as well cut the grass. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi.
Bit cheesy that one^
Or one I learned at the age of 7 playing a kids game when someone, clearly much older than 7, said in the chat:
'Marriage is like a tornado, starts with sucking and blowing but in the end you lose the house'
Me being the boy genius that I was... ran down to tell my mum and dad what I'd just read thinking it was funny but not knowing why... oops. |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
"A shopkeeper advertises "Sales assistant/handyman wanted" in his shop window..
After a few a hours go by a young simple lad walks in and says id like to apply for the job advertised in your window.
SHOPKEEPER : Have you any previous experience?
SIMPLE LAD : No not in a shop but i am handy because i live just around the corner.
SHOPKEEPER : ha ha ok ill give you a trial .
I will serve this customer and you follow my lead on the next 1.
CUSTOMER: Hello sir i'de like to buy some grass seed
SHOPKEEPER : GREAT would you likd to purchase a lawn mower with the seed because once it grows your need to cut it.
CUSTOMER : oh ok go on then..
So the Simple Lad then stands behind the counter as another customer walks in.
CUSTOMER WHISPERS: I'de like to buy some tampons
SIMPLE LAD : What?
CUSTOMER : My wifes on her you know whats ide like to buy some tampons for her.
SIMPLE LAD : OH....Ok would you like to buy a lawn mower with that?
CUSTOMER :WHY?
SIMPLE LAD : Well your weekends fucked you might as well cut the grass."
 |
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"A shopkeeper advertises "Sales assistant/handyman wanted" in his shop window..
After a few a hours go by a young simple lad walks in and says id like to apply for the job advertised in your window.
SHOPKEEPER : Have you any previous experience?
SIMPLE LAD : No not in a shop but i am handy because i live just around the corner.
SHOPKEEPER : ha ha ok ill give you a trial .
I will serve this customer and you follow my lead on the next 1.
CUSTOMER: Hello sir i'de like to buy some grass seed
SHOPKEEPER : GREAT would you likd to purchase a lawn mower with the seed because once it grows your need to cut it.
CUSTOMER : oh ok go on then..
So the Simple Lad then stands behind the counter as another customer walks in.
CUSTOMER WHISPERS: I'de like to buy some tampons
SIMPLE LAD : What?
CUSTOMER : My wifes on her you know whats ide like to buy some tampons for her.
SIMPLE LAD : OH....Ok would you like to buy a lawn mower with that?
CUSTOMER :WHY?
SIMPLE LAD : Well your weekends fucked you might as well cut the grass."
|
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"A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born, "I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said, "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a pussy, not a photo-copier.!!!""
I'm stealing this one |
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bloody brilliant loved it 