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Guys would you intervene if you see someone being harassed
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 ...however she also mentioned that there were other men there at the bus stop, but none of them stood up and said anything, and that men today are more cowardly.
Now I will tell you exactly what I said to her...As a man, and especially if someone I personally know is being harassed, I would immediately intervene, no questions asked, however if it's someone I do not know, and no physical contact was made by the two parties, I need to be extremely careful and asses the situation correctly and not risk creating a physical altercation by intervening, because men that have no problem harassing a woman in public, are more likely to respond with aggression towards any man that dares to intervene. Before any keyboard warrior comes in and mentions " a real man wouldn't be scared to stand up", let me make it clear, I have been practicing martial arts all my life, and fought in the cage multiple times...I am not afraid of any altercation, however I am terrified of the consequences of having a physical altercation in the streets.
I had two experiences where I was in such a position, where I intervened when a woman was harassed, and both times I was as respectful as possible to the other guy and just politely told him she is not comfortable and he should just let it go...both times I ended up in a fight, and one of the fights was so bad that the police came and both of us ended up on handcuffs, whilst that lady just ran away.
So I would like to know from the guys...if you would see a woman being harassed by a man or group of men, would you intervene? And are you aware of the potential consequences?
And ladies if you would be in that position of being harassed and other men would be there, would you expect them to intervene? | |||
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"I would intervene in respect of approaching her, chatting to her calmly and offering reassurence. I would offer to walk her somewhere safe but would do my best not to engage with the people causing the issue for fear of making things worse. There are too many idiots on the streets these days....however, I would be prepared to defend that person and/or myself should it be necessary. I could not walk by "That’s a good approach | |||
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"Yes I would hope someone would intervene. Whether that's calling the police and hanging back to make sure I was OK or something else. I know people can be incredibly unpredictable and I wouldn't expect someone to put themselves in danger. I am, however, the kind of twat who puts myself in danger for others, and God help any blokes who are picking on women when I'm passing. " I can’t stand by and not do anything. A little different but I once saw a girl absolutely giving another teenage girl hell, threatening her, swearing at her, calling her all the names under the sun - all very loudly, no doubt to look good in front of her friends. She was sobbing. I went over to check she was ok. I knew the fear she felt and just wanted to let her know I’d been there and the other girl was an idiot. Just wanted to give her a huge hug x | |||
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"Yes I would hope someone would intervene. Whether that's calling the police and hanging back to make sure I was OK or something else. I know people can be incredibly unpredictable and I wouldn't expect someone to put themselves in danger. I am, however, the kind of twat who puts myself in danger for others, and God help any blokes who are picking on women when I'm passing. I can’t stand by and not do anything. A little different but I once saw a girl absolutely giving another teenage girl hell, threatening her, swearing at her, calling her all the names under the sun - all very loudly, no doubt to look good in front of her friends. She was sobbing. I went over to check she was ok. I knew the fear she felt and just wanted to let her know I’d been there and the other girl was an idiot. Just wanted to give her a huge hug x" I live by the "if that was my child, what would I hope someone else would do?" Everyone is someone's child. | |||
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"Yes I would hope someone would intervene. Whether that's calling the police and hanging back to make sure I was OK or something else. I know people can be incredibly unpredictable and I wouldn't expect someone to put themselves in danger. I am, however, the kind of twat who puts myself in danger for others, and God help any blokes who are picking on women when I'm passing. I can’t stand by and not do anything. A little different but I once saw a girl absolutely giving another teenage girl hell, threatening her, swearing at her, calling her all the names under the sun - all very loudly, no doubt to look good in front of her friends. She was sobbing. I went over to check she was ok. I knew the fear she felt and just wanted to let her know I’d been there and the other girl was an idiot. Just wanted to give her a huge hug x I live by the "if that was my child, what would I hope someone else would do?" Everyone is someone's child." I’m exactly the same | |||
"I would intervene in respect of approaching her, chatting to her calmly and offering reassurence. I would offer to walk her somewhere safe but would do my best not to engage with the people causing the issue for fear of making things worse. There are too many idiots on the streets these days....however, I would be prepared to defend that person and/or myself should it be necessary. I could not walk by
That’s a good approach "A guy who is originaly from London (where the incidenttook place) who works in our accounts department took that exact tactic you described. Unfortunately that approach seem to really enrage the group of young men (the fact they were been ignored?) and he was grabbed and held whilst they carved a gash from just under his left eye down to his cheek bone following a S motion. It's been ten years, numerous operations and counselling but he has finally reached a place where he has learned to live with what happened to him and move forward in his life. Food for thought. In my younger days I thought nothing of jumping into these situations to try and help but my experiences and those of others like they guy mentioned above make me think first and act far more cautiously. KJ | |||
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"I would intervene in respect of approaching her, chatting to her calmly and offering reassurence. I would offer to walk her somewhere safe but would do my best not to engage with the people causing the issue for fear of making things worse. There are too many idiots on the streets these days....however, I would be prepared to defend that person and/or myself should it be necessary. I could not walk by
That’s a good approach
A guy who is originaly from London (where the incidenttook place) who works in our accounts department took that exact tactic you described.
Unfortunately that approach seem to really enrage the group of young men (the fact they were been ignored?) and he was grabbed and held whilst they carved a gash from just under his left eye down to his cheek bone following a S motion.
It's been ten years, numerous operations and counselling but he has finally reached a place where he has learned to live with what happened to him and move forward in his life.
Food for thought.
In my younger days I thought nothing of jumping into these situations to try and help but my experiences and those of others like they guy mentioned above make me think first and act far more cautiously.
KJ"Jesus Christ seems no approach seems a good idea when there’s some out there just looking for an excuse to fight/attack. That poor man | |||
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"I have done on several occasions. Mostly it's been one man on a woman, but a couple of times it was a small group of men being really verbally aggressive against a couple of women who have ignored their abusive advances. It doesn't always work out how you think. *** One time I physically got between a couple when he started pushing her, only for her to have a go at me. I left that loving couple to it! " *** She may have done that so she didn't get a worse kicking when he got her home. | |||
"Reading some of these stories - Christ. I would not want anyone to be hurt because of me and I know that a male who intervened would be more likely to be attacked. I'd hope anyone witnessing an attack would call for help and not stand by. " But how fast do you think the police would arrive there...and how fast is a physical attack. It's just a gamble at that point and Hope nothing happens until the police arrives. Screaming at them you are calling the police or you just called the police is also a gamble, some would coward and go away, others would attack you... | |||
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I headed towards him as they got in the car and he backed off, so did I. The Tgirl said the guy just grabbed her arm and in terror (she was very slight and he was a big guy)she just went with him. My shout had convinced her to get away.
In female mode I tend to change I can be a bit braver and not as shy. It takes a bit of courage to walk out dressed as a woman, so any shit I find I’m in, I’ll generally face up to it.
However as a guy I’d have walked by and not intervened. Also as a guy I don’t think I would have realised she was in danger. So in some way when I’m dressed I’m more aware of the risks and able to recognise when something looks or feels off. | |||
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"I have done on several occasions. Mostly it's been one man on a woman, but a couple of times it was a small group of men being really verbally aggressive against a couple of women who have ignored their abusive advances. It doesn't always work out how you think. *** One time I physically got between a couple when he started pushing her, only for her to have a go at me. I left that loving couple to it! *** She may have done that so she didn't get a worse kicking when he got her home. " Yep, violence is all about men. Even when a woman is violent to a man it's a man's fault somewhere along the line 
And we wonder why it is that although women are twice a likely to report domestic abuse, men are twice as likely not to report when it happens - because inevitably someone will find a way to blame them.
Mr | |||
"No-one intervened when our son was assaulted on a bus just over a year ago. Other people chose to move seats and sat by as our son was kicked, punched and stamped in the head. The bus driver did not stop or intervene. When the police finally took it seriously (because they didn't at first), the bus company handed over CCTV but told their driver not to give evidence. The company did not cooperate. No-one came forward as a witness. Getting it to court and securing a measly conviction of the perpetrator took all our son's mental strength and effort, all during the COVID lockdowns. The court hearing was 4 days his Great Grandad died. Only CCTV footage (masks worn) and no bystander or driver input meant some allegations could not be proven. I was very disappointed that no-one stopped to help my son. He had a broken cheekbone, broken nose, broken eye socket and defensive injuries to his arm. Even A&E didn't want to know FFS. I used to be quick to step in to all sorts of situations, probably without thinking it through. I am a bit more cautious nowadays with being a wheelchair user but if I saw a person stamping on another person's head on the bus, I couldn't sit by and watch. That I do know. " OMG I'm so sorry to see of that happening to your son.. what a truly awful thing to happen! You'd think on a bus a few passengers would get together to stop it..but no one wants to make the first move...they are scared and should be but still...it's really sad times when this can happen to anyone. | |||
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"So many people are now concerned about repercussions that people just don’t intervene. As a 9 stone nothing, 5 foot 5 woman I once stopped a taxi driver from taking a beating from two d*unk men. High street was full of other people, including all the staff of men from a take away who came out to stare but said and did nothing. Not only did I stand toe to toe with one of the morons but I also called the police, gave a statement and was helpful in making sure the dickheads were charged. The taxi driver and his family passed their thanks to me via the police because he genuinely didn’t think he’d have made it home that night if someone hadn’t stepped in to challenge those two men. Now, if I hadn’t had a couple of drinks in me then maybe I wouldn’t have gone marching over shouting at them to stop but as someone who has been assaulted (more than once) in situations where someone could have helped but no one ever did, I can’t walk on by. I’ve gone running out the house in the pitch black to check on someone before because I heard a woman screaming coming out of the alleyway near ours. I didn’t even think about me, I was thinking about some girl not making it home and her family worrying all night and the news the next day and how I’d feel knowing I could have done something but didn’t. That’s someone’s sibling, someone’s friend, someone’s child. I’d hope if someone I loved was in that situation and I wasn’t there, a stranger would help them. Of course the other side of this is that if more people called men out on their bullshit during conversations then maybe they’d be less inclined to ever step it up a notch and become harassing in the first place. How many men discuss conquests and speak about women in a degrading way and are never pulled up on it by their mates?? C x" ....OK a few things here, the question was about a circumstance where the physical altercation has not happened yet, because that is the whole different scenario, second...a woman is less likely to be assault physically by men in public, third thing...let's say a physical altercation does happen and you hit one of them or just push them ( even in self defence ) and the d*unk full falls and hits his head on the pavement and is in a coma now or even worse dies, you think that has no consequences on your future? Also men that have respect towards women are not friends with men that have no respect towards women... | |||
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"Reading some of these stories - Christ. I would not want anyone to be hurt because of me and I know that a male who intervened would be more likely to be attacked. I'd hope anyone witnessing an attack would call for help and not stand by. But how fast do you think the police would arrive there...and how fast is a physical attack. It's just a gamble at that point and Hope nothing happens until the police arrives. Screaming at them you are calling the police or you just called the police is also a gamble, some would coward and go away, others would attack you... " I don't know. I wouldn't intervene myself in a fight because my kids need their mother. I think before I had kids I was far more prepared to wade in. I would intervene if men were hassling a woman because I think it's possible to do that without taking things up a notch "hi, so long since I've seen you! Let's talk and walk" etc. I'd try that. I think filming what's happening may attract an attack but it might also distract those being violent. Same as saying you're calling the police. Each situation is different. | |||
"I'd like to think they'd intervene but would understand if they were reluctant to do so. I think guys are kinda damned if they do and damned if they don't in some situations." Yes. Very much this. | |||
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"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. " Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said" I actually don’t care that you’re disgusted by what I said. I’m more disgusted by the cowards who stood there and did fuck all, not even call the police. | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. " I really disagree with this. | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. I really disagree with this." Most will disagree with me. And that’s fine. | |||
"And lovers of the underdog." There is just something that I love about Glasgow. I can't put my finger on it as there are so many facets to it. The people are warm and friendly, even when 2 certain teams are playing one another. But most of all I just like wander around the streets and soaking the city in. | |||
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"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. I really disagree with this. Most will disagree with me. And that’s fine." There is absolutely no excuse for it. Too many people just look away nowadays and don't help others. Your attitude towards it might come from your native city, where they certaiy don't stand for bull shit or agression towards others, especially women. Glasgow has an undeserved reputation. | |||
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"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said" Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting " Dieu didn't use the word disgusting. | |||
I offered to walk the guy to his house in case the biker and his mates came back | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said I actually don’t care that you’re disgusted by what I said. I’m more disgusted by the cowards who stood there and did fuck all, not even call the police." No? | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting " Females rarely on the receiving end of physical violence? Are you having a laugh? | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said I actually don’t care that you’re disgusted by what I said. I’m more disgusted by the cowards who stood there and did fuck all, not even call the police. No?" Fair | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting Females rarely on the receiving end of physical violence? Are you having a laugh?" I think anyone with a brain, and even posters on this thread can agree. A guy is much more likely to face physical violence for stepping in then a female. That’s why it’s so easy for you to judge Typical toxic femininity “You must endanger your life for a stranger or you aren’t a man” | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting Females rarely on the receiving end of physical violence? Are you having a laugh?" When it comes to street violence - yes, women are unlikely to be attacked or hurt. This was the context. My gut wants to urge anyone to intervene and not stand by - but the stories here of those who did intervene turn my stomach. | |||
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"I’m actually pleasantly surprised how many women on here have seen this from a guys perspective. That feeling that you should step in, but at the same time worrying you’ll get your head stamped on for damaging the guys fragile ego. It’s refreshing to see those thoughts we have echoed by women, and a general understanding of the moral conundrum you can find yourself in Shame not everyone sees it that way, but obviously progress is being made " Stepping in doesn't mean you have to "STEP IN" Calling the old bill counts. Doing something, anything other than turning a blind eye counts. | |||
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"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting " To be fair it's not the first time she shames men or calls them "not real men" just because they don't act or behave the way she wants...she also has stated numerous times in other threads how she is a strong independent woman and doesn't need a man, yet under these circumstances she expects men to jump in harms way to protect women, a bit hypocritical...anyways I'm sure she doesn't care about what I have to say , and that's cool ...but she seems slightly closed minded and I prefer not to interact to people like that, so will just ignore her from now on (and I'm sure she won't mind or care). All the best to her | |||
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Look folks, I am not saying that I am in the right. I do not blame others for thinking I am in the wrong. I understand your reservations over intervening in these situations. It is a difficult one.
However it cannot help how I feel on this, nor the strength of my feelings.
It is simply not right to ignore someone in need. I recently stood up for a teenage boy who was being hassled by other teens on the bus! I just feel sick for people in dire straits, and empathise with how panicked they must feel at that moment.
Make of that what you will. But I do suspect there’s some defensive projection going on in this thread.
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"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. " Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. | |||
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"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. " I wasn't trying to turn it men against women, I was trying to point out it was the virtual equivalent of the OP's question and relate it to some of the responses that have been posted. | |||
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"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. " With hindsight my last 2 sentences were unfair. | |||
"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. I wasn't trying to turn it men against women, I was trying to point out it was the virtual equivalent of the OP's question and relate it to some of the responses that have been posted. " But that's just not accurate. Calling it the equivalent of attacking a woman. That's not happened. | |||
"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. I wasn't trying to turn it men against women, I was trying to point out it was the virtual equivalent of the OP's question and relate it to some of the responses that have been posted. " But it really isn't...my question relates to harassment, the comments exchange on the forum are a disagreement in opinion...and as you can see both parties have stated their opinion and than moved one....why are you trying to stir up s*it now  | |||
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"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Have you not read the comments posted on here from others?.some of the stories are truly shocking and have left good honest people disfigured and experiencing mental health problems as a result of intervention. I’ve experienced the good bad and ugly regarding these situations. Thankfully most of them have resulted in me being able to work away unscathed because I seem to possess the gift of the gab. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said I actually don’t care that you’re disgusted by what I said. I’m more disgusted by the cowards who stood there and did fuck all, not even call the police." | |||
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"...and when I say harassed I don't mean physically assaulted or harassed, but verbally. Also let's say that person is a woman and the people doing the harassment are a group of men ( and they also make sexual remarks). Now this is a sensitive topic and I would appreciate people take it as such. This morning I had a conversation with one of my female colleagues about how she was out last night and a group of guys started harassing her and her friend at a bus stop. She mentioned that it became so uncomfortable she started crying and shouting at them. It made me feel horrible for her ...however she also mentioned that there were other men there at the bus stop, but none of them stood up and said anything, and that men today are more cowardly.
"I have intervened often and only once have I paid the price for doing so A friends party I was visiting at the time. As I stopped a lady that I didnt know being verbally assaulted and assaulted by this bloke unbeknown to me that it was her husband. I was told this afterwards as I dont remember the night or a thing of that night. Still dont to this day. He walked away from her then turned and went for me assaulting me, putting me in hospital. Thats just one bloke but when theres a few just one speaking up can cost you dearly. Like a pack of jackals enough to seriously hurt you or even hospitalise you for it. This lady has said thankyou and in end she divourced him and no longer has anything to do with him. Shes doing fine as we do meet from time to time. | |||
"Personally I don’t feel that “I can’t help how I feel” is a good reason to just keep on with the toxic femininity But that’s how things go with the older crowds. You can’t change someone’s mindset when they’ve lived that way for so long. My grandparents had crazy views on race and gender, they had really strong feelings too. Doesn’t mean it’s right and it doesn’t mean you can change them either Hopefully the younger generations can grow, learn and do better so these toxic mindsets can be changed "One of the most batshit things I’ve read on here! So now I have a toxic mindset because I’m a mature woman. Riiiight .... | |||
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"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. I wasn't trying to turn it men against women, I was trying to point out it was the virtual equivalent of the OP's question and relate it to some of the responses that have been posted. But it really isn't...my question relates to harassment, the comments exchange on the forum are a disagreement in opinion...and as you can see both parties have stated their opinion and than moved one....why are you trying to stir up s*it now "I wasn't trying to stir things up. I felt it was the virtual equivalent of someone being physically attacked and tried to point that out. I may not have done it in the best way but the original question was asked whether you would intervene or ignore what was happening. | |||
"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. I wasn't trying to turn it men against women, I was trying to point out it was the virtual equivalent of the OP's question and relate it to some of the responses that have been posted. But it really isn't...my question relates to harassment, the comments exchange on the forum are a disagreement in opinion...and as you can see both parties have stated their opinion and than moved one....why are you trying to stir up s*it now
I wasn't trying to stir things up. I felt it was the virtual equivalent of someone being physically attacked and tried to point that out. I may not have done it in the best way but the original question was asked whether you would intervene or ignore what was happening.
"Do you not think it would be the virtual equivalent of people disagree? Why did you instantly just to a physical attack from a disagreement in opinions/thoughts? | |||
"There are some guys in here doing the virtual equivalent of physically attacking a woman because of her view on something and daring to have an opinion. This happened live on TV yesterday with Jess Phillips. It wasn't acceptable in the 60's, it wasn't acceptable in the 80's, it wasn't acceptable yesterday and it certainly isn't acceptable this evening. Keyboard warriors eh! Machi as fuck, not. Hang on. Both Dieu and the guys have quite assertively stated their opinions. Don't turn it into men against women. I wasn't trying to turn it men against women, I was trying to point out it was the virtual equivalent of the OP's question and relate it to some of the responses that have been posted. But it really isn't...my question relates to harassment, the comments exchange on the forum are a disagreement in opinion...and as you can see both parties have stated their opinion and than moved one....why are you trying to stir up s*it now
I wasn't trying to stir things up. I felt it was the virtual equivalent of someone being physically attacked and tried to point that out. I may not have done it in the best way but the original question was asked whether you would intervene or ignore what was happening.
"Davie, I get you
And thanks, for what it’s worth x | |||
"Have done numerous times even got my nose broken one of the times " Doesn’t surprise me at all, CC  | |||
"Personally I don’t feel that “I can’t help how I feel” is a good reason to just keep on with the toxic femininity But that’s how things go with the older crowds. You can’t change someone’s mindset when they’ve lived that way for so long. My grandparents had crazy views on race and gender, they had really strong feelings too. Doesn’t mean it’s right and it doesn’t mean you can change them either Hopefully the younger generations can grow, learn and do better so these toxic mindsets can be changed "If I used the phrase toxic masculinity - how would you react? Because comparing a woman my age with your grandparents is ridiculous. It's a disagreement. Calling her opinion a toxic mindset is taking it too far IMO. | |||
"Have done numerous times even got my nose broken one of the times Doesn’t surprise me at all, CC "well you can't let someone get hurt | |||
"Personally I don’t feel that “I can’t help how I feel” is a good reason to just keep on with the toxic femininity But that’s how things go with the older crowds. You can’t change someone’s mindset when they’ve lived that way for so long. My grandparents had crazy views on race and gender, they had really strong feelings too. Doesn’t mean it’s right and it doesn’t mean you can change them either Hopefully the younger generations can grow, learn and do better so these toxic mindsets can be changed
If I used the phrase toxic masculinity - how would you react? Because comparing a woman my age with your grandparents is ridiculous. It's a disagreement. Calling her opinion a toxic mindset is taking it too far IMO. "Depends on how you were using it My grandparents thought women belonged in the kitchen, that’s toxic masculinity “You have to put your life in danger for a stranger to be seen as a man” is toxic femininity to me. Older generations are more likely to have these views because they lived in times when they weren’t challenged as much | |||
"Personally I don’t feel that “I can’t help how I feel” is a good reason to just keep on with the toxic femininity But that’s how things go with the older crowds. You can’t change someone’s mindset when they’ve lived that way for so long. My grandparents had crazy views on race and gender, they had really strong feelings too. Doesn’t mean it’s right and it doesn’t mean you can change them either Hopefully the younger generations can grow, learn and do better so these toxic mindsets can be changed
If I used the phrase toxic masculinity - how would you react? Because comparing a woman my age with your grandparents is ridiculous. It's a disagreement. Calling her opinion a toxic mindset is taking it too far IMO. "Thanks. Don’t know about you, but I’m hardly surprised by it anyway. | |||
"Personally I don’t feel that “I can’t help how I feel” is a good reason to just keep on with the toxic femininity But that’s how things go with the older crowds. You can’t change someone’s mindset when they’ve lived that way for so long. My grandparents had crazy views on race and gender, they had really strong feelings too. Doesn’t mean it’s right and it doesn’t mean you can change them either Hopefully the younger generations can grow, learn and do better so these toxic mindsets can be changed
If I used the phrase toxic masculinity - how would you react? Because comparing a woman my age with your grandparents is ridiculous. It's a disagreement. Calling her opinion a toxic mindset is taking it too far IMO.
Depends on how you were using it
My grandparents thought women belonged in the kitchen, that’s toxic masculinity
“You have to put your life in danger for a stranger to be seen as a man” is toxic femininity to me.
Older generations are more likely to have these views because they lived in times when they weren’t challenged as much "Which times were those? The 1980s?
I think you're interpreting what she said in the most negative way possible. I can understand why you and the OP have reacted to it. It's between a rock and a hard place. And I will never be stuck there. | |||
"Personally I don’t feel that “I can’t help how I feel” is a good reason to just keep on with the toxic femininity But that’s how things go with the older crowds. You can’t change someone’s mindset when they’ve lived that way for so long. My grandparents had crazy views on race and gender, they had really strong feelings too. Doesn’t mean it’s right and it doesn’t mean you can change them either Hopefully the younger generations can grow, learn and do better so these toxic mindsets can be changed
If I used the phrase toxic masculinity - how would you react? Because comparing a woman my age with your grandparents is ridiculous. It's a disagreement. Calling her opinion a toxic mindset is taking it too far IMO.
Depends on how you were using it
My grandparents thought women belonged in the kitchen, that’s toxic masculinity
“You have to put your life in danger for a stranger to be seen as a man” is toxic femininity to me.
Older generations are more likely to have these views because they lived in times when they weren’t challenged as much
Which times were those? The 1980s?
I think you're interpreting what she said in the most negative way possible. I can understand why you and the OP have reacted to it. It's between a rock and a hard place. And I will never be stuck there. "Well I appreciate you at least seeing both sides | |||
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"It's is difficult. I was out in the delight that is wolves once. And this guy was shouting and shoving a woman, so I stepped in, then they both then turned on me and tried to batter me!! Now I assume that was his partner so a slightly different dynamic to someone randomly abusing someone else. I'd like to think I would be you have to assess the situation. I've called the old bill to deal with other things I've witnessed rather than me getting involved after that one. " Fixed | |||
"It's is difficult. I was out in the delight that is wolves once. And this guy was shouting and shoving a woman, so I stepped in, then they both then turned on me and tried to batter me!! Now I assume that was his partner so a slightly different dynamic to someone randomly abusing someone else. I'd like to think I would be you have to assess the situation. I've called the old bill to deal with other things I've witnessed rather than me getting involved after that one. Fixed" Calling the police is better than standing back and doing feck all | |||
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"Personally I don’t feel that “I can’t help how I feel” is a good reason to just keep on with the toxic femininity But that’s how things go with the older crowds. You can’t change someone’s mindset when they’ve lived that way for so long. My grandparents had crazy views on race and gender, they had really strong feelings too. Doesn’t mean it’s right and it doesn’t mean you can change them either Hopefully the younger generations can grow, learn and do better so these toxic mindsets can be changed
If I used the phrase toxic masculinity - how would you react? Because comparing a woman my age with your grandparents is ridiculous. It's a disagreement. Calling her opinion a toxic mindset is taking it too far IMO.
Depends on how you were using it
My grandparents thought women belonged in the kitchen, that’s toxic masculinity
“You have to put your life in danger for a stranger to be seen as a man” is toxic femininity to me.
Older generations are more likely to have these views because they lived in times when they weren’t challenged as much
Which times were those? The 1980s?
I think you're interpreting what she said in the most negative way possible. I can understand why you and the OP have reacted to it. It's between a rock and a hard place. And I will never be stuck there.
Well I appreciate you at least seeing both sides "Thank you | |||
"I believe this thread needs deescalating ... Everyone can have an opinion, no one is trying to silence anyone...but different opinions will come to a disagreement. One thing I would like to point out is that it is not fair for anyone to call a man a coward if that man feels that he doesn't want to intervene under those circumstances...this isn't a black or white situation and there can be consequences (severe consequences sometimes). Also for the women saying they would intervene, that's fine more power to you, but the truth is that you as a woman intervening in such circumstances are less likely to be physically assaulted (of course I am generalising now). Also for those women that say that their father would have intervened...with all due respect please also acknowledge the fact that there are little girls in this world that don't have a father anymore, because their fathers have intervened in such situations. For those men that say that they would intervene without hesitation and don't care about consequences, I would like to add something that Mike Tyson once said...."everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face". This is a very complex scenario and everyone has the right to say yes I would intervene or no I wouldn't, but if you do intervene and you do get assaulted because of it and you do get hurt, no one will call you a hero...most will say that was stupid and you should not have intervened. So if there's one thing you take from this thread, let it be the awareness of the fact that there's an element of danger when you do intervene " | |||
"I believe this thread needs deescalating ... Everyone can have an opinion, no one is trying to silence anyone...but different opinions will come to a disagreement. One thing I would like to point out is that it is not fair for anyone to call a man a coward if that man feels that he doesn't want to intervene under those circumstances...this isn't a black or white situation and there can be consequences (severe consequences sometimes). Also for the women saying they would intervene, that's fine more power to you, but the truth is that you as a woman intervening in such circumstances are less likely to be physically assaulted (of course I am generalising now). Also for those women that say that their father would have intervened...with all due respect please also acknowledge the fact that there are little girls in this world that don't have a father anymore, because their fathers have intervened in such situations. For those men that say that they would intervene without hesitation and don't care about consequences, I would like to add something that Mike Tyson once said...."everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face". This is a very complex scenario and everyone has the right to say yes I would intervene or no I wouldn't, but if you do intervene and you do get assaulted because of it and you do get hurt, no one will call you a hero...most will say that was stupid and you should not have intervened. So if there's one thing you take from this thread, let it be the awareness of the fact that there's an element of danger when you do intervene " I’ve got a metal plate in my hand for intervening Does that make me more of a man? Am I a proper man now? Or is that the toxic mindset that ends up with people in hospital or dead every weekend. Your absolutely right. It’s never a black or white situation. And as one poster above said, stepping in doesn’t mean physically, just calling the police is a way of helping One things for certain, life is fragile. People get hit and have their life changed. A few female posts on here have been extremely brave in saying they’d rather deal with it then see something turn violent. Utmost respect for them. But as I said above, toxic mindsets need to be changed, including the one where guts think they can pick on an easy target or leer at a woman and get aggressive when they don’t get what they want. Stepping in is great, but hopefully we’ll reach a point where we won’t need to. A great start would be calling out your mates when this happens. Don’t let a stranger step in while you look on. He’s your mate. Tell him straight, set the record. | |||
"No-one intervened when our son was assaulted on a bus just over a year ago. Other people chose to move seats and sat by as our son was kicked, punched and stamped in the head. The bus driver did not stop or intervene. When the police finally took it seriously (because they didn't at first), the bus company handed over CCTV but told their driver not to give evidence. The company did not cooperate. No-one came forward as a witness. Getting it to court and securing a measly conviction of the perpetrator took all our son's mental strength and effort, all during the COVID lockdowns. The court hearing was 4 days his Great Grandad died. Only CCTV footage (masks worn) and no bystander or driver input meant some allegations could not be proven. I was very disappointed that no-one stopped to help my son. He had a broken cheekbone, broken nose, broken eye socket and defensive injuries to his arm. Even A&E didn't want to know FFS. I used to be quick to step in to all sorts of situations, probably without thinking it through. I am a bit more cautious nowadays with being a wheelchair user but if I saw a person stamping on another person's head on the bus, I couldn't sit by and watch. That I do know. " This breaks my heart and is exactly why I could never just stand by and say or do nothing. I hope your son is ok. C x | |||
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"I believe this thread needs deescalating ... Everyone can have an opinion, no one is trying to silence anyone...but different opinions will come to a disagreement. One thing I would like to point out is that it is not fair for anyone to call a man a coward if that man feels that he doesn't want to intervene under those circumstances...this isn't a black or white situation and there can be consequences (severe consequences sometimes). Also for the women saying they would intervene, that's fine more power to you, but the truth is that you as a woman intervening in such circumstances are less likely to be physically assaulted (of course I am generalising now). Also for those women that say that their father would have intervened...with all due respect please also acknowledge the fact that there are little girls in this world that don't have a father anymore, because their fathers have intervened in such situations. For those men that say that they would intervene without hesitation and don't care about consequences, I would like to add something that Mike Tyson once said...."everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face". This is a very complex scenario and everyone has the right to say yes I would intervene or no I wouldn't, but if you do intervene and you do get assaulted because of it and you do get hurt, no one will call you a hero...most will say that was stupid and you should not have intervened. So if there's one thing you take from this thread, let it be the awareness of the fact that there's an element of danger when you do intervene " There is an element of danger when anyone intervenes in these situations and that is up to the individual. Personally I have known too many people being severely battered because others didn't do anything when they were being assaulted, some of them very severely. In this day and age too many people just look out for their selves and that is not something I feel does anyone any good. I grew up in an age where it was acceptable for men to openly talk about giving their wife a slap, that didn't happen in our house but it did in a fair few of my friends houses, never a home. | |||
"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting " Did you realty just say that women are privileged?! 
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"Oh my God, I missed the post about your son. I’m so sorry this happened to him. Just awful. I hope he’s ok now and not too traumatised." If this was meant for us, thank you for your concern. He's physically okay but not mentally. He's now getting help but it's taken a long time. If it wasn't meant for us, then.....  | |||
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"Let me tell you this. In no uncertain terms. If I were the partner of one of the men at that bus-stop, I would dump them. I wouldn’t be able to look at them again, let alone respect them. My dad would intervene. My brother would intervene. I would intervene. Shame on the ‘men’ who left her to cry there alone. Wow....so if your partner intervened and wad attacked because of that, ended up in the hospital or worse you'd be OK with that? Because that's a possibility I'm actually a bit disgusted with what you just said Coming from the privileged position of the female that is very rarely on the receiving end of the physical violence How easy it is to stand in the safety of your privilege and say others are disgusting Did you realty just say that women are privileged?!
"This was dealt with further up the thread. Referring to street violence where women are unlikely to be hurt. | |||
"Absolutely meant for you, Kinky. X" Thank you. It's been a very difficult year and a bit for him, us and our family. I do wish people had tried to help him. His faith in "people" is rock bottom. His faith in authority types is also low because of how he was treated at hospital and by the police. That was despite me being with him. My son was a completely innocent party but that wasn't the attitude of the "authorities". | |||
"Absolutely meant for you, Kinky. X Thank you. It's been a very difficult year and a bit for him, us and our family. I do wish people had tried to help him. His faith in "people" is rock bottom. His faith in authority types is also low because of how he was treated at hospital and by the police. That was despite me being with him. My son was a completely innocent party but that wasn't the attitude of the "authorities". " Went through something similar, although not nearly as brutal as what you describe (random attack at a club, 3 surgeries to fix damage. Police refused to follow up despite lots of evidence because I was d*unk) It can really mentally mess with you, especially how little the police want to do to help you when you need it Hope he’s doing ok | |||
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" To be fair it's not the first time she shames men or calls them "not real men" just because they don't act or behave the way she wants...she also has stated numerous times in other threads how she is a strong independent woman and doesn't need a man, yet under these circumstances she expects men to jump in harms way to protect women, a bit hypocritical...anyways I'm sure she doesn't care about what I have to say , and that's cool ...but she seems slightly closed minded and I prefer not to interact to people like that, so will just ignore her from now on (and I'm sure she won't mind or care). All the best to her" An interesting take, now I now I already commented, somewhat flippantly if still truthfully, but I hadn’t actually read the thread until now (and I’m also replying immediately, rather than reading to the end, which I’ll admit now may not be the greatest move ever made online) but this right here is the first bit I consider as overstepping the mark in a way that is reminiscent of the OPs tone (if not scenario, it’s just a forum thread after all). Fury has been called toxic, and had her forum past dragged out (without examples) and judged, and for what? She repeated a word someone threw at her? Now if I was at that bus stop, I wouldn’t have intervened either. I’d had the fractured skull from doing it before. I’d be scared shitless to do it. I shook like a leaf when a neighbour shouted at me for parking in front of his house. So I would not behave like she would want me to, I’ll admit it. But she’s every right to hold the opinion that she would expect the people there (herself included remember) to intervene, and to not respect the decision of others not to. And I’ve more respect for how she’s presented and backed that up, than I have for how you have, even though nominally we probably have the the most similar approach. Now you’ve said you’ll just avoid talking with her, so I hope when I read down that you have done, because then at least I might reconsider my respect for and approach to communicating with you . Peace out, probably my only comment on this. | |||
"Absolutely meant for you, Kinky. X Thank you. It's been a very difficult year and a bit for him, us and our family. I do wish people had tried to help him. His faith in "people" is rock bottom. His faith in authority types is also low because of how he was treated at hospital and by the police. That was despite me being with him. My son was a completely innocent party but that wasn't the attitude of the "authorities". Went through something similar, although not nearly as brutal as what you describe (random attack at a club, 3 surgeries to fix damage. Police refused to follow up despite lots of evidence because I was d*unk) It can really mentally mess with you, especially how little the police want to do to help you when you need it Hope he’s doing ok " He's very recently started to receive help (like, this week/today) so that's a positive thing. But yeah. It's completely destroyed his plans and intentions for his education/career and we've spent the year basically trying to hold a drowning young man up by his shirt (metaphorically). Lots of crises which we've had to manage as a team of 3. Tough... Sorry to hear you had a similar sort of experience, both of assault and lack of support to address it. | |||
" To be fair it's not the first time she shames men or calls them "not real men" just because they don't act or behave the way she wants...she also has stated numerous times in other threads how she is a strong independent woman and doesn't need a man, yet under these circumstances she expects men to jump in harms way to protect women, a bit hypocritical...anyways I'm sure she doesn't care about what I have to say , and that's cool ...but she seems slightly closed minded and I prefer not to interact to people like that, so will just ignore her from now on (and I'm sure she won't mind or care). All the best to her An interesting take, now I now I already commented, somewhat flippantly if still truthfully, but I hadn’t actually read the thread until now (and I’m also replying immediately, rather than reading to the end, which I’ll admit now may not be the greatest move ever made online) but this right here is the first bit I consider as overstepping the mark in a way that is reminiscent of the OPs tone (if not scenario, it’s just a forum thread after all). Fury has been called toxic, and had her forum past dragged out (without examples) and judged, and for what? She repeated a word someone threw at her? Now if I was at that bus stop, I wouldn’t have intervened either. I’d had the fractured skull from doing it before. I’d be scared shitless to do it. I shook like a leaf when a neighbour shouted at me for parking in front of his house. So I would not behave like she would want me to, I’ll admit it. But she’s every right to hold the opinion that she would expect the people there (herself included remember) to intervene, and to not respect the decision of others not to. And I’ve more respect for how she’s presented and backed that up, than I have for how you have, even though nominally we probably have the the most similar approach. Now you’ve said you’ll just avoid talking with her, so I hope when I read down that you have done, because then at least I might reconsider my respect for and approach to communicating with you . Peace out, probably my only comment on this. " Thank you DM for your well-considered words. And maybe I should change my username to Fury. Like it! | |||
" To be fair it's not the first time she shames men or calls them "not real men" just because they don't act or behave the way she wants...she also has stated numerous times in other threads how she is a strong independent woman and doesn't need a man, yet under these circumstances she expects men to jump in harms way to protect women, a bit hypocritical...anyways I'm sure she doesn't care about what I have to say , and that's cool ...but she seems slightly closed minded and I prefer not to interact to people like that, so will just ignore her from now on (and I'm sure she won't mind or care). All the best to her An interesting take, now I now I already commented, somewhat flippantly if still truthfully, but I hadn’t actually read the thread until now (and I’m also replying immediately, rather than reading to the end, which I’ll admit now may not be the greatest move ever made online) but this right here is the first bit I consider as overstepping the mark in a way that is reminiscent of the OPs tone (if not scenario, it’s just a forum thread after all). Fury has been called toxic, and had her forum past dragged out (without examples) and judged, and for what? She repeated a word someone threw at her? Now if I was at that bus stop, I wouldn’t have intervened either. I’d had the fractured skull from doing it before. I’d be scared shitless to do it. I shook like a leaf when a neighbour shouted at me for parking in front of his house. So I would not behave like she would want me to, I’ll admit it. But she’s every right to hold the opinion that she would expect the people there (herself included remember) to intervene, and to not respect the decision of others not to. And I’ve more respect for how she’s presented and backed that up, than I have for how you have, even though nominally we probably have the the most similar approach. Now you’ve said you’ll just avoid talking with her, so I hope when I read down that you have done, because then at least I might reconsider my respect for and approach to communicating with you . Peace out, probably my only comment on this. Thank you DM for your well-considered words. And maybe I should change my username to Fury. Like it! "Great autocorrect huh  | |||
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" An interesting take, now I now I already commented, somewhat flippantly if still truthfully, but I hadn’t actually read the thread until now (and I’m also replying immediately, rather than reading to the end, which I’ll admit now may not be the greatest move ever made online) but this right here is the first bit I consider as overstepping the mark in a way that is reminiscent of the OPs tone (if not scenario, it’s just a forum thread after all). Fury has been called toxic, and had her forum past dragged out (without examples) and judged, and for what? She repeated a word someone threw at her? Now if I was at that bus stop, I wouldn’t have intervened either. I’d had the fractured skull from doing it before. I’d be scared shitless to do it. I shook like a leaf when a neighbour shouted at me for parking in front of his house. So I would not behave like she would want me to, I’ll admit it. But she’s every right to hold the opinion that she would expect the people there (herself included remember) to intervene, and to not respect the decision of others not to. And I’ve more respect for how she’s presented and backed that up, than I have for how you have, even though nominally we probably have the the most similar approach. Now you’ve said you’ll just avoid talking with her, so I hope when I read down that you have done, because then at least I might reconsider my respect for and approach to communicating with you . Peace out, probably my only comment on this. " You hope? I don't know you! You don't know me! What on earth are you talking about? And why say it like this? Like you are trying to intimidate me on a freaking forum...by all means agree with anyone in the comment section you wish. But I have no idea who you are, nor am I in need of your respect. I have no idea where this came from, but before commenting about a disagreement between two people make sure you understand the full conversation that was had. | |||
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"Difficult call but gut says get the girl out of the situation ask her if she wants to walk with me and grab a cab - hopefully it doesn’t get physical but if it does… deal with it. Threads like this do make my blood boil that the rule of law & order seems to be breaking down because these arseholes think they can do and say what they want and their violent antiseptic behaviour goes with little consequence " Antiseptic…. Bloody autocorrect!!! | |||
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"Difficult call but gut says get the girl out of the situation ask her if she wants to walk with me and grab a cab - hopefully it doesn’t get physical but if it does… deal with it. Threads like this do make my blood boil that the rule of law & order seems to be breaking down because these arseholes think they can do and say what they want and their violent antiseptic behaviour goes with little consequence " I agree and try to voice injustice whenever I see it. I can’t help myself. But it’s just a matter of time before I voice it too the wrong person and end up hurt as a consequence. | |||
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"Difficult call but gut says get the girl out of the situation ask her if she wants to walk with me and grab a cab - hopefully it doesn’t get physical but if it does… deal with it. Threads like this do make my blood boil that the rule of law & order seems to be breaking down because these arseholes think they can do and say what they want and their violent antiseptic behaviour goes with little consequence I agree and try to voice injustice whenever I see it. I can’t help myself. But it’s just a matter of time before I voice it too the wrong person and end up hurt as a consequence. " I do hope not, for what it’s worth!  | |||
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" You hope? I don't know you! You don't know me! What on earth are you talking about? And why say it like this? Like you are trying to intimidate me on a freaking forum...by all means agree with anyone in the comment section you wish. But I have no idea who you are, nor am I in need of your respect. I have no idea where this came from, but before commenting about a disagreement between two people make sure you understand the full conversation that was had. "Yeah I hope. Surely we all want our contributions to be respected. You might not want or need it, but wouldn’t it be good if I gave it anyway? I just got to that point in the thread, and considering the topic and the fact that you started it and was participating in a pile on, that it was a really good time to do the sort of keyboard intervening that I’m more comfortable doing that in the real world. If you found what I said intimidating then it’s not my intention, I phrased it deliberately in a freeze frame monologue to camera way to say hey look, here’s a thread about your thought processes when some woman is getting harassed, and look, here’s a woman beginning be harassed by two guys calling names, referencing things outside of the thread or even scope if it, and I though we’ll if this isn’t worthy of a bit of thought commentary, what is? The irony was strong. I don’t need to know you, I don’t know Fury either, and I wouldn’t know the men or the woman in our invented scenario either. I don’t need to, to be able to share my thoughts in similar detail to the many other posts on here. Intervention is not waiting for it to be all over, so I spent my 2p. | |||
"Difficult call but gut says get the girl out of the situation ask her if she wants to walk with me and grab a cab - hopefully it doesn’t get physical but if it does… deal with it. Threads like this do make my blood boil that the rule of law & order seems to be breaking down because these arseholes think they can do and say what they want and their violent antiseptic behaviour goes with little consequence I agree and try to voice injustice whenever I see it. I can’t help myself. But it’s just a matter of time before I voice it too the wrong person and end up hurt as a consequence. I do hope not, for what it’s worth! "Thank you x | |||
" You hope? I don't know you! You don't know me! What on earth are you talking about? And why say it like this? Like you are trying to intimidate me on a freaking forum...by all means agree with anyone in the comment section you wish. But I have no idea who you are, nor am I in need of your respect. I have no idea where this came from, but before commenting about a disagreement between two people make sure you understand the full conversation that was had.
Yeah I hope. Surely we all want our contributions to be respected. You might not want or need it, but wouldn’t it be good if I gave it anyway? I just got to that point in the thread, and considering the topic and the fact that you started it and was participating in a pile on, that it was a really good time to do the sort of keyboard intervening that I’m more comfortable doing that in the real world. If you found what I said intimidating then it’s not my intention, I phrased it deliberately in a freeze frame monologue to camera way to say hey look, here’s a thread about your thought processes when some woman is getting harassed, and look, here’s a woman beginning be harassed by two guys calling names, referencing things outside of the thread or even scope if it, and I though we’ll if this isn’t worthy of a bit of thought commentary, what is? The irony was strong. I don’t need to know you, I don’t know Fury either, and I wouldn’t know the men or the woman in our invented scenario either. I don’t need to, to be able to share my thoughts in similar detail to the many other posts on here. Intervention is not waiting for it to be all over, so I spent my 2p. "OK let's conclude this shall we...it is getting late. I did not find what you said intimidating, I feel that was an "attempt" of you trying to sound intimidating. You feel Fury (or Deiu) is in the right with what she said, that's fine, you think she has the right to have her opinion, so do I, what I didn't agree with was her attempt of shaming the men who aren't comfortable intervening in a dangerous situation, making it sound as they are not real men, that's not fair and it's uncalled for. No one has harassed her, or at least I haven't... I said she has shamed men in the past before and some of the things she said in the past now appear to be hypocritical, and then I said I don't want to continue a conversation with someone closed minded (which yes I believe she is) and wished her all the best...and then I stopped referring or replying to anything else she said. By all means think what you want, but that is not harassment and it's despicable that you would even relate that to what I said in my original post. I wish both you and your friend a good night | |||
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The many men of Fab - who I like and have much time for - will have absolutely no complaints about my treatment of them.
I don’t suffer fools of either sex gladly, but try to conduct myself with empathy and kindness on here.
Anyway, I’m out. Goodnight all! | |||
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"You were so kind. Central is a pretty mixed bag, isn’t it? "That it is, as Tam in Still Game said 'Central Station - junkies, whores, murderers, rapists' and that's just the staff! | |||
"...and when I say harassed I don't mean physically assaulted or harassed, but verbally. If you would be in that position of being harassed and other men would be there, would you expect them to intervene? " This is a subject that i'm very torn about. Growing up in a rough part of South London violence / confrontations were commonplace. In my youth I had a reasonable amount of training in various forms of combat / martial arts. Which gives someone a level of confidence in a confrontational situation. So when witnessing one it's hard to not stand up for someone clearly being bullied. However one Sensei's words always stuck.... No one ever wins a fight! - if you have got to that point of it becoming physical, you have lost control. A couple of peoples comments about diffusing the situation by pretending to be the victims friend is genius, placid & peaceful. A great resolution in these types of situations - if that subdues the aggressors. I have previously both stood up for a total strangers & also chosen not too, because of fears for my personal safety in that situation. Twice that I have not reacted & helped someone has haunted me afterwards (for obvious reasons). Both times were shortly after a friend (who is trained to almost MMA standards) was violently & savagely beaten after stepping in to help a guy being verbally abused by 3 guys in a cab office at the end of a night (the guys were much bigger than this lad they were picking on) & clearly it was about to become physical. This friend & his mate ended up being set upon by 6 guys & 2 women (one woman was hitting him with her shoe & left a heel scar 1cm from his eye!) for trying to keep the peace! He ended up in intensive care for 2 weeks & suffered effects for a couple of years afterwards. There's clearly arguments for both, but it depends upon each individual scenario. Which needs to be carefully evaluated. - There's a great channel on yt called fight science, where many of these topics & things to think about are discussed in an eloquent & mature way. Ultimately I believe that we should all look out for one another & do what we can to help others whenever possible. But if you're not confident in a physical situation or that you can't diffuse it & come away unharmed, don't step in. As difficult as it is to watch, you can do other things. - Report it - Be prepared to give a witness statement. This could help stop this/these people doing it again to someone else. Life is a precious thing, enjoy it, spread the love & take care guys! X | |||
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"I have done on several occasions. Mostly it's been one man on a woman, but a couple of times it was a small group of men being really verbally aggressive against a couple of women who have ignored their abusive advances. It doesn't always work out how you think. *** One time I physically got between a couple when he started pushing her, only for her to have a go at me. I left that loving couple to it! *** She may have done that so she didn't get a worse kicking when he got her home. Yep, violence is all about men. Even when a woman is violent to a man it's a man's fault somewhere along the line
And we wonder why it is that although women are twice a likely to report domestic abuse, men are twice as likely not to report when it happens - because inevitably someone will find a way to blame them.
Mr"Wow. | |||
