FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How much of it is personality.
How much of it is personality.
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By that I mean have you found yourself finding a person attractive or sexy that you didn’t immediately fancy.
Personally I have found that I tend to grow on people, perhaps it’s just persistence, but I’d think that people like me before they fancy me, unfortunately.
I think fancy and like is obviously best.
What’s your thoughts.    |
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"If I don't find someone attractive in a sexual way almost straight away I never will. Luckily for me I value people whether I'm sexually attracted to them or not  "
Value people now there’s a great outlook. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often find a gradual attraction to people that wasn't immediately obvious.
It can work the other way too of course with the attraction waning as you learn more about a person. |
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Nope, I either find someone sexually attractive or I don't. Their personality is completely separate to that...just means that I won't ever act on my sexual attraction if I don't like them as a person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it is better to have a deeper attraction rather than just looks.
I can honestly say the majority of men I’ve dated, I didn’t instantly find sexually attractive. The person and the mind can make all the difference. |
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"Nope, I either find someone sexually attractive or I don't. Their personality is completely separate to that...just means that I won't ever act on my sexual attraction if I don't like them as a person. "
Yep! |
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Every time, I’ve never fancied anyone straight off. It takes time for me, it’s never been about looks but more who they are as a person, how they conduct themselves, interact with others, humour and more. That being said if that first kiss doesn’t send shivers through me I know, sexually, they aren’t for me.
If that makes sense.
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"Every time, I’ve never fancied anyone straight off. It takes time for me, it’s never been about looks but more who they are as a person, how they conduct themselves, interact with others, humour and more. That being said if that first kiss doesn’t send shivers through me I know, sexually, they aren’t for me.
If that makes sense.
"
That makes lots of sense to me. Pucker up  |
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I work by instant fanny flutters, no amount of personality is going to overshadow that.
On a personal note relating to only me. If someone told me after having sex with me that no they didn't fancy me but they thought I was funny so they would give me a go... I'd be absolutely mortified |
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
"Nope, I either find someone sexually attractive or I don't. Their personality is completely separate to that...just means that I won't ever act on my sexual attraction if I don't like them as a person. "
Sorry for doing it again Lily...
But yeah....
This 
Posh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I don’t find someone attractive straightaway, then that aspect of things will not change. Attraction doesn’t grow on me.
However, what I would say, is that it’s not only conventionally attractive types I have been attracted to! So my comment isn’t as shallow as it may sound.
Personality is hugely important, of course. |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough / Kettering |
We all like good looks and sexy bodies but the biggest sexual attraction occurs when the bit above the neck is working properly! I've met some gorgeous women in my time but when you get some of them in bed it's like having sex with a corpse! (And no, I don't know what that's actually like before you ask!)  |
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
"I value who a person is more than what they look like."
This as well. But (for me) I don't value them more or less depending on whether I get the fandango tango from looking at them.
Posh |
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"Nope, I either find someone sexually attractive or I don't. Their personality is completely separate to that...just means that I won't ever act on my sexual attraction if I don't like them as a person.
Sorry for doing it again Lily...
But yeah....
This
Posh "
Are you in my head today Posh? If you are, you're bloody brave, it's not safe in there |
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By *piderBunnyCouple
over a year ago
Back of Nowhere and Beyond |
"Nope, I either find someone sexually attractive or I don't. Their personality is completely separate to that...just means that I won't ever act on my sexual attraction if I don't like them as a person.
Sorry for doing it again Lily...
But yeah....
This
Posh
Are you in my head today Posh? If you are, you're bloody brave, it's not safe in there "
Maybe it's a melding thing? If so.... I'd like to apologise for the montage from about an hour ago 
P |
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By *B69Woman
over a year ago
Wiltshire |
"I work by instant fanny flutters, no amount of personality is going to overshadow that.
On a personal note relating to only me. If someone told me after having sex with me that no they didn't fancy me but they thought I was funny so they would give me a go... I'd be absolutely mortified "
Exactly this  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I'm a bit of a slow burner - I have to find someone's personality attractive before I can find someone sexually attractive. It's about the whole package for me, that's what gives me the proper suckerpunch of lust. I can think someone is good looking but I'm incredibly unlikely to find them sexually attractive just based off of that.
So yes, my vagina warms to people over time. Equally, I might think someone is less good looking if personality traits come out that aren't attractive to me. I always think of The Twits quote to explain that part. |
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I can think of different men on fab where I have found one instantly sexually attractive just from his pictures, and another where I turned him down after seeing a face picture, but once I got to know him better do find him more and more attractive (sorry Fiddles but neither is you - you're in a category all by yourself).
But in real life I think finding men attractive is mixed in with knowing them and liking them. |
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I totally agree with many of you, yes there can be an initial attraction, but if their personality doesnt also attract me then they become less physically attractive to me. I also find the opposite, i can become more and more sexually attracted to someone who i really get on with, although there still does have to be that initial physical attraction. So basically i might start a chat for the physical but i'll stay for the personality. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often find a gradual attraction to people that wasn't immediately obvious.
It can work the other way too of course with the attraction waning as you learn more about a person."
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