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What is the worst thing you can here before going under for an operation

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport

Hope this works

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fuck busman, that’s a bit dark!

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

His Parkinson's seems to be getting worse.

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Fuck busman, that’s a bit dark! "
sorry Dieu xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ok, so maybe the surgeon saying: ‘it’s the first time I’ve done this’.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think I can't believe they let me in here holding a knife

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By *inky-MinxWoman  over a year ago

Grantham

The anaesthetist is off with Covid.

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By *itty9899Man  over a year ago

Craggy Island

The theme tune to jim'll fix it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Consultant to the Junior. You can do this one I’ll supervise.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"oh shit, wrong gas"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Did you put enough sedation through? *bed starts moving through the double doors into theatre*

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Surgeon: I was on a total bender last night. Look, I’ve still got the shakes!

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By *TK421-Man  over a year ago

Cheltenham

It's the right knee yes?

It was my left knee and it was obvious as it was shredded... But fuck me did I panic as I went under....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Anaesthetists saying start counting down from ten as i can never recal the last number before i go under and waken up

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Surgeon: I was on a total bender last night. Look, I’ve still got the shakes! "
into the swing now Dieu

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ha ha ha! This thread is making me laugh and giving me the willies all at once!

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By *idnight RamblerMan  over a year ago

Pershore

Was it L or R side we're doing?

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By *onnynclaireCouple  over a year ago

Reading

Surgeon: “what the hell is that?!?”

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

I’ve only gotten my old prescription glasses with me. Still nobody will notice will they Dr Phil.

It’s Nurse Adams, and yes, they might.

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

Come into the light Carol Ann……

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"This guy was in for butt implants, right?"

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By *ream of Sum Yung Gai2Man  over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Who's up for some selfies.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You mean I get to do this on work experience? Wait till I tell the guys in school who only got to work in tesco for the week!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts."

Omg thanks! I haven’t been put under in ages, and I’m a few weeks from an OP and I’ve had dreams of surgeons trying to put me under, but I can’t properly fall asleep so they keep trying and delaying the operation. Literal nightmare

Anyway, I should probably stay away from this thread

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By *orraine999Woman  over a year ago

Somewhere

Nurse: Are you the new heart surgeon?

Doctor: No. But I did sleep at a Holiday Inn.

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By *alguyMan  over a year ago

Gibraltar & Manchester

When the surgeon says: "Well, we're going to be performing a VERY tricky procedure today. In fact only 8 surgeons in the world actually know how to correctly do this... I just wish I was one of them."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I really don’t care what I hear before just don’t let me hear or feel anything during the procedure that would be my worse fear! haha!

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS  over a year ago

Leicester

What’s the safe word ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts.

Omg thanks! I haven’t been put under in ages, and I’m a few weeks from an OP and I’ve had dreams of surgeons trying to put me under, but I can’t properly fall asleep so they keep trying and delaying the operation. Literal nightmare

Anyway, I should probably stay away from this thread "

Let the anesthetic team know your concerns if you have any and they'll be able to change drugs to suit. Especially antisickness given when waking up, I asked for that as had a 2 hour drive home

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By *onnynclaireCouple  over a year ago

Reading

“So, castration? Ok then…”

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts."

You are a weirdo. lol. I hate it. Freaks me out every time. I’ve had 7 now I think last count. Hopefully no more! I can feel the cold going up my arm just thinking about it. Nope nope nope.

Love waking up though it’s always a euphoric yay I’m alive and also like ouch! Haha when I had my endometriosis op I was screaming the recovery room down they gave me fentanyl in the end. Happy dreams.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m not a doctor I’m an actor I thought this was an episode of casualty.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts.

You are a weirdo. lol. I hate it. Freaks me out every time. I’ve had 7 now I think last count. Hopefully no more! I can feel the cold going up my arm just thinking about it. Nope nope nope.

Love waking up though it’s always a euphoric yay I’m alive and also like ouch! Haha when I had my endometriosis op I was screaming the recovery room down they gave me fentanyl in the end. Happy dreams. "

Nightmare!

I think I’d love the waking up feeling.

The only Anaesthetic I liked was the anaesthetic gas during dental procedures back when I was a kid, I remember it just felt so good but probably

Cos I was high as a kite

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By *piderBunnyCouple  over a year ago

Back of Nowhere and Beyond


"I'm going off here but I absolutely love being put under GA. I'd volunteer for it if there was such a thing!

The tingling sensation in your body, the muffled sounds, the change of smell, the happy thoughts."

I am so with you. Completely love a GA. Going under, coming out.... that totally rested feeling

Posh

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’ll get it right in the end !

Oh shit

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I had an op in 1993 to plate my Acetabulum back together after a horse fell on me and broke it.

I was a bit worried with the anaesthetic and the nurse (not the surgeon) said well if you die under anaesthesia you won’t know anything about it, fortunately I didn’t, but I did have issues when trying to mobilise a couple days later, literally fell off the crutches, sent a huge glass bottle of Ribena crashing to the ground, and then after that about a week after the nurse was trying to pull the drain out and every time she did, I was screaming, she told me not to be such a baby, and that the drain wasn’t stitched in…… went to have a look at my notes only to find that actually yes the drain was stitched in……

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By *ister_ee_1981Man  over a year ago

Sunniest Exeter...

"Hi everybody! My name is Dr Nick Riviera,and I will perform any operation for the tiny sum of $129.95!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Love waking up though it’s always a euphoric yay I’m alive and also like ouch! Haha when I had my endometriosis op I was screaming the recovery room down they gave me fentanyl in the end. Happy dreams. "

I woke up and the nurse held my hand for what felt like hours whilst I was drifting in and out. I remember him prising my fingers off him eventually though. That was a sad moment because he was so warm. I probably declared my love for him as well.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/22 20:42:34]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The ballad of John bobbet

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man  over a year ago

BRIDPORT

The Benny Hill theme

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By *aliceWoman  over a year ago

Birmingham

'I can't believe we're getting away with this'

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By *eyond PurityCouple  over a year ago

Lincolnshire

‘Oooh we went to school together…I’ve always fantasised about what you’d look like naked’

K

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think about which way they are going to put the stent. One goes up your arm and one way doesn't.

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By *heDesiCandiTV/TS  over a year ago

Leicester


"‘Oooh we went to school together…I’ve always fantasised about what you’d look like naked’

K"

I kinda like that one lol

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I don't know but my surgeon doing my hysterectomy was yawning as I was being put to sleep.

I'm still here

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ssssssshhhhhhhhhh!

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By *hoirCouple  over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"You may wake up and be missing a testicle"

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple  over a year ago

Cumbria

Testicles or tonsils cannot remember...

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple  over a year ago

in Lancashire

'oh good, Boris has arrived for this work event'..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I find it terrifying, cried before hand and they sent for a Nurse to comfort me...I just remember the surgeon being lovely and the anaesthist asking me where my favourite place was.

Last thing I saw was her stood at the bottom of my bed watching me, she was eating crisps and I heard the anaesthetist bollock for for bringing foodstuffs into the area

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"‘Oooh we went to school together…I’ve always fantasised about what you’d look like naked’

K"

The one doing the urinary catheter too

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


""oh shit, wrong gas" "

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By *urplechesterCouple  over a year ago

chester


"Come into the light Carol Ann……

"

Omg that just cracked me up Miss pc

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

How many bits do you think we will have left over this time?

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"How many bits do you think we will have left over this time?"

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By *ust RachelTV/TS  over a year ago

Horsham

Lets the case notes again ah Mr/Mrs (wrong name), that should be an easy one to do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m a trainee surgeon

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

See you on the other side

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I actually had a situation in Spain where I had a broken wrist and I needed an operation on my other hand and had a surgeon that barely spoke English telling me they were going to break the bones in my arm and reset them. I just started screaming "no" and got up and started to walk out. Then the nurses spoke to him and he said "sorry, I was thinking of the next patient"

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By *ENGUYMan  over a year ago

Hull

In 1988, I needed Urgent Eye Surgery at Moorfields Eye Hospital in London.

I was wheeled into the side room to the Operating Theatre to be given my Anaesthetic, but first, one Doctor wrote something above both eyes with a wax crayon and I asked what he'd done?

He said, "I've marked each one respectively as L and R, because the Consultant can't tell his Left Hand from his Right!"

I heard a few days later, it was typical Medical Humour!

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"I actually had a situation in Spain where I had a broken wrist and I needed an operation on my other hand and had a surgeon that barely spoke English telling me they were going to break the bones in my arm and reset them. I just started screaming "no" and got up and started to walk out. Then the nurses spoke to him and he said "sorry, I was thinking of the next patient" "

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS  over a year ago

hexham

What? So that is both legs have to come off ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"Doctor! Doctor! I already can't feel my legs!"

"Ah, that's cos we've already amputated your arms"

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By *he_massangerMan  over a year ago

Stornoway

What? The surgical instruments haven't been sterilised? Ah well.

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By *he_massangerMan  over a year ago

Stornoway


""Doctor! Doctor! I already can't feel my legs!"

"Ah, that's cos we've already amputated your arms" "

Too funny!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

We should make quite a lot for these organs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Damn! Forgot to change the gas cylinders, never mind, we’ll just have to hope for the best and make it quick xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Can anyone sew?

Bugger! Brought the wrong glasses! Never mind, shouldn’t be too difficult xx

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By *usman 199 OP   Man  over a year ago

Stockport


"Can anyone sew?

Bugger! Brought the wrong glasses! Never mind, shouldn’t be too difficult xx"

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By *aliceWoman  over a year ago

Birmingham

This morphine is great I'm high as a kite

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""Doctor! Doctor! I already can't feel my legs!"

"Ah, that's cos we've already amputated your arms"

Too funny!"

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By *abluesbabyMan  over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

ME: Will it hurt?

SURGEON: Nah... I won't feel a thing.

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By *ecretlivesCouple  over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Organ donor? No next of kin? Man what a waste of time getting scrubbed up...

Hmm...Have you seen that film Human centipede?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hi team, is this our patient for the afternoon, my name is Dr Hannibal Lecter

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By *ream of Sum Yung Gai2Man  over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Ok nurse, is this my 2 o clock vasectomy.

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By *erry bull1Man  over a year ago

doncaster

Great night last night , 9 pints then finished off with shits

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The priest wants a word with you.

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By *acMac69Man  over a year ago

Cleator

When I was in for an operation.

I asked the anaesthetist if he had ever had someone die on him. He answered no. I started to get up off the table and say I wasn't going to be his first see you later.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I shouldn’t have a hangover whilst operating

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fuck busman, that’s a bit dark! "

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By *aughty but nice...Man  over a year ago

Staffs

Which testicle are we removing again ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is a good one for the work experience student

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nurse how does it go again

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By *ausage1970Man  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Is this like the game "operation" ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well I was good at the boardgame operation so here goes nothing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We can only offer 'this' much sedation. Would you like to bite on this stick?

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By *yron69Man  over a year ago

Fareham

Wheel him through to the carvery..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If I hear “Hi Everybody” and Dr Nick appears from Simpsons

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By *erfectman122Man  over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Upset the surgeon

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dibs on a Kidney

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple  over a year ago

Lincoln

The nurse asking the surgeon if he actually works there.

LvM

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hi Everybody!

If anyone gets the reference

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman  over a year ago

.


"Hi Everybody!

If anyone gets the reference "

Simpsons

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By *itty9899Man  over a year ago

Craggy Island

Well I managed the wish bone with the patient that nose flashes, let try it for real this time.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok, so maybe the surgeon saying: ‘it’s the first time I’ve done this’."

thats a good one

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Hi Everybody!

If anyone gets the reference

Simpsons "

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By *nfin8yWoman  over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Where did I put my glasses?

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By *andonmessMan  over a year ago

A world all of his own

Well there's a first time for everything I suppose...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I always get left and right mixed up.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Trousers unzipping

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