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Non Binary Friend
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So , a friend of mine recently came out to me saying he doesn’t feel neither of the binary genders, and wanted to change his pronouns to hi/viz
Which baffled me A LOT. Because it totally makes no sense and I’m not sure how to use these really…
I’m trying my hardest to understand and obviously respect his request, but it’s really difficult… to get used to made up pronouns like that…
It’s not like we are used to pronouns like Ze/Shim/Tree/Bunny or in this case Hi
And I being a bad friend to him… or let me rephrase .. VIZ???! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Like a hi-viz jacket?? You sure he's not having you on? 
It’s this .. ^
Like someone saying their pronouns are kit / kat "
Exactly! Like swapping the she and he to those is quite a process mentally… and I’m kinda afraid of getting it wrong as well  |
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"I’m kinda afraid of getting it wrong as well "
If a true friend suddenly says they want to be known as Hi/Viz then they should seriously expect the odd slip-up.
If they freak at a mistake, they are not a friend but a pronoun drama fool 
In my opinion |
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"Like a hi-viz jacket?? You sure he's not having you on?
It’s this .. ^
Like someone saying their pronouns are kit / kat
Exactly! Like swapping the she and he to those is quite a process mentally… and I’m kinda afraid of getting it wrong as well "
If it is an honest mistake and you are trying, I think it is jerky on their part to get upset. |
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By *LheadMan
over a year ago
Chester |
"So , a friend of mine recently came out to me saying he doesn’t feel neither of the binary genders, and wanted to change his pronouns to hi/viz
Which baffled me A LOT. Because it totally makes no sense and I’m not sure how to use these really…
I’m trying my hardest to understand and obviously respect his request, but it’s really difficult… to get used to made up pronouns like that…
It’s not like we are used to pronouns like Ze/Shim/Tree/Bunny or in this case Hi
And I being a bad friend to him… or let me rephrase .. VIZ???!"
Nothing but attention seeking bullshit.
Two biological genders, fact!
At the heart of all of this nonsense is the desperate need to "Feel" different for the sole purpose of illiciting a reaction (aka attention) from others in a futile attempt to fill the bottomless void in their lives perpetuated by the cancer which is Social Media.
I really don't give a shit what they want to call themselves just don't drag me into your mental self loathing. |
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Don't sweat over. If they are a good freind they'll know you are their freind first and foremost and know that if you don't get it right in their eyes your not doing it deliberately. It's hard for a society that is not used to such niche terminologies and identification to adjust over night from a society that has failed to acknowledge in the past. As long as your freind knows you respect them and are trying for them that should be enough. Empathy is a two way street. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So , a friend of mine recently came out to me saying he doesn’t feel neither of the binary genders, and wanted to change his pronouns to hi/viz
Which baffled me A LOT. Because it totally makes no sense and I’m not sure how to use these really…
I’m trying my hardest to understand and obviously respect his request, but it’s really difficult… to get used to made up pronouns like that…
It’s not like we are used to pronouns like Ze/Shim/Tree/Bunny or in this case Hi
And I being a bad friend to him… or let me rephrase .. VIZ???!
Nothing but attention seeking bullshit.
Two biological genders, fact!
At the heart of all of this nonsense is the desperate need to "Feel" different for the sole purpose of illiciting a reaction (aka attention) from others in a futile attempt to fill the bottomless void in their lives perpetuated by the cancer which is Social Media.
I really don't give a shit what they want to call themselves just don't drag me into your mental self loathing. "
I think Douglas Murray summed it up well in an interview I saw a while ago..."I identify as 'look-at-me'"
Having said that, it's your mate so entirely up to you to play along or not. They're behaving like an entitled brat though if they take the huff if you make a genuine mistake when trying to remember to use made up words. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So , a friend of mine recently came out to me saying he doesn’t feel neither of the binary genders, and wanted to change his pronouns to hi/viz
Which baffled me A LOT. Because it totally makes no sense and I’m not sure how to use these really…
I’m trying my hardest to understand and obviously respect his request, but it’s really difficult… to get used to made up pronouns like that…
It’s not like we are used to pronouns like Ze/Shim/Tree/Bunny or in this case Hi
And I being a bad friend to him… or let me rephrase .. VIZ???!
Nothing but attention seeking bullshit.
Two biological genders, fact!
At the heart of all of this nonsense is the desperate need to "Feel" different for the sole purpose of illiciting a reaction (aka attention) from others in a futile attempt to fill the bottomless void in their lives perpetuated by the cancer which is Social Media.
I really don't give a shit what they want to call themselves just don't drag me into your mental self loathing. "
I mean there seem to be quite a rise of non-binary who seem to create new pronouns, don’t even know how and why?
Like, I remember this actor who’s now asking to change his pronouns to tree / tree self because … we come from trees …  |
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By *LheadMan
over a year ago
Chester |
".
I think Douglas Murray summed it up well in an interview I saw a while ago..."I identify as 'look-at-me'"
Having said that, it's your mate so entirely up to you to play along or not. They're behaving like an entitled brat though if they take the huff if you make a genuine mistake when trying to remember to use made up words."
EXACTLY!
It's complete nosense, has nothing to do with "Societies fillings" and everything to do with the desperate need to be different.
If you don't feel neither male or female great thats up to you, it doesn't follow there should be 45 millions ways to describe that as a "pro noun" then expect the majority who don't feel the same way to conform to that.
Oh, God help anyone who gets it wrong Ffs!
Bullshit.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I mean there seem to be quite a rise of non-binary who seem to create new pronouns, don’t even know how and why
They think it is trendy."
I think some are jumping on the band wagon, because it’s “edgy”, especially seem to be the case among youngsters.
Like back in my day, there used to be Emos but anyway. That’s another story |
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By *andyh78Man
over a year ago
manchester |
"I’m kinda afraid of getting it wrong as well
If a true friend suddenly says they want to be known as Hi/Viz then they should seriously expect the odd slip-up.
If they freak at a mistake, they are not a friend but a pronoun drama fool
In my opinion "
“Pronoun drama fool”, love it, I will be using that.
In my politically incorrect opinion some people have to much time on their hands to sit and worry about what they are. I must admit that at times I have had doubts about my sexuality, state of mind, path that life is taking, identity etc but I have never had enough time go to deeply into it. I certainly won’t be spending any time worrying about my pronoun. |
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I have friends with teenagers and they all have to have several 'labels'.
Whether it be 'social anxiety' or painful shyness as it was known, or some form of non m/f gender.
I had to ask the 'pansexual' one what it meant. It resonated with me as I wasn't interested in anything sexual until I was a proper adult |
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"So , a friend of mine recently came out to me saying he doesn’t feel neither of the binary genders, and wanted to change his pronouns to hi/viz
Which baffled me A LOT. Because it totally makes no sense and I’m not sure how to use these really…
I’m trying my hardest to understand and obviously respect his request, but it’s really difficult… to get used to made up pronouns like that…
It’s not like we are used to pronouns like Ze/Shim/Tree/Bunny or in this case Hi
And I being a bad friend to him… or let me rephrase .. VIZ???!"
Are you absolutely sure it's not a joke?
I have no problem with non binary, there's someone at work who is non binary and requested pronouns they/them.
In my opinion choosing random words as pronouns is just silly, and it's unreasonable to expect anyone to remember. I also think this sort of thing opens non binary people to ridicule and makes accepting it more difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When addressing your friend directly, presumably you would just use the name (e.g. Maud or Ermintrude or Wolfgang or Ethelred) rather than use third person pronouns? Does that help a bit?!?!"
Funny you asked… he’s actually asked to refer/speak to him in third person, and he started talking about himself in third person too, using his preferred pronouns. Which is SUPER odd!
Like, very very weird and confusing if I must say. |
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"He has told me off a few times and shouted “PRONOUNS” at me when making a few genuine mistakes… "
All for people being whoever they want to be, express yourself in any way that makes you happy. However….your friend comes across as a right dick  |
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"When addressing your friend directly, presumably you would just use the name (e.g. Maud or Ermintrude or Wolfgang or Ethelred) rather than use third person pronouns? Does that help a bit?!?!
Funny you asked… he’s actually asked to refer/speak to him in third person, and he started talking about himself in third person too, using his preferred pronouns. Which is SUPER odd!
Like, very very weird and confusing if I must say."
I personally find that odd, yes. The old saying comes to mind: "she - is the cat's mother". I was educated to use people's names if they were present/in earshot. |
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"He has told me off a few times and shouted “PRONOUNS” at me when making a few genuine mistakes… "
I think they need to be more reasonable and stop acting like a dick 
They're lucky you didn't just laugh... I'm pretty sure I would have  |
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"I mean there seem to be quite a rise of non-binary who seem to create new pronouns, don’t even know how and why
They think it is trendy."
 this is what I think too. Trendy, different, wanting attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When addressing your friend directly, presumably you would just use the name (e.g. Maud or Ermintrude or Wolfgang or Ethelred) rather than use third person pronouns? Does that help a bit?!?!
Funny you asked… he’s actually asked to refer/speak to him in third person, and he started talking about himself in third person too, using his preferred pronouns. Which is SUPER odd!
Like, very very weird and confusing if I must say."
This sounds like too much hard work for a genuine friendship to be honest.
I couldn't be arsed but I can be a right cow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When addressing your friend directly, presumably you would just use the name (e.g. Maud or Ermintrude or Wolfgang or Ethelred) rather than use third person pronouns? Does that help a bit?!?!
Funny you asked… he’s actually asked to refer/speak to him in third person, and he started talking about himself in third person too, using his preferred pronouns. Which is SUPER odd!
Like, very very weird and confusing if I must say.
This sounds like too much hard work for a genuine friendship to be honest.
I couldn't be arsed but I can be a right cow."
You? A cow? Noooo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When addressing your friend directly, presumably you would just use the name (e.g. Maud or Ermintrude or Wolfgang or Ethelred) rather than use third person pronouns? Does that help a bit?!?!
Funny you asked… he’s actually asked to refer/speak to him in third person, and he started talking about himself in third person too, using his preferred pronouns. Which is SUPER odd!
Like, very very weird and confusing if I must say.
This sounds like too much hard work for a genuine friendship to be honest.
I couldn't be arsed but I can be a right cow.
You? A cow? Noooo "
A cow with a low bullshit tolerance. |
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"So , a friend of mine recently came out to me saying he doesn’t feel neither of the binary genders, and wanted to change his pronouns to hi/viz
Which baffled me A LOT. Because it totally makes no sense and I’m not sure how to use these really…
I’m trying my hardest to understand and obviously respect his request, but it’s really difficult… to get used to made up pronouns like that…
It’s not like we are used to pronouns like Ze/Shim/Tree/Bunny or in this case Hi
And I being a bad friend to him… or let me rephrase .. VIZ???!"
He just wants attention, he’s the bad friend. These people need to be told no. |
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"When addressing your friend directly, presumably you would just use the name (e.g. Maud or Ermintrude or Wolfgang or Ethelred) rather than use third person pronouns? Does that help a bit?!?!
Funny you asked… he’s actually asked to refer/speak to him in third person, and he started talking about himself in third person too, using his preferred pronouns. Which is SUPER odd!
Like, very very weird and confusing if I must say.
This sounds like too much hard work for a genuine friendship to be honest.
I couldn't be arsed but I can be a right cow.
You? A cow? Noooo
A cow with a low bullshit tolerance. "
Don’t forget a nice pair of legs as well.... |
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