Chuck Norris was up for the lead role of “jack bauer” in the tv series “24” …. But he killed off all the baddies and solved the case in 1hr 36 minutes

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By *m389Man over a year ago

Bromley

Chuck Norris looked at a women once. She came…

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris was up for the lead role of “jack bauer” in the tv series “24” …. But he killed off all the baddies and solved the case in 1hr 36 minutes

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck petrol tank as a joke. That truck Is now known as Optimus Prime.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris, is on loan to the Vatican, piss god off, and expect a not so polite knock on the door...

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By *aiseiMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

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By *heMightySpud69Man over a year ago

Milton keynes

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg.

After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Winston

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Covid is scared of being caught by Chuck Norris

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people.

Then it exploded.

Winston

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By *isterConfidentMan over a year ago

edgware

The Flu has to get a Chuck Norris shot once a year.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

They say Chuck Norris’ tears can cure covid but Chuck Norris never cries.

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By *isterConfidentMan over a year ago

edgware

DEATH…. Once had a near Chuck Norris experience!

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.

The next 59 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Winston

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By *isterConfidentMan over a year ago

edgware

A Friend once told me that Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

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By *isterConfidentMan over a year ago

edgware

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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By *amantha TSWoman over a year ago

Swindon

And on the 7th day, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Earth. And that's why the Earth spins...

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By *amantha TSWoman over a year ago

Swindon

"A Friend once told me that Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in. "

Wasn't that Nick Knowles?

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By *isterConfidentMan over a year ago

edgware

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Highland midgies run from chuck norris

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By *aiseiMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Diamond was the hardest thing known to mankind, until 10th March 1940.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

Winston

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By *hoirCouple over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever

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By *hoirCouple over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck norris has never seen a rain cloud. They are scared to get his hair wet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone once tried to Chuck Norris but he was to heavy

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By *ayHamboMan over a year ago

Enfield

When Chuck Norris left his childhood home, he told his dad "You're the man of the house now."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris changed his name to Chuck Norris by deed poll when he woke up one day and couldn't remember who he was.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

How much wood could Chuck Norris chuck

If Chuck Norris could chuck wood?

As much as he fucking wanted!

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

"Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich.

Winston"

Oi!!!!!!

Lady Astor

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris can get a meet with any woman on Fab, in one minute.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris can get a meet with any woman on Fab, in one minute. "

Women message Chuck Norris saying “fancy a fuck”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not even chuck Norris can get a reply on fab

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He’s the only person to beat Bruce Lee in a tournament, a true fact

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS over a year ago

hexham

The devil played poker with Chuck Norris for Chuck’s soul. The devil got a royal straight flush and Chuck Norris got king high, so the Devil folded his hand

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris can get a meet with any woman on Fab, in one minute.

Women message Chuck Norris saying “fancy a fuck”"

Yep. And Unicorns regularly send him hundreds of messages. An hour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nails are as hard as Chuck Norris.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck Norris can get a meet with any woman on Fab, in one minute.

Women message Chuck Norris saying “fancy a fuck”

Yep. And Unicorns regularly send him hundreds of messages. An hour. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nightmares wake in terror from Chuck Norris.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris is my father!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Even John Wick is scared of Chuck Norris

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"He’s the only person to beat Bruce Lee in a tournament, a true fact "

Norris says that they never actually fought, only sparred a couple of times

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By *illiam101000Man over a year ago

Melton Mowbray

"He’s the only person to beat Bruce Lee in a tournament, a true fact

Norris says that they never actually fought, only sparred a couple of times"

That's because Bruce Lee folded.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug on his floor…

It isn’t dead it’s just afraid to move.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Superman wears chuck norris pyjamas

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By *aiseiMan over a year ago

Birmingham

When Chuck Norris logs in here, pictures Fab him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When The Incredible Hulk gets really angry he turns into Chuck Norris.

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By *t my DesiresWoman over a year ago

Bitchville

Nobody messes with Chuck Norris and lives - not even on CBS!!

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By *ustmemyselfandi1Man over a year ago

southampton

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his own bare hands

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By *olymalelincsMan over a year ago

southend

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS over a year ago

hexham

Chuck Norris’ dad used to say to other kids at Chuck Norris’ school “ my Chuck Norris is bigger than your dad!”

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By *2000ManMan over a year ago

Worthing

Chuck Norris had a part in Coronation Street...he chucked Norris.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bullets change direction mid flight when they realise they're heading for chuck norris

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray….

To season his meat.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Steaks tenderise then cook them selves to perfection when he looks at them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris uses pepper spray….

To season his meat."

Pepper spray starts crying when it sees him

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris can str@ngle you…

With a cordless phone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart wouldn't be so stupid as to attack him.

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By *olymalelincsMan over a year ago

southend

Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

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By *atermelodyMan over a year ago

Northampton

Chuck Norris doesn't do Push ups, he pushes the world down

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By *atermelodyMan over a year ago

Northampton

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agent Smith let's chuck do what ever he wants inside the matrix

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out"

That’s just silly. You have made that up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck nourishing doesn't climb mountains they fall at his feet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Chuck nourishing doesn't climb mountains they fall at his feet "

Is that the Chuck Norris range of protein shakes?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jaffa cakes admit to being cakes when he asks if they are biscuits

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By *J and CBCouple over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Chuck Norris doesn't buy butter, he just roundhouse kicks a cow until butter comes out.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

Freddie Krueger is afraid that Chuck Norris might one day get tired and take a nap.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple over a year ago

Coventry

Before Chuck Norris started on FAB there was straight guys, gay guys and bi guys. After his first day on Fab 69% of straight guys on Fab identified Fab straight. The other 31% gave up on women completely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror there is no reflection….

There can only be one Chuck Norris.

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By *rmissblueeyesCouple over a year ago

local

Santa clause was real until he forgot to deliver presents to a young chuck norris

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

"Santa clause was real until he forgot to deliver presents to a young chuck norris"

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.

It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have laughed and laughed at this pleasant thread more please.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

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By *olymalelincsMan over a year ago

southend

"Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out

That’s just silly. You have made that up

Never would I make up facts about Chuck Norris

it's just too dangerous

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By *etcplCouple over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Did you know that the Goonies character Chester Copperpot was originally going to be played by Chuck Norris and instead of him being dead he was going to come to the rescue of the kids when they got attacked by the giant octopus at the end.

But filming schedule conflicts meant he couldn’t do it, hence he was just killed off early on.

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By *iddlesticksMan over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The big bang was caused by chuck norris clapping

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris has no chin. Underneath his beard is another fist.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

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By *r SproutMan over a year ago

the middle

When Chuck Norris adds milk to Rice Krispies they shut the fuck up

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Chuck doesn’t recognise the periodic table. The only element he believes in is the element of surprise

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

the spartan baby in the spoof version of the film 300 was modeled on a photo of chuck norris at 5 minutes old

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He completed Pokémon Go with his landline

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

vegetables need 5 portions of chuck norris a day to stay healthy

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By *r laidbackMan over a year ago

London & New Brighton

Chuck Norris does not read books, He stares at the until he gets the information he wants

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By *andsome HandMan over a year ago

roundabout

Nobody knows what a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick sounds like because dead men tell no tales

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By *andsome HandMan over a year ago

roundabout

God said "let there be light"

Chuck Norris replied "say please"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris peh id shit him

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By *oubletroubleCouple over a year ago

South West

Chuck Norris used to hang my nans washing up, unless it was raining.

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By *agic.MMan over a year ago

Orpington

Jesus might have walked on water, however Chuck Norris can swim through land

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By *he AmbassadorMan over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

[Removed by poster at 26/04/22 13:29:12]

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By *he AmbassadorMan over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Chuck Norris was once a man trapped inside a womans body,,,,

Then he was born.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I bet most of you don't know that Chuck Norris has played a crucial role in the Star Wars franchise. He played the Force.

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By *ensual-dominant-passionMan over a year ago

sheffield

He was no match for Bruce Lee

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

Chuck Norris joined a convent.

He was then a nunChuck.

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