FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bald/long hair , tall/short, fit/dad bod ...it's all preference, isn't it
Bald/long hair , tall/short, fit/dad bod ...it's all preference, isn't it
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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago
Orpington |
Sure for you ladies it is just preference, but for some of the guys reading threads like that, it's a constant reminder that they will never be good enough (for the vast majority), especially if the comments look more like "I would never date a bald guy/ guy that is under 6'" rather than " I prefer tall guys/ a guy with hair" (yes, there is a difference between the two comments).
Don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say... I'm not saying women should change their preferences, not even close. This thread is more directed to the guys that ask these questions in the forum...because I believe that the real question these men are trying to ask is " do you like my hair?" "Is my height good enough?" "Do you like my body?", rather than asking a generic question in the hopes that the majority of women would choose the option they can fit in... but asking a question so directly, like "hey do you like the way I look?" might be considered too desperate.
Not sure where I'm going with this  ...I can see both sides, and I know there are women who ask similar questions...I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest .
I know I know "if you don't like a thread, stay away from it"  ... that's a fair point though, can't argue with it |
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I know what you mean but sometimes people ask a direct question like do you like beards? I will comment no I don’t. But I think when people say no they’re gross then it can be offensive. Also “are tattoos sexy” no I don’t think they are, rather than no I can’t see why anyone would ruin their body like that. It’s how you say things. I’ve answered a few questions with a simple yes or no and people have demanded reasons, got offended etc just because it perhaps wasn’t what they wanted to hear. I kinda see where you’re coming from x |
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc."
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him  . Then I’ll add a private note. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fair point about them phrasing it that way to try and get positive replies. It must be soul destroying to get no replies to messages. Just one positive reply on a forum thread could make someone's day. (I'm not being sarcastic.)
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc."
Very true.
I have a feeling OP was referring to a thread I was just reading about ladies preferring bald men or men with hair and some of the comments were a little scathing...
It's fine to have a preference - everyone has them whether men or women..what I think (and I think OP is saying) is that it's not okay to be derogatory about the thing that isn't your preference, like saying that someone is 'gross' if they're bald.
Some of the comments on that thread by ladies are pretty mean and if it was a thread about ladies and men commented things like 'big boobs are gross' they'd be absolutely crucified.
So ...yes we have preferences but no we don't need to be mean about it! |
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I think we can word things more positively, rather than pit one thing against the other. For example ask what is it you like about say big boobs, rather than do you like big boobs and have people say eww no or say something like real women nonsense. |
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"I think we can word things more positively, rather than pit one thing against the other. For example ask what is it you like about say big boobs, rather than do you like big boobs and have people say eww no or say something like real women nonsense. "
Oh I hate the 'real woman' thing. It's when people are trying to be complimentary to curvier women it gets me because I just think you're then insulting everyone else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are a lot of threads that could be upsetting/confidence damaging at times, posted by all genders.
Today's example that stands out is why are all women fat and over 50. Posted by a man....
We are never going to be everyone's cup of tea, and not everyone is going to answer/post threads in a positive way unfortunately, but that is always great for showing who's an utter dick  |
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"I think we can word things more positively, rather than pit one thing against the other. For example ask what is it you like about say big boobs, rather than do you like big boobs and have people say eww no or say something like real women nonsense.
Oh I hate the 'real woman' thing. It's when people are trying to be complimentary to curvier women it gets me because I just think you're then insulting everyone else "
Yep it's a massive bug bear of mine. Comparison is the theif of joy. I think threads can celebrate preferences without having to say A is better than B. |
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Well, I'm often viewed as nothing more than a free, disposable wet hole as are vast amounts of women so if you're being 'rejected' because someone doesn't find you to be their type, I say you have the upper hand.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him . Then I’ll add a private note. "
You must have more extensive files than a T1000!..  |
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him . Then I’ll add a private note.
You must have more extensive files than a T1000!.. "
Oh I love private notes. Took me 5 years to find them mind . I sometimes read threads and make notes . I don’t even comment. It’s handy  . I’d die of anyone could see them |
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
Very true.
I have a feeling OP was referring to a thread I was just reading about ladies preferring bald men or men with hair and some of the comments were a little scathing...
It's fine to have a preference - everyone has them whether men or women..what I think (and I think OP is saying) is that it's not okay to be derogatory about the thing that isn't your preference, like saying that someone is 'gross' if they're bald.
Some of the comments on that thread by ladies are pretty mean and if it was a thread about ladies and men commented things like 'big boobs are gross' they'd be absolutely crucified.
So ...yes we have preferences but no we don't need to be mean about it! "
There are threads all over written by men being nasty about types of women just to praise the ones they like.
Look at all the fake or real threads, the curvy 'real women' threads, calling public hair disgusting and unhygienic and thread after thread reducing women to one, homogeneous group. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him . Then I’ll add a private note.
You must have more extensive files than a T1000!..
Oh I love private notes. Took me 5 years to find them mind . I sometimes read threads and make notes . I don’t even comment. It’s handy . I’d die of anyone could see them "
I bet the word twat appears a lot? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him . Then I’ll add a private note. "
Ok Bergerac |
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By *avie65Man
over a year ago
In the west. |
Bald guy/full head of hair
Tall guy or woman/short guy or petite
Slim/curvacious
Blue eyes/green eyes
Tattoos/no tattoos
Big boobs/small boobs
Well endowed/average
The list goes on but everyone is different. What trait or physical attribute appeals to you in one person may not attract you to another.
As the James Bond title said - Never say never(again). |
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him . Then I’ll add a private note.
Ok Bergerac "
. You should see the files I have on you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him . Then I’ll add a private note.
Ok Bergerac
. You should see the files I have on you! "
I'm the  |
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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
"There are a lot of threads that could be upsetting/confidence damaging at times, posted by all genders.
Today's example that stands out is why are all women fat and over 50. Posted by a man....
We are never going to be everyone's cup of tea, and not everyone is going to answer/post threads in a positive way unfortunately, but that is always great for showing who's an utter dick "
There’s an actual post about this?? |
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
I was just thinking this too. Many a time I’ll
See a thread and someone will say I prefer a petite woman and I’ll think ah buggar I liked him . Then I’ll add a private note.
You must have more extensive files than a T1000!..
Oh I love private notes. Took me 5 years to find them mind . I sometimes read threads and make notes . I don’t even comment. It’s handy . I’d die of anyone could see them "
Private notes and 'filter threads'; a marriage made in Fab Heaven  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s a thread on here every bloody day asking men about their preferences  I don’t read them, as I’m not comfortable with some of the objectification that happens on Fab (as someone with feminist tendencies, it can be a tricky place to be at times!). Probably an unpopular view on a swinging site, but hey ...
Anyway, I don’t have a fixed type and am generally happy to take people at face value. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc."
Exactly!!! X
The list goes on and on and on as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
Exactly!!! X
The list goes on and on and on as well "
Pipe down Kylie. |
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"There are a lot of threads that could be upsetting/confidence damaging at times, posted by all genders.
Today's example that stands out is why are all women fat and over 50. Posted by a man....
We are never going to be everyone's cup of tea, and not everyone is going to answer/post threads in a positive way unfortunately, but that is always great for showing who's an utter dick
There’s an actual post about this??"
There was earlier. It might have been pulled. I didn't deign to answer it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think everyone has a type and we do like curvy ladies but have met ladies we wouldn't have thought we would when we first started on here and have enjoyed every minute of their company both in and out of the bedroom.
We've found that finding someone attractive and wanting to jump into bed with them isn't all about looks or body type |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is different and that’s the beauty of life. No one is you and that’s your power, You can’t be good enough for everyone and that’s okay.
Most do have a type and it’s not all about looks. All you can do is be yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its mainly men who post these vr's post ?? i dont know why as it just cause's more problems with there self esteem ....nothing is a given when you join fab absolutly nothing yet so many think there is ....
then add the compitition of a zillion men per woman alot will get nothing just because of this fact alone no mater how much they try or preference or vr's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I probably have more preferences on here, as I'm just looking for people to sleep with. So I want what I want.
If I was looking for a relationship, my preferences would be less strict. "
Interesting. I’m the opposite and would be stricter in my relationship choices. |
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc."
Not for all of us by any means. For me it's about an open, fun and honest personality and just 'clicking' with that person. I can honestly say I've had relationships and fun with just about every physical description, BUT every one of them has been really attractive to me in her own way - call it the 'X factor' if you will. |
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"There are a lot of threads that could be upsetting/confidence damaging at times, posted by all genders.
Today's example that stands out is why are all women fat and over 50. Posted by a man....
We are never going to be everyone's cup of tea, and not everyone is going to answer/post threads in a positive way unfortunately, but that is always great for showing who's an utter dick "
Incredibly well put. Any man who speaks in that manner has just shown himself to be crass, disrespectful and unworthy - not to mention possibly bitter.
On a positive note it must help filter out those types before you even get started. |
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"There’s a thread on here every bloody day asking men about their preferences I don’t read them, as I’m not comfortable with some of the objectification that happens on Fab (as someone with feminist tendencies, it can be a tricky place to be at times!). Probably an unpopular view on a swinging site, but hey ...
Anyway, I don’t have a fixed type and am generally happy to take people at face value."
Hallelujah! What a rare thing! This comment has genuinely restored my faith to some degree. Thank you! |
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"Don't guys have preferences too though?
Big boobs / small boobs
Big bum / small bum
Long hair / short hair
Blondes / brunette
Etc.
Picky yes but not based on any of the above. I like:
Kind
Sexy
Gentle
Eye contact
Passionate ……
Yep, all of the above please
A picky chap then?! "
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