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Dad jokes

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By *olacola OP Man over a year ago

lincoln

What’s your favourite dad joke?

Mine is

I told my girlfriend she had drawn her eyebrows too high

She looked surprised !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Corduroy pillows - they're making headlines.

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By *erry bull1Man over a year ago

doncaster

Crazy paving , isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory?

There's da brie everywhere

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got told off for making too many linkin park references

But in the end it doesn’t even matter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Crime in Multi storey car parks is wrong on so many levels.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A shop carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying blue paint. Both crews are said to be marooned

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By *entative_steps7781Couple over a year ago

Home

Bigfoot is often confused with sasquatch.

Yeti never complains.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I used to play semi professional football. I never did it for the money, I did it for the kicks.

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By *atureGent58Man over a year ago

funland

Exit signs… there on the way out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Xmas Eve?

He left his sledge in a snow parking zone

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By *olacola OP Man over a year ago

lincoln

I love all these

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?...

...pop it in the microwave until its Bill Withers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Without doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean made of fizzy orange.

When I woke up, I realised it was a Fanta-sea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

2 in 1 person are siamese.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

9/11 Americans won’t get this.

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By *aleforfun22Man over a year ago

Lancashire

I heard it was kicking off in our local chippy when i went to look 4 fish wer getting battered

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By *escourtesMan over a year ago

hereford

Monkeys wandering through the jungle looking for his spanners...

Comes across the Jaguar and says Ive lost me spanners have you seen them?

Jaguar replies yes Ive eaten them..

Monkey says what! Youve eaten my spanners?

jaguar yep..Havnt you ever heard of a

2 litre Jaguar?

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By *ewfie02Couple over a year ago

Ayrshire

Bingo caller developed a stutter

He was f f f f f f fired.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What can T-rex clap?

Because they are dead.

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By *olacola OP Man over a year ago

lincoln

I was in b and a a guy asked me if I wanted decking…

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A math teacher arrested and removed from a commercial plane. They searched his briefcase found a compass,protractor, slide rule, and calculator. They are WEAPONS OF MATH INSTRUCTION.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why doesn't the Queen wave with this hand? (Imagine you can see me waving my left hand)

Because this is my hand.

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By *rAitchMan over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

A bloke goes to the doctor, saying every time he has a poo it comes out sliced like chips.

The doctor tells him to drop his trousers and bend over the table so he can have a look. The doctor spends a few minutes rummaging about and then tells the bloke he'll now poo normally.

Relieved, the bloke asks what the doctor had done.

"I've just cut 6" off your string vest", the doctor said!

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By *lappyMan over a year ago

Manchester

when I passed my comedy degree at uni, I thought I’d be laughing

I’m currently studying ballet and university and when I finish, I’m hoping to leave with a 2:2

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